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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

who did you tell when you went into labour?

121 replies

Cazm2 · 04/03/2012 22:22

Hi all posted in pregnancy but maybe better here! 37 weeks with first bubba. Wasn't planning on me and Dh letting anyone know when in labour however kmil has announced she wants to know Dh wavering. I might if things get complicated or need extra support tell my mum. But I don't want Dh constantly on phone with updates or disappearing mil is demanding. What did you do?

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StrawberrytallCAKE · 07/03/2012 09:47

I was induced but asked my dh to call my dm and mil just before dd was born so that they could meet her straight after we had. I think it's lovely as they got to have that initial bond with her too.

Astronaut79 · 07/03/2012 09:49

First time was meant to be dh, but after 9 months of hyper-alert, he didn't answer the phone cos he was on the toilet and thought I was phoning to ask what he wanted from Asda!

I had to phone his work, tell them and have them send out a search (it's a big place)!

Second time, told mum cos she was looking after ds.

Bramshott · 07/03/2012 09:50

I wouldn't. Just told DH and with DD2, the people who were looking after DD1 (friends). Calling my mum to say "hi, I've just had a baby" was one of the best moments of my life (twice!).

Original poster

Cazm2 · 07/03/2012 09:52

I am going to stick to my guns my dm doesn't want to know I think it will be lovely to phone people!

OP posts:

KnitterNotTwitter · 07/03/2012 09:53

DH only with DS. Couldn't bear the thought of assorted grandparents-to-be fretting. I'm sure they'd love to be 'informed' but to be honest they can't do anything to help and i've only really ever heard bad stories - it always turns out to be high-drama for the grandparents and all you hear about afterwards is how awful it was for them NOT KNOWING.

One strategy is to tell the MIL that you'll keep her informed but then say that you weren't allowed to use the mobile phone in the labour room in the hospital because of all the equipement so couldnt' tell her. As soon as you're 'allowed' to then obviously you'll phone to tell her the happy news and 'apologise'...

ghosteditor · 07/03/2012 09:59

We didn't tell anyone until I was in the delivery suite and progressing well - as it happens, I was 8.5cm on arrival so I think DH called parents and my closest friends (at my request then). That was late at night so they all went to bed wondering. Fortunately DD was born at 1am so they didn't have to wait long!

Like others have said , our parents wanted to drive down to visit, but due to complications with my health I actually had to stay in hospital for a week. My folks visited but spent quite a lot of time complaining that they'd booked a B&B to stay in when all along they could have stayed at my house because DD and I were in hospital! Wow, sorry that my hospital stay interfered with your plans

Thaney · 07/03/2012 10:03

My friend who was supposed to be keeping me company for the day as it was my due date.

The builder who was coming round to finish things off, he was a star, tidied everything up and put away my internet food shop.

DH's boss as he wasn't going to be in work. As I work in the same place, I imagine most of my work friends actually knew.

I really didn't want my parents or IL's to know as they would have just spent the day pacing around getting stressed. It was really nice when DH phoned them to congratulate them on becoming grandparents.

Dancergirl · 07/03/2012 10:06

Don't tell anyone!

Who wants that pressure of waiting in-laws and possibly unwanted phone calls for updates?!

Don't do it - phone round with your news when the baby arrives.

TeeBee · 07/03/2012 10:06

You are his family now and you should be his main concern on the day - not his mother. He can always say that it was all so panic-stricken he had to go into emergency mode and concentrate on getting you to hospital safely.

Poledra · 07/03/2012 10:13

My mum knew all 3 times because she was my lift to the hospital (DH doesn't drive) and was staying with us. So, she also told my dad and, on my instruction, called my ILs to tell them (as it didn't seem fair for my parents to know and not the ILs). None of them are the sort of people to keep on calling- they assumed that DH would keep them informed.

Mum did say she couldn't settle at all while I was in labour, and was pacing rond my house looking for things to do when I was having DD1. With the subsequent DCs, she baked cakes with the other children to keep busy (nice idea, mum - thanks!).

Poledra · 07/03/2012 10:14

BTW, Thaney, wasn't your builder just lovely!

dlady · 07/03/2012 10:16

First time, dh only texted his workmate, they used to carshare so obviously dh wouldn't want a lift in the morning (waters broke at 2am). We didn't call parents, until it was a 'fait accompli', I didn't want my mum worrying all night about me.
Second time, was induced so had to call both parents as they were looking after dd1.

spiderlight · 07/03/2012 10:36

DH, obviously. Then a close friend when DH broke the hose attachment to the birth pool and we had to send him out on a mission to find a replacement! Told another friend later in the day so she could come and look after our dogs, and my dad because he phoned me when I was about 6cm and realised something was up ('I don't want you to worry but I think the baby might be coming today.' 'OH! Well, I'm having my ears syringed tomorrow!' :o ). I also had a thread running on a forum where I have lots of close friends, although I got a rollicking for not updating the instant DS arrived! :)

BabydollsMum · 07/03/2012 11:20

Unfortunately (and you probably don't want to hear this - sorry!) mine was so long that we had to tell both sets of parents otherwise they'd have thought we'd disappeared. Just make sure DH is by your side AT ALL TIMES - I remember screaming blue murder at mine when he was on the phone texting my mum - in hindsight she was probably worried sick so he was right to do so. Had it been quicker I don't think we would have told anyone TBH.

