In two minds about having a home birth

[ViolaCrayola]

I had a horrible hospital induction 1st time around (have posted about this before), now 31 weeks with DC2.

Have been seriously considering a home water birth - have terrible SPD and water really helps. Plus all the other pros about home comforts, privacy, 1-1 care etc.

But I am very unsure that I actually want to have a baby at home! People seem to often be either very definite about home births one way or another, but I just feel undecided. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you decide eventually? Time is running out! :)

I had a water birth with dd (dc1) in the hospital in friendly midwife led unit (Tooting hospital) Was a good experience - recommend water during labour Stayed in bath at home for a long time with ds (dc2) then quick dash round the corner to hospital for pushing bit as no water pool on offer there (slightly ) Half hour later ds was here ! Good luck ! Go for it !

first baby in hospital - got left on my own most of the time during induction
Second and third at home - much more in control and two midwives there for second, at least three for third. Very relaxed and not far from hospital. All three underwater deliveries and awesome.

I booked a homebirth as was suffering from severe anxiety and this was recommended as a good way of facilitating a sense of control.

When I went into labour and contractions were three mins apart lasting a minute I called the midwives out but when they arrived it just went off, because I realised that really I wasn't up for it in reality. I didn't feel it was my own environment once they arrived, I felt awkward and couldn't imagine labouring at home. We had bought a pool and dh had filled it, and everything was ready.. tarpaulins out etc but when it came to it, I just didn't feel comfortable with my ds upstairs (though had childcare for him and he could have been removed if necessary, but still..) or my sister and these two midwives in my house. It just felt wrong and it started to intefere with my labour.. I kept going back to 3 min ctx 1 min apart but then would go off as soon as we were ready to call m/w's back. After 12 hours of this and a total of 48 hours latent labour, I asked to be transferred to hospital.

Luckily for me, I got an amazing delivery room with a pool and colour changing lights/stars on the ceiling etc and I felt more uninhibited and at home in this environment than at home! When active labour finally began (12 hours after arriving at hospital) it took about 1 and a half hours.

For me, being at home just wasn't a more relaxed or comfortable environment and actually despite basing my decision on wanting to have 1:1 midwifery care, it turned out I laboured better without a m/w in the room. We spent 12 hours in the hospital room and I would say a midwife was with us for a total of 2 hours of that, but that was just fine... I really found it easier to be with dh and to be active and bop around to my music and move at will rather than be directed by a m/w.

Different strokes for different folks. I was very lucky to still have a waterbirth experience in these circumstances but even though I loved the water and would be nervous to do an epidural-free birth without water, I won't be booking a homebirth again I think!

My first birth had me screaming for an epidural for 6 hours, being neglected, being manhandled, refused pool, refused gas and air for a period of time, and ignored for hours on end.

I reckoned I could get most of that at home just as easily!

Interestingly, my stupid GP told me that he was going to write to the hospital to recommend that they insist I had a hospital birth as ds was back to back and I would therefore not be able to get the pain relief I would need.

Thankfully I knew how to improve my outcomes by then, in all areas of labour and childbirth, and these solutions lay firmly in a homebirth. I turned my back to back baby by lying on my front in the bath for the first 2.5 hours of labour.

I did not expect to be given any pain relief and so was not in a panic when the midwives turned up with 5 bottles of gas and air but no pipe

I took control and directed the midwives as to what I was doing and how, talking THEM through the delivery (they knew not to touch me or the baby) and delivered a 8lb 150z baby with just a small graze.

I had one planned homebirth and one unplanned homebirth (BBA).

1st time preparred- no mess whatsoever

2nd time a bit messier, but still not really a problem.

Re the stairs, I managed to walk down them with a head crowning (because I thought my bathroom was too essy for the paramedics - what was I on?!?) so no problem really.

Should there be a #3 I have been recommended a HB because of previous BBA.

