I just want to point out that episiotomies are NOT routine birth practice.

[HaveYouTakenLeaveOfYourCervix]

on pretty much every birthplan i see it is written

I do not want an episiotomy unless absolutely necessary.

Why do women think that they would be given an episiotomy if it wasn't absolutely necessary and an emergency situation?

Do women think midwives are scissor weilding harpies who routinely cut perineums because they want to?

Episiotomy is NOT a routine procedure. You will NOT be given one unless you really really need one.

that's all.

Tubal ligation is a female "vasectomy".
Yes, by keyhole

I fully accept that my bad spelling makes
me look like a tit
I was not trying to make others look like a tit lol.

accepts she is a tit

All I said was really, I don't think op meant to be inflammatory (is this better) but I then said I had put it in my own birthplan anyway lol

tit

Kayano I'm was kidding

I know. I also highlighted a
Completely wrong word lol. That was ouch worse

I need a stiff drink. Will a midwife judge
Me for taking whiskey onto the labour ward?

notcitrus I had the same sentences in my birth plan. Originally thought it would be better to tear naturally.

When I struggled to deliver ds (after discussing options) I requested to be cut. Very politely requested, not 'will you just do it now so I can get on with pushing him out!'

I think it is clear that the big deal is not having an episiotomy but having one without consent/ proper explanation.

Think about it: in no other circs do you have a medical professional operate on you, possibly without adequate anaesthetic, without stopping and checking. I mean, imagine if when you went to the dentist's there was a chance he'd just try to drill one of your teeth without numbing the area whilst you were in the chair with your mouth open?

It's surely the lack of control evident in stories like Dana's which puts women off.

Ouch worse?!

Much worse!!!

Still, in the context of this thread... Ouch worse is quite fitting...

throws phone across room

Kayano, yes she will. Take some brandy instead.

The reason I put it in my birth plan was so that the MWs would know that I wasn't some stupid woman who actually knew what she was talking about and that I had thought about it in advance so that they couldn't spring it on me and talk me into it without adequate explanation. In spite of that the older MW still tried to bully me into it.

I've got images of needing an epi and them trying to take the brandy I'm swigging to pour over the wound

I think i need a
Lie down

I never had a birth plan! As far as I was concerned, they had more experience delivering twins. I had quite a tear, judging by the amount of massively painful scar tissue lster, and forceps/ventouse but they didn't do anything unnecessary as far as we were aware. Maybe I got lucky having twins as the medical team is routinely larger and I was never left unattended at anytime.

I am actually tempted to put into my birthplan "any procedure carried out on me without mine or my dh's explicit consent will be treated by me as assault"... AIBU?

Haven't read the thread but when i had dd1 in Spain 5 years ago it was routine to do an episiotomy and enema.Doubt it has changed in 5 years....?

do it bemybebe.

A reasonable midwife will know you wrote it out of fear and not be offended. And a bad one will know you mean business. Win/win I reckon.

bemybebe...I would say YANBU but considering my previous experience I'm not very objective!!

I cannot believe they are only performed in 'emergencies'. I know so very many women who have had them. They can't all have been terrible, high- risk emergencies, surely?

At the time how do you know you don't need one. They do seem more 'routine' on 1st births and less so on subsequent births.

They are routine in many South American countries, and in many many hospitals in the States. I think many women read US birth stories and think that episiotomies are routine because of that.

Also, they were routine in many many countries a few decades ago so maybe it's also the influence of grandmothers' birth stories.

29 weeks with dc3....Really wish I hadn't read this thread......

bemybebe I had that on my birth plan with DC2, as as far as I'm concerned, large parts of my first birth did constitute assault.

Wonderful MW who was the first victim of my rage to see it booked a long session, and we did a good debrief of what had happened to me. She understood where I was coming from!

I had it on my birth plan OP, sorry! Was utterly terrified of the thought while pregnant.
I did get one in the end. Had been pushing for over an hour and baby's heart rate was dropping, lovely midwife asked if she could do one and I told her to fuck right off. Argued about it between contractions for a good 20 mins before I finally agreed, quick snip and Dd popped out. We both apologised afterwards!
I can still feel it a little 5 months on but have had no real problems and I'm confident my midwife made the right decision in spite of all my swearing!

I had one. The senior midwife said DS was a little distressed and they would like me to try without one for a little bit longer. I did but in the end they suggested very nicely that the epi was needed.

I even agreed to let the student midwife do it. She came up to the ward afterwards to say a most heartfelt thanks for letting her gain experience in the procedure.

DS dad said a few days later 'did you hear what the senior mw said when they did it?'.....no.....she said 'be careful the scissors aren't very sharp!'

Most of my friends have birthed at this hospital and only one other ended up with an epi and that was for a forceps delivery.

right have had a nap. yes, i know it is a contentious issue. I know it is A Big Deal. Just musing that In My Experience it simply isn't done routinely and wondered where women got the idea that it is routine from. Which you have answered, thanks. And yes, consent and informed decision making etc is also a big deal. I know. However, I'm not sure which bit was patronising or offensive. I am also perfectly capable of hating working nights, yet actually being my normal lovely chirpy self (while wanting to curl up and die at 4am).

Wasn't MW who did mine.

Was in MW lead unit, not been very long in labour, baby not distressed, I was fine but at 10 cm I was instructed to push even though I didn't feel need - with two subsequent couldn't stop - but at an hour hospital policy was to get a registrar and plan- well with me a ventuse delivery.

By time he was in room babies head was visible - baby not in distress neither was I but obviously being a man and there was going to do what he was sent for . MW said I was tearing very slightly when bloody registrar decided to stick in an episiotomy with out asking anyone. I knew it wasn't then considered best practice for small tear and MW didn't sound impressed.

I've torn exactly along it both times since - though never badly. It wasn't the worse thing ever but healed worse and with more pain than the two tears which once sown up by MW never bothered me.

So I know it probably isn't routine practice by MW but bored registrars hanging round maternity units- well who knows.