Hospitals, drugs and screaming doesn't have to be the norm?

[Vegansdownthestreet]

Anyone believe that childbirth doesn't have to be a medical emergency? For the longest time I was scared out my mind to give birth but all of a sudden I just pulled a 180 and figured out why I'm scared. Hospitals and movies/tv always showing screaming painful labor and I'm more scared of being there then actually pushing out a baby.

Friend and I are both TTCing and she recommended a book to me called Spiritual Midwifery. It's very hippy. Basically it favors embarrassing contractions, trying to focus and understand childbirth and what's happening.

Now am I being a but naive but honestly if childbirth was such a health risk then wouldn't there be less people about? Has anyone had a non hospital birth and share their experiences.

You can dream any birth you like but it might not end up like that. And if it weren't for the brilliant health service we have, there would be far fewer people about. Do you know about the death rates in childbirth in countries where there aren't decent medical facilities? Not nice.

Having said all that, I hope you do have a lovely birth experience, many people do.

Hi Vegans. I don't see it as a medical emergency (only had 2)! I believe in finding out all the options and choosing what is best for you. 1st was a hospital birth but water birth and lovely. 2nd planned a home birth but bleeding sent me to hospital. All was fine. I think it is important to feel relaxed with your choices. How the hell can you dilate if you are scared?

Vegans - I agree totally that birth does not have to be a medical emergency, but also, that sometimes it is and, as Patti says, we are lucky to have the amazing technological/medical backup we do for when nature doesn't go to plan. I do think its a shame that so many people see the 'medical way' as 'better' or 'more normal' than the natural way. I have been 'lucky' 3 times and enjoyed 3 lovely drug free home waterbirths, with #4 booked for May

FWIW I don't think my version of giving birth would make very dramatic TV for 'enders or Corrie

Good luck TTC, and when you are preparing for labour look for antenatal yoga classes as they will help you with breathing for relaxation as well as exercise, you may want to read about hypnobirthing, or stuff by Ina May Gaskell or Michel Odent as well

Patti is spot on. Having an idea of what you would ideally like your labour to be like is fantastic, but unfortunately babies dont always conform to that so I think its vital that you stay a bit more flexible in your expectations.

You might find that a 90 degree turn is a safer option. People were scared of labour and birth long before tv. There's a balance to be found between denying that there's any risk involved in childbirth and that it can be painful vs. being absolutely petrified of it. Lots of women have found stuff like Ina May Gaskin very helpful in dealing with fears. Others find themselves wanting to burn those books once they've had a birth that turned out to be riskier/more painful/requiring more intervention than they were prepared for.

Buying wholesale into a particular belief system can leave you mentally and emotionally inflexible and less able to cope with the inherent unpredictability of childbirth. No amount of focus, understanding, education, relaxation etc. will make birth a process over which you have 100% control. Denying that reality can leave you very vulnerable and traumatised if you are among the significant minority whose births don't go quite as planned. It's tempting to look for one holy grail of knowledge and choices that can take all the risk and fear of birth away but it may not be wise.

Am with sioda! Wish I had this exact advice pre birth of ds.Had planned for home birth and read Ina may many times, so when overdue and risks grew then lots changed. Over 1 year on I am still working through guilt around reality of birth of ds v what I had planned for. Thanks sioda - will remember sage comments second time around. Vegans - All the best. Remember that whilst labour doesn't have to be scary I think being aware of all outcomes is v. Important.

I think you increase your chances of a good birth by eliminating fear. I used the natal hypnotheraphy with great sucess. However because it was my second child no amount of hypnotherapy will convince that childbirth is 100% pain free.

I found that the visualisation helped me. I delegated any worrying to the midwife. I was lucky in that I had a community midwife that I knew.

During childbirth I found it helped to live in the present and not worry about what might or might not happen. Fear makes you tense and childbirth more painful.

With dd I had a 3 hour delivery with just tens.

Of course to doesnt have to be that way. Elective c-section is very serene

I found flexibility helped me. Was all set for having a drug free vaginal birth and was coping fine with contractions when ds' heartbeat suddenly dipped and he had to be whisked out by emergency caesarian. It was fine actually, not at all stressful, but it definitely did help that I had no very strong ideas either way.

With my first labour I gave birth with just the TENS machine and a couple of gulps of gas. But then dd developed various problems after birth so it was hardly a more stress free experience- we're still struggling with her health problems 15 years later.

Basically once you get into motherhood it helps to know what you want but be enormously adaptable.

It doesn't have to be that way but sometimes it is and if your unlucky like me you will be glad for the hospital and drugs.

Spot on sioda. Very well put.

I tried for home births twice, and ended up with very different (bloody awful) experiences twice also (not because of the home birth aspect I hasten to add). Now, a lot of the problems were caused by the hospital doctors, but more importantly, mine and dd1's life were also saved by them.

Ultimately I think you need to appreciate there are different paths childbirth can take, and you can't necessarily decide which one you go down. What is important is feeling empowered and in control whichever the path is.

