I just want to point out that episiotomies are NOT routine birth practice.

[HaveYouTakenLeaveOfYourCervix]

on pretty much every birthplan i see it is written

I do not want an episiotomy unless absolutely necessary.

Why do women think that they would be given an episiotomy if it wasn't absolutely necessary and an emergency situation?

Do women think midwives are scissor weilding harpies who routinely cut perineums because they want to?

Episiotomy is NOT a routine procedure. You will NOT be given one unless you really really need one.

that's all.

OP is a midwife?

Wow. Nice to know you think of your patients with such contempt.

Out of curiousity, why come onto AIBU and post what is clearly an inflammatory post?

I spent weeks 'working' on my birth plan ;)

No one believed me when i said baby was comming, they kept trying to send me home no one 'checked me' it was first baby and i was petrified, so was DH. I was told baby wouldn't be born untill following afternoon at the earliest and that i was taking up ward space - 6 bed ward me and 1 other woman on there.
I was shocked i did most of the pushing on the loo floor and didnt manage to do myself any damage no tears or anything ;)

At no point in my birth plan did i right - Midwifes/janitor/DH will break down toliet door and drag me accross the corridor under the arms with trousers around ankles and DD emerging ;)

Had a c section with twins - much nicer birth experiance aftercare was laughable though 30+minutes to answer a call and a bolloking as to why i couldnt get out of bed to 'see' to my baby. Ermm there are actually 2 of them in that cot which was placed out of reach for me and i am still paralised from the Epi bitch. (she was much nicer to me after that)

They lookedd at me daft when I mentioned 'birthplan' first time, si didn't bother ssecond time.

Was absolutely terrified of epi 'cos of my (70s) mum and some (70s) colleagues.

Needless to say, didn't need one.

** just to add i did appoligise for the 'bitch' comment and she said sorry for the 'see to your child 'speech. There were a few new mums from other countries who insisted the midwifes care for their babies and would leave them to scream and she had had enough.

I had one with DD1 due to the incompetant midwife in attendance. She failed to notice my waters hadn't gone. I didn't think they had but she was adament they had so pushed for over an hour, no baby and then she realised that actually they were intact and so I had to get them burst which was very painful.

She then didn't notice that DD1's heart beat was barely there until a senior midwife came in who realised that at every contraction the heartbeat was going down and had been for a while. There was no time for a c-section.

I then had to get an emergency episiotomy, no time for freezing or anything (Had laboured without pain relief) they just snipped away. It was the most painful thing ever. Lost alot of blood. DD1 was purple as she had the cord wrapped round her throat. Was then told how she had only done it twice in 3 years without pain relief, like that made me feel better !
Oh and the idiot midwife then stitched me up wrong, stitches had to get taken out and redone. Was on that table for nearly 2 hours.

Pretty sure if she had done her job properly and monitered DD1 then I wouldn't have ended up getting an episiotomy, might have been a section but at least it would have been done sooner and i'd have been given pain relief before they started slicing away.

It's
Obviously the nightshift nightshift

I don't think it's inflammitory but rather just musing that most hcp do not enjoy cutting women for fun therefore she sees 'only epi if necessary' as a redundant phrase as they tend not to unless they think it will be necessary anyway...

Iyswim

It's still in my birthplan though stubborn bitch lol

That second nightshift should be likes cervix I'm tired and cranky lol

Cervix yes some are, in tge same way as hairdressers are

Tbh after having a two way 2nd tear with ventouse with dd I still never put this in mine. The only no no on mine was forceps

I had one. It tore further. I also tore in 3 other directions. I can still feel it 17 months on. They can be a big deal. I think I might have had a 4th degree year without it though. I didn't think I was very stretchy before giving birth. I think I was right.

Some do cut because they think it is better than tearing. How can you guarantee a woman would tear? I have it on my birth plan that I would choose to tear over be cut.

Breathe can you feel the difference between tge tears and the cut part?

huh. well, who knew episiotomies aren't routine? both my vbacs i had an episiotomy. and i can't think of a single one of my friends who didn't have one either.

but thanks, y'know, for letting me know they aren't routine. because i wouldn't have known otherwise...

not that i bothered to write a birth plan in either of the three circumstances tbh. just as well, as they are clearly roundly ignored or criticised by hcps.

Inflammitory ?

Are you sure? (or did somebody else type this and you are now highlighting their duff spelling)

"rather just musing that most hcp do not enjoy cutting women for fun"

No - rather they do it because they're following the unit protocols on length of second stage/baby's been crowning for ages and it's nearly the end of their shift and they want baby born before they go/they're too physically tired to try something simple like getting the mum to change position to facilitate the birth/have been encouraging mum to do prolonged breath holding in second stage to speed up birth and baby's heart rate has dropped, resulting in the need for a quick finish.

Sure that the OP wouldn't do any of these things, but it does happen sometimes.

I think it's one of those things which pregnant women really fear. The idea of being cut (even in an emergency) is extremely frightening, especially to first time mothers.

I think there's sometimes a lack of understanding around how tears are sometimes trickier to repair than an episiotomy. Obviously, if you are a midwife then you will know the implications of not doing it and the very obvious need to get the baby out quickly in certain situations.

I had two midwives when I was in labour. The first one was young and calm, very encouraging, was happy to let me move around. The second one was older and as soon as she came into the room she started talking about a ventouse, an episiotomy etc without ever explaining why she thought the were necessary and insisted I got on the bed. I resisted her wrt the bed until right before the end (something I'm still annoyed about) and had to actually shout at her that I didn't want an episiotomy. She still got the stuff out and I totally believe that if the other midwife hadn't been there she would have gone ahead and cut me without my consent.

In the end I pushed DS out with no help at all, he was perfectly fine and I tore a tiny little bit - I think I needed two stitches. What I would love to know is why that midwife was pushing an epi when I clearly didn't need it? The younger midwife strongly hinted to me afterwards that I did exactly the right thing by shouting at the older midwife. Incidentally the older midwife knowingly tried to stitch me in an area that wasn't anaesthetised and got annoyed at me when I cried out loud at the pain. She was an utter and complete idiot. Thankfully I've since moved to another area so I won't ever have to see her again.

A birth plan I should have had one of those...

Still, my episiotomy was very much needed and the nice lady doc stitched me up good and proper, no pain, healed perfectly. Don't see why the terror of them, unless an experience like poor catpark .

By the time they got round to doing mine I was in so much pain from the fully formed human emerging from my fanjo that the epi was like a fart in a hurricane, but I do think that if women have chosen to say in the birth plan that they absolutely don't want one it should be adhered to except in emergencies where it's too late for EMCS. The problem is that how do we really know what would happen without one, I would much rather be cut again for a quick birth than risk baby being deprived of oxygen for any length of time which could have been the case with DD as they were getting worried about her heartbeat so decided to speed things up and she came out really quickly with epi and forceps.

The cut which tore was much deeper and got infected and opened up, was restitched under a general, opened up a bit again and has now healed but I have quite a wide scar and dip there and it certainly isn't symmetrical. The tears have healed fine and I wouldn't know that they were there. The main thing I wanted to avoid was forceps and that is what I got .

outofbody - I reckon they happen even more often with VBACS because many hospitals have very strict protocols about length of labour and second stage for anyone labouring with a uterine scar.

No I'm just shit at spelling and on my phone

Is this the female version of a vasectomy

Yes, but you highlighted it and with wrong spelling?

Totally off-topic really but I can't think why you'd have done this unless you were trying to make someone look like a tit for having spelled it wrong?

As you were

The female version of vasectomy is tube tying surely, done by keyhole surgery?