Ignored when baby born

[UglySister]

Just wondering, is it common for your family to COMPLETELY ignore you when they meet new baby for the first time? My SIL did this and I still feel a bit hurt. Everybody else did quite the opposite thing, politely waiting to be introduced! Am I being daft?

Eh??
Are you the mother of the baby?
You expect people to wait for introduction to new born??

Oh no get used to being down the line of attention now, it's just part of it

MIL came around to meet new baby and blanked me for 6 hours which normally would be bliss but it was so she could give me time to catch up on the housework which she could see had been neglected the last day or so. And so I could play hostess.

I ahd given birth at 3am that morning. She went after midnight.

yeah, you lose significance once you deliver, its a fact.

on the plus side though you can ignore people too and just pay attention to the baby!

when you're pg everyone wnats to know how you are.
when you have a baby everyone wants to know how the baby is.
fact of life

When I had DS1 MIL came to stay (lives 250 miles away). He was 4 weeks old. She walked through the door, she didnt even take off her coat, didnt say 'hello' to me or even look at me but promptly walked over to me and tried to take DS out of my arms . I very firmly but politely said "He is just about to feed, you can have him a little later. Lovely to see you. I would love a cup of tea" and shoved her into the kitchen. Inside I was fuming. I think she got the hint though

but its natural for grannies and aunties to want to hold the baby straight away isn't it. wouldn't have it in my heart to deny them!

Ah!!!
You should be glad their g/children mean so much to them.
Give 'em a break!

It's nasty, but it happens. You'll have to get used to it - the children now mean more than you do. I did get rather unpleasantly treated by my ILs when my second child was born. I don't know whether I didn't notice it with my first, or whether it didn't happen - I suspect that it didn't happen becuas eof the environment we were in.

Even now my own family go on about how they miss the children (not me) and how they want me to brign the children over to see them. And I used to be the apple of their eye.

BTW, well done poppies!

My MIL was the same, after all I was merely the incubator for 9mths to DD and know it's going to be worse with new bubba as it's a boy!
Going to have him locked away upstairs so DD doesn't feel left out.
I quiet enjoyed her talking to baby- at least then she wasn't telling me what to do...
But I understand how you feel. It's your baby and regardless whether it's family/friends/stranger you decide who holds/talks to your baby! If she is like it again I would say 'No, can you leave him/her as I want him/her to sleep...' Or similar excuse. It worked wonders with MIL and soon took the hint- don't just bloody ignore me!

In fairness, sometimes the mothers act the same way as well! When my sister first came to visit with her baby I opened the door, said 'Hello!!' and she answered 'he's sleeping right now'. Erm...I was saying hello to you?

LOL Poppies, will remember that for my IL's! And, peachyclair, I think my MIL will have a heart attack when she comes and sees that housework will have been neglected for, ooh, about 9 months by then! Her son stays in and works from home while I work FT to pay the bills, but do you think she would consider he could have done any of it?!?! Nah!!

I actually got told by my fil, 2 days after giving birth that I was now redundant and my inlaws could take over now.

Cheeky git, I hope you told him exactly where to go!

I was actually too sleep deprived and in pain to say any of the ripostes I have thought of since. Just smiled wanly and didn't invite them over again for weeks.

LOL Squaishy

At least by Ds3 she didn't ask for the birth certificate before picking him up as she did with DS1!!!!!!!!!!

My mother sent a card, no flowers, she did send money for the baby.

I didn't see her for 6 weeks, and I saw her then because I went to see her....a 10 hour drive and I'd had a section!

We live in different countries from both sets of parents - my Dad and step-mother want to drive over from France and come and stay in a nearby holiday cottage for 2 weeks and am going to insist that in-laws (6 of them) also do the same and that they hire a car at the airport (otherwise they'd expect to be collected and chauffered!).

Pleased, in a perverse kind of way that I am not alone, but I still think it´s unacceptable to be so rude. I wouldn´t dream of behaving in this way myself and have always waited to be shown a new baby by the mum or dad.

My Mum, who is reasonably sane in other situations, actually shoves me out of the way when I open the door so she can get to ds and dd (now five and three)... Drives me nuts.

you get 9 months of 'oh are you ok, can i get you anything?'...then out pops baby and its like'who's she stood there with sick all over her and stinking of milk and babay poo????

of course its common. they expect yo uto be totally wrapped up in new baby so any attention they pay to baby is reinforcing your feelings of love. who the hell waits to be introduced to a baby that's crazy.

what are they going to say to you. you look tired and you smell? get a grip

that was a bit harsh mud..she obviously has a newborn and is feeling very uncertain at minute, like a lot of us did.