When do things get better? My body is a wreck and so am I

[McPhee]

I had my gorgeous daughter via C-section 9 days ago, and I feel fecking dreadful. My pregnancy was crap, and full of a lot of stress, so I didn't really expect to still be feeling crap now . My bleeding is still bright red and shows no signs of slowing down. Infact sometimes I flood a towel within half an hour. On top of that, the maternity towels have made me blister, so I'm red raw. My mum went and got me some different ones, but it's made no difference. I've not used sanitary towels since I was a teen, because I can't stand the feeling.

Then, three days ago, my feet and ankles blew up. Thankfully my lovely GP came out to see me and has prescribed water tablets and some very fetching compression stockings. So, after having had SPD during my pregnancy, it's still painful to walk because of my feet . I can't win.

If you're still reading, bear with me because I've not quite finished whining

My boobs hurt like a mother. And I'm convinced Dd was born with a razor blade in her tongue. I'm really struggling with the feeding now, and it started off really well. I just can't seem to get the latch properly, so she ends up just sucking my nipple. I mostly hit the ceiling when that happens. One of the breast feeding support workers is coming out to see me tomorrow, but in the meantime, I'm in agony.

And as if that wasn't enough, I now think my section wound might be infected because it's been weeping and smells a bit yuck! But I'm going to call my GP in the morning to see if I can get another home visit. I'm pretty sure I will need antibiotics.

SO......

When will all this get better please

Soon! And bit by bit. Get the latch sorted. Go to a baby cafe or call LLL or a clinic if your hospital has one and keep going back until it is sorted. It takes time and use lansinoh in the meanwhile.

Lochia I had for at least 6 weeks am afraid but it gets less over time. Try natracare pads as they are organic and not bleached.

Didn't have a cs but can't help there or with feet. Sorry.

Sorry for brevity too. Just off to bed but didn't want you to feel alone. First month to six weeks are very hard but it gets better. Must so as am cooking number 2 despite all that!

Good luck and get help with the BF. Hang in there.

pump and bottle feed or mix feed...there is way too much pressure on women for breastfeeding...a happy mum is a good mum!

Tonight why not try laid back BFing? (If you haven't already.) Get comfy lying back on the sofa or your bed, with your weight supported. Then lie baby on your chest on her tummy. Ideally take your top off and have baby in just her nappy. Your baby will hopefully move towards one of your breasts -guided by smell- and latch on herself. All you need to do is lie your arm across her back with your hand on her bum to stop her falling off. This lets her follow her instincts and lets you stay comfy. It really worked for us when we had similar problems to you. I found the 'wait till she opens her mouth and then shove your boob in' approach didn't work for us at all and caused me a lot of pain.

It could take a while to get over everything so you need to be as lazy as possible and accept help! But one day soon you'll wake up and all the niggles will be gone.

Oh, and make sure to take your painkillers like clockwork. Write down a schedule if that helps. I was on paracetemol, ibuprofen and dihydracodeine for a while!

Congratulations on your daughter!

Congratulations on your new baby DD mcphee. I think you should repost about breastfeeding on the breast and bottle feeding topic as there are some really experienced women who can help you.

Has she been checked for tongue tie?

Morning.

She was checked over by the paed before we were discharged, but I've noticed that under her tongue she's got a white lump of skin. It's hard to describe, but it looks very much like a skin tag. I'm going to have to get the dr out today to check me, so I'm hoping she'll be able to have a quick look.

Last nights feeding was a bit better, but only a bit

Thanks for the tip about posting on feeding, I think I'll do that now.

I hope you feel better soon. The one thing I'll be doing differently next time is giving my body time to heal and not feeling I should be in M&S food hall 5 days after a forceps delivery which resulted in me sobbing with the pain that evening.

It's normal to need time to recuperate and generally feel awful after everything your body has been through.

Not sure what TT looks like but they'll definitely be able to help on feeding pages.

McPhee- I feel your pain. Reading your post reminded me of my experience. I was a wreck when I got home. Could barely move without help let alone bf for the first time. I do remember it being the hardest thing I've ever done. Honestly, it was not the baby blues. It wasn't til 3 weeks after leaving hospital that a midwife read my notes and informed me I'd lost so much blood during birth I was anemic and I needed to up my iron. Bf was like torture at times. 3am was the worst as I felt so alone. My latch was the problem and I came across a fantastic support group in my area where I learned to do it less painfully. Also wonderful to chat to other mums that were suffering too. Getting over this hurdle really helped. Is there a group in your area? I was able to get a home visit. Try: Association of bf mothers- am.me.uk,

BFN (breastfeeding network) 0300 100 0210 - breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk. BFN should put you in touch with a local support worker.
La Leche league 0845 120 2918, laleche.org.uk,
NCT breastfeeding helpline 0300 330 0771, nct.org.uk.

Hope this helps and you come through it.

It's 4 weeks tomorrow since my section and I think the first 2 weeks are the worst. I'm still bleeding but very very lightly. Need pain killers maybe every second day, usually if I've been walking around the shops or something. If anything I'm finding it frustrating that I feel ok but can't drive/Hoover etc (am following the guidelines very strictly as I think it'll be better in the long run). Am also dying to get out of track suits/PJs but find anything tighter irritates the scar. All in all feeling good though.

BFing is a separate matter to the section and also gets easier. The latch is toe curling for about 2 weeks, then it's a bit site esp if your boobds are full, now it's totally fine. Do whatever you need, nipple shields, pumping etc to get you through and just don't expect to be back to normal. Try to enjoy time off from life!

are all these elc or emcs?

