ELective C-section??? don't know what to do...

[sw11mumofone]

Hi all, I'm sure there have been threads about this before but I would like to see if anyone can share their opinions with me anyway. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with DC2. I have a DD who is 2 and 2 months. My first birth was awful. I don't want to bore everyone with loads of details, but in short, I was induced at 42 +2. I had 18 hours worth of the gel which caused me a lot of pain and at the end of that I hadn't dilated even a cm. I was then induced by drip (the highest dose as nothing was happening). I was told I had to have an epidural due to the amount of drip. The epidural failed. They tried to re-site it. That failed. Two hours later they took it out and did it again. That failed. So I ended up with 18 hours of maximum drip with no pain relief. My contractions were lasting 90 seconds, with 10 seconds in between for the last 6 hours. Hideous. She then got stuck and I ended up with a ventouse delivery 42 hours after I started. I was so traumatised by the birth and by then being stuck straight on the post natal ward and my husband being sent home, that the first few months are a blur. I sobbed through a lot of it. I then suffered from PND at 9 months and a counsellor related the majority of it to post traumatic stress from the birth.
So - what to do this time. i just can't go through that again. But at the same time I also don't love the idea of a c-section. I like the idea of the control but the thought of being cut open when i'm awake and then the recovery after terrifies me. However, if I chance a natural birth again I'm petrified a potential epidural wouldn't work again if I needed one and that i'd end up traumatised yet again.

I went back to the hospital for the first time since the birth to do my 12 weeks scan. When I arrived at the maternity unit I could barely breathe - it brought back so many hideous memories that all I could feel was panic welling up inside me. I do have an appointment with a consultant in a couple of weeks to discuss my options, but feel if I don't go in there with my mind made up they''ll just push me into a natural birth again.
I just don't know what to do. Can anyone share any similar experiences? thanks and sorry for the long post!

I can't disagree, my birth by Elective CS (DC2) was very relaxed, radio on, anaesthetist took photos of us in the theatre. I was up and about quickly and driving again in a couple of weeks.

It's still major abdominal surgery even when it's planned. None of mine were crash sections.

Hi everyone,

I am in a similar situation to you sw11. Because of our complicated history i have also been given the option of an Elective CS. i am very anxious that our baby arrives in the safest way possible..and so very tempted to go ahead with the consultant's recommendation. I am not worried about missing out on a natural birth, have always had a huge fear of VB anyway and i am more concerned that the baby arrives safe.

Despite this i am still petrified of the idea that it is major surgery - everyone around me (including mother and mother-in-law who both had 3 c sections) think i am crazy not to attempt Natural VB with an epidural first, as its the 'way nature intended it'. but i'm concerned of the increased risks associated with an Emergency CS

Also midwifes keep telling me that having a 2nd or 3rd baby is a risk after a c section and we had to have IVF to concieve so worried this will hinder our chances of a 2nd or 3rd IVF attempt? Does anyone know anything about this?
Would love to hear from anyone with advice or experiences of an ECS....pros / cons

Hi SW11
Having thought I would definitely want a vbac throughout my pregnancy, am currently 37 weeks and dithering about which way to go.
Have a thread entitled VBAC? where I have listed the pros and cons form my point of view.
I think it is a good idea to try and keep an open mind and remember that you can make your decision nearer the time based on the information you will have closer to the event.
Good luck!

Hi SW11

Your first birth sounds nightmarish, I'm not surprised you want to do everything possible to avoid a repeat.

I've actually wanted a VB both times, but DD was breech, so I had an EMCS for her (but it was very calmly and efficiently carried out and I recovered very quickly) and my desire for a VBAC this time has been thwarted by my perfectly positioned LO having no desire to make the final dive, so I'm booked in for an ELCS tomorrow.

Yes, CS is major surgery, but my experience of it thus far has been good and the amount of trauma I experienced was non-existent and the physical recovery was a hell of a lot quicker than your mental recovery from your VB. So while surgery is certainly not a walk in the park, if your anxiety levels about another traumatic VB are giving you too much stress, I would suggest you opt for an ELCS.

