'Not allowed' to see maternity ward?

[RosyRosie]

This is my first (37+4) and I'm NOT happy about going into hospital. I've never been in hospital for myself, I hate the idea of the manky food, being fussed over, having to do smalltalk with other people, and so on, so it's not my choice to go. Everyone gets the horrors when I mention a home birth though. We live less than 40mins from York hospital and all is normal so far but 99% of people I speak to go into palpitations if I mention it so I don't know if I'm being stupid to press the point...

So I asked a midwife about seeing the maternity ward so I at least know where I'm going. I got told no, they don't do tours anymore. I don't so much want a tour though, just a peep because I've never been near one in my life!? I dunno what's in there, how it works, nothing! When I asked her what it'd be like she said 'oh you dont get a room to yourself, you're in 2s and 4s'..........what!? to actually give birth? I'm told that you actually deliver by yourself but she didnt mention it so, I wonder?

'People' then told me that was rubbish, so I decided to try another midwife today - same answer, no. Because of 'risk of infection'.....am I likely to be more diseased now than when I actually give birth?

My mum says we're just going to go in on a guerilla-style recce anyway because it's ridiculous I can't even SEE the ward beforehand. Has anyone else come across this? If I can't see it before I go I don't know that I want to go and may start getting very stubborn about it! The whole thing sounds horrendous.

People can bring you food, they don't force feed you theirs. Heck, last time I was barely in there long enough to eat a slice of toast, anyway. The midwives on the ward after you've had your baby, are going to be way too busy with everything else to be constantly fussing over you, chances are unless you need one you'll barely see them. And you'll probably find any other women on the ward are far too engrossed in their own babies to be bothered with small talk with you, as well.

That aside, have you tried googling for the unit at the hospital you're going to? Ours has a video tour of both the labour ward and the midwife led unit attached to the hospital.

Totally understand that you want to see the place. Very important to feeling like you're in control when it all kicks off.

Our hospital (not in the UK though) did a tour once a month that you could sign up for. That way they grouped everybody together. It cost 2 euros I think to cover some of their costs and presumably put off general nosy buggers and we were shown everything, plus plenty of time to speak to MWs etc.

Do you have friends who have given birth in that hospital. Or friends of friends who you could actually meet/email/call just to ask your questions. I don't know what the appointments system is like up to giving birth in the UK, but are you in an antenatal group where there are people who you could ask. Do you see the same MW/gyne regularly in the coming weeks so you could talk to them?

No I'm a long way from my family and have no local friends, but I googled and think I've found a virutal tour....dunno why i didnt think of that...or why is wasnt mentioned? sigh

There's a virtual tour of the maternity ward at York at the bottom of this page -
www.yorkhospitals.nhs.uk/?id=109&ob=1

Whilst you can't go and look around the ward beforehand I'd suggest you go for a drive and figure out where the entrances/car parks are etc, as the last thing you want to be doing whilst in labour is getting lost!

Our hospital did 'tours' and to be honest I think we were at risk of catching something it looked so filthy. It put me and the other two mums with me off the idea of giving birth there. We all opted for home births and the other two managed that - I ended up in there because of meconium. It wasn't so bad in the end but I still went for and succeeded with a home waterbirth for dc2, which was absolutely lovely.

No small talk was necessary, we hauled out of there 3 hours after the birth - you only have to stay longer or are 'advised' to stay longer if there are complications or if you have had an epidural, so don't worry about that - if you actually need the hospital you will be happy that everything is being done to deliver your baby safely. But I would plan a home birth if I were you (and I highly recommend a birth pool)

Rosy I live in between York and Scarborough and I have only heard brilliant things about York hospital compared to the crap about Scarborough. Even the midwife said she would go to York over Scarborough. I ended up going to Scarborough as I live about 40 mins from York and didn't want to risk the traffic.

There is a large multi storey car park at York hospital now so parking shouldn't be too bad.

But they can not refuse to let you have a homebirth. If that is what you really want then you can have one. Especially as you say everything is going well.

Look at www.homebirth.org.uk/ if you feel that is what you want.

I just think that if I'm fit enough to move, then I'll be moving home and nowhere else.

But I would insist on an undisturbed golden hour.

Timothy, if you are properly in labour when you arrive you shouldn't be able to process info such as where the toilets are etc. You are also going to labour better not disorientated.

Someone else has linked to the virtual tour which gives you an idea. The York hospitals website also includes a map of the hospital site. We did a practice run and the ward is super easy to find with parking outside it. Also you could ask your midwife for the leaflet 'Maternity services - information to assist with your maternity stay'. This gives you useful info about the ward at York, my community midwife gave me a copy at my last visit. It also details about 'amenity beds' so if you felt strongly about having your own room after leaving the delivery suite with your baby, you could do this. Amenity beds are single rooms with en-suite that you can pay for (as long as there's one available). York also offer a 6 hour discharge if everything's ok after birth and you want it, so you could be discharged straight from the delivery suite rather than go to the ward. This is mentioned on the virtual tour. Shame your community midwife hasn't given you more info (mine's also York area and has been fab re info), maybe ask them for more general info about the delivery suite, ward, etc. Hope it all goes well.

It really isn't that hard to take on basic info such as where the toilets are when you are in labour. To suggest that you can't process such information and that you will be disorienated is not particularly helpful to someone that has not been through their first labour.

Rosy definitely have a look at the virtual tour. That will show you exactly what the delivery rooms are like. Its easy to overthink the whole getting to hospital and where you go when you arrive but once you are actually doing it everything is perfectly straightforward. Good luck - exciting times!

