I don't want my dd to be the youngest in school!

[Boggler]

I really don't know what to do I am 20wks and my due date varies between 10th September ( based on lmp), 5 September (based on private consultants measurements and NT scan) to 31 August ( based on a nhs dating scan). No real surprises with the different dates except I've got several fibroids and one is very low down almost blocking my cervix as a result my NHS consultant has agreed to perform an elcs to avoid haemorrhaging and or obstructed birth. But if he does elcs it will be at 39 wks based on my 'official' due date of 31 August. This would effectively make my child the youngest in the school year with all the disadvantages that brings! Should I go with this or try for a natural birth which could be very problematic? I'm tempted to go naturally and have emcs if anything looks untoward or am I taking unnecessary risks?

My dd is an august birthday.

She was in top sets all the way through primary. But then failed to get into a selective school when she sat the test at 10. My other child is a September birthday, also top sets for everything. I know he'll have a much better chance at the 11+ than his (just as clever) sister because he'll be a whole year ahead of her developmentally when he sits them.

Sorry - education is a competition these days, and if you have two equally bright children, but one is developmentally also a year ahead they are likely to do better in formal tests of ability, and also likely to cope better with the social and emotional demands of being at school.

OP - I would request a later date for your elective c/s. There is clear evidence that as a group older children do better academically at school than similarly bright but younger children.

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www.guardian.co.uk/education/2007/oct/24/schools.uk here]]

(as the parent of two summer born children and one September born child)

i have to say if you can push the date back a day i would as well, i have 2 summer born (july and late aug) and they were not ready for school so we home educated for a few years until they were older.

you may feel differently at the time, ie fed up and wanting it over with, but if you can speak to your consultant and there is no medical reason not to wait another day or two, i would be asking them to wait :)

Ah boogler. To my mind it would be best to go with what the doctors recommend for the birth of your baby. I know that an August birthday might be a worry but it would be a very minor problem compared to running the risk of complications with your pregnancy.

My dSis was born on 30th August, has always done very well academically and socially. She and my mum are both infant school teachers and what they've told me regarding the 'problem' of a late August birthday is what sparklekitty has already said.

My DTs were born on 26th August, just under four months prematurely and my surviving DD2 may be going to school a week after her fourth birthday. There are mechanisms to defer or delay school entry should it prove necessary, they are not used often (and you have to be quite determined in some areas) but I do know children via the premature birth community whose parents have managed it. I'm going through the process with my dd2 at the moment. Also you don't HAVE to send your children to school until they turn 5 as I understand it.

However, I'm inclined to think my dd2 will manage just fine and she had a very difficult start to her life. Your daughter may well be ready for school when the time comes around. Please don't worry, I really don't think that it is necessarily a huge problem. Apart from the school holiday birthday party awkwardness, I'm with Madame there!

Oh dear minifingers looks like my dd2 is trouble then [bushock] still negotiating as whether she will have to start in September as will be, effectively, the youngest by sixteen months. Argh. If only DTs could have waited an extra week!

But, all that aside, I would still (personally) never take a risk with my own or my child's health.

[bugrin] helium!

Of course he isn't, he has a pretty, clever, funny, sporty, kind intelligent gf. (i hate her also)

Seriously why is it so terrible to think that some children are more academic than others? There really doesn't have to be a reason.

Some children are brighter than others. The bright ones aren't all g&t, the less bright ones aren't all disadvantaged.

"For the sake of one day I would ask consultant to move one day if possible."

It's not one day, it's about 10.

EDD - 31st August

39 weeks - 24th August

1st September - Sauturday

3rd September - 1st date in Sep ELCS possible.

I would not put off an ELCS for such serious reasons from the 24th to the 3rd.

Not long ago the date of ELCS would have been 38 weeks. Leaving it as late as 39 is very recent.

