Do pain thresholds really vary that much? How is it possible that some ladies seem to find labour relatively painless?? *Bit of a long post*

[Minesahotchocolate]

Hi, I'm 30 weeks preg with my 2nd and am starting to think about going through labour again. With my first I really wanted a natural birth, prepared with hypnotherapy type CDs, did yoga etc, read stories about ladies having beautiful water births, and as I'm generally a pretty stoic person was convinced that I would be able to also cope with the pain. It was a huge shock (and took a long time after to get my head around) that I found the pain from early on so completely and utterly overwhelming/unbearable. (My labour in summary:12hours at home, arrive at hosp to find only 3cm dilated, 2 more hours of walking around corridors got me to 5cm, after which I vomited, and reached the limit of what I could take and had an epidural. Contractions STILL hurt a lot, but were bearable, baby was born 4/5hours later after they sped the labour up with oxytocin as contractions had been slowing down).

I've just been reading some Mumsnet posts, and the comments on the NHS pain relief in labour page, and am wondering how some ladies have posted saying that labour didn't really hurt that much!!! Some on the NHS page are accusing it of fear mongering as it suggests that pain relief will be needed, when they found labour didn't hurt much at all.

How can the experience vary SO much woman to woman? Even after the epidural I found it tough! It is hard not to feel a bit of a wimp when you read someone saying that they practically 'Om'ed their way through it in a semi meditative state. My Mum tells me my aunt (who has 3 children and is a tiny lady with no hips - unlike my more generous proportions!) each time felt maybe she should go to the hosp, and a few easy hours later, the baby arrived. So it can't be down to the presence of so called 'child bearing' hips - as I'd be sorted if that was the case.

Is there something I'm missing here, or is it really just down to the luck of the draw??

Sorry for the long post - I'm just wondering what, if anything, I could do differently 2nd time around as I was left feeling quite traumatised (despite a pretty routine labour) due to the pain of the 1st birth.

Remember even YOUR body is different this time.
I had epidural on first. Swimming in sea of pain, vomiting, felt I was literally drowning and having to bob my head up over the edge of he'll just to gasp for air. Was sodding 4cms when I got it. 4cms!!

Dc2: same labour sequence, stop/start and stop/start for two days, irregular contractions but just so manageable. Painful yes, absolutely, some of it like broken bones... but it swelled, peaked, relaxed and this hadn't happened with ds1. There were breaks. Also I really knew it would end. With your first you know that rationally but at the same time you don't know it. I also thought things like, if I'm in this much pain now how will I have energy/cope with the pain of pushing him out. Yet of course that's totally different sort of experience.. like comparing chalk and cheese.

You'll be grand!!

But the thing is that it doesn't matter WHY, but if you are in pain then take pain relief. It doesn't make you any better mum if you do/don't!! I don't think I need a medal for a pain free birth - it had nothing to do with me!

2Beornet your experience is pretty unusual I'd say. A pain relief free birth is great if you can manage it though, recovery is usually much better. Which is why in the nicest sense possible 2, I have to say you are a freak of nature to have an injury like that and not feel it. You should be doing some sort of crazy endurance sport for money with superhuman stamina like that!!

jimijack

Every labour is different and ime fear will make the pain worse. With dc1 it was agony but I didn't know what to expect and the mws weren't great (understatement) so I was really scared and couldn't get myself into a good position to cope better. Dc2 was still painful but much more manageable, mw was fab and I knew what was happening and was able to work with my body rather than fight against it, I would happily do that one again! There are so many variables that can make it more or less painful!

I think it's a lot to do with how you're feeling. With DC 1 I had a syntocin induction - pain was horrific, off the scale. But emotionally I felt supported and never asked for pain relief other than Ganda. Dc2 - went into labour spontaneously, had horrible midwives, DH couldn't be there for part of the labour, I was petrified and trying to disassociate myself from the situation and my ability to handle the pain suffered.

If you can afford it do a hypno course or have a one to one hypno session, it will really reduce anxiety levels about the birth and should in turn make labour much less stressful and make pain manageable.

I don't know , I consider myself pretty tough but I found labour horrendous am had a c section the second time . The recovery and pain was also horrendous .. I had horses when I was young and fell a lot and got back on and had broken ribs and carried on riding . Also walked home with a broken ankle after a ride with horse in then middle of nowhere ( you get the picture ) .. I never coped well with period pain though so maybe I don't cope well with pain from my lady parts ..Hhmmm

First birth - C Setion, Boy. Not a bad experience overall

2nd birth - I too was a hypnobirth fan and was going to sail through lovely natural birth - em, no! Hours and hours of pain beyond my wildest imagination. Hypnobirthing CD flung to other side of room. Hours and hours of pillow chewing, squealing, begging for drugs, any drugs to be told "you are just a finger tip dilated" Kill Me Now. More hours and hours of P A I N followed by and epidural - phew. hours later, 24 hours later my lovely girl appeared.

