Can I insist on leaving hospital?

[CakesnKids]

Ive changed my name as I have friends on here that dont fully know all of this.

This is completly hypothetical, I would like another child in the future but if I cant work out my issues from my 2 previous births I have to let go of that. (BTW, I know I wouldnt be allowed a home birth because of my medical history and dh wouldnt really be happy with that either.

After birth (in a hospital on account of difficult pregnancies and consultant led care) can I insist I leave hospital and not go down to the post natal ward? Obviously providing there are no problems with the birth?

The other question, which I think I know the answer to, but just want some reassurance. After dd2's birth I wanted to bf, but it wasnt working, I was feeling pressured dd2 hadnt fed for 6ish hours and the mw was saying I couldnt go home until they had seen me feed her. It would have been so much easier if I had just gone home and been alowed to sleep and come back to it 'fresh faced'. instead I wasnt 'allowd' to bf feed her and 'had' to bottle feed. when I got home and then when my milk came in I wanted to express and feed her 1-2 breast milk feed a day (better than nothing i thought) I struggled to get any milk out and now 5 months on realise I probably had a trapped duct or something, I got no help for the mw who positively discouraged me from doing it :(

I know that if I had just been at home in the first place with my baby alowed to recover and feed in my own bed with my own toilet and npo screaming babies around me I would have been able to bf dd2 like I wanted.

opps, That was more of a rant than a question!

You can leave hospital anytime you like. As long as you are not so mentally ill as to be detainable under the mental health act then no-one can force you to stay.
If staff had concerns about your baby then they may call social services.

I think you can leave whenever you like, but you might have to sign paperwork to say that you have discharged yourself. A few women on my postnatal ward did this, mainly because my hospital was so shite busy that they didn't have time to discharge women and so lots of women were very upset and just wanted to go home.

With DS1 I discharged myself after a week (terrible postnatal care) and it was the best thing I ever did. With DS2 I had a totally uncomplicated birth and DS2 was feeding fine so I chos to leave after six hours and I stayed on the delivery war. There is a minimum six hour discharge but that ws good as I got to have a bath and a small kip. It was calm and totally unstressful.

Yes, you can leave. In fact, most hospitals will send you home nowadays after 6 hours or whatever anyway if you had no complications.

Re the breastfeeding. I went home after 6 hours and DD had not yet feed properly. I had no idea what I was doing but was determined I wanted to ebf. I was very worried I wouldn't be able to figure out the feeding/latch when a lovely midwife (who was also my NCT teacher) told me that there really is time to figure out the feeding as at the start babies are fine with about a teaspoon full of colostrum a day, that's how nutritious it is. I felt much better after that and the breastfeeding sorted itself out in time...We've so far managed 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding!

Got "trapped" in the hospital for 3 days with ds1. Only got on with bf once home.
So with ds2 I said I wanted to go home straight away. Got fobbed off with having to wait for paediatrician check and told to wait on post-natal ward. Got stuck there all day. Kept asking where paed was to constantly be told he was busy. At 5pm we packed up to go as I wanted to put eldest to bed (not been there all day). Paed magically appeared 20 minutes later. Staff all v flustered.
With dd said I was going home straightaway and if paed wasn't available we'd have an appointment please and dh would bring her back in. Paed again not available and wouldn't give me an appointment so refused to move. Both had a sleep in delivery room, dh went to costa for slap-up breakfast and papers and paed appeared around shift change. So probably 4-5 hours after dd born.
Not having another, but if we did I'd be inclined to just thank them for cleaning up the mess and go!

There's no reason to suggest you wont be able to leave within a short timeframe after your labour.

With DS (DC2) I had him at 2pm and was scoffing pizza at my mums by 7pm. I had a straightforward, quick labour and I'd pee'd and showered and was perfectly fine to leave. I'd stated when we went in for the induction at 9:30 that I wanted to go home soon all being well to return to DD and my midwife was perfectly fine with this. She did ask several times before we left "are you sure?" but it was a very quick labour and he was a chunky boy so I think she was just a little over-cautious.

