'Not allowed' to see maternity ward?

[RosyRosie]

This is my first (37+4) and I'm NOT happy about going into hospital. I've never been in hospital for myself, I hate the idea of the manky food, being fussed over, having to do smalltalk with other people, and so on, so it's not my choice to go. Everyone gets the horrors when I mention a home birth though. We live less than 40mins from York hospital and all is normal so far but 99% of people I speak to go into palpitations if I mention it so I don't know if I'm being stupid to press the point...

So I asked a midwife about seeing the maternity ward so I at least know where I'm going. I got told no, they don't do tours anymore. I don't so much want a tour though, just a peep because I've never been near one in my life!? I dunno what's in there, how it works, nothing! When I asked her what it'd be like she said 'oh you dont get a room to yourself, you're in 2s and 4s'..........what!? to actually give birth? I'm told that you actually deliver by yourself but she didnt mention it so, I wonder?

'People' then told me that was rubbish, so I decided to try another midwife today - same answer, no. Because of 'risk of infection'.....am I likely to be more diseased now than when I actually give birth?

My mum says we're just going to go in on a guerilla-style recce anyway because it's ridiculous I can't even SEE the ward beforehand. Has anyone else come across this? If I can't see it before I go I don't know that I want to go and may start getting very stubborn about it! The whole thing sounds horrendous.

first of all calm down

most hospital don't do tours because of infection control. you will give birth in a room on your own, with at least 2 midwifes. then you will be moved to a ward.

good luck with 'guerilla-style recce' they won't let you in and the doors are kept locked

I can always fake labour :D

You will have your own room to labour and birth in, then small wards/bays for recovery time later on.

People can bring you nice food in. Lots of places don't do tours - if you were in labour would you want tourists with germs coming round for a nosey?

If you don't want to go, then don't. You could plan a homebirth if you wanted and then you would only go to hospital if there was a clinical need, it's your decision.

I was assuming that on a ward you wouldnt be shown into a room where someone was actually doing the do! Just literally a look around. Where's the toilets? Is there baths, showers etc? Where actually is it in the hospital, how do you get in the door? All that sort of stuff. :S

If you were due to have an operation and stay in hospital they wouldn't let you wander round the hospital to familiarise yourself would they?

You sound like you want/need a homebirth - why don't you plan for that instead? It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks/feels about it - you are the one who has to give birth!
I felt like you about hospitals and had 3 perfect homebirths. I remember being told about how first time labours slow or contractions stop on arrival at hospital, I live 5mins away from a good hospital and even had a water pool at home to give birth in. I cannot recommend it enough, I really did get the exact births I wanted and planned for.

My local hospital website have a virtual tour so you can see video and pictures of the delivery rooms.
When you are in actual labour and delivering your baby....watch One Born Every Minute to see how it works in a hospital. I haven't given birth in a hospital but it seems very appropriate to me to get a feel for what it'll be like.

There's going to be strangers wandering about all over the shop when i go in anyway, what does it matter if they are actually labouring or not?

I have watched OBEM, but everyone tells me 'it's not like that in real life'...when, i thought that was the point of it? I was perfectly happy with how it looks on OBEM, but when the midwife started going on about rooms of 4 and not being allowed in....

Hi Rosy - It doesn't sound as though the midwives are being particularly helpful in providing information. Given how you feel about hospital, can I make a suggestion re the idea of home birth? There are a lot of really good threads on here which you can search for, detailing people's experience of hb, which will give you much more rounded view.

I had a home birth - and although I have nothing against hospitals as a valid choice and in fact a very sensible option for many, I had a really good hb experience. I also didn't decide for sure until about 35 weeks, so you do still have that option, as well as the option to transfer at any time during the initial stages of labour.

OTOH, the things you mention are quite easily dealt with if you and your partner are primed. You don't have to eat their horrid food, you can bring your own. It is unlikely that anyone will fuss over you unnecessarily, particularly if your partner is there to fend them off, and as for small talk, if all goes smoothly you'll likely as not be out of there within hours of giving birth, so not much opportunity for small talk, and chatty midwives are quite used to labouring women grumpily telling them that they don't want to talk, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

I highly recommend this book if you'd like a bit more reassurance about whole experience, too. www.amazon.co.uk/Ina-Mays-Guide-Childbirth-Gaskin/dp/0091924154/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331124561&sr=1-4

Good luck, whatever you decide.

The rooms of four etc are just for recovery.

It's just like OBEM.

If you really hate the idea that much have a home birth.

When actually giving birth you will probably have an en suite, when in recovery there will be communal showers/loos off the side of the ward you're on

Do they have a video on their website so you can do a virtual tour? My hospital did this

OBEM is 'not like that in real life' for some, and quite accurate for others. There's no 'one fits all' experience - I think it would really help you to do some reading. You sound really worried, and it's not a nice way for you to be approaching what could well end up being a really lovely experience. I do feel for you - I know I worried a lot more about the small things in the approach to giving birth and the first few weeks with a new baby - it's your brain's way of trying not to dwell to much on the big things, I think, like Will it be agony? and Am I going to be a good mother? Y'know, just tiny things like that !

Gosh when I had dd in hospital I wasn't fussed over at all, rather was left to it a lot of the time!

Don't confuse the maternity ward with the delivery room.