*messy

I also had a 2nd deg tear (internal) 2nd time, I think due to speed and midwife wanted to stitch it (I declined - healed fine)

I have three children and had 3 homebirths and been very lucky they all went very well did not need to be transferred. the midwives were amazing and so supportive during and afterwards and we loved having the other children around (in the garden) for the third as they met their brother soon after he was born.

It was really great for me but then my friends who have had natural births in the birthing centre have also said the same and then they had the comfort of knowing the labour ward was down the hall if they needed to go there.

Each time though i've had 2nd degree tears all stitched by the midwives at home.

I hadn't considered having a home birth until I visited the hospital at around 20 weeks. It left me in no doubt that home birth would be the best option for me - I had a normal pregnancy and the hospital environment felt hostile; I felt I would be safer at home. Had DS (and DD 18 months later) at home - both uncomplicated labours and very positive birth experiences.

I would recommend (if you haven't already) reading the homebirth.org.uk website. And as lots of posters have commented, you can start at home and change your mind later if you want to.

I have had 1 hospital birth and 2 home births, the first of which was greata nd the second amazing. I could not recommend it highly enough. But I do think you need to be well prepared for the birth. I did a lot of reading on natural birth and a hypnobirthing course which really helped me to believe I could have a great birth.

This website is helpful, I did their course. Don't be ut off by the hypnobirthing, it si more about being prepared, informed and confident. Useful stuff for Dad's too, even my very un-hippy, sceptical DH!!

www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/

Godd luck to any home birthers, it is an amazing experience!

About the stitching thing -I don't know what constitutes 2nd / 3rd degree tear but AFAIK they take you in for stitching if it's gone into rectal tissue (nice!). I had to transfer in after my HB, sooooo wish I hadn't.

We planned a home birth for our first. All went according to plan until things got really painful after about 12 hours. Couldn't help but get a bit shouty........then the gas ran out.

The mid wife was not very happy about being there all night with me and kept rolling her eyes at my DH over my head. Lost all confidence, got frightened and went in to hospital. DS popped out all on his own just 90 minutes later...wish I'd stayed at home and can't help but lay most of the blame at the door of the incredibly unsupportive, unhelpful, downright miserable mid wife - bit of a shocker too as all the other community midwives we had met had been REALLY lovely and it was because of them that I felt confident enough to go with the home birth in the first place.

Would be a really good idea to see if you are able to find out who will be your mid wife 'on the day' - not easy I know, but I think that might have helped us a bit.

still and when I think about it after 12 months!

Magnumicecreamaddict you are transferred at the first hint of problems well before you get to crash CSec zone! I can understand why you feel like you do as you see mainly problematic births which are in reality in the minority.

I had DS1 at home in water was bliss DS2 planned HWB he wasn't coing out ended up being transferred and had an ememrgency (not Crash) CSec.

If there was ever to be a DC3 I would defo try for a HWB again soooo much better.

As everyone says you can transfer at any time if you choose to too.

www.homebirth.org is brilliant for info.

I would really try and find out how experienced your local midwives are at doing homebirths before deciding to have one. You really need the right support because you are completely at their mercy if something goes wrong. I tried to have a homebirth for my first baby. My midwife was really inattentive and then completely panicked when she finally realised that my baby was coming out bottom first! (She was also my regular community midwife and I had been trying to tell her that my baby was the wrong way around for a few weeks). The trip to hospital in the ambulance was awful, even though it was only five minutes away. I did eventually manage to deliver my baby naturally. Obviously I was very unlucky with my midwife and the position of my baby, but with my other two births in hospital I felt a lot safer, the structure and support provided by the hospital meant that there was no panic, even when my second baby arrived in the assessment room and my third was also very fast. If you could know that you would have an uncomplicated birth and that you would have a capable team of midwives, I would think homebirth would be great, but I personally think that homebirth can put your baby at more risk.

I'm a little undecided about what we'd do next time too - I booked in for a HB with DS, but he decided to turn up a month early, so I had to go into hospital.

