Tips for DH during labour. What to do and what not to do.

[GrooveIsInTheFart]

Dh is to some extent still in shock about the prospect of impending fatherhood and birth.

I wanted to show him this thread so he has some idea of what the labour and birth might be like.

We have been disappointed by the limited advice/classes avalible in our area.

So Mn, what does he need to know?

might print this off for mr g to re read while in labour

Best things my DH did:
remain calm and quiet; tell me I was doing brilliantly, how proud he was, how I looked fine (as I was apologizing to all for being a mess/being sick etc); rub my back/hold my hand/find some way of touching me in a reassuring way even when I was in the pool; not take too great an interest in the messy end unless he was encouraged to; NO photos or filming; bring a thoughtful gift when he came to collect us
Things DH could have done better:
not get off on the gas and air once we were left alone after the birth as he "deserved it"; not fallen asleep straight after that and proceeded to sleep through most of the next three days in my bed (we were in our own room in lovely MLU) while I entertained visitors etc. Thing that rankled the most was that I'd only woken him at 3 and delivered by 9 so it wasn't exactly a 'trying' labour for him (he always reacts to stress with sleep)!

Do not disappear off to the toilet during the pushing stage (DC1). Be prepared to be shouted at by DP and glared at by midwives if you do this.

I kept better control of DH when having DC2. The last 2 hours were pretty intense. He had to press hard on my lower back with every contraction (I was leaning over the bed). I wouldn't let him go to the loo and he almost wet himself!

Provide drinks and chocolate hob nobs whenever requested.

If in water, Mrs Groove will love jugs of warm water poured over her lower back during contractions.

Whatever you do though, don't complain the next day that your arm is "sore" from all the pouring. Especially do not do this when Mrs Groove is being wheeled to theatre for surgical repair following 3rd degree tear incurred pushing out your son in under 7 mins flat ...

Phone round the important people and tell them Mrs Groove has given birth. Do not leave this to your Mrs Groove, who may be dazed for days, so that people start phoning your house wondering why the baby is 18 days late...

If Groove starts her labour in water, don't be disappointed if she needs to get out for the delivery. Being in water can slow labour down.