TheSurgeonsMate · 07/03/2012 11:22

DH, who had to call his parents to drive us to hospital, and then of course my mum, who DH had decided would support me at the birth while he went to work. Obviously, everyone at DH's work, (which as it happens is my work too) as he arrived looking a bit shattered. I imagine by this stage, what with DH's mum being in and out, that quite a number of members of his family knew too. DH's friends would probably all have known except that it was quite a busy day at work, and I would think he probably didn't have time to call them.

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 07/03/2012 11:29

with DC1 i told both sets of parents and siblings and obviously DH, this was fine except it meant my dad (who i was never even particularly close to) turned up at hospital when my legs were still in stirrups getting stitched FFS and he wouldnt leave till he saw "his grandson" DS is now nearly 3yo and he's seen him less than 5 times since. PITA

with DC2 i said didnt want anyone to know except DH and mums (MIL was looking after DS and my mum would have been really upset if i hadnt told her) but everyone was under strict instructions to keep it off FB and away from my dad! oh and told everyone on antenatal thread on MN

mousymouseafraidofdogs · 07/03/2012 11:44

first time, no one
second time only the babysitter

carrotsandcelery · 07/03/2012 11:52

Loads of people knew with me.

I was out with my ddad and dh when it began and we met a few friends while we were out so it was impossible not to say to them when I went quiet every few minutes. Ddad obviously told dmum.

I was supposed to be meeting with a crowd of good friends that night so they all knew and had a great time in the pub wondering how I was getting on.

None of them had had dcs at that point so didn't really know how sore it was so weren't worried, just really, really excited.

We turned our phones off when we went into the hospital though so weren't pestered with calls when hard labour began.

Dmum was in the delivery room about 15 mins after dd was born and was there for the first feed etc. It was lucky she did come as I fell unconscious and had to be ambulanced to the main hospital. (I was totally fine). Dmum held dd while I had drips put in etc.

SausageSmuggler · 07/03/2012 12:03

First time everyone knew because I was being induced and live on facebook. This time it'll probably just be parents as someone has to look after DS and DH obviously. Though if I have to get him home from work then his colleagues will all know too.

InsomniaQueen · 07/03/2012 12:11

Im not telling anyone until baby has arrived - after my SIL have to go through people ringing BIL whilst she was delivering the placenta I have told DH that no one is to be rung until after baby is born, I've had my shower and I'm eating my tea and toast! Poor SIL is still pretty upset about how things happened but doesn't want to rock the boat so didn't tell anyone but me......I on the other hand have no such concerns!!!!

I do think mobile phones have invaded the birth 'space' too much - it's almost as if because you have a phone you have to answer it regardless of what is happening. DH has been told that once we arrive at hospital both mobiles are going off......I don't want to hear his mother on the other end of the phone asking for every tiny detail whilst I'm trying to concentrate on my breathing!!!

Napdamnyou · 07/03/2012 12:12

DH who then told his employers at my insistencethat he would not be coming in since the unreasonable fuckers had been making him work til 2am all week.

Labour took 3 days and we were knackered before the baby arrived. Still cross about it now, over a year of crap sleep later

Spookey80 · 07/03/2012 12:18

My family all really excited and I was so kind of in the zone, so mum, dad and mil waited outside- thy prob wouldnt have left even if I d wanted them too, because thru were all so excited. Second time round mil had dd, so just mum and dad outside.
Everyone very happy and excited fr us, but totally individual choice.

startail · 07/03/2012 12:35

The friend who was due to baby sit DD1.
to say I'd ring again when I needed her.

I didn't tell DD1, who slept through the whole thing - home birth.

So I rang my friend to say not to worry.

She did worry and came round with presents for both DDs and, after her DDs had cooed over DD2 and played for a bit she swept DD1 off for a nice long tea so DH, DD1 and I could have a jolly good sleep.

RosyRosie · 07/03/2012 12:41

I don't care who gets told but there's rules - my husband concentrates on ME during the birth, NOT his phone. In fact, phones will probably be banned for the duration - on silent, in my safekeeping :D I would like my mum to be there, but don't want MIL anywhere near me. We have a strained relationship and while she's VERY excited to be getting her first grandchild, she's such a silly sod with me sometimes I can't face her being around!

Almostfifty · 07/03/2012 12:52

No-one for the first, just the two of us. The next three, just the people looking after the others.

Brilliant. No phone calls, no worrying, just us and the baby.

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