So keep your mind open basically!

sioda and dango are bang on about being flexible. After I had a very stressed and merconion stained DD and the dr who delivered her mentioned that first labours are generally longer and this means a higher % of babies get distressed and need to be born quickly. I think this means flexibility is really important, especially at a first birth.

Having said that, for me, there was no screaming and just tens and gas. Everyone, including me, was very calm and DD and I were very well looked after. All the medical staff just wanted to keep us safe and their calm and professional manner really helped me.

I absolutely agree that it doesn't have to be a medical emergency, it is responsible to ensure you are in the care of experienced professionals who can recognise and react appropriately if it does. That doesn't mean you have to be in hospital lying on your back strapped to a monitor if you don't want to be.
I don't think there is anything wrong at all in aspiring to a gentle delivery, you just need to remember that there are 2 of you involved, and your baby may have different plans to you!
Medical intervention is excellent where problems arise. Sadly some interventions end up being used as "policy" or "just in case" and the side effect is that harm is caused rather than prevented. So yes, it is worth being prepared for the worst, but not at the cost of a healthy natural delivery. I think there is a difference between being confident, but accepting that things might not go your way, and being fixated on complications and fearful.
I would also thoroughly recommend you find a good pg yoga class (and some have waiting lists, so it is worth enquiring early in pregnancy, even though you won't start until after 12 weeks), this can really help with the physical and psychological preparation, and I strongly believe that a positive birth experience is much more likely with good preparation.

Anybody find that you CANT be 'flexible' though? I have no expectations - it might go good, it might go bad, I might quite like a water birth, but will be fine if I don't get one, I won't rule any drugs or procedures out - whatever's needed at the time to get the baby out.

is this good enough? No. I MUST do the birth plan, what about this what about that. My answer remains the same - what about it? let's jsut stop faffing and get on with it people, stop trying to put me in a box...

sorry just feeling a bit sensitive about it all at the moment!

Agree with most of the posters on here, OP - you will get the birth you get, and all you can do is do whatever possible to build a positive approach to it and prepare yourself emotionally for whatever happens.

If you go in blinkered to the reality that a lot of births don't go according to plan, you may get a helluva shock (some people actually get PTSD because of the disparity between what they expected and what they got).

Equally, if you go in scared and worried and tense, you're going to impact your labour negatively.

A flexible, realistic approach with a good understanding of everything that may happen to you is probably smart.

OP - This is your first, right?

I read Spiritual Midwifery, which is indeed a hippy dippy fantasy where as long as you are happy and relaxed, all goes well and there is no pain. It is quite hilarious. I strongly recommend that you take it with a grain of salt, especially re pain expectations, or you are bound to be terribly disappointed.

By the way, childbirth used to be "a health risk" indeed, with maternal mortality rates around 40% in 1800s. (Human population increased nonetheless, because there was contraception and so the surviving women just kept making babies) Mortality rates are much lower these days, obviously, partly due to those hospitals you seem so scared of.

My advice is: Read as many hippy books as you like, but don't expect your birth to be pleasant because you are channelling Ina May during your contractions. And stay near a hospital, just in case.

Closed mindedness flows in both directions. The fact is that being happy, positive, and relaxed is absolutely key to being able to manage your birth. That doesn't mean that just because you are going to be as positive as possible that you are some kind of jelly-minded "hippy", deluded, lentil weaver. Far from it! We all know that not every birth is perfect, and a multitude of unforeseen circumstances can arise in which medical intervention is needed.

I don't think anyone here has said that. What we said (and is absolutely true) is that even in a "perfect birth", there is a lot of pain and possibility of danger. And that the hippy books like "Spiritual Midwifery" often paint an unrealistic picture of childbirth, which, if OP believes it all, is likely to cause her much disappointment.

The birth of my dd1 was a medical emergency. Neither she nor I (and by extension dd2) would be here if our condition had not been diagnosed and treated by a range of medical professionals, starting with my midwife.

I had wanted a natural birth in a birth centre, ended up being rushed to hospital and an emcs due to pre-eclampsia.

What I'm saying is as others have said plan the calm birth you want but don't dismiss the importance of heavy medical intervention as unnecessary and yes be flexible as unfortunately im you cannot, always control your own experience of childbirth however positive your attitude.

right on, chineapple punk!

Blimey, gawd knows what my beloved Ina May would have thought of my forceps delivery.

By all means be prepared, and be positive. But not to the exclusion of medical help where necessary.

But medical emergencies in childbirth are a reality, rare thanks to our training and the facilities we have, but cord prolapse, placental abruption, eclampsia, post partum haemorrhage etc all happen largely beyond our control. We are generally great at managing them but they happen.

Meant to add, I think it's important to keep the normal, normal and to recognise and manage the abnormal.

Cote have you got a ref for that figure of 40% for mat mortality in the C19th?

Just as a historian it really, really doesn't ring true.

I have read figures of more like 5%, fwiw.