I doubt they'd be happy to change it to term +4 for this reason.

bu the date varies according to lmp which puts it at 10th sept and 5ths ept fro private nuchal scan, there is always guesswork and flexibilty in dates anyway and some women chooose to wait till labour starts adn THEN have a c-section or to have it on their due date.

recent elective c sections ihave knows (from friends) have been as near as possible to due date as research is showing babies do better and are less likely to have breathing issues etc.

the op can only speak to her consultant and ask and make an informed opinion based on the evidence given. c sections are often planned for all sorts of reasons, drs holidays, etc all play a part in when scheduled sections take place and IF there is an emergency on the day she may not even get her section that day anyway!

What advantages are there with being born on August 31st? A child can be emotionally young but very bright and vise versa. I have children born in March, June and August and the August child is top of her class for everything. The other two are holding their own but one of them is young emotionally.

The first working after your due date is September 3rd - so a wait of 10 days. You have a lot to balance up.

I wouldn't wait 10 days actually (had misread and thought it would be a 1 day difference). Sorry OP, I think the only sensible thing to do here is to have the CS at 39 weeks as recommended, you can worry about the school issues much nearer the time!

"some women chooose to wait till labour starts adn THEN have a c-section or to have it on their due date."

Women choose an emergency section in preference to an elective?!

Really?

I'm very surprised to hear the NHS would allow women to choose a riskier option that would put services under pressure.

As someone who's had both kinds of CS, I can't believe any woman would opt for an emergency CS if a CS was definitely needed.

They are indeed moving CSs closer to the DD - hence 39 weeks rather than 38 a year or two ago.

If labour would be dangerous, I'd be surprised if they were OK with a risk like this being taken for school year manipulation purposes.

Not to mention how many other women will be asking for ELCSs on the 3rd.

IME the NHS will go by their own dates, not yours, or ones from private scans.

Ask by all means, but I would nor expect a positive response.

this thread only highlights why parents should be given a choice. It is wrong that you are even thinking about this OP. I fel sorry for you but think you need to follow doctors advice.

I think a lot of people are forgetting the emotional maturity of a younger child. This is what sets them back more often than not. My DD is the youngest and I would give a lot to have her in year 2 atm and not year 3. She is immature compared to her peers...except the other summer born DC of course...the girls who are turning 9 soonish are so much older than her in every way.

not recomended but yes it is done and i know of at least one person that has done exactly that, waited to go into labour, and then had a section (for a breach baby) she did her research, spoke to consultant and made her decision.

op this is something that you need to think about seriously, i would be hesitant to take the risk of wating for natural labour, but i see nothing wrong with speaking to your consultant and asking for the date to be changed IF everything is fine with you and baby, you can always go in sooner if you or they have any concerns.

you do have the fact that you have three different dates to argue with as the date from your nuchal scan would put you at 39wks and 2 days on the 1st sept? and if you had to wait till the 3rd (for the wkend) you are still having the section before your due date (from the nuchal scan)

i can see why you are concerned and its worth at least asking at the hospital and looking at the evidence for and against the earlier c section with regards to yours and the babies health :)

I agree Awkward, the inflexibility around school starting dates is crazy.

If total flexibility is not possible, maybe summer-born babies should have the choice of when to start.

I would never let the worry about an august-born change my birth choices particularly if my own or the baby's health is at stake.

What you're talking about is quite extreme - there are other extreme possibilities... move to scotland, homeschool, seiner-waldorf school... possibly there would be other private school options with different entry regulations?

Personally i'd go for one of those extreme solutions than change the ELCS date that the consultant has advised.

Jesus, I'm really appalled that other women were put at risk so some silly bitch could "choose" an emergency section.

Fucking hell

It was frustrating for my dd's friends who had to wait nearly a year after the main group before they could drive, go to pubs and drink, get into a nightclub, etc. So it's not ALL about academics and maturity

But agree with others, safety is paramount and eclipses everything else. Hope everything becomes clearer nearer the time.

