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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

So frightened and emotional

67 replies

ElBombero · 01/09/2013 20:57

39+2 and its happening, felt periody and crampy past few days, then past few hours had pains, tightenings, take my breath away nerve pains in my bum. I'm struggling. Just bringing it all back from horrific birth with DD, in bed crying and feel very scared. Having my DD was the best thing I ever did but god it hurts like mad doesn't it, I honesty thought I was dying last time. I'm so sad I'm gonna have to go through it all again.

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 01/09/2013 21:56

Oh I remember the ridiculousness and powerlessness of trying to push with a spinal anaesthetic while they pulled me down the bed with a ventouse. Push? I couldn't feel anything below my chest. They may as well have asked me to bunny hop round the theatre whilst singing songs from Evita. I felt so ruddy detached from it all.

Second time round, there was no fear of the unknown. I knew who and what I was doing it all for and no it wasn't a perfect vaginal delivery with floating cherubs and blossom drifting gently down but I was meeting my son and I asked what was happening, talked to the people there who were doing an amazing job. I worked with what was happening, not against it and I found the strangest calm and acceptance in it all. It was such a positive experience. And it wasn't anything to do with the circumstances really, but everything to do with remaining positive and meeting the last member of our family.

Original poster
ElBombero · 01/09/2013 22:05

Showofhands thank you, a lot of what you said as really hit home. There is so much of DD first days / weeks that's I can't even remember due to the bad experience we both had, I want to enjoy it all, it most importantly I want to enjoy it after the birth, not only for NB but for my DD, I would hate for her to see me upset.

Thanks guys, think I might just go for the epidural then I can rest and hopefully not be to traumatised.

I thought spinal and epidural was the same thing, thanks for that.

OP posts:
PerilousStiletto · 01/09/2013 22:11

You'll be great.
Do whatever is best for you.
Great advice already given - but definitely remember to breathe. Wink
But seriously, being relaxed is really important. Drop those shoulders, unclench those teeth.
(I had an epidural - it was very nice, and didn't hurt - but had to have a cs in the end -but I could wiggle my toes throughout.)
You'll be a mummy again very soon. Smile!
Good luck!

Thurlow · 01/09/2013 22:23

Yes yes, this is your labour so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you're coping, that's brilliant, but if you want an epidural, go for it.

Good luck!

yoyoyo · 01/09/2013 22:29

1st birth horrible & slow. 2nd birth fast & minimum pain. The main difference was I wasn't so tired & could hear & do what the midwife was saying.

PacificDogwood · 02/09/2013 22:42

Dare I ask: any news?

Whatever transpired, I hope you are not scared or in pain now Smile.

AmIGoingMad · 02/09/2013 22:52

I've been wondering that too!

Original poster
ElBombero · 03/09/2013 12:18

I went into hospital yesterday, not dilating but still pains n baby measuring small. Being induced in the morning Hmm

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 03/09/2013 20:51

Thanks for answering Smile and sorry to have been so nosy.

My first delivery was an induction and it was fine, honestly it was.

Very best of luck for tomorrow Thanks

Original poster
ElBombero · 03/09/2013 21:04

Thanks pacific, how long from induction to delivery. Was it a normal delivery or section?

OP posts:
Fairylea · 03/09/2013 21:13

As a mum of an older child (now aged 10) who was a very traumatic birth I can tell you that it absolutely doesn't matter at all whether you go for pain relief or not. A few years later no one will even ask what kind of birth you had. Honestly. Just do whatever you need to do to get you through.

I now also have ds 14months and with him I opted for an elective c section because I didn't want to go through a vaginal birth again. I had lots of judgemental twats telling me I was being daft but it was my body and my choice. Please look after yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help / epidurals or whatever else.

Good luck x

Zara1984 · 03/09/2013 21:25

Good luck for tomorrow OP.

I was induced with DS. Very fast. My waters broke after second prostin gel. It was very painful and fast but I got a lovely epidural and DS was born 3 hours later.

If you are getting the prostin gel, if you get pains below the belly button they are a side effect of the drug and not labour..... They didn't tell me that for a few hours.

You will be FINE!