As I had become high-risk as such, I had a MW with me throughout my labour, the longest she left for was 5 minutes.
I remember thinking "Could I have done this at home?" and the answer was yes - I only had gas & air, and I reckoned i could've coped at home, while at the same time being grateful that we were in Hosp in the circumstances.

The only thing that makes me dither about next time (assuming DC2 is full term so ok for HB) is; DS was tiny, with a tiny head - not sure how I'll cope birthing a full-term baby!

I think thunkshead made an important point - a 'good' birth depends on where you feel comfortable which you can't necessarily predict I don't think.

I had the opposite situation though. I was supposed to have a hospital birth but we had moved between having DS1 and me getting pregnant with DS2 and I hated the hospital I was supposed to have DS2 in - I was in tears after the tour we went on and really dreading the birth. I had an epidural with DS1 which I loved and I was scared about giving birth without one but the new hospital had well below average rates of administering epidurals as pain relief and well above national average of CS.

I am eternally grateful that DS2 had other plans. I was unsure for the first couple of hours I was in labour, thinking I might have a uti that was making me uncomfortable and then when I was sure things moved fast and whilst DH was getting ready to go (which included getting DS1 ready as we had no child care as my parents had to drive 1.5 hours and hadn't arrived) my waters went and DS2 was delivered 20 mins later by a paramedic. The hospital was 25 minutes away so I am v. glad we didn't attempt to go.

But despite the lack of preparation, the lack of pain relief and the lack of medical help until the end, it was a lovely calm birth. It felt right to stay at home and it was far less stressful than the hospital birth. I wouldn't have had the confidence in my own ability to cope and so hadn't chosen a HB but I would have done, if there had ever been a DC3.

As it was the MW turned up 5 minutes after the birth to deal with the clearing up and the delivering the placenta. There was no need to go to hospital and relatively little mess, although I am very grateful we had a dark bedroom carpet as DH thought a small hand towel would be sufficient to cope with the mess of delivery.

I think the point about planning for a HB and being able to change your mind is very important. After all a lot of us start off labouring at home anyway but if you don't like it, you can transfer just as you would with a planned hospital birth (assuming no emergency situation). Go with it and see how you feel.

I've not read through the whole thread but I just wanted to say - you are worrying about transferring in during labour but if you book a hospital birth that is exactly what you will have to do. Albeit at (probably) an earlier stage. If you boom a HB you may or may not transfer in.

I can see how a homebirth that goes well is a wonderful thing - but I cannot imagine the stress of having to transfer midway through labour, or the sense of panic if something went wrong an ambulance ride away from help. I considered a homebirth with both of mine but ultimately I felt "safer" in hospital.
Both times, I had fantastic one-on-one midwife care during labour in an extremely busy inner-city hospital. Lucky, I know - but I didn't want to leave the rest of it to luck. At least I could switch off the worry marked "terrifying dash to hospital" in my mind, and although there were no guarantees that things wouldn't go wrong in hospital, knowing I was in immediate reach of emergency care helped to reassure me, more than the prospect of being in my own bed would have done. I was happy to trade the advantages of home for that level of security, despite horrible postnatal accommodation / general filth / lack of snacks etc!
I know people who have had blissful homebirths, and I am a bit jealous. I had straightforward labours, it probably would have been fine. But at such a uncertain time, I personally needed all the certainties I could get.

There is a difference between transferring to hospital during labour when you have planned a homebirth and heading there when you have always known that you are booked in for a hospital birth, though. No matter how much you tell yourself that a transfer is a possibility during a homebirth, it still represents a change of plan at a time when changes of plan aren't that welcome...

I had far better care during my homebirth with dc2 than I did in hospital during dc1's birth. I was already pushing when I arrived at hospital as they had repeatedly told me to stay at home and take paracetamol. The transfer to hospital via taxi was not fun at all and I found the whole thing really frightening and traumatic.

