Do pain thresholds really vary that much? How is it possible that some ladies seem to find labour relatively painless?? *Bit of a long post*

[Minesahotchocolate]

Hi, I'm 30 weeks preg with my 2nd and am starting to think about going through labour again. With my first I really wanted a natural birth, prepared with hypnotherapy type CDs, did yoga etc, read stories about ladies having beautiful water births, and as I'm generally a pretty stoic person was convinced that I would be able to also cope with the pain. It was a huge shock (and took a long time after to get my head around) that I found the pain from early on so completely and utterly overwhelming/unbearable. (My labour in summary:12hours at home, arrive at hosp to find only 3cm dilated, 2 more hours of walking around corridors got me to 5cm, after which I vomited, and reached the limit of what I could take and had an epidural. Contractions STILL hurt a lot, but were bearable, baby was born 4/5hours later after they sped the labour up with oxytocin as contractions had been slowing down).

I've just been reading some Mumsnet posts, and the comments on the NHS pain relief in labour page, and am wondering how some ladies have posted saying that labour didn't really hurt that much!!! Some on the NHS page are accusing it of fear mongering as it suggests that pain relief will be needed, when they found labour didn't hurt much at all.

How can the experience vary SO much woman to woman? Even after the epidural I found it tough! It is hard not to feel a bit of a wimp when you read someone saying that they practically 'Om'ed their way through it in a semi meditative state. My Mum tells me my aunt (who has 3 children and is a tiny lady with no hips - unlike my more generous proportions!) each time felt maybe she should go to the hosp, and a few easy hours later, the baby arrived. So it can't be down to the presence of so called 'child bearing' hips - as I'd be sorted if that was the case.

Is there something I'm missing here, or is it really just down to the luck of the draw??

Sorry for the long post - I'm just wondering what, if anything, I could do differently 2nd time around as I was left feeling quite traumatised (despite a pretty routine labour) due to the pain of the 1st birth.

Not sure if its relevant OP but I too found labour pretty hard going but I was induced frist time round and ended up with emcs as DD distressed. I had an epidural at about 5 cms but managed to sleep on and off for a few hours after till things sped up.
However after csection mws kept asking if I knew how to work the PCA machine as Id used so little and others were crying for more pain relief. I genuinely didn't think the aftermath was that painful.
DD2 epidural at 6 cms which had to be resited twice then spinal for forceps and poss emcs. Again afterwards was sore but pretty bearable without much pain relief.
Can't explain why but wanted to share.
Good luck with your next labour hope it goes well.

i think each birth is different,ive had 4
first was painful but the other 3 were fine.
all were induced and all between 8/9lbs

Because every labour is totally different. I had a horrendous time for over 26 hours. My mum had a total of half an hour labour, no pain relief because none was needed.
Totally incomparable.

I agree- it is the labours that vary more than pain thresholds. My first labour was horrendous, i was begging for pain relief at 2cms and accepted every pain relief offered. Second labour i just used a tens machine and honestly, apart from stinging a bit, it felt perfectly manageable.

Fingers crossed your experience second time round will be better too.

some of it is to do with your outlook I think but like others have said sometimes there's no reason as to the differences. my first was 6 hours start to finish just gas and air didn't get what the fuss was. my second was over 12 hours following induction two weeks early for medical reasons and I was begging for an epidural after 4 hours.

I think the position of the baby has a huge amount to do with the mother's experience and the level and manageability of the pain. My first was a very straightforward birth, TENS and gas and air, and felt pretty OK. The second was a far more protracted and uncomfortable labour, and the pain at the very end was excruciating - this time baby was facing OP. I bailed out and had an epidural with the third!
The chances are your second labour will be much easier than your first, so try not to dread it. It sounds as though much of your trauma first time round arose from your dashed expectations? At least you have a more realistic idea now of what might happen, so perhaps you won't feel so disappointed if it is tough?
People love to tell stories of obstetric disasters to happily expectant Mums and it seems there is a similar class of 'oh it was so easy, just like shelling peas' stories in circulation especially for those who have had difficult births! Grrr...

