Hate hospital - want out of here!! (EMCS)

[silver23]

Child birth long and problematic, ending in EMCS Sun AM. But actually happy with whole thing. What I'm really unhappy about is the aftercare. What's upsetting me is:

Alone - have private rooms here. See no reason DH can't be with me whenever we want - only allowed either 2-8pm or 10am-8pm (unclear, diff people say died things).

Information - I know nothing a out CS recovery. No one telling me anything. I had to ask if I was bleeding out my vagina. Told a MW no one told me anything, she asked what did I want to know. I know so little I do t know what to ask! Confused, I asked when I would be able to walk. She just talked about 'major surgery' in answer. Still don't know when can get out of bed.

Breast feeding - three diff midwives have helped, all give contradictory info and none the same as NHS prenatal class. Already suggested formula, when DD less than 12 hr old! (I suggested trying more and she finally fed)

Crib - planning to cosleep, but DD in separate little crib. She very unhappy alone and won't settle -- only sleep I've gotten is with my arm over edge touching her. She sleep well with me holding her, but I can't sleep then!

I'm almost In tears. I hate it here and want to go home. But assume good reasons to keep me the min 48 hr they said - I still have catheter and haven't yet walked!

Not sure why posting - just moan and want support...

Sorry, on phone and fingers swollen. I see errors above - hope sensible!

(big fingers hit post instead of preview)

Whaty a shock you must have had. And not at all what you planned. I know you said you're fairly happy with the outcome of it all, but its still a big shock

I'm sorry they're not giving you much info. They are right in that you've had major surgery, and will be in considerable pain. You can't have the catheter out until you can get to the bathroom unaided. Once you can stand, then they'll take it out. Mine was in place for 3 days as I had SPD and it refused to clear up!

Re the breast feeding, you're right, just keep trying. DD needs to learn as much as you do, they aren't born knowing.

I can't advise on the co-sleeping as I never did it, but I do know that if you need help llifting DD, the MW's will help. I got shouted at a lot as I kept trying to get out of bed on hips that refused to work!

For pain management, keep on top of the painkiller,s even if you feel good. You'll know about it if they wear off!! Codeine is safe while BFing. And if you need to cough, sneeze or laugh, hold your wound firmly with a cushion for the first few days or it stings like buggary.

Hope they let you out soon

i have had 4 sections. the first was an emergency one. i was helped to walk the next day and catheter was out so i could waddle to the shower.
i breast fed all mine, but milk may not be in yet so don't panic. none of mine had a lot of 'milk' in first 24 hours just the colostrum.

yes i second keep on top of the analgesia. my husband bought me food in as i was starving. drink plenty.
i was told off for not asking for help, so ASK, the staff were more than happy to help. is this baby number one

get husband /relatives to ring ward to confirm visiting times. usually more lenient with partners.

Sorry to hear things haven't gone to well..I had EMCS and absolutely hated being in hospital as it was 30oC outside for the whole week

You can bleed for up to 6 weeks even after an EMCS, it's called lochia and I think it's the extra linings of your uterus

As soon as your catheter is out, get up and walking..it's a huge effort but you'll be rewarded. The more your're up and on the move the less recovery time you'll need afterwards. Dont overdo it though, give yourself time and most importantly enjoy your new treasure

Sorry you're having such a tough time, I had my CS 2 weeks ago so hopefully I can help (mine was elective so recovery may be a bit more straightforward but similar).

Firstly, a CS you weren't expecting is a shock, it's completely natural to feel as you do. My experience has been as follows:

Catheter out 24 hrs after surgery. Encouraged to get up and shower straight after - I had a healthcare assistant with me at all times for this, ensuring I didn't fall and effectively washing me in the shower (was bliss to feel so clean!) She helped change my sani pads (you will bleed from the vagina but my experience has been far less than my vaginal birth).

I was discharged 24 hours after that. They need to know your bladder is working properly for this so will want to monitor how much urine you pass and when (they got me to pee in a jug and save it). I'm now 2 weeks on and to be honest I feel so good my body doesn't even feel like it had a baby. This is a world away from the dreadful VB I had first time round - I hope you can get to a position where you can view this cs in a positive light.

Regarding visitors, have your DH there as much as possible - I'd wait to be told he had to leave rather than keep him away just in case.