When I gave birth to dc2 the mw arrived when I was 5cms and didn't leave me at all until we were tucked up in bed with dd happily feeding. We didn't need to worry about waiting for childcare for dc1 or finding change for the hospital car park, I only had to concentrate on myself and I think this really helped me cope much better with labour. As a second timer having a low risk pregnancy I very much doubt I would have had 1 to 1 care in hospital so I really felt that dd and I were much safer at home.

You might not be in reach of emergency care because you get turned away because they are too busy, or because you are deemed not in established labour. Neither of these happen in your own home.

OK if they are too busy they might try not to send someone, but would you want to labour in a place where you know they are short-staffed?

If you are not in established labour at home, then the midwife goes away again, leaving you to carry on doing whatever you were, but not driving to and from the hospital two or three times.

The main reason I am considering a homebirth is the huge pressure on my local (and only) maternity unit. I know woman who have had babies in triage because they are 'full' and I know of other women (admittedly in different health authorities) that have been sent to much, much further distanced hospitals.

I believe that (huge generalisation but) second babies tend to be quicker, and seeing as I went from show/nothing much to baby in about 12hrs with DD and had the rather unpleasant experience of turning up to hospital with regular contractions, finding I was 1cm dilated and being sent home, then to making the mad-dash in the car, with no medical support, worrying that we wouldn't get there (or the terrifying speeds my DH was driving at would lead to us being stopped/having an accident), at 9cm dilated with my waters broken, membranes hanging out of me and collapsing with regular contractions as I walked along to the furthest reaches of the hospital where the unit is, less than 2 hrs after being in hospital in the first place.

If I thought that the doubling in numbers of babies born at the hospital (without an increase in wards/beds/staff) hadn't had an influence on when mothers are sent home or admitted, or whether I am likely to a) get into the damned place on the day and b) if there was even a remote chance I would get the water birth I would love to have, I wouldn't have a problem with being in the hospital/on-site MLU. I had to go to the delivery suite in the end with DD, and feel that panic/adrenaline situation led to the pushing being a relatively long, laborious affair, with a hugely bruised coccyx and stiches, because I was also in a laying-down position (which I also want to avoid this time around).

If I'm going to transfer again mid-way through, I want to have a MW in attendance or at least a paramedic and I want the hospital to have to take me or the ambulance be able to blue-light me to the next nearest hospital unit available. I don't want to turn up in late stage labour and be told 'there's no room at the inn'. I'm certain that would be FAR riskier to both me and baby than having a planned homebirth.

Everyone is talking like there are only 2 options here. In my (rural area) I had the choice of home, hospital or a mlu at a local community hospital. I had a home birth because it felt right for me but I was almost tempted when we were given the tour of the mlu as it was small and homely. In the end though I couldn't see that it offered any more safety than I could have at home. For any emergency I would have transferred to our not very local hospital 40 mins away. The point I'm making (in a long winded way!) is that birth in an mlu didn't offer me any more ' safety' than a hb so why bother?! Plus there was no birth pool which I knew I wanted. Seemed like the hospital option was only really offered for difficult pregnancies and there was no guarantee I'd get the pool their either. Water birth was fab and I used a tens machine until I was dilated enough to get in the pool. I had pethadine lined up if I wanted it and gas and air but didn't need anything in the end-water rocks!!! I used 'born in water' to hire a pool and I used it for 3 weeks before the birth to just float in and watch telly!

To add my two pence: I had a home water birth with my first and only. My view was that the longer I could stay out of hospital the better while in labour. I was definitely more relaxed at home and my labour was reasonably quick, i believe, for that reason. One midwife with me the whole time and the second MW showed up towards the end. Generally, it was a good experience. However, my bleeding wouldn't stop Once DS was born so I was ambulanced to the hospital anyway! I live within 15 mins of the hospital so my strategy was to stay at home as long as possible and always know I could get to hospital quickly if I changed my mind. We are lucky to have the choice. I also looked into Birth Centres - are there any near you?