The delivery room is your own personal room where you will have the baby - midwifes are there, your birth partner and anyone else who needs to be there (I had students there both times), but no other mothers.

The maternity ward is where you go after the birth to recover. It was 4 beds in my hospital, but they all have a curtain that can go around for privacy. You don't have to make small talk if you don't want to (I didn't) and can 'cocoon' in your bed with the baby if you want. Dads and siblings have extended visiting hours.

My hospital did tours of the delivery rooms (obviously not where women were in labour - it's not a spectator sport after all), but not the maternity ward. I don't think I'd be too happy with groups of people touring the maternity ward where I was recovering, visiting hours are noisy enough, and there is of course the risk of infection.

Hope that clarifies it.

Forgot to add, my delivery room had an ensuite where you could shower in privacy, the maternity ward had shared facilities.

You're being a tad overdramatic to say you'll go in guerilla style . I was given a tour of the labour suite, but I can understand that they don't want people gawping at the wards where the other mums will be recovering. It'll be a very simple set up I imagine. You'll go in in labour, and go straight to your own delivery room. All yours, and will probably have an ensuite shower and toilet. After delivery you'll be put on a ward, again with about 4 beds (I've given birth twice now and there was only ever one other person on the ward with me though, and the curtains allow for privacy. You really won't be making small talk. The shower and toilets will be a few feet away. You're really not missing much by not going for a look beforehand. As for hospital food, the chances are you'll be discharged quickyl anyway, particuarly if you so clearly don't want to be there.
If it's bothering you that much, why not start a thread asking for people'e experiences of that particular hospital?

Lots of good advice here. Firstly, there is no reason you should not have a home birth if you are low risk and everything continues to be fine. 99% of people have no experience or knowledge of home birth, which is why they freak out when you mention it, so just don't talk to them about it. It is safe, though you need to prepare yourself for the fact that transfer rates are very high for first time mothers (mainly for failure to progress, pain relief etc - NOT dire emergenices) so you may end up in hospital of course.

Secondly, if the birth goes well and you and the baby are fine afterwards, you don't even need to stay in and go to the ward. Lots of women have early discharges after about 4 hours.

Thirdly, the wards aren't THAT bad. And yes, you are very unlikely to be fussed over!

I had both DCs in hospital due to inductions that took ages to get going.
I was in wards with a maximum of 3 other women, people kept to themselves mainly if you were in your bed but would chat if you were sat in the day room.
The maternity ward after the delivery had 2 women in, curtains were drawn for privacy and to be honest you're so caught up in your new baby that you are unaware of other people.
The food was fine, people bought me in supplies too and I have to say, when you're sat in bed on a swollen fanjo, birds nest hair and talking to a midwife about if you don't wee in the next ten minutes ages going to catheterise you, the last thing you would want is random people looking around the room that you're in!

If you go in when in active labour you'll get a private room. After you have delivered you can refuse to leave it for anything other than discharge.

Tbh I don't think yabu in wanting to see the place and would write in a complaint. There is plenty of evidence that labours go better when the woman is in a familiar environment, which is why Hbs are so good.

I don't think many hospitals let you see the maternity unit/ward due to risk of infection and security. And to be fair, I would not want a tour going on while I was on the ward recovering.

You will be told everything you need to know when you arrive in labour i.e. where the toilets are etc. It is not that vast that you won't be able to familiarise yourself within minutes.

Starlight, why would you refuse to leave the delivery room, particularly if the hospital need it? There is nothing wrong with recovering on a ward and there is no drop in standards between a delivery room and a ward. Surely if it is that important to you and you want your own private room you should pay to go private?

I wouldn't feel comfortable 'sitting in' in a delivery room either, particuarly if another woman might need it. It depends when you deliver I suppose. I would have been ok to go straight home after having ds, but it was 1 in the morning and we needed to wait til the morning to be seen by a paediatrician before discharge. I wouldn't have wanted to take the room (and at that time, it was the only one in the unit wth a pool) from someone who needed it. There's nothing wrong with being wheeled to the ward and waiting a couple of hours. I don't think I ever even drew my curtains back, I had no interest in the other people there other than me and ds.

i went to see a delivery suite.

is that what you wanted to see?

if you hate hospitals that much, have you thought about a home birth?

I had a tour of Scarborough maternity ward when I was expecting DS1. The MW suggested it and I know people that have been on tours of York too so it must be a new thing to not let you.

We saw a delivery suite and the birthing pool room.

We didn't see the ward.

There was no small talk. No one fussed over me. Though when I had my 2nd child and had to stay in cos' of minor concerns about him I did meet a lovely mum in the same circumstances as me and I still see her.

My hospital told me that it was due to swine flu that tours were initially refused 2-3 years back and that they just haven't reinstated them due to the general risk of infection and the added security risk.

ah right, this clarifies things greatly for me - you're right, I don't want to see a ward, wards are surely the same all over the place - rooms with beds in. I also don't mind going in one afterwards as I think if all goes well I'll be out pronto anyway! it's the delivery suite I'd be interested in...and the location within the hospital of course!

I'm also glad that you DO go into your own room on arrival/for delivery. It just worried me that when I asked about seeing it pretty much the first thing out of her mouth was 'oh you don't get your own room, you're in twos and fours'. and that's just where she left it! I thought there must be a reason she'd stress that above all points and tell me no more...