I had my daughter 3 years ago and the hospital where I delivered her preferred expectant mums to stay away because of the swine flu outbreak at that time. So, when I went into labour, I had no idea what the delivery room/post-natal ward was like, either.

Once in the delivery room and in labour, I have to admit that the physical layout/space of the room didn't really bother me (although I was surprised by how tiny it was). I was more concerned about getting through the pain, and as it turned out to be a long labour that eventually required assisted delivery, I personally was glad to be in a hospital.

By the way, mine was a 'low risk' pregnancy, but my daughter had to be delivered by an OB via ventouse after 2 exhausting hours of pushing (made extra exhausting by a looooong latent phase and several hours of active labour; my refusal to eat/sleep/have anything stronger than gas & air... bit silly in hindsight). Anyway, I'm rambling. If a home-birth is what you want as other ladies have suggested on here, then go for it. I'm not someone who is going to hijack a thread and bring unnecessary negativity but don't let the fact that you haven't had a tour put you off hospital. Look at the hospital's website for pictures of the delivery rooms, ask ithers who have delivered at the sane hospital as where you're going.

Alternatively, could you birth in a MLU/birth centre? They tend to feel (or at least look) more like a home-space, less medicalised. If you like your privacy and feel that you don't want to mix (I am quite private and didn't want to mix!) then you could ask about the availability of or even paying for a side-room. The curtain around your bed works wonders as a 'back-off' barrier, too. I'd had enough being prodded and examined an felt especially anti-social (other than to family) in the immediate hours post-birth.

Whatever you decide, I hope that everything works out the way that you want it to x good luck

rosy - I gave birth to my dd in York hospital just 10 days ago. My experience was really positive - the staff are lovely.

We stayed in the delivery room for a couple of hours and then moved to g2, the post natal war.d. We asked for an amenity room - a private ensuite room which costs £85 a night. I think single rooms with just a basin are cheaper at around £50. Shame about the cost, but worth it IME. (although the ward was very quiet when I was there).

The bays have 4 beds in each I think, and toilets / bathrooms are very close on the main corridor.

Meals are served from a separate room on the ward, and you can help yourself to drinks, fruit, yoghurt etc at any time (i was raiding it at 3am following dd's birth - was starving!).

I think you said you found the virtual tour on the hospital website?? Definitely worth a look.

Hth and good luck!

Maybe if you're asking to see the labour ward (our hospital had separate ward for when you were actually in labour) or an empty delivery room rather than the maternity ward, they might allow it? The multiple people in room thing definitely applies to the maternity ward but not for when you're actually giving birth. Yes it is like OBEM.

my experience is that it's just like OBEM (although our midwife never once left the room all the time I was in there). Afterwards I went to the ward. I had a single room, many others were in 4 bed bays. TBH I'd have preferred to be in a bay - I was very lonely and a bit freaked out on my own with a baby in a room I didn't really leave (except for a shower - shared but spotlessly clean). My local hospital put all women who've had a caesarian in a 4 bedded bay so they are not bed bound and totally alone, normal deliveries get whatever is available (single/double/4 bedder) I stayed 3 nights after having DD to ensure feeding was well established, think after no2 I'll probably have 1-2 nights in.

I remember very little about the whole thing 3 yrs on except that I was well loked after, labour bloody well hurt and that the toast and tea I had after I got back from theatre from having my retained placenta removed was one of the best things I have ever eaten!

I'm learning things -- thanks to all those who cleared up the maternity/delivery ward issue.

Rosy, have you actually talked to someone on the delivery ward? I had three separate midwives (one community midwife and two who actually worked in the antenatal clinic in the same hospital as the wards) tell me that I wouldn't be allowed a tour (I'm heading into an MLU, but it's in a hospital). Then another community midwife told me that I should call the MLU and ask to come see their birthing pool and try it out because I have mobility difficulties. I happened to be at the hospital today and they let me do this no problem. So it might be worth it to call and see (for me, the number she told me to call was the same one you'd call if you were in labour). I was surprised that midwives who worked in the hospital didn't even know they'd be fine with a visit!

York hospital has a link for a virtual tour. Pls tell me you at least googled to check that?!

hi, I volunteer at the local hospital and do tours at the weekend. Our NHS trust had previously cancelled tours die to the cost, and then realised there were dozens of prospective midwifery students desperate for any experience on the maternity unit.

perhaps your NHS trust could do something similar? Why not suggest it to them?

from your posts I would agree with others that maybe you should look into the option of home birth if you really don't like the idea of hospital.

I think they should do a small tour,just to put your mind at ease,our hospital do one,me and my dd got a private one it was lovely,shown the room she would give birth in,shown the birthing pool,they just checked no one was using it,and then shown us a room if you needed help or where having an epidural,as more equipment in there,as it was she ended up in there at the end as she needed forceps,so it wasnt scarey to see all the machinery etc..

she had her own room to labour in,with on suite,and after as she had a bad time,she was on a lovely brand new ward with 6 beds,but as it was shaped round,it was private,and in her little bay,she had a sink,and wardrobe etc,and could keep the curtain half way round her bed for privacy.

I understand the bit about infection,but surely you looking around,would be no different ,than when visitors come in..

I am imagining four women giving birth at the same time in a big room - what a horror! You are always in a room on your own while you're giving birth (unless you have a very fast labour and don't make it!) and then you're moved to the ward afterwards. I only spent about 6 hours on the ward before I went home and the only people who came near me in that time were the paediatrician (to do DS's postnatal check) and the discharge midwife.