PacificDogwood · 03/09/2013 21:40

I had 2 prostin pessaries the night before, nothing much happened overnight (well, some pains, but managed fine with breathing and walking and TENS), then had my waters broken, which really kicked things off Shock. Asked and go my lovely epidural, contractions (predictably) slowed, so had a syntocinon drip and DS1 appeared just after 2pm. No episiotomy, no tears to speak of - had my tea and toast and bath within the hour Smile.

Bear in mind this was my first, and your body has done it all before.

And if you have a section - they can be lovely experiences too: DS2 was delivered at 31 weeks by "em"CS because of placenta praevia. We had several hours between the decision for delivery having been made and it was all calm and collected. I am sure a crash CS would've not been so pleasant...

The main reason I opted for a trial of labour for my other deliveries was because I alread had young children at home and was keen on the quicker recovery after vaginal delivery (well, usually, anyway).

I hope you can sleep tonight and that by this time tomorrow you'll have had a 'good' labour and delivery behind you AND - remember the Big Prize - a lovely baby to show for your efforts Smile.

AmIGoingMad · 03/09/2013 22:05

All the best for tomorrow op! Not long til you meet your little one now!Smile

Original poster
ElBombero · 03/09/2013 22:11

:) feeling positive, thanks for all yours words of encouragement and experience xx

OP posts:
Original poster
ElBombero · 04/09/2013 12:39

Just had propess... Waiting on induction pains now... Hmm

OP posts:
Fairylea · 04/09/2013 14:31

Thinking of you. Hope things are going well x

glorious · 04/09/2013 14:46

Good luck OP, you can do it Smile

Zara1984 · 04/09/2013 18:49

Hope it's all going well OP, been thinking of you today xxx

Original poster
ElBombero · 04/09/2013 21:17

Had gel put in at 12pm started with cramps at 6pm and since 7.30 been having what feels like contractions. Pay hour have been regular every 3-4 mins. Midwife just advised a bath then going on monitor to see if they are real contraction or induction pains. I was unfavourable this morning... But god damn it its fucking really really painful. Much happier in bathroom, not found it great labouring in a room with 4 other people, it's not right, I'm so aware I'm gonna be disturbing them all night x

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfSocks · 04/09/2013 21:32

El I was induced with DD, ended up with an epidural, forceps delivery and a 3rd degree tear.

But I didn't find it traumatic, and despite having a bad tear, I was up the next morning and had a shower. I even had a pain free poo! (Sorry, TMI).

I recovered quite quickly, I healed so well I now can't tell the difference between pre and post DD.

So what I'm trying to say is if you need it, take the pain relief. I'm pg with DC#2, and if I need to be induced with the drip, I will make sure my epidural is in place beforehand.

Good luck with your labour. Hopefully you can be moved off into a room so you can relax

Fairylea · 04/09/2013 21:53

I was induced with dd and found I needed an epidural quite quickly. I point blank refused to spend any longer on a normal ward and essentially screamed the house down until they moved me onto the labour ward. I was in so much pain I really needed an epidural. Don't be afraid to push for one.

You're doing so well x

AnotherStitchInTime · 04/09/2013 21:53

Good luck El, no matter what happens soon you will be holding your baby. It is natural to feel scared after a previous bad experience, but second time around you will be more mentally prepared and that helps.

If you need an epi have one, you have nothing to prove, just do what is right for you. Some people have an epi, go to sleep and wake up with their body having done most of the work while they rested.

I have had two EMCS now, the last after a trial of Labour attempting VBAC, but it ultimately doesn't matter how your baby gets here just that they and you are safe and well.

Hope you get some rest.

Thanks
HomicidalPsychoJungleCat · 04/09/2013 22:06

What SOH said. Second delivery was far more medicalised than the first, but I went with what was happening, asked to be informed of every step and accepted that I couldn't do it naturally and that all that mattered was meeting our son. It was actually FAR more positive than my minimal-pain-relief, going-to-do-it-all-naturally first childbirth experience, which led to my waiting YEARS before having the guts to do it again.

Good luck.

AmIGoingMad · 04/09/2013 22:21

I hope all's progressing well el! Been thinking if you today