Did you refuse stitches after a tear during birth and how are you doing?

[cfc]

Am feeding my new son, born on Sat, so this will be brief as one handed!

After the birth, 8 lb-er, I was inspected and told i had torn along my previous episiotomy scar. This prodding around fucking nearly killed me. it was much more painful than the actual birth and i was hopping up the bed trying to get them to stop!

they recom'd a stitch as it had gone some way to the muscle but i couldn't face the thought of it, the needle for the local, and being stitched in the delivery room - was stitched last time in theatre by surgeon (retained placenta, pph) and was flying after a couple of days he did such a great job!

i don't know if we're talking a 2nd or 3rd degree tear, i don't know what makes the grade tbh. i feel ok...dh reckons i should have gone for it at the time - like he'd have ha ha ha, the thought of him in labour, ha ha ha...

I believe if you've torn into the muscle it means bits a third degree tear, ( happy to be corrected) but you really should be in medication.

Did you get any discharge notes?

be on mefication

Ahhhggg medication

I've never turned it down but I know my little one was a biggen and as much as I was pushing nothing much was happening so they cut me and I had stitches which I thought were fine. They numbed me with local and within 2 weeks I was comfortable again. If I ever needed a pee I'd just keep a jug of water by the loo and pour cold water down there so it never hurt. I healed up lovely to though I think he stitched too much as I was very "tight" down there for months and it took a while for sex to become comfortable again.

Sorry not read all the posts so someone may have already clarified.
3rd degree tear is when the tear involves the anal sphincter. There are different classes of third degree (depends on if internal sphincter involved or whether extends to rectum).
If a woman had a third degree tear and it wasn't repaired, there would be a risk of future faecal incontinence.
But, if a woman absolutely refused to have stitches, and was fully counselled on the risks of not doing so, it would be assault for the midwife/obstetrician to proceed.

My midwife told me my tear would look neater with some stitches but I refused. My theory was I never look at it and dh wouldn't care. However five years later and single again I'm starting to wonder if 'neater' would of been wise. I have looked it looks like a vagina. I can't worry.

Tore 2nd degree first time. Had had epidural and just pushed and pushed and didn't do much panting (had also had huge amounts of gas and air and pethidine so was up of it really). Lots of stitches. Infection. Then healed. Then realised (gp at 8 week check) that too darned tight. So...

Cut and restitch when dd was 7 months. horrible horrible horrible - no post birth rush and brand new baby to take mind off the experience which was not great, but at least meant could have sex and have..

Dc2 - small tear. Stitched. Healed with no problems (stitched at home). Gas and air. Fast deliery, under 2 hours, very quick second stage.

Dc3 - small graze (ha!) which was stitched but was borderline.Only stitched because was weeping (the wound, not me) and also had completely missed out on pain relief so made deal with midwife that would have stitch if dh could go and get the gas out of her car (was labour of not much more than an hour and midwife had arrived 10 mins before dd).

So all in all my perineum must be wrecked! 1 fentons (think that's what it's called) procedure and 3 tears. But all in working order, and apart from the stitches tht were done in hospital no infection ever.

I had a tear to the labia and wasn't given stitches. However, it now occurs to me that this means I am disfigured down there FOREVER!! Is it normal not to stitch you up in those circumstances? It's only aesthetic but seriously??

Second birth was a vbac and the little darling came out with his hand by his throat, so I had a tear which was long but not deep. Midwife would have liked to stitch it up but did not push it when I refused.
It did take around four months or so to heal but that was because I was not allowing it to 'breathe' properly. Once I gave it a good airing it started to heal in no time.