I did have to get DS checked by a GP the next day as he wasn't seen by a paediatrician in the hospital, which was a PITA as I had to register him before getting an appointment, which meant that he and I were stuck in the drs surgery for about 2 hours for all this faff. But hey ho, I got to sleep in my own bed so I was happy!

Thank-you so much! Its good to know I can leave if and when the time comes :o

Please don't think I am attempting to persaude you to have a home birth as a way of avoiding the postnatal ward. Its not a choice for everyone.

At home birth you do not get your baby checked over by a junior doctor paediatrian. My daughter had her newborn check done by a community midwife after being born at home.

If you want to discharge yourself from hospital before seeing the paediatrian prehaps your baby could be examined by one of the community midwives instead.

Really I would love a home birth! With dd1 I thought no way would I ever but after dd2 its looking more and more like a good idea! But with my medical history there is no way in hell I would be allowed one, and more to the point, no way dh would agree! :D

CakesnKids I'm sorry that your medical history rules out a homebirth.

I realise that this might be completely impractical financially, but could you afford an indepedent midwife. I think a qualified midwife would be a better support than a doula if you have complex history.

The lady in this article employed an independent midwife inspite of not being rich.

[[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2128005/Call-private-midwife--sorry-dontt-trust-NHS.html]

You could have a domino delivery. Ie. you stay at home in first stage until the midwife thinks you are ready to go to hospital. The midwife goes to hospital with you and acts like an doula and then you all go home together as soon has you have delivered the placenta. The midwife stays with you at home and makes sure you are OK. The nice thing about an independent midwife is that you would get superb postnatal care.

At 3K this may be an impossible option. I am sorry if I am tactless to suggest a dream solution that is impossible.

I just wanted to add that an inability to express breastmilk may not be a sign of anything - I ebf my daughter until starting solids & I was rarely able to express much, except if she skipped/dropped a feed. I would suggest that you get some support from breastfeeding peer supporters or La Leche League or similar if and when you're pregnant with your next DC to ensure you get as much expert support & advice from the outset. Being relaxed is also important, so fingers crossed you get home soon after too!!

A homebirth might not be right for you, but just wanted to clarify one thing.

It is not up to the hospital, the midwives, or anyone else to 'allow' you to home birth. It is your right (unless sectioned under mental health rules) to choose your own medical treatment.

The reason I think this is important is to bear in mind that, if you are in hospital, you are there voluntarily. You can leave at any time.

Also, with DD1 we were given bullshit about 'having' to stay in as the paed hadn't checked her. DH first told the ward sister that we wanted to get home- and she was glad to get the bed back and chased the doctors. The next step was going to be to explain that we were leaving and it was up to them what checks to do before we left- anything else could be done by the midwife/GP as follow up.

At a home birth baby is checked by midwife and doc visits later (next day!) As long as you are confident that you and baby are well you can sign the discharge papers and go. I would keep telling everyone, including GP, midwives etc this now , over and over, so it's not a surprise!!

You can leave hospital any time you like - THEY make not like it and try
and makeyou stay but you are not a prisoner! I spent a whole day asking to be discharged but apparently no one was available to do it - amazing how quicky someone 'ableto do it' turned up at 8pm when I said I was going home with my husband whatever.

Yes, you can discharge yourself, I did after 3 hours.

I wanted to leave hospital with DS1 and was told that until I had established BFing and both a Dr and a midwife had witnessed it I wasn't going to be allowed home.

No-one came round till later in the day when DS was asleep, so they said I had to stay the night. I kicked up an almighty fuss (well a fairly meek complaint) and said I wanted to leave, but they said if I discharged myself and anything happened to the baby they would treat him but they would not be very pleasant to me.

