My MIL announced that no one has ever taken more than a week to recover from a C section

[Billy11]

Sorry bit of a rant...my mother in law is trying to convince my and hubby that all ladies within a week of a c section should be up and running and do all the housework and i am a big exaggerator for having my mum come and stay from abroad for 8 weeks.
She sais my spd is something everyone gets and i should stop bothering my husband and stop worrying him and get over myself....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

This is a woman who claimed she alsmost died during her urinary tract infection when we were abroad!!

Perhaps get your MW to chat to your husband, and then tell your MIL to fuck off?

Please ignore her.

Yes you may feel ok after a week, I did with section number 2 but you must be so careful, its major abdominal surgery, and something as simple as hoovering could do you some real damage!

And spd is not something everyone gets, its common but painful as fuck! after carrying two babies in quick sucession my hips still ache, now pregnant with dc3 4yrs after dc2 and its back already at 16wks.

Take care, rest, enjoy your new baby and having your mum stay, ignore mil :)

Oh dear, are you a bad, bad lady for worrying her precious son? How very dare you

Tell her to fuck right off.

So she has had major abdominal surgery herself? Your DH needs to tell her to cram it with walnuts.

I think there is a breed of women of a certain age who absorbed every last drop of the vile misogyny and callousness that dominated culture during their formative years.

I had one like this who thought the sight of me trying to drag myself upstairs to our flat when I came home following gallbladder surgery was hysterically funny. When exH and I got in the door she whipped him off to the kitchen so he could help her prepare dinner or some such stupid thing, leaving me to hoist 2yo DD1 onto my bed and change her nappy as she had just pooped, and of course since I was home I was clearly well able to manage a toddler who loved to roll around and sometimes kick when having herself changed. It took me nearly 15 minutes.

Lo and behold, two years later exMIL had her gallbladder removed and for months afterwards all anyone heard about was the agony she had been in, how impossible it was to climb the stairs, bend over, pick up anything heavier than her handbag.. what a cow.

yeah ive been wanting her to generally fuck off for the last 5 years of my marriage...but been biting my tongue to keep the peace...but i aint got no patience this time round...after saying she wont come for the birth she is now imposing herself for a week just cuz my mum is coming...there is gonna be some drama in the house...hope my hub doesnt start siding with her cuz that would really hurt me...but i would tell him to fuck right off as well this time

Hoho. Tell her from me it takes six weeks and that is just to be able to sit up in bed without winceing, not dancing or running! (Don't be alarmed most recover quicker than that and that was cs2, #1 much easier) Anyway, not much that can be done about her unfortunately i guess. As long as,your DH is fully informed of how sore it is!

Assume MIL is a member of the medical profession...?

Give her a leaflet or printed out info sheet about sections. Highlight any info about average recovery times and ask her to find where it says "it only takes one week."

Then tell her to keep her beak shut if she can't say anything useful.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

She is mad.

She sounds like my friends MIL, who told her DS to stop 'spoiling' her when she was pregnant because he was asked to walk the dog!

Oh yes, she's absolutely right. We are all just milking it..

Ignore, ignore, ignore and try not to kill her

Stupid bitch!
Show her this thread.

It takes a minimum of 6 weeks. Longer to be absolutely 100%.

That said with each cut the recovery has been quicker (biazarrly).

I havea laparotomy 2 years pre DC and recovery from that was longer than the C section despite the fact they went back in through the same scar for my 1st CS.

I think because weare mums and women we do just get on with it because quite frankly we have to. I was driving sooner than I should have been and pushing my pram because I wanted to but really should not have been doing any of this.

She sounds a bitch. The chances are you may be up and running sooner than 6 weeks but it is major abdominal surgery and 6 weeks is the minimum really. You also need to factor in normal new mummy hormones, tiredness - not just new mummy lack of sleep tiredness but your body repairing itself tiredness as well as adjusting to mothrhood. You dont need an evil silly bitch like her hanging around so I would be inclined to tell her to fuck off for the first 12 weeks.

My MIL was a sick evil bitch about my CS too. She locked herself in the guest bedroom of our house crying because we (DH and Me) were being evil and treating her like a skivvy. She threw the irnonhg pile at me because DH asked her to some some ironing, called me lazy and said she came to help with the baby not a lazy new mum.

