Positive and Empowering Stories of How You Coped in Labour (no matter how it all ended up)

[thunksheadontable]

Hi

I am 32 weeks pregnant and I've posted a few times here recently about my anxiety and mental health in relation to this birth. However, am totally committed to doing everything possible to releasing my fear and anxiety in the next few weeks and am sort of doing psychological bootcamp on it, doing Hypnobirthing privately with two midwives (and only £187 - bargain!), refreshing my memory on techniques I used in my first labour that worked and open to any and all suggestions however weird and whacky that helped you cope with whatever labour you did.

I realised through discussion that I had totally discounted my skills because I had an epidural from 5cms but actually, looking back, I did use some pretty effective pain control techniques along the way to that and never really felt panicked or out of control. I really want to focus on all of these positives and not the end stage of my last labour this time..

So: things that helped me -

I went on all fours and swayed while breathing. This lasted for on off contractions for a few days.

Early labour - trying to rest, listening to repetitive relaxing music and keeping my mind as free as possible. I listened to Einaudi's Melodie Africana i on repeat for about three hours (!!): .

I had two stress balls, colouredly juggling balls like these. I lay on my left hand side and held one in the hand that had the drop on0 close to my face while I breathed in to a count of 4, focussing on the patterns, and slowly dropped it down away from my face and extended the whole arm, breathing out. I did this for a good few hours and when it got really hard I would count or say "focus like a laser and focus on nothing but this" (this is a Juju Sundin Birth Skills technique)

I added gas and air.

I addedd a TENS.

All of this got me to 5cms and then I got an epidural. It was calm and relaxed for all of this.

Anyone have other things that helped them?

the drip in. Not the drop on0!

I walked in circles round the kitchen saying fuckfuckfuckfuck as each contraction intensified and sat on the birthing ball inbetween.

It was a bloody good mantra, that.

I stayed at home as long as poss, bouncing on ball.....then tens machine, then hubby drove me around over bumps!

for hospital and proper labour - i took a photo of my mother and me as a baby - so show me that my mother did it - to keep looking at when could!
Husband massage back NON STOP for SIX HOURS!!! that helped enourmoulsy, he couldnt even take his hand away to get a sip of drink!

got high on gas and air.....and just kept trying to rememeber have amazing medinince nowadays should something go wrong..

• Herb Alpert CD
• a lovely lovely student midwife who stayed with me the whole time and did a fabulous back rub
• gas & air

No issimma, smugness greatly welcomed. My actual delivery was not so straightforward but I think as against the stiff-upper-lip essence of Britishness as it is, it is good to share stories of stuff that has worked. I'm not much pushed with whether it's fuckfuckfuckfuck or whale music, if it worked for one woman it might work for me!

Like lots of us, I find I fixate on the "bad stuff" and also feel that sometimes people are encouraged to be a bit "all or nothing" about it e.g. it was all horrendous/horrific or else some sort of beatific spiritual experience. I think I have spent nearly 2 and a half years focusing on the hard bits rather than on all that time I managed really quite well and that has been to my detriment to this point of this pregnancy. No more, I say, no more! Just going to really fixate on all the bits that can and do make a difference!

Baths. I was at home until about 9 cm and spent most of it in the bath - or walking around

Breathing concentratedly (blowing out the golden thread) during contractions.

Commentary in my head "here comes a contraction, I'll just breathe through it, yep, yep, still breathing, ooh, yes, here we go, on the way out". Sometimes with funny accents to cheer myself up. Don't judge me...it was all in my head.

For me: TENS machine on straight away & not being shy with turning it up. That got me to 10cm. After that I was in the birthing pool which was bliss.
Also used g&a and focussed breathing. I did Lazy Daisy antenatal classes and when labour started I just got on with the rocking/rotating/breathing that I'd learnt and focussed on that. I was expecting to have some kind of intervention and also expected to feel like I was going to die. Neither of these things happened, so I think my pessimistic outlook helped. I loved giving birth even though it was hard work. I found a little corner of my mind to go into where I was relaxed but focussed on the task.

Counting.

I counted on the way 'up' at the start of a contraction, and then counted down once it started to subside. The idea that you are counting down to not being in pain made it bearable for me.

Also at the end, when they are coming thick and fast I found rocking my pelvis was really good.

That and being totally off my head on G&A!

The MLU I gave birth in had a sort of swing you could sit in and sway back and forth. It was fantastic in early labour. For the pushing stage it was using a pool, G & A, squeezing a stress ball and LOTS of swearing (don't be shamed to let it out ).

I was a bit odd in labour - I somehow felt the need to 'shadow' box. I do not exercise. I have never boxed - but dp tells me that shadow boxings is what I was doing. Most odd.

get 3am / 4am / 5am before i think about more pain relief. i found it easier to manage time chunks.

i was quite anxious around 32-37 weeks with ds3, because i knew what to expect with regards to the pain. but then my anxiety just went away as my due date approached, i don't know why, maybe the hormones of later pregnancy have a calming effect.

I walked around during each transaction, swayed and hummed (I always use humming to cope with stressful situations for me - like anything involving needles) - bizarrely with dc3 (5mo now) I found myself humming the tune to Heidi, which I probably haven't heard in 25 years .

