In two minds about having a home birth

[ViolaCrayola]

I had a horrible hospital induction 1st time around (have posted about this before), now 31 weeks with DC2.

Have been seriously considering a home water birth - have terrible SPD and water really helps. Plus all the other pros about home comforts, privacy, 1-1 care etc.

But I am very unsure that I actually want to have a baby at home! People seem to often be either very definite about home births one way or another, but I just feel undecided. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you decide eventually? Time is running out! :)

I am a home birth midwife. I don't need to give you any pros and cons but it might help if I point out that YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND EVEN IN LABOUR. However, once in the hospital it doesn't work the other way round!

Have you been back to the hospital at all?

I had to go in for an ECV with (breech) DD2 at 38 weeks and was in floods of tears when I found myself waiting in a labour room. It brought back all the bad memories.

That helped to harden my resolve to stay at home.

What mayhew said, 100%.

I also had a horrible hospital induction first time round, and booked a HB for my second. I didn't really expect to actually have DD2 at home but wanted to stay out of hospital as long as possible and to have the choice if I felt I was coping ok. In the end I had her in the bath at home. It was aces.

Book it in, no-one's going to hold you to it or judge you if you go into hospital after all, but it will be your choice and you will be in control. And if it helps, the midwife cleaned the bath afterwards!

I had an induction the first time too.
I went on to have a home birth with my next 2 and an emergency transfer with DC4

DH was a bit unsure about home births, mainly because this was 1995 and it was still quite unusual then.
It was more that I didn't want to be in hospital, than I desperately wanted a home birth. Most of the doctors / consultants (except the midwife) kept trying to persuade me otherwise! I wanted my routine and my home comforts as I just felt awkward and a nuisance in hospital.

In the end I was really glad I had my home births as I was much more relaxed and found them easier, especially afterwards.

Maybe you should talk to more people and your midwife before you decide either way. You are bound to hear from people who have had a bad experience as well as good ones.
It may also depend on how many other home births are booked around the same time as there have to be enough midwives to cover them if you all go into labour at the same time

Have you spoken to other mums in RL who've done it? Ask your MW if they do any info sessions and sometimes NCT do homebirth support groups, & you might get info or ideas that help confirm your resolve one way or another...

FWIW I'm 19wks with #2 & despite not having a horrific time with DD, when the MW mentioned homebirth at my booking-in, it made me think. Last time, I transferred in from home in agony, with DH driving at stupid speeds, 9cm dilated with my waters gone. The stress/anxiety caused by this, I think, slowed things down a bit & it took 2 more hrs for DD to arrive. If I had been 'allowed' to stay in the hospital when I first went in, at 1cm dilated a couple of hrs at most earlier, I feel it might have been easier/quicker/less distressing. As such, homebirth seems the obvious choice, esp if I need to transfer in at a late stage, it'll be under MW-care... Speaking to other mums who'd done it really helped make up my mind. :)

What Mayhew said!!

I also have had two home births that were lovely, and a reasonable hopsital birth.

Thank you so much for the helpful replies. I think I do need to speak to other Mums in RL too. Would discuss with my MW but I always see a different one and the appointments are quite brief.

I think the point about changing my mind even if booked for a HB is a really good one. I just have one little niggle about this - I am worried about transferring to hospital - especially getting down the stairs in my 1st floor flat. It's just one small (private) flight, but with a narrow stairway.

Is this a silly worry? I just have this awful mental picture of being in agony and being somehow carried down there, legs akimbo...!

Also, DS was quite big (8lbs9oz) and had a huge head, but I pushed him out without help, so maybe this should give me confidence rather than make me afraid. I'm about 5-10 mins from local hospital.

Pain and safety, rather than mess and hassle, are the main things I'm worried about. Or rather feeling safe and dealing with the pain - as I know logically that HB is just as safe for 2nd babies, and I don't want an epidural either way...
Sorry for rambling post

I just have this awful mental picture of being in agony and being somehow carried down there, legs akimbo...!

made me sorry

When I was transferred they brought one of those handy carry chairs out of the ambulance. By the time they got it out I had walked to the ambulance.

Think positive, why worry about legs akimbo when you will have had people staring at your fanjo for the last hour or so!

I know it is funny as well as awful.
Thanks you're right - Positive Mental Attitude needed :)

Being so close to the hospital is definitely a bonus and I'm sure the paramedics are well used to dealing with the odd flight of stairs.

I had 2 HBs after a crappy 1st one in hospital. I was quite a way from the nearest hospital but also had mine really quickly so probably wouldn't have made it there and would have ended up having one of those lay-by births!

I still smile when I hear the song that was playing on the radio when I woke up in my own bed snuggling DS2 the morning after he was born. Happy days.

I had a planned homebirth with DC2 after an unplanned one with DC1! I had severe SPD with all 3 pregnancies and found floating in the water excellent for pain and getting into a comfortable position. If you can afford it I would recommend getting a heated pool asap as you will be able to use it to relax in in the coming months. I bought a spa-2-go and had it up in place of the dining table for the last couple of months and used to float around reading trashy magazines every evening. It was ready 24 hours a day and meant I could dip in whenever. DC2 arrived in the pool before the midwife could get there and it was a lovely experience. I kept saying "its so nice to be at home" over and over!

As previous posters have said why not book in for a home birth and you can always change your mind at ANY point between now and baby arriving even mid labour if you like.
For a home birth you have to nominate your transfer hospital so you still get a choice of where to go and your notes will be sent there too just in case so a change of heart a week before your due date would not be a big deal.

Best of luck.

