First night at home with DD - so hard!!!!!

[Tulip2013]

Had my DD in early hours of Saturday (long labour as was induced Weds morning and they used ventouse and forceps in the end) and brought her home today.really lovely to be home but blimey it's hard. She hasn't slept a wink until now and just wants to be on the breast all the time. She wasn't perfect in hospital but at least slept for 2-3 hours a night. It looks like we will be lucky to get 5 mins tonight.

Hopefully I'm not alone. Were others awake all night in the first few days?

hi tulip. why not head over to the antenatal boards and find the October thread. it's just a lot of vert chatty ladies who've all just had babies or about to and are going through all this together. its just nice to know you're not alone!!

Oh Tulip, DH and I can laugh now about our first days home with DD1 now but it was so hard at first (she's 9 yo!). The one that sticks in my mind was a night when I fed the baby, DH settled her down in her cot, got back into bed and turned out the light. A few minutes later, the baby snuffled and snorted, as they do, and DH leaped up, turned on the light again and went to get her. By the time we got to DD3, the same noise would have had us thinking 'Ah, we'll wait and see if she really means it!' And nine times out of ten, the baby wasn't even awake, just snuffling.

Congratulations - you're doing fine and it'll get easier!

It will get better. Don't let anyone tell you this is not normal. I remember panicking in the early days thinking why my DD wouldn't go to sleep. She has to be either on the breast or rocked by DH. Caring for a newborn is very very hard. All the best.

Wow, thanks everyone. This is the most amazing thing about MN, I feel very supported and pleased that you all had this too!

She's let us get a couple hours of rest and is still asleep thank goodness! DH downstairs now and will bring me brekkie. He's been fab taking her in the night to try to calm her down and let me get some rest

I will look at kellymom and the October antenatal pages today. Thanks again girls!

I remember it well! We were in hospital for a week after the birth and I found with DP being sent home every night it was horrific for the first few nights. Like you I found the conflicting advice from midwives completely bewildering.

The only advice I can give is rest / sleep whenever you can - everyone told me this at the time but I ignored it and tried to get stuff done when she slept. Error! I won't make that mistake again.

Also I found it really helpful to go to drop in breastfeeding café type places when it was difficult. Just to feel like you're not alone and get some reassurance, especially if your partner is going back to work, it can be a bit daunting.

Good luck and congratulations!

Hi there ,
Try to find if there is " bosom buddies" group near you. They are breast feeding support groups. My antenatal teacher told us about them few weeks ago. Apparently they are mega friendly supportive and helpful. Google them. Best wishes and congratulations x

Oh yes and accept any offers of help. With anything!

Ignore anyone who says you're making a rod for your own back, need to establish a routine, etc etc. Foe the first few weeks it's all about surviving (and enjoying all the snuggles )

congrats op if it helps my last dd never slept the first night she was born and hardly slept for the first 3 days but it did get better enjoy those special days

Definitely let your DH take her for a bit tonight. My first night home, DD's third night in the world, I was just so shattered I couldn't think straight. DH sat and rocked her for hours in a chair and sung "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo" on repeat. I felt guilty that I'd had some sleep but he'd had two full nights whilst we were in hospital and he said it was real chance for them to get to know each other and they hadn't been alone together before that.

My no 2 is due after Christmas and we're more used to being tired now. I look back and laugh that I felt a bit bad going to sleep for a few hours with everything I had been through!

Good luck for tonight! I hope your little one settles a bit better and if not just remember it has to change. They can't and don't do it forever.

You're managing really well. Ours never really slept much and not every night all night until at least 3 years but I'm sure yours will be easier.

At the just rest when you can, definitely with the baby lying next to you which works very well for many people and cultures around the world. In my case it took a good few days - at least 3 before breastmillk replaced colostrum and lots of sucking in those days by the baby which of course is just what is needed to encourage the milk anyway but hard work. However do have breaks and as you are doing share it all with your other half - best to start off with fairness and equality. You could feed and he could then hold for an hour whilst you sleep etc etc.

Hello yes this is normal!

Mine was on the breast solidly for first few weeks, but it does settle down,

Babies are growing and changing all the time, so do not think anything is set in stone....its like they need to feed madly to get going, then it settles down, then they have a growth spurt....

congratulations, you are feeling what all new parents feel.....enjoy

Our baby was born 5 days ago and seems to sleep all day then be up feeding constantly all night till 6am. My wife is exhausted. Good to hear we are not alone!

As pps have said you are definitely not alone!! My dd was born on the 9th and our first couple of nights at home were horrendous! I probably got an hours sleep in total each night. The midwife told me it is completely normal as baby is trying to adjust to their new environment and also trying to get your milk supply going.

Hang in there!! Congratulations :D

I am glad to hear these positive stories, 5 weeks in, my DD only sleeps for two hours max. Takes an hour to feed. So on a 3 hour feed cycle.

She's FF but still only sleeps for 2 hours. I now understand why sleep deprivation used as a form of torture!