Third Birth - waters suddenly went in garden with no warning signs at all. 1 hour later, not too bad with pain, nearly in an ambulance my 2nd lovely boy popped out with no fuss and a bit of gas and air!

Don't think about it. You can't guess and good luck x

I'm in the camp of it not hurting that much. For me, I was absolutely fine, not having the breathe through the contractions or anything until 5pm and he was born at 7pm and I absolutely think it depends on how long your labour is.

I've had an ear infection that hurt more. Don't get me wrong though, we got stuck in traffic and were late getting to hospital so had to do it drug free which I really wouldn't recommend.

I think it can be a combination of differences in pain threshold and every labour being different.

Looking back on it my labour wasnt too horrendous. Sitting here now I think id go for it again. Im not a wuss usually. Have had some horrid accidwnts with snapped shin bones and ribs etc and disnt think that was all that bad. However. I do remember begging someone to kill me when I went into transition.
Ds was back to back and I had no pain relief. The contravtions bloody hurt as did the hundereds of stitches afterwards, but the actual pushing bit I was totally fine with.
I think I was lucky in some respects with the pain. It didnt go on for days. If it had im sure I would have coped alot less. Was 12 hours for me....feom pessary tobirth and hell that was long enough for me!!
My cousin has just sailed through her 3rd quick painless birth. Whereas my mum had 4 horrendous labours resulting in so many complications.
So so different for everyone. For me the aftermath was much worsw. I dont deal well qith being in pain longterm, and ongoing spd and prolapse totally floored me. Maybe some people just deal with different aspects better too. I see women out and about with tiny tiny babies wearing tight jeans or skirts and not walking likejohn wayne whilst sobbing. .........I couldnt imagine being able to cope with that!

It is so variable. Adrenaline, physical position, where you are giving birth, who is present, what your expectations were etc....

For me, it was very very painful. I had fierce contractions every two minutes during the 40 minute car ride to be told when I arrived that I was less than 2cm dilated. Baby was born 5 hours later, with a little help from water, gas and air and pethidine. My boy was back to back, and I didn't feel the pain in my stomach, every time a contraction peaked it was like being punched in the bum hole with someone stretching my thighbines out and away from my pelvis. Sounds lovely eh?

But now I've done it once, and KNOW that I can do, I think even if it is as painful next time, I'll be able to cope better. I hope.

Thanks again for all the messages - it really helps to hear of other folks experiences. Some of you have had some really really tough times.
working9while5 - your description of your first labour could have described mine too. I don't think that I could have put it better.

I'm really hoping that as several of you have said, that knowing what to expect can only help. I agree - the first time, you just don't really believe that it will actually ever end. The fear is quite overwhelming.

I went to register at the hospital today - same one as before (we live in Germany so you have to choose which hospital you are going to) and it brought it all back - feeling totally freaked out. Think I might hide under the duvet cover and eat a lot of chocolate for the rest of the day. Argh!

I had a quick 5 hour labour with my ds, no pain relief at all but it was absolute unbearable agony, don't know how I got through it, I was just in the zone and got the job done. I'm now 2 days away from the gestation that my ds was born, he was a couple of weeks early and I'm shitting myself! I was actually crying in fear yesterday! x

I had an horrific first labour. It wasn't that I didn't believe that it would end - logic dictated that it would and so far as I can remember I never thought otherwise.

For me I simply knew I did not want to be tortured for the number of hours I knew lay ahead of me. I'd had 7 in 10 contractions with a back to back baby, absolutely no break or let up between them for about 7 hours, to be checked and told I hadn't dilated. I knew my body was being tortured without effect (I was induced). I just felt I couldn't be in that pain any longer. I wanted to die, or at least not be there so tried to knock myself out by repeatedly hitting myself on the head. I'd have done literally anything to stop the torture. If they'd have said my baby had to die to end it I'd have signed the paper. It was another 4 hours before they got the epidural in and working properly - bliss!

I had an ELCS for my second. The pain of the wound/scar was absolutely nothing, akin to a scratch, compared to my first experience.

I do think some people cope with the pain better, but I also strongly believe that labour isn't a competition. It is about having the birth that is right for you and for some women/births that will mean more/different pain relief. Have what you need and never feel guilty or weak - you have given birth, which means you are amazing, however you did it.

My first was excruciatingly uncomfortable and endured up with epidural, drip and emcs.

Second I was 9 cm + dilated when I got to hospital, only had my hypnotherapy, baby was born with just local anaesthetic for episiotomy/stitching.

I guess it totally depends on the baby's position and all sorts.