Ok

1. The stairs. If you got your furniture up and down, you should manage.

2.Most transfers I have done, the woman has chosen to walk a short distance downstairs.

1. There is time to get some clothing on, even if its a dressing gown and slippers.
2. If you pushed out a big lad with a big head, its very unlikely you'd need a second stage transfer.

5.Since you don't want an epidural, the same options are available at home. I find its rare for a woman with your history to need more than a pool and/or entonox.

The best bit is after. No one asks your OH to leave, the midwives leave and you are tucked up with your expanded family in your own bed.

Just START at home and see how it goes. Transfer in when you are ready, which may be never.

i was undecided for my first (and only, so far) dc, but took the mayhew line and said i wanted home birth if things going smoothly. that way i had the birth pack with me and midwives on stand by, but option to transfer. in the end i wanted to transfer so i could use hospital pool instead of my bath, but ds came too quickly.
i think i'd rather have a last minute transfer than have to go into hosp thinking 'wish i had that home birth now' or having accidental home birth with ambulance coming round and then having to go into hosp anyway as ambulance people can't do post birth checks.
go for it!

I really want a homebirth but I have gestational diabetes and I know they are going to push me to come in.... I dont see why I cant just give birth at home and then just test his sugars like I test mine now with my little meter!

I had my DC2 in hospital with G. diabetes and they just stabbed her foot (much more violently than my little stabber does) 3 times after breastfeeds and her sugars came up fine...

I am going to have words with my consultant next time I see her to see if she is persuadable (thats if they ever actually get me another appointment...)

I am comforted by the knowledge that I am 5 mins from the hospital if needs be.

Good luck with your decision ViolaCrayola but if were you I know what I'd be opting for! :)

I had all mine at home, even though I was mid-30s for my first one. I was v lucky with no problems but I think being at home helps you to have no problems as you feel you are not in a medical situation, and that you are comfortable and relaxed. Your decision though good luck!

I had my last baby at home after a terrible first hospital birth, followed by a much better hospital birth (I wanted a home birth but was too scared because DS1 was so massive). Wish I had had my second at home now. I couldn't recommend it more - like others have said you can always change your mind. I felt much more comfortable and much more capable of coping with the pain. DS1 still remembers waking up to hear the midwives chatting after the birth and coming in to see his new baby brother for the first time. Magical. Oh and then I sent DH to get me a lovely post-partum McDonalds!

P.S. I wasn't sure either, so I booked the home birth and decided I was going to stay at home as long as I could manage. If I couldn't cope then I'd go in. In the end I never felt like I wanted to go in.

Tinkermaloo - have you been on the Yahoo homebirth group? There are women there with experience of GD and homebirth

Like you, I was induced the first time, and I had a particularly insensitive midwife.

I went for a home birth second time around, however, when the midwife broke my waters, there was meconium in them, and I had to be transfered to hospital. This was a bit of a disappointment, but that time, I had a lovely hospital midwife.

Third time, I had a successful home birth. The "main" midwife was a student. She was overseen by a qualified midwife, of course. The birth went very smoothly, and they were lovely. It was so nice to be cuddled up with my new baby in my own bed, a few minutes after he was born.

Ok, I'm going to give the other side of the fence. It's very unmumsnetty to be against home birth but I am, for what I believe are very good reasons. I am an anaesthetist and I have seen a hell of a lot of things go wrong in labour which does bias my opinions.
Most labouring women at home will be fine, and have healthy babies. The stats that suggest it's as safe as/safer than hospital are ridiculously skewed by the selection of women who labour at home (straightforward pregnancies, mainly second pregnancies). When it goes well I'm sure it would be great to labour at home, I stayed at home as long as possible before going in. I do understand the fear some women have about hospital birth.
BUT the fact remains that if something goes wrong you are a long way from help for you and your baby. And things do go wrong. The reason so many women are safe having babies these days is because of hospital care; fact.
If you're in hospital and your baby's in trouble there will be about 2 mins to make a decision, a minute to take consent for lscs and about 5 mins to get you to theatre, 5 mins for a spinal and another 5 til baby out. Crash section aims decision to baby out in under 30 mins.
If you're at home and there's a problem. 2 mins for an experienced midwife to make a decision, 1 min to call ambulance, 7 mins for ambulance to arrive, 5 mins at best to get you down the stairs and secured in the ambulance, 5 mins to get to hospital, 5 mins to get you unloaded and up to the ward, 5 mins to get you off the trolley and handed over and doc called. Followed by the time taken as above for hospital crash lscs. That's a best case scenario of 30 mins more than in hospital. It's not just about the distance.
I had a very straightforward hospital delivery, I was lucky. There is no way no how I would ever consider a home birth. For me it's playing with a level of risk to my baby that I couldn't countenance. Fwiw I used natal hypnotherapy which I found fab.
You did ask for opinions and I know it's probably not what you want to hear but in my opinion it's not safe. Just because most women are fine doesn't mean you wouldn't massively regret it if you're the one who is not.
Good luck with your decision.

Thanks Flisspaps Just found and joined it now! :)

I agree, after is brilliant. We all had a picnic lunch in bed.

Before and during is great too! No pacing hospital corridors

I had my first son in hospital and my consultant said I should try a home birth the second time round - turned out to be a very good decision. Where I live I would not have trusted an ambulance to turn up quickly if I'd needed to transfer to hospital - we'd have all bundled into the car and broken the speed limit.

Magnumice, you work and feel comfortable in hospital. Also you see the disasters not the quick calm births.

I feel tense and judged. Hate the lack of privacy, having DD2 at home just felt right.

The risk was small enough I was happy to take it.