Questions I would ask:

1. What pain relief have I been prescribed? What times will I get it? (You can then chase them up about it - v.important to keep on top of the pain!)
2. When will my catheter be removed? Can I then shower? Will I get assistance for this? (If not I'd be surprised but get DH to help)
3. What needs to happen for me to be discharged? eg: Normal bladder, bowels?, baby's check with paed, baby's feeding/wet and dirty nappies.
4. What about my long term recovery? What can I do/not do and for how long? (Eg: lifting anything heavier than the baby, driving, bending and stretching, exercising)
5. I'd also clarify on feeding your baby. How often and how long is enough. After my first birth my DD didn't feed enough as she was so sleepy - this turned into a vicious cycle where she ended up dehydrated and jaundiced and being tube fed formula. Advice to me this time was this: ensure you put baby to breast at least every 3 hours for at least 30 minutes. If she falls alseep quicker, put her back to the breast an hour or 2 later or sooner if she wakes up. You can leave her up to 5 hours at night but no longer. Do every feed skin to skin (stripping baby and nappy change helps to rouse them, blowing their face and tickling their feet helps to keep them awake on the breast. And if DD is becoming unresponsive, now wet nappies etc. then a bit of formula to get them up and running isn't the worst thing in the world. I still managed to switch to ebf after DD had the formula she needed to make her better.

All the advice already posted is good stuff too. Good luck.

I've had two emcs so can well understand the shock.

Recovery is aided by getting up asap, is particularly important for lowering dvt risk. I was up within 4 hours both times, just walking a bit and sitting in the chair.

I was catheter free 12hrs after both and it's important to drink a lot for hydration and to get your bladder working though you may have a drip to help with this. DS ripped mine out within an hour of the emcs so I was extremely thirsty.

You will bleed the same as with a vaginal birth. Be aware that if you've not been moving, the blood may have pooled and you may 'flood' when you stand.

Ask for help, if you feel fragile demand that dh advocates for you. At 24hrs post cs you should be showering and removing your dressing to allow the wound to start healing. Stitches will come out on day 5 and will be done at home by the midwife.

I was discharged 12hrs post dd's birth and 48hrs after ds's birth and was glad to be home. DH was only allowed to visit for 2 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon and first time round the care was shocking.

Ask about the hospital's breastfeeding support too. They should be providing specific help to you.

A physio will come and see you today to explain about recovery and what you should/shouldn't do. They will also check your stomach muscles for you. Ask them lots of questions, they will give you a cs recovery leaflet.

I coslept in hospital both times. Sides of the beds up, pillows stuffed in the gaps and dd and ds next to me at all times. Ask them to help with this.

Firstly, big congratulations.

Usually you can have your catheter out 12 hours after surgery, they will help you up to make sure you can get to the loo, change your sheets etc.

Re breastfeeding, ask if there are any peer supporters, bf counsellors or an infant feeding advisor on the ward. I wasn't made aware of the support available because they thought I was doing OK. It took 4 days for my milk to come in btw, baby was fine and no formula was given. Ask them to help you feed lying down, as sitting up will make your scar area get tight and hurt like hell when you straighten up.

You can cosleep, get someone to put the rails up on the side of your bed, and ask for the UNICEF co-sleeping info, use the side lying position they illustrate there, it's really good for your baby to be close to you, get lots of skin to skin and free access to feed, and you don't need to call someone every time you want a cuddle.

Thanks all! Yes, this is my first. DH spent day with me and I finally got catheter out around noon. I think they are really busy - a phyio came by and left a pamplet and said she'd be back after the catheter was out, but she never came. Asked about her around 4pm and someone said they'd look into it, but never heard more. Someone did come by and said she was looking after me and baby today, and I managed to ask a few questions while she took my BP and temp and examined DD, but only got as far as they want to see me wee X amt (now done) and see BF established before she had to run off and I never saw her again! Still don't know what milestones we need to reach/ condition we need to be in before going home

II feel like no one really has answers or knows what's going on - one lady came by to say she was going to help me shower once the catheter came out, and we got started, but then they brought lunch and she said shed be back after. Never returned. Asked about it later, and was told DH could help, there was a waterproof dressing so just go shower. I ended up sort of wiping down, and good thing - it turned out m y dressing wasn't waterproof and someone who came by while I was dressing after shower told me so and then had to change it, as it still had gotten a little wet. Then she was surprised to find staples instead of stitches (but I knew that, as dr said so after section). I feel like there isn't anyone who really knows my case.

