who did you tell when you went into labour?

[Cazm2]

Hi all posted in pregnancy but maybe better here! 37 weeks with first bubba. Wasn't planning on me and Dh letting anyone know when in labour however kmil has announced she wants to know Dh wavering. I might if things get complicated or need extra support tell my mum. But I don't want Dh constantly on phone with updates or disappearing mil is demanding. What did you do?

This is really interesting as I'm now overdue (due date was Monday) and there are a whole load of friends who have asked DH to text them when I eventually go into labour. But I can't see any benefit in this. I'd rather just tell them when the baby is safely here. It's not like we're going to be on the phone giving them hourly updates! As soon as we get in that hospital, our phones will be firmly switched off. Only people who need to know are my parents who have a five hour drive to get here and MIL who also has a long drive.

Told everyone :) well almost anyway. With DS (stborn) I rang my mum and siblings and my DH did the same before we went to hospital we did'nt update during though as it was night. With DD my waters broke and we rang loads of people it was fun then we walked to Ds nursery and dropped him saying Grandparents would be picking him up as I was off to have the baby the look on their faces was ace but its not like I was in pain at that point just leaking :) Then we updated people after checkup at hospital and until I was in actual pain then it only took 1.5hrs and she was out.

Don't think joy of phoning to say Baby was born was lessened by fact they knew it was coming...

My dd told me and her m-i-l.I was allowed to go to hospital but not in to see them till after the birth.I felt very privileged to be there so soon :)

I live overseas and was on the phone to my mum in London when my waters broke in my car. She declared "Oh my God, you call MrPudgy, I'll call everyone else!" - I had just left my office having been signed off (most people work up until the birth here) so I let my bosses know baby was on the way, along with some close friends who I knew would spread the word and 5 hours later, mini Pudgy arrived.
I was happy to let people know things were happening as we're a close knit community here and it was fun reading the "good luck" texts and emails as they came in. Would do the same the next time around!

I'd tell her if only to keep the peace, but then turn off your phones off. She clearly wants to know, and the likelihood is she hasn't considered that once she knows the fretting will be worse! I'm a bit cruel though!

Sounds like your DH is unable to say to her 'Sure Mum, we'll let you know when it begins if you really want to know, but I should warn you that after that there'll be no updates until s/he arrives - if you still want to know then that's fine, but we'd prefer not to have to put you through the worry since we won't have the time nor the inclination to run a bulletin service.' If he absolutely can't say that and she still insists, then tell her, don't mention you won't be in contact, but turn your phone off or ignore it. He can apologise later!

OH and that was it. I told him to tell my parents and he was appointed Head of Communications
We didn't let anyone know until I was admitted into hospital. It's a good flippin job, it was 48 hrs all in all.

I had a going into labour celebration dinner and party at my mums with my friends! First baby so very slow and I was v excited.

I went into hospital about 12 hours later and it was all shittola from there on in but the party bit at the beginning was ace.

I was early with DC1 so nobody knew until after the baby was born.

With DC2 I hid it from my mum to start with (I was actually at lunch with her and my sister knowing I was in labour) but I told my sister as she then looked after DC1 for a bit while I rushed to the shops to stock up on nice treats for afterwards . I must have been mad when i think now what I did (I wasn't near home to start with and I drove in the opposite direction to shop for the goodies I wanted) but hey ho, DC2 did manage to hold off until I got home.

We told my mum in time for her to be there at the birth (planned that way) and MIL very shortly the baby was born.

dc1. dp told his mum and was on phone texting quite alot. I was annoyed about it as he kept updating her and tbh, she wasnt bothered about me, just the baby. Told dp that he wasnt to do that if we had anymore.

mil and I do not see eye to eye anyway though

I, like you, wanted to keep it quiet, however in labour it doesn't always go that way! I rang my mum as my waters went first and I'd no idea what was going on so didn't want to over react. Then we told MIL to be fair. Both sets of parents were sworn to secrecy and DH was able to tell them as soon as baby had arrived. My DSIS is still cross that I didn't tell her I was in labour!

DH, then my parents, then the drunkard at the station where I had got off to turn around to come back home after my waters unexpectedly went at 34+5...

Then pretty much everyone as it was then 6 days before I actually went into established labour... But then only DH and my parents when I went into hospital with proper contractions.

My MIL said, when we phoned to say her grandson had arrived, "oh, I've missed everything then!" we still don't know what she was expecting to do at the hospital had we told her earlier!!!

The first time just DH, the second time DH and his mother who was staying with us then the ambulance service and the flying squad! The third time DH and his parents (who came to look after the other two DC). On a need to know basis really. Phoned everyone afterwards but was very quick with all three so too busy panting to be on the phone! I think if people are told it is happening they will worry more/want to get involved etc.

For both DDs, we told both sets of parents. DH is self employed and his customers ring him constantly, so at 9am (fairly stages both times) I insisted he sorted out work - meaning change his voicemail to 'wait until tomorrow for me to call you back'. He interpreted this as ringing them all to tell them why he'd be out of contact and to discuss the days work, so all his customers knew too. It didn't stop them ringing throughout the day anyway , or him answering occasionally (to discuss boring work, they weren't interested in baby progress)

Told DH - was at 5.30am on the due date - and went off to have a bath. He went back to sleep! Didn't have any parents to tell.

I think we're going to tell my parents (DH has none to tell, unfortunately) and then say 'We'll switch off our phones now so we can focus on the delivery. We'll let you know when we're ready for visitors, but first children can take several days.'

My parents live 4 hours' drive away so won't want to visit straight away but I know they'll appreciate the notice. They're not the sort to ambush the Maternity Ward! If they were...we would wait. And phones would be off!

DD1 (born at 34+6) - The Family Liaison Officer, the Army's compassionate travel from overseas officer and the masses of people who sorted out DH flying back from Iraq, Mum and Dad. I didn't speak to DH until a few hours after she was born.

DD2 - my friend who I was supposed to be meeting up with, my mum who looked after DD1 and of course DH.

DS - when I first laboured at 32+6 - my friend who came to look after DD1 and DD2 until my mum took over, my mum's colleague who answered the phone, most of the church congregation who were all praying for us. When I had him at 37 weeks, my mum who came to look after the DDs and our next door neighbour who came to help us faff about with car seats in the middle of the night having heard us outside

Thanks for your replies interesting reading. My parents are happy not to be told unless I need my mum should something happen. She doesn't want the worry. My mil would be a constant distraction on phone and as my first and had a mmc with first pregnancy I am anxious enough already till baby gets here without that hassle. It's just the way she said she wants to be told, I didn't really find it her place to demand. I am already dreading when I come home she will be here 9 till 9

My midwife. I did tell DH but he's not at his sharpest at 3am and he went 'urgh mpffff' and pretty much went on sleeping. Even when I took the bottom sheet off because my waters had broken all over it.

DM and DMil ( who was looking after our dog). In retrospect I wouldn't have let DM know until I was ready to start pushing as all she did was worry that something had gone wrong because she thought I was taking so long (told her when we went to the hospital at 09:30 and I had DS at 18:42!)

The midwives running the maternity assessment unit. They didn't believe me and sent me to the waiting room. Didn't fancy giving birth in there so went back to them again to say my contractions were really quite close now. They grudgingly agreed to assess me and then all hell broke loose because I was 9cm and they didn't want me to have the baby right there either .
Apparently they don't believe you can be in labour if you can talk rationally and just turn slightly pale every minute or so... Just as well I didn't phone them first to ask if I should come in because dd2 would have been born at home that way.

What about those of you who had elcs? Did you tell people the date in advance?