Can I insist on leaving hospital?

[CakesnKids]

Ive changed my name as I have friends on here that dont fully know all of this.

This is completly hypothetical, I would like another child in the future but if I cant work out my issues from my 2 previous births I have to let go of that. (BTW, I know I wouldnt be allowed a home birth because of my medical history and dh wouldnt really be happy with that either.

After birth (in a hospital on account of difficult pregnancies and consultant led care) can I insist I leave hospital and not go down to the post natal ward? Obviously providing there are no problems with the birth?

The other question, which I think I know the answer to, but just want some reassurance. After dd2's birth I wanted to bf, but it wasnt working, I was feeling pressured dd2 hadnt fed for 6ish hours and the mw was saying I couldnt go home until they had seen me feed her. It would have been so much easier if I had just gone home and been alowed to sleep and come back to it 'fresh faced'. instead I wasnt 'allowd' to bf feed her and 'had' to bottle feed. when I got home and then when my milk came in I wanted to express and feed her 1-2 breast milk feed a day (better than nothing i thought) I struggled to get any milk out and now 5 months on realise I probably had a trapped duct or something, I got no help for the mw who positively discouraged me from doing it :(

I know that if I had just been at home in the first place with my baby alowed to recover and feed in my own bed with my own toilet and npo screaming babies around me I would have been able to bf dd2 like I wanted.

opps, That was more of a rant than a question!

Its sad that so many people have trouble with this. After my C-section I was in hospital for 3 nights. When they told me I had to stay in for the third night I cried. Apparently though, according to the night staff I was just 'hormonal'. It was of course, nothing to do with their surly manner and couldnt-give-a-crap-about-your-baby mentality. I am in a similar situation to you in that I cant escape a hospital birth next time (it will be a c-section). The thought of the surgery etc is absolutely fine, Im not bothered. The thought of having to stay a single night in that hell hole and be bullied like that again makes me feel sick. Am thinking about borrowing the baby buggy and making some sort of escape attempt ^^

Glad to see I am not the only one who felt the post natal word was horrendous and had severe difficulties in trying to leave!
The only note of caution is that I packed everything up and threatened to leave in a somewhat hysterical manner ( that would be the hormones and no sleep for threes days then) but I'm v glad I got my prescription of painkillers after the Emcs

Go prepared: if you want to leave early you are of course entitled to but do much easier to do so when you have the HCP's support.

With DC4 I was keen to get home ASAP. I had told MWs prior to delivery that was my intention and I also let them know that I would feel far more comfortable and supported at home in my own bed with my DH. I told them DH had got the house ready, that there was a fridge full of food and that 5 mins in my own shower would be bliss.

When it came to do the transfer to the ward I asked if there was any chance of going home and the MW looked a little surprised, I said I'd return if there was any issue but that I felt very uncomfortable with DH going home and leaving me alone (delivered outside visiting hours) so she let us go. Dc was 2.2hrs old and despite feeling a little shaky on the way to the car it was the best decision ever.

Oh and to add DC was an early induction at 36.5 do I had thought the odds were against us but everyone seemed very happy to adopt a common sense approach.

I've not bf before, it just hasn't worked, but I know at home in a relaxed environment it would be easier.

I've broached the subject of a hypothetical home birth with dh and he was shocked, initially said no way, but then agreed to let me ask the question and try and push for one. We agreed it would be easier to say actually I want a hospital birth afterall at 37 weeks than it would be to do it the otherway round.

That night in the hospital I don't think I will ever be able to describe, it was hell on earth. I was crying the mws were stood behind the curtain talking about me but never came in. I was so tired I rejected my precious dd2 :( I hated her and she wasn't even the one keeping me awake she was soundly sleeping. I couldn't remember how to look after a newborn and as I gave birth at 10pm arrived on the ward at 1am I wasn't allowed to have dh stay or come down with me despite other men coming and going all through the night. I've never felt so exhausted. It was horrific, literally hell on earth.

I will not do that again.

O Cakes it sounds like you really suffered. I think it is appalling that your partner wasn't allowed to come and stay.

Although in some ways (particually the BF issue) I think I should have stayed longer at the birth unit, after reading other's posts I do feel grateful that I got to sleep in my own bed that night and walk round in the nude without worrying about anyone looking at me.
I did have to visit the maternity ward at the bigger hospital a few days after the birth (weight loss checked), and when I saw how many women were in one room, up to 12 it looked like, I was very thankful that I'd had my own room and bathroom. I was actually the only woman in the unit when I gave birth!

Didn't realise problems with leaving the post natal ward was so common! Had horrendous experience on post natal ward after birth of DC2 8 weeks ago. MW in charge took instant dislike to me and DH because we said we wanted to leave ASAP and kept hassling to be discharged. Had DC1 that we wanted to get back to and start being a family together. DH and I ended up arguing as he said we were perfectly entitled to just leave but MW made out she would have to call social services if we went without jumping through their hoops. We were both exhausted and just wanted to go home and relax rather than being on stressful post natal ward. Feel like our first 12 hours with new baby were ruined with the shitty MW who did everything possible to obstruct us leaving. I completely lost it when at 4pm, after being told MW was just doing my paperwork and would be in to discharge me, actually found out she had not done my paperwork and had gone home as her shift had ended!

Post natal ward experience alone has put me off wanting another child, not the childbirth!!

What a witch!! Next time I am going to be prepared for some whoop ass if I get the same crap. The thing that annoys me most is I would normally not stand for such shite but just after birth you are so vulnerable... And really, I was fine, but almost had to beg to be released - you would think they would be glad of the beds!!

When DD was born I went into delivery suite at 9.30am she was born at 11.40am
I was stitched & showered, paperwork completed by 2pm and home by 2.15pm

Meant to add, I asked when I could go & midwife said once your showered & ready.
There was the bird flu or swine flu worry at the time & they were only allowing 1person to visit so I was particulary glad to get home do DS could meet hos sister