There are pros and cons to all birthing choices and of course the risks need to be weighed up - the main thing is that you feel in charge of what's happening to you this time.

Good luck

Hi

I had ELCS with both DC. DD was diagnosed breech at 39 weeks with no chance if turning her. With DS I begged my consultant!

Both were great experiences, I was nervous sure, but I didn't find them at all traumatic.

Do you have any specific concerns or questions? I'd be happy to answer either here or via PM

I have a question for you if that's ok Havinganoffday: wondering how old was your first child when you had the second? and how did you cope with caring for both following ELCS?

mumofone I understand your dilemma I had a long drawn out labour with my ds that resulted in lots of stitches and wasn't looking forward to repeating the experience with dc2. In addition with dc2 they discovered that I had a large fibroid right above my cervix that potentially could have blocked the way out. My consultant wanted me to try a natural birth and have a back up emcs if baby got stuck or distressed due to the blocked way out - I wasn't happy with this approach it felt far too risky and stressful for all concerned so I pressed for an elcs. He was reluctant to agree but when I was able to show that I understood all the risks and downsides of the operation he agreed - which was a relief.

I had my elcs 6 days ago and my darling dd was safely delivered in a calm stress free procedure. I was nervous about the spinal anaestic and the pain that I would have afterwards but my experience has been very positive. The procedure was pain free, afterwards I was kept well topped up with some lovely drugs and whilst it was painful it was manageable. I'll be honest I found days 2&3 painful and by then I was just on paracpetamol and ibrofen but every day it got easier to move about and the pain is definitely no worse than my stitches from dc1. I'm now on day 6 post op my suture was removed yesterday and I don't feel that I need any painkillers today which is amazing. To put this into context with dc1 post stitches I was still in terrible pain more than 2 weeks post birth.

Overall I wouldn't be scared of asking for an elcs as my experience has been very positive, however I do have a wonderful husband and mother who are literally doing everything in the house and as my ds is 8 he's not expecting to be picked up and cuddled like a toddler/young child might.

Hi Op

I am also swinging between Vb and elc, as I have been offered one due to the emotional trauma of my first birth, nothing went wrong, everything was " textbook" but the not knowing and literally - every single friend of mine bar one - having everything that can go wrong, go wrong.....it was too much.

Fearing birth is not irrattional because things do go wrong and we all know they do. We know its not just a group of women wanting to scare people and glorify thier nasty expereince. We all know people where things have gone very wrong.

I am weighing up risks of ELC, I am aware I could be one of the unlucky ones whose bowl gets nicked or baby damaged, but by the same token, the same could happen vaginally.

Something in my brain is more comfy with being cut across stomach than legs akimbo being sliced down below.

I was one of the lucky ones - I didnt have to " fight" for my ELC, I had a meeting with a consultant who is also part of the birth trauma association,

so this enlgightened lovely woman said its imperitve for me to feel in charge of the situation this time round and if that means choosing an ELC she is behind me!

I feel so sorry for the ladies who have to go to physcatrists to prove something one way or another so someone else can give the go ahead on how they emit a baby from thier own body.

I think forcing anyone who is scared of giving birth to give birth is medieval barbarity.

Hi

DD turned 4 two weeks before DS was born.

We kept her in full time childcare for about six weeks after DS was born, for her sanity as well as ours!

Really though I was up and about quite quickly and driving 3 weeks post op.

Sorry to hear you had such a traumatic 1st birth SW11. I also had a traumatic 1st birth (you can search my posts on here for the details) and had an ELCS for my second. I did have to fight for the ELCS but once it was agreed to, my pregnancy become much easier (could sleep at night, no palpitations, no breaking down/panic attacks).

Megal is right that CS carries with it the risk of complications but for me, the decision to have ELCS was easy because you get clear unequivocal information about the risks of various complications happening to you. The most they could say to me about another VB was "2nd babies are usually easier but there are no guarantees". It was the risk of the unknown versus known assessable risk of complications which helped me decide. I just couldn't risk an experience like the 1st one, at any cost.