First labour I was terrified of what would happen and how painful itd be.. plus baby was back to back. Had a long labour with drugs to speed up contractions which ended up with an emergency c section. Horrible experience!
Second labour I was afraid that history would repeat itself but I was alot calmer as I knew what to expect and baby in a good position. Labour was painful but I felt like I could cope and the actual pushing bit wasnt awful. Was so relieved to have the birth I wanted and to experience a proper labour as wont be doing it again

My two were both back to back which I can only assume is why it was so painful. And I was induced with both. First with the drip second just the pessary. Both needed an epidural, but with my first it didn't seem to work, and I was in agony. And retreated into myself to cope, I was actually told off by the Dr. For not saying that I was in pain.

Both deliveries were made in theatre DS1 crash situation after his oxygen levels were checked and found to be v low. He was delivered by forceps.

Second was an Emergency c section, allow we knew for at least an hour that it would be a section. He was a large baby (10lbs)

But of the two births my second was the best despite the worse outcome. It was better because I was more confident about the situation and was more vocal about what I wanted in terms of pain relief. I was also looked after by two amazing midwives (over 3 shifts) Who actually seemed to care about me (this didn't happen the first time).

I will always wonder if I had been able to go into labour naturally and labour properly without induction if I could've managed the pain better. I will never know. And if I fell pregnant again I would have an elective c section.

OP second time round I think you will be more confident, which I know helped me.

NB: a CS is not the 'worse' outcome for everyone. It is this basic assumption which drives so many women to feel it necessary to suffer in order to avoid the chances of CS and to feel like failure if they can't avoid it.

A CS, even an emergency one, is only the worse outcome if you decide it to be. To be honest, in an emergency, all sensible scientific opinion would state that EMCS was the BEST outcome as it enabled baby to be delivered safely against the odds.

(Totally understand that the poster above believes this was the worst outcome for her)

Depends on the type of pain really. If I have a headache,period pain, papercut I'm dreadful. But because I could feel the labour pain DOING something it didn't bother me enough for anything other than gas n air, which I loved. .
I said ow and meant 'holy fuck that stings' at crowning and shoulders but that didn't last long and I knew I was almost at the finish line.
It was exhausting though and my labour was 7 hours long but only 10 seconds between contractions so I probably just didn't have time for my brain to register much.

I was 9cm cm dilated with my first before a midwife would examine me (was staying over night on the ward following some fresh blood after mucous plug). Apparently I wasnt "climbing the walls“ enough to be taken seriously. Labouring on my own on the dead of night having to keep quiet due to sleeping new mums on the ward made me really go "into myself". Thought hypnobirthing was bollocks before hand but I suppose this is what I was doing. I kept counting to 4 in my head and really zoned out. when I went down to be induced the midwives were shocked I had gotten that far silently just staring into space-especially as she was back to back. A bit of gas and air did me for the pushing. Anyway my point is you can control the panic and thus the pain it exacerbates by some kind of denial/weird self induced catatonic state.I will be hanging on at home convincing myself it isn't happening counting to 4 like a nut for hours next time too.

Herethereandeverywhere

I agree it was certainly not the worst outcome for me. I should've put 'worst outcome'.
Technically it was due to the recovery time, but my labour was managed better. And mentally it was the best outcome as first time round I felt dreadful.

And I would ask for an elective CS next time, given my experience.

I don't think the circumstances leading up to the birth of my DD helped, I was exhausted having only just started maternity leave (I finished work at 38weeks, went into labour at 39) on reflection I should have finished sooner, I was also recovering from Heavy cold/flu - So my body was just knackered.

At midnight on day one my waters broke, then nothing happened, rang hospital about 6am. They advised me to come in to be checked, and I was admitted to delivery ward about 8am, by midday they had decided to book me for induction the following morning do to infection risk, but still no pain, nothing!

They then moved me to a maternity ward to stay the night and sent hubby home. The weather conditions were dire (December 09), and people were having trouble getting back in - they still sent hubby home though!!
By 10pm I was in agony - I had the most tremendous back pain, the worst i'd ever been in. But still no actual contractions, so they couldn't move me into delivery.
I was on a ward with other women who were in for complications such as water infections, and most were in early pregnancy. It was the middle of the night and everyone was trying to sleep and all I wanted to do was pace around and bellow!
I felt inhibited and so alone, which really didn't help at that stage! Hubby wasn't allowed back as I technically wasn't in labour and it wasn't visiting hours!

By the time I actually went into labour around 4am, I was physically and emotionally drained. I actually found contractions less painful than the back pain I'd felt earlier.
However id had enough, and went for the epidural!

DD2 due in January, and I'm hoping the sequence of events leading up to labour will be less traumatic!

No, I think labours differ that much. I had a pretty much pain free birth but I put it down to DD being in a good position and just being lucky.