I can't add much else to the good advice, but I do remember that with my DD it took 2 wks of agony, nipple cream, repeated latch checking and perseverence for breastfeeding to become easier/comfortable, and it was almost like a switch was flicked. Until that time, I would literally grimace & curl my toes in pain. However, suddenly, it was good, easy even, and after that we happily breastfed for 9+mths.

It does get easier. You're tired, sore, baby blues/hormones still lurking & there's so much to take on board, all new, but it gets better. Good luck & congrats on your DD.

McPhee!!! was hoping to catch up and see how you're doing?!

My lochia lasted a few weeks but if you keep getting through pads so quickly speak to MW. You are still 'under their care' for 2 weeks post partum. Call your post natal ward.

BF is tough in the first few weeks. Sometimes it felt like someone had poured salt in an open cut it stung so much. Have you tried lanisoh? Check your latch with your MW or a lact consultant. Might also be worth getting mw to check for tongue tie. Dd's was quite severe when she was born and feeding was really hard. We got it snipped at 5 days old and the feeding was better almost immediately.

Re poss infection. This happened to me. I noticed the smell after about 10 days and the mw came for the final discharge visit I mentioned it. Prepare yourself....she asked to smell my sanitary pad!!! I kid you not! I know you lose all dignity when having a baby but that was a real low point!! I ended up back in hosp for 3 nights on IV antibiotics. DD got to come with me. Pls get it checked out. Id call the post natal ward again for this. Don't wait for a GP appt. If it is an infection and you catch it early enough you can just have oral ab's. My scar didn't weep (until they took the stitches off) so it was only when the lochia started smelling, it had got really bad.

I hope you get yourself sorted soon. You've had a tough time over the last few weeks. It does get better...I promise!

I had the GP out yesterday and she checked the scar, and yes it's gross! I've been prescribed Flucloxacillin, and the midwife is coming out on Thursday to check it again. What doesn't help is my gorgeous overhang which is keeping it moist

The feeding has kind of improved over the last few days. Possibly because more of my milk has come in, so she's got no choice but to open her mouth wider so she can get a better latch. There's still the 10 second toe curl, but that actually disappears now rather than continuing. I've got that Lanisoh cream, and it's been a god send!! The breast feeding support worker came out yesterday to weigh Dd, and she's put on 120g since Saturday, bringing her weight back up to 7lb 13oz. So nearly back up to birth weight now

As for the bleeding, that was next to nothing yesterday for some reason. Too early to tell what today will be like.

Oh and still no bugger has got me my flipping Egg Mcmuffin , so thanks for the virtual one

so glad your recovering and getting sorted, now your on antibitoics should clear up - did you have ELC or emergncy?

Sounds like you're getting back on track.

Great news about the bf. The toe curl first 10 secs is a bit of a screamer eh?!

Yes, the overhang doesnt really let the air circulate!! It will go down but I think my bikini wearing days are sadly over :-(

Hope Molly is sleeping well for you. And you've managed to get out and about a bit (weather doesn't help!).

It ended up being an emergency section, but not one they needed to hurry for iukwim? It was only because after 5 inductions, I was contracting but not dilating. I was getting distressed and exhausted, so it was decided to bring baby out of the sunroof.

The midwife called today just to check how we were doing, and is coming out on Thursday to have a look at my scar. If the antibiotics aren't making any difference then a swab will be taken. The trouble is that I can't actually see it because of the gorgeous flap of skin . She also wants to check Mollys belly button because it still attatched and showing no signs of budging. I might have to put some powder on it apparently. Can you remember how long it took for your babys cords to detach? I have to admit to have a little fiddle every now and then, to see if I can dislodge it . I probably shouldn't, but it's like looking at a nasty pork scratching!!

Making you hungry!?!! (sorry...'tasteless' joke!)

Dd's belly button was on for about 2 weeks I think. I just opened her nappy one morning and it was lying in her nappy. I cried!! In my head, i was thinking about it being the last part of what 'connected' her to me....Sentimental, hormonal moo!

I read about someone who was changing her dc during the night in dim light and yanked what she thought was the nappy tab. Wasn't!! Poor little bugger got their belly button ripped off. She said she cried more than dc!! Don't be tempted McPhee!

Have you tried a mirror for seeing your scar. I got dp to take a photo on his iPhone so I could see it!

Mil knocked my DD cord off - accidenlty but now of course see it as a very symbolic sign.

hi there, I only have one piece of advice really: bottle feed at least once or twice a day to yourself a break. You can do mixed feeding! Or simply make a decision to switch to formula altogether. The relief will be immense. I know it's disappointing - I've been there. I tried and tried with breastfeeding with my firstborn. He lost a tonne of weight and we were both miserable. In the end I had no choice but to put him on formula, and neither of us looked back. With my second baby, I tried again; once again, i wasn't producing enough milk, so we started formula early doors. I have no regrets. Not everyone is cut out for breastfeeding. Formula is wonderful, literally life saving stuff. Do whatever you need to, to get through this really challenging period.

I've managed to express a bit over the last few days, and I've introduced one bottle of Aptamil. Although this seems to make her very windy, so I'm tending to give it in the middle of the day rather than at night. I made that mistake a few days ago, and she screamed for two hours post bottle. I'm hoping someone will take me out today so I can invest in a couple of Dr Browns bottles.

The bleeding has slowed down too. I had the midwife out yesterday, and she had a look at my scar. It's still weeping, even though I'm on antibiotics. So, she's suggested I may need a further course, and to call my Gp on monday to arrange that.

Dd cord stump came off finally!!

Glad you're feeling more positive.

A daytime bottle is better than night as it'll interfere with your milk production far less. Well done for persevering with the BF - it isn't the be all and end all but it can feel that way when you're struggling!

perhaps you can get that McMuffin while you're out?