One thing which I know isn't guaranteed but is possible, as its your 2nd labour it may well be much quicker. Mine were dc1 = 12hrs, dc2 = 5hrs, dc3 = 6hrs. And whereas I had an epidural with dc1, by the time I wanted one with dc2 I was too late, and with dc3 I didn't want one as I found the experience much better without one.

I swore when the pain was really bad! Sounds dilly but it did help

I just remember staring at the wall and thinking "I can do this, I can do this".

These are great! And such a testament to the mental power of women! It's interesting how instinctively people seem to do either active birthy or hypnoticky things with their own mantras etc.

Diddlediddledumpling, I have read that about the calming hormones. Bring them on, I say!

Reel, I really hope to be the same.. to find I can't get the epi and then have a better experience. Just seems a scary prospect when you've had an epi birth I think because obviously I have all these memories of sitting up chatting and relaxing etc.. though I will happily trade them to not have a repeat of the months of back pain from having birthed a back to back baby on my back with my legs in the air. And the forceps, of course .

Make and maintain eye contact - a midwife managed to hold my gaze and it reduced my experience of pain by about 20% I reckon. Husband didnt find it so easy..?!?!? But midwife was good at it!!
Good luck!

maybe try to avoid swearing while you're doing that :o

I also used to sort of hang on to DH or on to the door frame, can't really remember the details or how it helped but it did!

My labour was only eight hours, so I managed to be on all fours for most of that (except the car journey with contractions at one minute on, one minute off, at about 8cm with waters bulging ). Being able to sway in that position helped me a lot. The TENS machine was fab, and poor DH was forced to do massage for about four hours .

In the later stages, using hypnobirthing style thoughts like blowing up a balloon, and breathing through the painful bit of each contraction (the painful bit was about three deep breaths long), were invaluable. Gas and air wouldn't have worked for me as I needed to be very focussed.

I think the TENS machine worked by distracting me at the key moment in each contraction, with the boost function.

Good luck, OP!

With DC1, had 'period' pains from about 6 am at 36.5 weeks - by 8 had admitted to myself it was probably labour pains. We had builders in putting in new windows, and plumber fixing broken boiler so had to wait for friend to arrive and 'watch' the flat for us :o)

Got to the hosiptal (about 20 min away) at 10-ish. Hardly remember journey, think that was at 'transition point' - made my husband turn around to get our radio so I could listen to Radio 4...WTF! I must have been nuts...

Anyway, got to hospital, and everyone very unfriendly, unhelpful, told me probably braxton hicks, to stop making a fuss (wasn't shouting or groaning, just could not sit down as instructed as too painful). As 36 weeks, the horrid midwife (still remember her name 8 years later, bitter, moi?) told me a obstetrician would have to examine me - he said pretty much "Holy F$%^ she's fully dilated", they finally let me stand up, my waters broke and they rushed me to birthing room. Had DC1 about 2 hours later - no pain, just hard work pushing. Really, no pain at all. But whole experience really affected me, and think, in retrospect, played a huge factor in my PND.

Happier experience: despite all that, decided to have DC2! Insisted on home birth. After speed of DC1's arrival, midwives were worried they might not get to me in time. Gorgeous midwives, fab experience, but took 8 hours from waters breaking at playgroup to baby arriving, and this time it did hurt...but just gas and air, and never truly unbearable...just it seemed to go on a looooong time (and I know 8 hrs isn't bad!). No screaming, upstairs and downstairs neighbours didn't know baby had arrived for couple days :o)

Not meant to be a smug posting at all - never felt it was an empowering experience or any spiritual inklings :o) - just as someone else said, it's nice to hear it can be 'OK'. 6 years later, I'm expecting DC3 in 9 weeks...REALLY hope it was like my previous births, fingers crossed... Good luck, OP, let us know how u get on.

In early labour, I got into a really hot shower and just let the water cascade over my lower back. Heaven.

During contractions, I would count - I knew a contraction lasted 24 breaths, so up to 12 was the hard bit, then I knew I was on the downward slope and it was nearly over. After each contraction, I had a cuddle and a s-t-r-e-t-c-h.

Listen to your body. I was more in control with No 3., and I found I needed to be naked, stood up. I was so blasted hot, DH had a face cloth and had to refresh it in icey water between contractions and rub it on my back. I also found myself pushing my hips forward and back during contractions, evidently I needed to be doing this instinctively to help ds2 manoeuvre. I was fierce, I tell you.

This contrasted with DS1, where I sobbed like a baby for my 3 hour labour.

The most helpful thing my MW said was, at 5cm, that the pain wasnt going to get worse, it would get more frequent and last longer, but would not get worse. This meant I felt I could cope with just G&A.

I went from 5cm to fully dilated in 20 mins in both 2nd and 3rd labours. I believe this is not uncommon. Pushing was all done and dusted in a few minutes. total time for ds2: 1h45mins, start to finish.

Mooing.

Rocking and swaying in front of the TV

Water

Lots of entonox

Watching 'Walk the line' in my pool and thinking it hilarious that 'Ring of Fire' was being sung whilst I was pushing like nothing on earth. Laughing was preferable to crying.

Swearing.

Trying to use natal hypnotherapy and thinking that Maggie Howells was fucking mental to think that 4 minute long ctx could be dealt with by lying on an imaginary beach and were just warmth, pressure and power

Spinal anaesthetic. Oh yes. Fabulous.