Hospitals, drugs and screaming doesn't have to be the norm?

[Vegansdownthestreet]

Anyone believe that childbirth doesn't have to be a medical emergency? For the longest time I was scared out my mind to give birth but all of a sudden I just pulled a 180 and figured out why I'm scared. Hospitals and movies/tv always showing screaming painful labor and I'm more scared of being there then actually pushing out a baby.

Friend and I are both TTCing and she recommended a book to me called Spiritual Midwifery. It's very hippy. Basically it favors embarrassing contractions, trying to focus and understand childbirth and what's happening.

Now am I being a but naive but honestly if childbirth was such a health risk then wouldn't there be less people about? Has anyone had a non hospital birth and share their experiences.

Rosie, it is possible to be flexible even with a birth plan.

Firstly, it's a plan, or better, preferences. If your plan says you want a home birth, and you decide when in labour you actually want to go to hospital and have an epidural, you can go, no questions. The midwife isn't going to cross her arms and say "no, that's not on the plan, ner ner ner". It doesn't go the other way though, so it is always best to plan for minimal intervention, you can't decide to have a HB when you are already labouring in hospital, and if you planned to have an early epidural, you can't undo that (it can be hard to think your way out of having it if you have made the decision).

The plan is there to help the MWs and your birth partners, it's not a contract, but it is handy for relaying your wishes should you be in a situation where you can't articulate them. For instance if you wanted a physiological third stage, you might not be in a state to tell them that just after you deliver, or if you want the baby to have skin to skin with your partner if you have a GA.

It is also possible to have a "Plan B". For DS birth I had a plan for my HB (about 8 bullet points), but at the bottom I also had about 4 points each for a hospital birth or emcs, just in case.

Wasn't one of the major causes of maternal mortality puerperal fever, which was caused (or at least spread) by doctors? SO it wasn't so much childbirth itself that was inherently dangerous, but the poor care during and afterwards (and general poor understanding of the nature of infections/ disease).

IMO you tend to hear more about people's bad experiences. That's true for more than just labour.

Oh I also forgot to say that a clear set of birth preferences will also really help your birth partner to relay your wishes, they can't speak for you, but they can draw the medical people's attention to your plan, where you stated your preferences. You can write your plan with this in mind, rather than it being about your expectations for a birth going like clockwork, consider what factors are important to you, or if there is anything you really need, or would object to.

Crystal you are correct, puerpal fever was caused by doctors not washing their hands between autopsies and births (because no one knew about germs). That is where the earlier figure someone quoted as 40% came from. When Semmelweiss (the Dr that "invented" handwashing for doctors) first observed it, there was up to a 40% rate of puerpal fever amongst women giving birth in hospital. It wasn't an issue in women giving birth at home, and it isn't an issue now.

Some women scream in labour, others don't.
I'm not convinced that all the screamers have a more painful experience than the non-screamers, it's just different women coping in different ways. Whatever it takes to give birth.

I don't think anybody (not even the most spiritual of midwives or lentil-weaving mothers) will tell you that childbirth is anything other than hard work. Unfortunately it is a job which must be done. It is rewarding and can be exhilarating, frightening or any other emotion you care to name. But bloody hard work.

Vegans, I think like most things in life child birth is like most things in life - not worth getting stressed about!
Educate yourself, know what you'd like in an ideal world and relax.
The more you simply confidently get on with the whole business, the better.

If you give of the air of knowing what you want balanced with an air that you will listen to the medics advice. It gives your caters confidence too.

DD1s was a reasonably straight forward hospital birth and DD2 a beautiful homebirth.

futurenannyogg I am constantly reminded that the birth plan is not concrete, in fact usually people take great delight in saying 'ha, that's just something you write that flies out of the window once you're actually in labour!' But if I say that's fine, I'm not bothered about an earthmother 'natural' experience, whatever as long as the baby comes out they get all upset and try to force me to be specific, presumably so they can smack it down. Just like the enjoyment they get contradicting you whatever your opinion about how birth will be.

"I'll be fine"
"Ha, no you won't"
"It'll be horrible"
"Ohhh, you'll be fine"

...sigh

I didn't scream because the contractions were so strong that I could hardly breathe. HTH.

Well if they know your body and your baby so well, then they can do it for you

Well, I did everything right, and still had a pretty shitty time. Sometimes it is unavoidable. But, that doesn't mean it is the same for everyone, you prepare the absolute best you can, do the best you can at the time and take the best advice you can get. Sometimes it will be the beautiful, au naturel experience and sometimes it won't, it isn't all down to prep. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst!

When i went into the labour ward, all i could hear were women screaming etc, BUT i personally didnt scream, shout or swear at all giving birth. I had one jesus, one god, and then there was oh christ you have driving lesson at half nine! (it was 7.30 in the morning), but all peaceful and had a perfectly healthy happy baby boy!

I really thought I'd be a swearing harpie, apparently I was polite to everyone throughout...amazed!

I had a pain drug free relaxed birth at home. (planned home birth)

my natal hypnotherapy and tens machine helped, and i had tens on level 4 boost for the birth itself.

i laboured by myself in the pitch black.
Other than during transition i was silent throughout

i went from 7cm - mummy in 20mins

it was fine / easy / unstressful

Have a look at Hypno Birthing, my community midwife is a trainer and very into it. I had Ds in the hospital birth pool and didn't scream or indeed feel in pain. However I do think a lot of that came as a result of learning how to use gas and air properly. There is a technique.

to my mind the best mindset would be:

a firm conviction that you will be fine and in control

combined with

the flexibility to accept that if circumstances change you are going to be fine in some totally different and unexpected way

There is a big difference between "I want to try a drug free birth because it sounds really positive" and "I will only be all right if I manage a drug free birth".

But I would totally agree that there is absolutely no correlation between screaming and experience of pain or helplessness. Plenty of women scream because it helps them, like puffing noises when you are lifting something heavy. Childbirth is a weird thing: you can scream and feel totally in control. Others don't scream, but feel helpless and panicky inside.

fio - I wasn't telling that to OP but to piprabbit, who seems to think that those who don't scream during birth feel less pain. I had as painful and horrendous a birth as I can imagine, but still wasn't a "screamer" in the charming description of piprabbit because the contractions were so strong that I couldn't breathe.

Reread my post and you'll see that what I'm actually saying is that the level of noise doesn't correlate to the level of pain, that you can't judge how much pain a woman experiences by the amount of noise she makes.