My ELCS was wonderful. Calm, joyful, DH really enjoyed it too after seeing the hell I went through 1st time round. Recovery was SO MUCH EASIER than my VB, I never needed morphine in hospital, had a week of diclofenac when I came out and just stuck to the rules about not lifting/over-exerting. It was an absolute walk in the park compared to VB recovery (and 2 female Dr friends of mine have chosen CS over VB for the easier and quicker recovery ).

Also, I note your nickname, are you at St Thomas's or St Georges? I got an awful consultant at Georges for my 1st ELCS request (something like Mr Chandrahan, small Asian man) but got mine approved on my 2nd opinion after a lovely midwife referred me to someone more pro CS.

Can i ask the ladies who had Elective C sections - how long did you have to stay in the hospital? And do you think you can be let out early if you had the support of family? My husband is taking 2 weeks paternity leave, and mum and sister have said they would stay with us to look after me and baby while i recover, so that i could hopefully leave the hospital sooner. I dread the idea of staying alone on a ward after the birth, when i should be at home with baby surrounded by my DH and family...

raphbec i've just had my elcs last week and I allowed to go home on day three, had dd on Thursday morning and was home by Saturday tea time. I only actually spent 2 nights in hospital one on the post operative maternity unit (fab just like the ritz) and one on the main maternity ward (ok but more of a travel lodge experience). As long as you can show that you're mobile, baby is feeding, and there are no blood pressure/temperature contraindications they are happy to let you go home. I found moving about my own home and sleeping in my own bed so much better than the hospital. I'm having loads of help from dh and dm so no issues of doing housework etc for me, and I would say that help is essential. Overall I'm pleased I requested elcs as the ladies who ended up with emcs had a much tougher time than me post operativatively. I'm day 6 post op today and I haven't felt that I need my
painkillers today - just paracpetamol and I'm feeling fine. I think you will find that my stay was more or less the minimum you have to remember that it is major abdominal surgery with risks to bowel and bladder so you have to be observed for a day or so until the hospital is sure that everything is working ok, it was pointed out to me that problems are easier to solve when you're an in-patient.

Thanks Boggler & congratulations on your baby x

I had ELCS at lunchtime weds & was home by lunchtime on Friday. TBH I'd have stayed longer if they'd let me as I had more time with DS there than I did at home!

Forgot to add that I feel as if I've loads more energy compared to the natural brth, probably due to the fact that I didn't have to endure a 3 day labour!

I had an emcs on a Thursday lunchtime and was discharged the Friday evening. Still surprised they discharged me so quickly!

"Forgot to add that I feel as if I've loads more energy compared to the natural brth, probably due to the fact that I didn't have to endure a 3 day labour! "

tHIS IS something I am hoping will happen to me, starting with a newborn after three nights of no sleep and then one night of labour was awful, then another night of no sleep with teh new born in hospital on a noisy ward! I had to get home to simply let Dh take over and let me sleep!

I am looking forward to being fresh and starting from a fresh state, not a long tortured one,...hopefully....

I had a hideous first birth and about a month of agony afterwards, not to mention DD being born with overlapping skull plates (that's how squeezed her head was ). Then, I had an ElCS with next pregnancy. It was the best decision I ever made. Short, uneventful birth, unharmed baby DS, and relaxed happy mummy with lady bits intact

First day was hard (to be expected) but I got up that night and walked to the toilet. The next day was OK - I had two paracetamol tablets. And on the 3rd day I was fine - no pain medication, no problems down below, picking up my newborn baby myself.

Have an ElCS. That would be my vote

"When I arrived at the maternity unit I could barely breathe - it brought back so many hideous memories that all I could feel was panic welling up inside me."

I totally sympathise with this, btw. Exactly the same thing happened to me.