I think BF is going well, although probably still colustrum. Managed to latch her on myself last several times and found it much easier than with MW 'helping' - worst was with MW who woke DD from sound sleep and tried to shove nipple in open screaming mouth for 10 mins, after which she suggested formula. I'm glad I perservered and BF, but that was very scary alone and in pain.

I don't trust cosleeping on these beds - no side rails to raise and don't want to sleep just holding her. Got a few naps - no more than 30-40 mins, but felt longer - when DH held her. There was time she was sleeping quietly in crib, but someone came by every 10 min or so for all sorts of random things (change sheets, empty bins, looking for 'dirty dishes' though no one had fed me, etc).

Ugh, and to top it all off, my crazy overbearing Mum phoned me here! From the US. She searched online, called my NHS trust and eventually found her way to the maternity ward. I thought the one good thing about being here was DH had to update her, not me. She spent phone call moaning about how hard it was to not be able to talk to me and not knowing what is going on - even though DH has phoned her 2-3 times a day since I came into hospital and has also been sending emails with photos since DD was born. I'm not sure how much more contact she would expect from me! Making me worried how many phone calls a day she'll expect once we're home. At least I believe I disauded her from calling the unit again - MWs seemed bemused to get call from the States, but I can't imagine they'd be happy if she kept it up.

Anyway, thanks again for the support and stories. I still feel like I don't know what is going on, but I think I am doing well. Hopefully I can go home soon. It is really nice to be walking, and on

Eek, posted accidentally...almost done!

On positive side, SPD much improved (could not walk unaided before, now can take slow steps and it seems wound not SPD responsible for limitation) :)

Hate this place! Hate it!

Sorry. Barely slept since went into labour Sat. Barely keeping it together and not helped by being here. So frustrating only time they leave you alone is middle of night and not allowed DH to stay and help. DD slept 5 hr straight today - if home would have followed 'sleep when baby sleeps' but can't here because of all interruptions. And useless ones - fill out lunch order and stuff like that, never anyone who can answer my questions!

Now DD feeding every hr, and nipples hurt! Also think I am getting the few day old weeps - just burst into tears 3 times in last few hours. Was planning to have DH watch out for me during this time because of history of depression, but instead all alone. (4 times) Just bled a bunch and no idea if worrying as never got any info. Up and walking and carrying DD, don't know if did too much or not. But so happy to take care of her rather than last night when people wouldn't hand her to me because too soon after her last feed and I had to just rock crying cradle until someone believed she could be hungry.

So want to be home. So much better with DH here. Really don't understand that rule. Want to sleep! Scared same thing will happen as yesterday - DD finally go down for long sleep at shift change and I don't get sleep again.

Sorry. Unhappy and moaning and Internet and you all only thing out there can reach to right now.

You poor sod. I remember being in hospital post both DDs and it is shit. Everything you say about the interruptions and people saying they will come back and then disappearing rings true. A while ago on MN there was a thread about postnatal care and everyone posting horror stories so your experiences are very common.
Bear in mind that at each shift change there will be a new mw assigned to you, so I always used to hold our hope that a new mw would be better and explain things more.
Baby feeding a lot is good- LO is doing what she needs to do to up your supply, text book stuff.
Remember MN is always here for you, you are not alone!

Sorry you are having a rubbish time. I had a similar experience with my dd and the only thing I would do differently is get out of hospital ASAP! I swear I had nearly a week of very little/no sleep (although it may be exaggerated in my mind now)
I had catheter for 24hrs and then instructed to shower on my own and peel off the dressing in the shower. I'm surprised that your dh isn't allowed to be there all day as mine was. My dd slept quite a bit during the day and then was awake in the night. But do keep on with the bf, I'm sure it will work out ;) I thought I must be doing it wrong for ages but in the end I bf her for 16mths! As the others have said keep taking the pain relief even if you think you don't need it!
Anyway, I sympathise with your situation and hope you get some rest or to go home soon.

The earliest you can go home following a cs is day 2- with day 1 being the day of the op- so that was yesterday. The norm really is to let you go on day 3 which is what you're on now. If you are happy with weeing, moving around etc then as soon as the morning staff are on then push for discharge. Get your dh there, pack up your things and ask over and over and over again. Tell dh to ask over and over again.