All she wanted was the baby - me the now obsolete baby incubator could fuck off and stop being overdramatic and lazy.

Your MIL sounds scarily similar. Get ontop of this now because when the exhaustion and hormones start playing silly beggars its not so easy.

"I think there is a breed of women of a certain age who absorbed every last drop of the vile misogyny and callousness that dominated culture during their formative years."

What a great point I have never thought of this. I would love a phsycologist to tell us why MIL can turn on DIL esp at time of birth.

Is it a jealously that they want thier sons child?

I am surprised she said a weeks recovery! That long?

As others have said i would challenge her HEAD on for her medical evidence on this - give her leaflets and ask her if they are lying for some reason?

My MIL had me cleaning days after birth, my back has never recovered from hooovering stairs. She also said I was making a fuss after ONE day of sitting down with a migrane.

This - was not only after my DD birth - my 1st child BUT most HORRIFICALLY.....days after burying my beloved brother!!! I went into labour the day after the funeral!

This time round they dont even know I am pregnant. I cant sacrifice my health and happiness any longer for the miserable cow.

I bet you even want an anaesthetic when they operate you big drama queen!

You could point out that your life expectancy is significantly longer than hers because medical advances now recognises the stress that these kind of procedures have on the body, so she'll hopefully probably be dead in a few years

Or, you could just tell her to f$$k off !!

tell her to fuck the fuck off then fuck off some more the insensitive cow !!!!!

I've never taken more than a week to get back to normal. After dc2 I was doing a 4 mile school run on the bus and on foot and normal housework, chores etc.

Now I've had experience of easy emcs recovery twice now. Do I think that my experience is the norm? Not a fucking chance. It takes each woman the time it takes her. There's no should about it.

And even though I was fine both times and in no pain, I still wasn't internally healed for at least 6 weeks. That's just biology.

Your mil is either thick, cruel or both.

Hahaha a week how very dare you !!
My grandparents came to visit me 2 weeks after my 2nd section and called me dirty and disgusting because I hadn't hoovered my car out !! A few choice words were swapped after that one !! People just have no idea do they take as long as you need to recover, there's no set time you go at your own pace !!

I don't think it is a case where you have to prove your case to your mother in law (although it may be worth explaining things to your husband) I think she knows exactly how it is like, and is just being catty and manipulative.

I have had experience of these kind of people in my life for several years now, and I continue to receive undermining treatment from them, in every shape or form - If I am tired, I 'look great', if I have just come home from hospital, tired out and in pain, after a cesarean, 'you look so well, when I had my cesarean I looked crap' and so forth - and that's the least of it.

Its just little, petty, irritating stuff that can do your head in if you try to see any logic behind it..

These kind of people have their own insecurities, and seek attention and sympathy through undermining others in this way - they may have controlling/dominant personalities, and may also be jealous of the relationship between you and your spouse (or simply just jealous of you) and well, I may be reading too much into your post, but this is what I have experienced!

I just avoid making a fuss or talking/listening to them for any great length of time, to avoid conflict and avoid hearing any rubbish! I would love to be able to give cutting but humorous answers in return but can never think of anything to say at the time!

I don't think anyone should have to reason with a person like this either.

'I'm sorry you feel that way' is a vaguely rude statement you can make that tells her off without dignifying any of her ignorant remarks.

However, it is vital to sit your H down and tell him in detail what is going to happen to you and how long it will take you to recover, as well as what hands-on help you will need from him and from well-intentioned people like your mother.

(Hopefully, you have sorted items like feeding pillows, ice packs and other godsends.)

Did your MIL have a baby about 30 years ago? Ask her what sort of delivery she had? It was common to stay in for 4 days with a straightforward delivery and unheard of to be let out before 10 days with a CS.

Alternatively, learn to stop your ears, now. I speak from experience of a difficult MIL, whatever you do, you are in the wrong. If you had been super-duper active she would have told you off for not getting enough rest. And then she won't approve of your child-rearing methods...

Hahaha

maybe you could show her the following:
I had a c section
Sent home following day
5 days later my wound conpletely dehisced and i caught my own insides in my hand
Was blue lighted into a&e
Second operation
Weeks later wound opened again due to MRSA infection
Couldnt walk properly for 2 months
Still have pain, bowel problems and PTSD almost 3 years on.

Tell her to stick that in her pipe and smoke it!