Both myself and a friend of mine have had VBACs in the last few weeks. My EMCS was a crash section as DD1 was in serious distress - no reason ever found for the distress, just one of those things. My friend's EMCS sounds like your scenario - her waters broke and labour started but didn't really get past 4cm despite being put on the induction drip, and after a very long and exhausting labour that didn't progress her she had EMCS.
I had a lovely, straightforward, quick and comfortable home birth for DD2 4 weeks ago. The difference in recovery was huge - which was great for me as DD1 is rising 3 and I need to be able to deal with her. I now feel totally back to normal again and have done for about a week.
My friend was nervous about the prospect of a VBAC and wanted to have the easier recovery but also wanted to avoid the long drawn-out labour of the previous experience. She had various meetings with midwives and consultants to agree how things would be approached this time and came up with a birth plan that she was happy with. This included requesting not to be on continuous monitoring (i.e. so that she could be mobile and upright if she wanted to, not confined to the bed) and not to be induced, but to go for another section if it came to a need for induction.
Her labour started with waters breaking same as last time (interestingly both my labours began with waters breaking too!) and contractions started. Things began to stall after a while and it looked as though she would have a similar experience to last time, but thanks to the discussions and plans that she put in place, she felt she was given more choices and was more in control. Eventually she was advised to go on the drip to speed things up and to have an epidural, both of which she agreed to. Baby then got stuck and they wanted to use a ventouse and do an episiotomy. She opted to avoid the episiotomy and managed to give birth with the aid of the ventouse with no tearing I think - not 100% sure but I think she said she didn't have any stitches. In any event, she says that this birth was much easier and a more positive experience than last time, and she is already feeling close to full recovery (whereas if she'd had another section she would probably be quite sore still, based on her previous experience).
My friend also hired a doula and did natal hypnotherapy with her. Both of these she found helpful - the doula came to hospital with her and acted as her advocate. The doula herself is a former midwife so she was able to ask the right questions and explain everything with some authority, which my friend liked. I myself used the local one to one service, which is a pilot scheme in the area for one to one midwifery care - so I had the same midwife throughout my pregnancy and she delivered my baby. I think that this personal level of care and my confidence in her as a midwife made a difference to me - I wasn't really looking to have a home birth, but my midwife came out to me whilst I was in labour and I was happy and comfortable at home so didn't see a reason to transfer to hospital. If I had gone to hospital they would have put me on a monitor, which wouldn't have been my choice at all - the hospital also said no to a water birth, which ultimately I didn't fancy once I was in labour, but I would have liked the option and it was something I wanted to try.
Overall I think we both had better experiences this time because we had better care from midwives who knew us well and cared for us throughout pregnancy, were more informed about what would work for us in labour and we both took more control over things rather than just letting stuff happen. I hope all of that makes sense... I'm in the depths of new baby sleep deprivation!!! 