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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Can someone just tell me that it will be ok?!

48 replies

melliebobs · 23/02/2012 12:18

40+4 and starting to panic now and having proper little bouts of tears/anxiety. This is going to be dd1 and i am now quite frankly cacking myself. I always knew the day would come where i would have to get this little critter out, but now it's starting to freak me out! The overdue-ness isn't helping, constantly waiting for something to happen and having too much time on my hands to think. There's only so much you can read up on and i've stopped researching/reading/watching anything pregnancy related, and at the end of the day everyone's labour/birth is different. But I'm beginning to doubt myself now. I don't know what my pain threshold is. I don't know how well i'm going to cope. If at all!!! I know i have no option but to just get on with it, but i'm starting to get myself into a right bloomin' tiz it's just silly. I mean it can't be that bad right?! People go back and have #2, #3, #4 etc! ARGH please just tell me i'll be ok!?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AnaisB · 23/02/2012 12:20

I was like you - I went 11 days over and just imagined her getting bigger and bigger, but I'm one of those annoying people who say they enjoyed labour (although I still raise an eyebrow when DH says it was harder for him than me.)

ZhenThereWereTwo · 23/02/2012 12:23

mellie you will be fine, you can do it, do not feel bad if you have to change your birth plan as you go along to accomodate how you are feeling. Pain medication is a useful back up if you need it so listen to your body, it knows what to do and what you need. I am in labour with DD2 at the moment and only on TENS at the moment so can't be all bad, I wouldn't be doing it again if it was :)

tellyaddict · 23/02/2012 12:26

Little one will be out soon enough, and then you will agree it was all worth it :-). Don't worry about your pain threshold, you can ask for help and if you are in hospital epidurals are the business. Somehow you WILL get through it, and quite possibly be thinking about no. 2 soon after :-). It is so worth it, I've had three natural births and no pain relief on last 2 (epidural with first, 2 and 3 were too quick). I would get as much sleep and pampering in as you can now, you will have your baby in the next 10 days one way or the other, good luck, you are about to fall head of heels in love :-)

emsyj · 23/02/2012 12:27

IT WILL BE OK.

Take a look at your pain relief options - you may or may not want or need them, but knowing they are there if you do should help you feel a bit better.

I found labour quite manageable - it's the sleepless nights once the baby is here that's the tough part!

I hope to have another baby in the next year or so, and I won't be spending a single moment worrying about labour.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 23/02/2012 12:33

Oh Mellie. Poor you. I was the same before DS and now I'm pregnant with DC2 so it didn't put me off for life! I had a vaginal delivery with G&A and then an epidural. I was in labour for 22 hrs in all, but tbh the first 16 hours were pretty mild (at home, on the computer, emailing friends between contractions)

All I can say is try to relax as much as you can and stay calm. The thing about labour is that usually it builds up slowly- it's very unlikely that you're going to get hit by a massive contraction straight off. Try to rest in early labour if you can (even if you can't sleep, at least rest). Keep hydrated and nibble food to keep your energy up.

Best of luck with it.

NinkyNonker · 23/02/2012 12:54

It will be fine. It happens the world over a million times. DD didn't start until about 40+9, although by my dates she was 40+2 so I guess I am more accurate!

Yes, labour was hard and scary, but amazing at the same time. DD is 18 months and perfect, and I am due again at the end of April.

Just relax and once it starts, rest while you can and keep calm.

BellaCB · 23/02/2012 13:10

You'll be fine . I was the same as you, absolutely bloody terrified of having DC1 (4 weeks ago), panicking about my pain threshold the whole time. Yes it is painful, but I seemed to sort of 'space out' for a lot of it and time went a bit fuzzy. As the others have said there is a host of different types of pain relief out there and if you want something then DEMAND it. The only thing that calmed me down when I was panicking was the thought of an epidural: if you feel you can't cope with the pain, then there is this magic thing that can take it all away! As tellyaddict says, they are incredible things if you are happy to have one - the moment I hit 4cm I opted to have one. Please remember that this is your labour and whatever you choose to do is the right thing: if you are finding the pain difficult to deal with then take the pain relief and don't even think about what other women might have done, or get wound up by stories of women who have done the whole thing on just G&A and feel you are letting yourself down by opting for pain relief.

Good luck, try to relax as much as you can when it happens, eat and drink, and think about what all the pain is for. I wasn't too keen on people saying 'it will all be worth it in the end!' when I was panicking (of course it will be, but to me that thought wasn't going to take the pain away!) but the one thought that did calm me a bit was that this is the only good pain of your life, this is pain that has a purpose, and each contraction takes you closer to the end. I bet you'll surprise yourself how well you cope with everything.

QTPie · 23/02/2012 14:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

melliebobs · 23/02/2012 14:21

Thanks guys. I know I'm just being a bit silly. It doesn't help that childbirth seems some mystery subject that no one seems to talk about (probably cos everyone is so different) its just the fear of going into the unknown. I'm sure once it all gets going I'll be fine. It's just anticipation. Will just have to keep telling me self it won't last forever and there will be an end!

OP posts:

emsyj · 23/02/2012 14:28

It's not silly to be afraid of something that society conditions you to fear by constantly telling you horror stories etc.

I echo what the earlier poster says about it being a bit fuzzy and spaced-out - I felt very much 'somewhere else' during much of my labour, but not in a scary way. Once it starts, you might find (like I did) that you are so bloody excited about meeting your baby that you just want it to really get going!