Has the paed done the newborn checks for dd?

The baby blues really do take you by surprise, you will feel weepy and a bit panicky. Please accept that this is normal and don't at this moment in time worry that it will escalate into anythinge else. Your hormones are coming down and you're also battling exhaustion, your milk will start coming in and you've been through a traumatic event.

You need a period of being really, really well looked after, your body allowed to rest and synchronise with the needs of your dd and to get to know your dd and all that she brings with her. When I had my 2nd, I was able to do this in the hospital as the care was brilliant but first time round with dd, it was the same as what you're going through now. No continuity of care, shocking treatment, noise, disturbances, lack of dignity, confusion, loneliness etc. In fact the cleaner was the only person who helped me with bfing or gave me a kind word. While you're there, can you make sure everything is in reach for you -drinks, snacks, remote etc, cuddle your dd as much as you can, look at her, pay attention to all the little details, sniff her, breathe her in, sing to her, talk to her, put her on your chest and let her self latch. Make a nest and prepare for the relief of going home. Will you have plenty of support at home? My best advice to you as somebody who had a horrid postnatal experience after a traumatic emcs is to stop. When you go home don't push on, smile, accept 9 million visitors and phonecalls, get up and do housework, try and pretend it's not a massive shock. Get proper bfing support (lansinoh on your nipples, btw, have you some?) and otherwise build a little nurturing environment and properly welcome your dd into your family with quiet and milk and endless cuddles. Feeding lying down and snoozing were the single best things I did in those early days.

If you are worried atm- bleeding, dd unsettled, anything then press your buzzer. Press it all through the night if you need to. The bleeding is normal. If you're moving around too it will be more than it was yesterday. Like a really, really heavy period. I passed clots, some as big as 50 pence pieces, all normal. It shouldn't smell or hurt but moving around a lot, especially after lying down can make it seem quite heavy. Two maternity pads are sometimes necessary ime.

Oh I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can remember it like it was yesterday. You feel very, very vulnerable and I promise you it'll get better. They're letting you down badly.

www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/recovering-after-a-caesarean
any help?

Warning! This "amelia33" has been trolling all over the Pregnancy forum. It has been reported and will hopefully be dealt with in the morning.

Not just pregnancy sadly. Ignore.

OP ask any questions you need to on here. No matter how trivial. I'm praying you're getting some sleep.

Thanks for kind replies. DD feeding almost constantly, barely enough time for nipple to dry and apply lansinoh ( yes, have some! Saw in boots and got, after hemming over price. Glad I did. It appears to help, but still very sore. ). Starting to worry she's sucking so much because not getting any? But she wouldn't suck so long if it didn't work, right? And I appear to have little white stuff on tips when she's done. Pretty sure still colustrum - it gets stiff when dry? Oh wait, could that be the lansinoh all sucked up?

Ugh. Really need to sleep, but DD needs to stop eating first! So tired having 'head nod' drift-offs and mini 2sec dreams. Getting worried will nod off completely hike holding DD.

Good morning OP! Your daughter is sucking lots to bring your milk in (and because she adores you and wants to be close to you). The way to tell if she is "getting enough" is wees/poos/weight gain, not length of time on the breast (all babies are different) or what is on your breast after she feeds. So just keep on with the good work of giving her unrestricted access to the breast and let her do her stuff! If you're worried about sore nipples then ask someone to check her latch - as futurenannyogg suggested up thread, ask about the bf counsellor as MWs don't always offer the best advice or have the time to spend. Basically, your DD needs to open her mouth lovely and wide, not just suck on your nipple. This can take a bit of time for both of you to learn, don't worry, just persevere!
Catnaps all normal. If you are worried about dropping her, hold her on the side nearest the wall (if you can!). I'm surprised you say your bed has no bed rails, are you totally sure? They can be hard to see when folded and when no one has given you a guided tour of your bed....
Nearly visiting time.... Hang on in there...

Finally got 30 min sleep, in between two feeds. DD woke me up for next one just before the first morning interruption: toilet cleaning. And now she's sleeping again, but morning in full swing! Though hormones must do something incredible, as I feel actually rather rested from my 30 min.

Asked about going home - paed still needs to see DD and I need a check. They also just took bloods from me. Asked again about physio, also told would come. I hope all those things happen.