Hate hospital - want out of here!! (EMCS)

[silver23]

Child birth long and problematic, ending in EMCS Sun AM. But actually happy with whole thing. What I'm really unhappy about is the aftercare. What's upsetting me is:

Alone - have private rooms here. See no reason DH can't be with me whenever we want - only allowed either 2-8pm or 10am-8pm (unclear, diff people say died things).

Information - I know nothing a out CS recovery. No one telling me anything. I had to ask if I was bleeding out my vagina. Told a MW no one told me anything, she asked what did I want to know. I know so little I do t know what to ask! Confused, I asked when I would be able to walk. She just talked about 'major surgery' in answer. Still don't know when can get out of bed.

Breast feeding - three diff midwives have helped, all give contradictory info and none the same as NHS prenatal class. Already suggested formula, when DD less than 12 hr old! (I suggested trying more and she finally fed)

Crib - planning to cosleep, but DD in separate little crib. She very unhappy alone and won't settle -- only sleep I've gotten is with my arm over edge touching her. She sleep well with me holding her, but I can't sleep then!

I'm almost In tears. I hate it here and want to go home. But assume good reasons to keep me the min 48 hr they said - I still have catheter and haven't yet walked!

Not sure why posting - just moan and want support...

Oh god I hated it in hospital too. V interesting that you don't actually need the paed to do the check. Also, in our area you can self-refer to physio - don't know if that's the same for you but I don't think it's necessarily something you need to wait in hospital for.

Everyone told me not to rush out of hospital, in fact to stay in as long as they would let me, and I'm trying to remember that in case it happens again. There was a tiny, tiny part of me when I got home and had to return to the reality of cleaning up, visitors, shopping, generally learning how to do normal stuff with a baby in tow, that missed hospital just a tiny, tiny bit.

But your post brings back all the frustration, the impatience, the homesickness, the desperation to get back to making a home in our new little family unit, and the ridiculous lack of privacy.... urrggh I feel your pain! Hope you're out very soon.

PS is your room as hot as the Sahara?? I was in a single room too. DS was 'listless' which meant we had to stay even longer, but so was anyone who entered the room - it was Summer and I sweated my way through everything I owned, and DH kept bringing me rooti tooti 'peephole' tops without anything suitable to wear on top, so I looked like I was auditioning for some sort of fetish porn.

Remember the mantra - this too will pass - it'll come in useful many times over the next few years (decades for all I know!) and it's always true x

Oh yes. You have night sweats anyway as you sweat out the excess fluid. But it's SO hot on postnatal wards. I was dripping with sweat the whole time.

I wouldn't skip the physio tbh, not after an emcs. Tell them you want them to come round asap. I had a mild diastasis recti which the physio picked up and I needed to be careful not to make it worse/to help it heal (physio showed me how).

Hey,just to say I know what your going through had it with my first after an emergency c-section,after care was dire! keep up the bf I read somewhere that a c-section baby may take longer to get the hang of it as they have not been pushed out a such ( this could be a mith) but was true with mine but he got the hang of it. You will be home soon, and my advice would be, summon up all your strength, (easier said than done when you are in your position,I remember it well, very vunerable and upsetting) and get bolshy like us woman can! Push your buzzer and ask all the questions you want to ask, and if you don't get the answers push it again, and keep pushing the question when you will be discharged? The only people who matter are you and your baby so don't worry if you feel like you are upsetting anyone! Hope you get home soon take care.xxx

Discharge yourself. 5 years ago I had EMCS after 36 hour labour at 8.30 Thurs night and had discharged myself by midday on the Sat. If you arent getting the care you need there and you will at home then just leave!

Home, yeah! Thank you all for your support during those horrid days :)

I finally got some sleep at home last night, with DH around to help with DD. shift change yesterday seemed to bring on a set of competent people! Saw a lady from the 'nursery' for the first time and she had the first sensible breastfeeding advice. I told her I hoped to go home today and she put me down for the paed and also told the midwife looking after me. I got blood tests I should have gotten the first day, saw the physio, and people said all sorts of positive things about how often DD fed - completely diff from the night when they refused to hand to her to me because she couldn't possibly want to feed again already!

PIL flying in today, so we should have lots of help around the house.

Thanks again. It was so good to be able to reach out somewhere when everything felt so terrible.

Glad things are looking brighter! And huge congrats, new mum! X x

Hi Silver,

Congrats on your new arrival!

Just a thought about BFing - is your community midwife approachable? She should be coming round to see you when you are discharged and will be able to help with BFing. I found mine to be fantastic and they have so much more time than the ones in the ward. Another good thing about BFing at home is you will have all your comforts around you, DH on hand for cups of tea and water and you will be able to get into a more relaxing position. Again, your community MW or BF counsellor can help you with positions to try that might help DD with a better latch so it's not so uncomfortable for you.

I found the Lansinoh cream did wonders, but also just time (unfortunately) for both me and DD to learn what to do! Do you have any BFing support at your local children's centre? That was great for me too.

Best thing to remember is, this will pass. It will. I promise. I think for most of us, BFing is tough at the beginning, but try and stick at it if you can (and don't worry about having a cry about it when you want to - thats totally normal!) Once you have mastered it, it's such a healthy and convenient way of feeing your baby!

Any news of when you are busting out of hospital? Really hope it's soon, if not today :)

Ooooh, just saw that you are home! Don't think my computer had refreshed this thread, so I didn't know that when I posted a couple of mins ago.....

Great news.

Congratulations on your little one.

I'm so sorry it didn't go as you wanted and the after care has been so poor :(

What other support do you have around you, other than your DH? Rally the troops and don't be shy to ask for help! I had a client (who had an EMCS) who called me at any hour of the day or night, just because in hospital she was bored and lonely and it was so hard to get any rest... and that is OKAY! I didn't mind at all.

You've just had major surgery so let others do housework and so on when you get home :)

About your milk - After a normal birth it usually "comes in" on day 3, ish. After a section it can take a little longer, although if you did go into labour, that will help HUGELY, because those hormones are all part of the process.... In the meantime, newborn tummies are teeny tiny and colostrum is really really rich and just right for these first few days :) If you do need help, maybe ask if there is a midwife who specialises in lactation and if there is, maybe talk to her for advice rather than the others (who might or might not know much about BF)...? Just a suggestion.

This might sound daft but bear with me - hold your baby as much as you can! Preferably skin on skin! It will help get all the right hormones flowing to help with bonding and milk production and all that kind of thing. It can also help your mood and help you to heal emotionally from the stresses of the birth. It might sund silly, but sometimes relatives all want a cuddle and you can end up feeling quite worn down with hundreds of dirty cups and no milk and THEY go away with that lovely oxytocin boost from holding YOUR baby!

I hope you get some answers soon and some decent, consistent care....