I had thought the trauma of that first birth was behind me, but setting a foot in that hospital brought it all back. It was like getting in a car for the first time after surviving a crash.

it's still early days. maybe wait and see how you feel in a few weeks or months.

your first experience sounds awful. i don't have much to add to that but if you are worried about having a CS then don't. after several problems and attempts at natural labour i've had 3 CS. 1 EMS, 1 planned but turned EMCS and 1 CS. i was awake through all 3 and can honestly say the 1st 2 were absolutely fine. The recovery was also ok as i had plenty of help from dh and family. My 3rd CS was a bit harder being my 3rd and me being older (something to consider if you are planning on more children).

i know a CS feels really scary but it doesn't hurt, you just feel lots of pushiing and tugging. maybe in your case it would take some of the anxiety away and allow you to enjoy your pregnancy.

it's still early days. maybe wait and see how you feel in a few weeks or months.

your first experience sounds awful. i don't have much to add to that but if you are worried about having a CS then don't. after several problems and attempts at natural labour i've had 3 CS. 1 EMS, 1 planned but turned EMCS and 1 CS. i was awake through all 3 and can honestly say the 1st 2 were absolutely fine. The recovery was also ok as i had plenty of help from dh and family. My 3rd CS was a bit harder being my 3rd and me being older (something to consider if you are planning on more children).

i know a CS feels really scary but it doesn't hurt, you just feel lots of pushiing and tugging. maybe in your case it would take some of the anxiety away and allow you to enjoy your pregnancy.

I had a difficult first birth (induction, partially failed epidural, post epidural headache) and have just had an ELCS last week. Different situation though as I didn't choose to have ELCS due to birth trauma - DD was breech and couldn't be turned due to low fluid. I can't help much with the specific decision therefore but I can say what my experience of ELCS was...

The actual birth was calm and joyful, we saw DD being lifted out (they lowered the screen), had our own music, pretty much immediate skin to skin, DD stopped crying as soon as she was in my arms, breastfed in recovery. My bonding with DD was instant and I was clear headed and not exhausted. Was on a total high for about 12 hours afterwards. For me personally I found the recovery initially quite tough to be completely honest. I found the first few days pretty painful. BUT it is brief - it is amazing how quickly your body heals. Try and get as much pain relief as possible!

10 days on, I really feel a lot better. I was discharged after 48 hours but have had a lot of help at home (DH and DM) as I also have a very lively 2 year old!

Good luck with your decision - my advice would be to talk to as many people as possible - maybe supervisor of midwives, consultant, anaesthetist. Would a home birth or birth centre be an option at all? This is what I was going for if DD hadn't been breech - as I didn't want the hospital environment/interventions if at all possible.

If you have a CS my top tips would be to get as much help as possible, especially for the first week or so, and to take it easy (as well as humongous pants ). Hope either way you have a much better experience this time.

"When I arrived at the maternity unit I could barely breathe - it brought back so many hideous memories that all I could feel was panic welling up inside me."

me too - going back and seeing the lifts ,...set me off - i remebered getting out of the car clinging onto the tens machine which was useless by this point.... and what a mammoth effort that was, then saw a man waiting with a wheelchair and thanking heaven that was for me, that jounrey in the lifts - thinking the pain couldnt get worse, the cheery mw asking me what i wanted for the pain, batting me off epidural, gas and air - pethadine then - simply a descent into the worst pain i could never have imagined. it went on and on and on, never ending hours on end....and when you thought it couldnt get worse - it got a whole lot more intense and worse! no thanks!

sw11

also agree with prior preparaton, i am booking in a temp cleaner for the weeks subsequent - starting to stock up on freezer foods now - dh will have paternity + another two weeks of hols to take....dog is going to another relative for a week.....etc etc....

bTW if you have a chanel called " really" there is a program on a saturday called maternity ward - its in amercia and they have loads of sections on there. when i first watched was very sqeamsih but now - have seen so many i am de sensitised to it.

My first birth was very similar to yours - except 48 hr labour and not allowed epidural because not enough time gap between contractions. Agony. Ended up with double incontinence and having to have electric shocks where the sun don't shine.

I didn't pause for a minute in going for elective. It was bliss. Relaxed. Two male gay nurses taking the mic throughout, and loved it. 20 seconds of nausea at one point that they quickly relieved, and that was the extent of the discomfort. Recovery very quick too.