By the time I finally made a decision they said it was too late to leave (10pm) as they didn't discharge babies at night because its too cold (this was in April )

I discharged myself and then had a total meltdown when DS had lost weight a week later and I nearly had to bring him back in, but my lovely - firm but fair - MW phoned the hospital and said that although he'd lost weight, he was now feeding fine and she wanted to give it a few days before bringing him in.

Suffice to say my next 2 were home births.

I had ds2 at 1.30pm - I was home by 6pm, went from delivery room and never made it to the post natal ward.

I can't honestly remember if he was checked by the paed or not - but they were fine about us not staying and they may well have suggested it as they were hugely understaffed and I had to take ds2 to be checked by the gp a day or two later so I probably had that rather than a doc check him in hospital.

Having said that, I also went down the private midwife route - for a variety of reasons, including the fact the maternity unit i was due to give birth in was voted the worst in the UK just a few months before I was due to give birth there. part of the reason was under staffing - just after i had ds2, they announced that they had taken on 17 new midwives - which sounds a lot but that was just to bring them up to the minimum level of cover they should have had... still didn't leave them with any slack in the system if there were problems.

I don't regret it a bit and nor does dh, even though we didn't have a holiday for a couple of years to fund it (not wealthy!), we both thought it was worthwhile and she was fab - if I'm ever lucky enough to get pg again, I would sign her up again and she would be the second person I told (dh being the first!).

good luck in getting the birth you want if you do ever get pg again!

As far as I am aware the hospital would need a court order to keep you in hospital against your will. They cannot just say it is in your best interest to stay, they actually have to show you are incapable of maing an informed decision. I also think that as you are the parent they have to go through a whole hoopla to keep the child in without parental consent.
If they try to make you keep in, you could allows as which piece of legislation they are using. And if something goes wrong after you leave the hospital, they are not allowed to not treat you or your child, or make it difficult for you to get treatment.

I'll just second the advice that it is up to YOU as to whether or not you plan a homebirth. Not the drs. Not the MWs. Not your DP.

Even if you're high risk.

We left hosp the day DS was born, they wanted me to stay overnight because he was 'prem' (induced at 38+1) but wouldn't allow DH to stay with me. After having just gone through the most physical & emotional thing EVER, why would I want to stay overnight in hospital by myself... so anyway, we left, which was within our rights although you may have to go 'against medical advice'.

They are very trained in talking in ways to convince you to stay though and do what they want you to do.

I also had trouble BF, but I just lied to the person on the ward and said it was going well. Persevered at home (with some hand expressing of colostrum) and got help 2 days after birth from some lovely ladies at a breastfeeding clinic.

Not necessarily recommending the things I did, but I'm happy I did them and although I didn't do what hospital people wanted me to do, at no point did I feel I was putting my baby at risk. I did what felt right.

I gave birth at a birth unit, and was home 4 hours after delivery - the midwife only checked that I had positioning correct for breastfeeding before we left - she didn't actually see baby feed, and she came the next day to check that baby had latched.

(sorry, pressed 'go' too soon!)

...But, looking back I really should have stayed overnight at the very least, as we are still struggling with feeding 11 weeks later, and I really think that had we stayed, it would have been easier.

Sarry BF advice and help in hospital is generally crap, so don't worry too much about getting better advice if you'd stayed. Have you called a local BF helpline or gone to a BF cafe where you could get help? 11w is not to be sniffed at though

No BF cafe here - miles away from any sort of civilisation! I haven't tried a helpline yet, but may do today at some point.

I don't know about the paediatrician checking your baby but if you already have 2 children and have bf before maybe you are confident enough and think you know what you are doing?

I completely agree that it is down to particular midwives whether the baby "feeds properly" or not and it makes you panick and want to get out of hopsital asap!! I remember one telling me that the first feed lasts for at least 6 hours so I was not worried with my next child only to get told that time by another midwife that he "hasn't fed for so many hours" and needed to check glucose etc. I have never seen them making a fuss checking clucose levels at ff babies though So the last time I was in hospital I was panicking to get discharged because of that not bf knowledgable midwife.