I think position of the baby and size of the baby have a lot to do with it plus the length of labour.
I have had 3 babies and didn't find it that bad but My friends baby was back to back and she was in labour for ages.
I was with her before she went into hospital and seeing the pain she was in

Sorry dc3 pushed send
Seeing the pain my friend was in she needed an epidural.
I personally think no one should be able to say you can't have painkillers when in labour. No one can predict how anyone else feels.

Pain thresholds may be different but levels of pain in labour definitely are. Some just don't hurt as much as others, for a whole host of reasons. I hope your second labour is one of the easier ones - mine was.

Different bodies, different babies, different sequence of events, different pain thresholds... so many variables.

FWIW I was like you, I found the whole thing excruciatingly painful, and hated every second. Also pregnant again though, we must be mad right? But I've heard others say their first was bad and the second was much better, so I'm holding on to that. At least this time we know what is coming, last time I was utterly unprepared.

My first was induced and it was grim. I only had gas and air before they started prepping for EMCS and then I delivered before we got to theatre.

This time, no one thought I was in labour (including me - only in to confirm SROM) as I was so calm and when checked only 1cm. Delivered my son 2 MINUTES later... Oops.

I second what murder says. I have a friend who is a complete wimp, if she is ill, she rings work sounding like death (I on the other hand ring up sounding perfectly well like usual, feeling guilty, expecting not to be believed) yet she had 2 separate labours with no pain relief. Both. Babes at about 36/37 weeks, both small.

With DS I was induced, managed with gas&air/Meptid, then ad to have a spinal to remove retained placenta!

My two labours/births were very different.

I remember when I was younger going with my mum (I was about 11) and she had a pain threshold test. It was of the scale for her not feeling pain. So yes there are differences in pain thresholds.

i think it is the luck of the draw with pain threshold and it isn't a competition as to who can do birth without drugs and who can have a natural birth.

The end result is a baby

Pain thresholds do vary a huge amount too.

My mum's always said 'labour's not that bad', this coming from a woman who had an induction and an episiotomy(sp).

But then again she also refused to have a catheter and insisited on getting a nurse to walk with her to the bathroom after having a masectomy.

I on the other hand needed to take a whole day off work the day after I had a mole removed because my arm hurt too much

Ergo, my mum clearly has a freakishly high pain threshold and mine must be very low. I've never had a baby/been pregnant but I fully expect it to be horrendusly painful for me and to cry a lot.

It varies in terms of the baby's position, the mother's health and feelings, the support of the midwives/birth partners, length of labour etc.

A physically fit, mentally prepared mother with a well positioned baby, who stays active and is well supported, with a short labour is going to have a very different experience to a frightened, exhausted mother with rubbish midwives, on her back in a busy/noisy hospital with a badly positioned baby and a long labour.

position of the baby for me.

B2B, horrible horrible [sadface]
DD was in 'luge' positon, I had a looooong PITA early labour and then a swift and nice delivery.

It didn't seem to be about my threshold, one was easier than the other.

At least this time we know what is coming, last time I was utterly unprepared.

This, I think, can definitely be a factor. I've only had the one, and I was fully expecting it to be horrific. The reality was nothing like as bad as the birth I'd been imagining, so I'll happily say "It was a doddle, really..." if anyone asks. Doesn't mean it didn't hurt though!

The thing with pain is that there's no way for one person to know the "level" of pain felt by another, there's no way to measure it objectively because it's completely subjective. The only person who can decide what is tolerable is the person feeling the pain.