Come back and tell us once baby is here!

pegbag · 23/02/2012 14:47

It starts gradually, everything goes fuzzy and spaced out - agree with that, and there is pain relief that works. I read a fab book before dd2, the contractions...they are your muscles working...try holding your arm out from your body as long as you can...soon it will be painful...that is all a contraction is...your muscles working really hard...nothing awful is happening (which is the way I felt).

It will be okay, this is your labour and no one elses, take everything as it comes, one hour, one minute, one second as it comes...there are always choices to make along the way. And I found the best non medical pain relief was a hug. It can actually end up being almost enjoyable...I also thought of the funny things that were happening around and too me (I'm a bit sadistic...)(my dh's face made me laugh, he didn't know what to do about the awful noise I was making, but making noise did help)...didn't have breath to laugh but it did distract me a bit.

You can do it :)

BellaCB · 23/02/2012 20:50

'Funny things' - definitely. The gas & air I had before they put my epidural in made me as drunk as an absolute skunk, if they sold that in bars I would chose it over any alcoholic drink! I remember finding everything that the midwives and doctors were doing very entertaining, and also having a conversation with the mw about how I really wanted a cigarette as I felt so drunk! If nothing else, mellie, there is that fun to look forward to

Definitely come back and tell us how you got on - I bet you surprise yourself!

latrucha · 23/02/2012 20:55

I'd do it again tomorrow. Pregnancy: no. Year one (sorry): no.

But labour? I found it very, very painful but it rocks. Just wait for the high when LO is out. My, you'll feel clever.

permaquandry · 23/02/2012 21:12

My advice would be: concentrate on your breathing and focus on what your midwife says; try not to tense up (easier said than done but it helps so much with the pain) and prepare yourself for the fact that, although it will be painful, it will be over quickly and so, so worth it!

I was petrified too, I have a terribly low pain threshold (complete wimp) and I've done it twice. Once with epidural (48 hr labour) and once with gas + air (17 hrs), for some reason, they were the quickest hrs of my life. I'd love to give birth again. Bet you'll be on here soon telling us how it wasn't OK and yes, you'd do it again! Good luck.

Original poster

melliebobs · 25/02/2012 09:52

Thanks guys I'll deffinately keep you up to date with how I get on 6 days overdue now though. She needs to get a wriggle on

OP posts:

permaquandry · 25/02/2012 23:43

Sorry, just reread my post. I meant to say thay you'll be on here saying it WAS OK and yes, you'd do it again. It really will be OK!

I feel for you, when you go overdue, you feel like you'll be pregnant forever, don't you? When the phone rang, for a split second, I used to think 'is that someone ringing me to tell me I'm in labour?' Mad, I know!

Good luck and please do update us.

Portofino · 25/02/2012 23:54

Honestly - births come in all shapes and sizes and some are better, and easier than others. But YOU WILL COPE with whatever happens. It is hard to explain.

CailinDana · 26/02/2012 12:15

It's really hard to imagine what it's going to be like when you're thinking about it beforehand - it seems like an insurmountable thing that you'll never get through. But once it all gets going you realise that you don't have to actually do anything, it's all going to happen regardless of how you feel, so you have to go with the flow and in a lot of ways that makes it easier. If you could back out and say "I'm not doing it" I think it would make it so much harder as you'd have to decide to go through the pain, but in reality your body just does the whole thing for you and you just have to focus on keeping positive and listening to what it tells you.

It's extremely hard work but very very exciting too. Keep reminding yourself that it will come to an end and that you'll have your baby in your arms - there's nothing better than that.

Original poster

melliebobs · 05/03/2012 16:39

Bump. just to keep you up to date, I'm 42+1 and still here.

I've gone full circle from denial, sheer panic, to acceptance, to 'bring it on' and back to panic again now that it's all getting a bit closer.

OP posts:

ally90 · 06/03/2012 13:01

When it got too much for me...warm bath, glass of wine (small), robbie williams on loud :) Have you made any birth music cd's? One for contractions (queen, guns n roses etc for me) and after (belinda carisle, guns n roses (quiet one's!) etc). That was relaxing and got me thinking positive thoughts..esp the after cd...

Or maybe your in labour now...?

Original poster

melliebobs · 06/03/2012 15:19

Nope not in labour will be in hospital tommorow regardless

Have made some playlists on the iPod though.

OP posts:

ally90 · 06/03/2012 17:01

How come you have been 'allowed' to be so overdue? I got forced down the induction route...managed to go 15 days over 2nd time round :)

Not long now till you see the little one :)

mummytime · 06/03/2012 17:06

My two born naturally both came the day before I was booked to see the consultant. The second one was very very fast, and not even long enough for the endorphins to kick in properly, but with the aid of Gas and Air it was fine.

ShowOfHands · 06/03/2012 17:06

Oh mellie, you don't feel like it atm but you're so very lucky. You have it all ahead. The feeling when your own soft, sweet smelling little baby curls its chubby little fingers round your neck and nuzzles in to you, sighing and snuffling because she knows you and feels safe, oh you just wait. This next bit's an extraordinary leap of faith but where you'll be at the end of it is just wonderful. Promise.

ally90 · 06/03/2012 17:07

and yes it will all be okay :) you can do it, your body is designed to do it...so is your baby.

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