I was quite happy that dd couldn't get into pubs and clubs until after her A levels.

she isnt a 'silly bitch' she is a women who within her rights made an informed choice that the hospital supported. as it was her waters broke, she went straight to the hospital and then waited for a space to become available, she wasnt contracting and the baby was fine (monitered) so they waited till the next day to perform the section as they were busy with pre-booked and elective c sections.

whenver you have an elective you run the risk that you will be bumped down the list because of emergancies for whatever reason, i know 2 people whose babies werent diagnosed as breech until they were in labour and then they had to have esections.

my local hospital has 2 theatres and policy is they always try and have one free for any emergancies, if not there are other operating theatres in the hospital they can use as well if need be.

its not a case of putting other women at risk at all, there are the facilities to deal with emergancies and whenever you have a baby you may need them, the try and schedule sections that they can but you cant control labour and birth so hospitals are (or should be) geared up for emergencies to happen, regardless of whether a woman knows her baby will breech, she could have decided to try for a normal birth, but didnt want to. incidentally i have just seen an amazing home birth of a breech baby, attended by a dr as the midwives refused. its not a choice i would make but it was an amazing birth to watch, very graffic but interesting to see a breech being born naturally and funny when the bum and willy were out and the baby weed before even being fully delivered!

i have been lucky enough to have never needed a section (tho i was offered one with ds1) but if i was i would wait till my due date to have one, ie for a breech baby, all mine have been at least 2 wks pasts my due date (induced) so i wouldnt be too worried about going into labour and needing an emergency section. given the choice i woudl want an elective over an emergency section but not all women do want that and it is their choice to make, provided they are well informed.

in this case op i dont think i woudl wait for labour to start as you have mentioned in your op, but i would speak to the consultant and see if you can change the date providing all is well with you and your baby :)

antshouse pretty much every teen i knew went to pubs and clubs before they were 18 anyway!

From reading every reply on here I'm genuinely shocked at some of the responses

What can be more important than a safe and healthy delivery for both mum and baby regardless of the date??

As I said before my dd2 is 31st aug baby and it's not an issue at all. Dd1 was born 30th Oct but I didn't worry about her being a pumpkin or vampire cos she's so close to Halloween.......

I'm a Christmas day baby which I KNOW pissed my mother off enormously as she had to miss her Christmas lunch in the pub!!!

I seriously cannot believe there is this much fuss about the date that baby MIGHT be born!!

I also agree that come august, in the warm weather etc, OP will literally be BEGGING for ELCS ASAP!!!!!

But really???? Is the date you are born really that much of an issue in the grand scheme???

Personally, I'd ask the consultant to wait till Sept. if safe.

Yes we all know Summer born DC for whom it's been no disadvantage, but statistically they are.

Certainly in DDs classes the older girls are, disproportionately, the ones who get the better results.
DD2 has just appeared and said the same applies to the boys, both her top maths group are in the older half of the year.

She is Feb and spent a year as the youngest in a split class. She wasn't keen everyone was bigger than her, even though she was there on merit.

we all agree the health of mum and baby is paramount but asking the consultant the pros and cons of waiting and if it is SAFE to wait seems a reasonable idea to me, they can only say no, state the risks or say actually yes we can see you closer to your date to check how you and baby are and reasses as necessary.

as it is the op could have her baby prematurely (hope not) or go into labour any time from 37wks in which case she woudl end up with an e section anyway, we just dont know, however i dont think there is anythign wrong with adressing her concerns with a consultant and seeing if they are medical reasons either way, if it is safe to wait then i would wait, many kids do fine with aug bday but statistically they often dont do as well, who wouldnt want the odds to favour their childs education, if it came down to health or education you would choose health, but it may be that the op can get both :)

most of us dont get to choose when our babies are born, and dont care, but the op is in the position of being able to have a bit of a say and if it was me i would ask the options and see what was safe for baby and myself, having had two summer born children, i would if i could opt for them to have a september birthday, but obviously only if its safe for mum and baby.

I know lots of children who are the oldest in the class but at the bottom of the class. Intelligence is nothing to do with when you are born but all to do with genetics and the inclination to work.