I never felt the need for epidural, but I certainly would not say my births were easy or "didn't hurt". They were hard and they were agonising, although straightforward. When I was offered Meptid (once with each birth) I took it, and I found it wonderful, as I could still feel the pain but it just didn't seem to matter

The MWs said after DS's birth that I must have a high pain threshold (I am small and he was almost 11lb), but I don't think I do. I was a sobbing useless wreck when I had toothache and couldn't function till the tooth was out; I take painkillers at the slightest headache. Childbirth pain was different for me, I suppose because I knew what it was, I knew it would end and that it didn't mean something was wrong. I am useless with all other pain because IMO it is worsened exponentially by fear (that something is wrong, that it will get worse).

Didn't hurt me that much

But I think that's because dd was premature and totally unexpected - I think I was in shock. Seriously, I think my body was in shock and all the adrenaline etc that was pumping around as a result stopped me feeling it fully. The way that people can walk on a broken leg if they are in shock.

Also she was not back to back, or induced, and was only just under 5lb which must all help.

Thanks hugely for all the replies - it sounds like the experience/pain felt is much more related to the individual birth and not actually that much to do with pain threshold. I think that's what threw me so much last time as I am one of those folk who only go to the Dr if they're practically dying - so thought I'd be able to tough it out through labour ok.
I suspect that with my first birth my daughter wasn't in the best position (although thankfully not b2b) as even on the day that labour started I was walking around normally, and never experienced any feeling of bladder pressure etc. She was a week late, but v. average sized. I also had no braxton hicks beforehand (maybe that didn't help?). With this 2nd preg I've already had days when I really feel the pressure of the baby to a much greater extent - hopefully that'll help the labour progress more steadily. Or perhaps my stomach muscles are simply knackered...

MurderofGoths I'll keep my fingers Xed for both of us! I swore I'd never go through labour ever again, but somehow here I am. I think you (and others) are right - knowing more of what to expect has to help (she says hopefully!). I also hate having to rely on others and feeling vulnerable - and loathe feeling/being sick - which no doubt didn't help with the first.

Bitchyrestingface - interesting reading that you find toothache/headache etc far worse as for me I'm the total opposite. Any injections/controlled medical procedures etc during preg/labour/normal life are fine as they are controlled and the pain feels normal in some way. The labour pain however I experienced with the same fear that you seem to feel for other pains! Even though I knew what it was, not knowing when it would end really didn't help (that combined with it being on a totally diff scale of intensity).

Seems like it is a largely diff experience birth to birth, and pain thresholds (from what we know of pain in day to day life) aren't really that relevant.

I've a high pain threshold.
However needed morphine, gas & air and codeine for 7 early miscarriages. (All under 12 weeks) because I laboured for up to 12 hours with each of them.

Total overwhelming, consuming physical pain.

Was told that MC would be like a "heavy period".
Bollocks, not for me. Tbf I have never met any one in RL who had pain like I had. I am no wuss.

Meh, folk are all different I spose.

I know what you mean but I think it's possible that there are such differences in both pain thresholds and labours.

In case it helps... I found primary contractions horrible first time around - I was vomiting for all the first stage; projectile if I had a contraction when prone. I had pethidine and dozed myself from 5cm to 10cm when things got better. Second labour I was therefore quite apprehensive about but it was much better. I did 'om' my way through it; two puffs of G&A but that was more because it was there. So try not to worry - I think once the cervix has been stretched to buggery once it's far happier to relax.

I can't believe pain thresholds aren't that relevant. With Dd
I only went in with an open mind re pain relief. I had borrowed a tens machine so I had something to use at home. By the time I got to hospital and had my first internal I was 9cm and the machine was still only on level 4 of 10. I can well believe that my contractions just didn't hurt as much as others.

BUT the midwife told me I'd do better with it off so I could concentrate on the job on hand so I did the rest with none at all. Dd came out with her hand on her head and elbow sticking out leaving me with a third degree tear right up into my inner and outer sphincter. That must've hurt, surely?! Bit still I was fine! And didn't need painkillers after being stitched up either. I can only assume my body either processes pain better so I don't feel it or I can cope with it!!