Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To tell DH or not to tell...?

41 replies

BunnyBear · 03/02/2012 13:17

Hi lovely ladies,

This is my first ever post - and I can't believe what I'm going to ask!!

I am going in for an ARM tomorrow (will be 41 weeks) DS was born 8 years ago by planned C Section because he was breech, so my DH hasn't ever experienced the 'reality' of labour (and, of course, neither have I!)

So, my question is this.....having read a thread further down the page I realise that there is a probability of me pooing during labour - eek! DH and I have been married 12 years, but always lock our bathroom door and keep those particular activities very private. I know he'll be utterly horrified (as will I!) if it happens, so do I forewarn him of the possibility - or say nothing and hope I'm in the extremely small minority who don't....?

Sorry ladies - what a silly post! Sure it's the last thing I should be worried about - but can't help it! I've never even broken wind in front of him so this fills me with horror!!

XXXXX

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MessNessPess · 03/02/2012 13:19

It isn't that common but you could buy Lactulose from the chemist to move it along and get it out of the way before hand.

sittinghippo · 03/02/2012 16:00

Unless your DH is planning to stand at the 'business end' during your labour then I wouldn't worry. If, and only IF you do poo, he wont notice, nor will you, it is gone and vanished before anyone else will have had a chance to realise.
The likelihood is he will be hand holding, mopping brow, while looking nervous and excited all at the same time.

It is common, but it doesn't seem common to most women who've laboured, as they and their DHs are usually oblivious!

GreenEyedMumster · 03/02/2012 16:03

Ehm, I'm sure there will be enough going on and pooing will be the least of anyone's worries. Good luck with it all!

joanofarchitrave · 03/02/2012 16:05

I don't think it's that probable, is it? Not sure of the statistics. I spent my entire early labour having a contraction, sitting on the loo, having a contraction, sitting on the loo etc - infuriating but I was 'empty' by the time things really kicked off.

Why not talk to the midwife about a pre-ARM enema? Old-school but I bet they still do it sometimes?

Pootles2010 · 03/02/2012 16:06

Just tell him you'd prefer him to stay away from business end, if he's squeamish i'm sure he will anyway!

oscarsmumm · 03/02/2012 20:18

Well I am probably the most prudish person ever but trust me when I was giving birth I didn't care what happened and neither did my husband for that matter despite the ward being extremely low on staff and the only midwife attending to me giving my DP the paper towels filled with god-knows-what and asking him to put them in the bin !!

My Dp (who normally skits me about anything btw!) actually said to me "the fact you gave birth to my daughter makes you the most fabulous woman in my life whether or not you sh!t yourself in the process" ... make of this what you will but if you are going to poop then you are going to poop and there is nothing you can do about it and given that it is a natural part of labour you shouldn't be worried about it either xx

Look at it this way ... if your DP got really drunk on a night out and pood himself in the bathroom you would probably just clean it up and forget about it after a few weeks xxx

Hassled · 03/02/2012 20:22

I pooed in 2 of my 4 DCs' births - so you have a reasonable chance of not pooing. But the fathers were at the head end - I have no idea if they realised, but if they did they were far too polite to ever mention it. The pooing, if there is any, will come pretty close to the actual birth - so the poo is the last thing they'll be thinking about in any case. They might think "blimey! she's pooed!" but that will be so quickly followed by "blimey! here's the baby!" that it's a non issue. MW whips it away faster than you can blink - it's not like there's a whopping stinking turd lingering there for more than a second.

sittinghippo · 03/02/2012 20:46

It's nothing like DH pooing himself in the bathroom after a night out boozing! I'd kill 'im!

Flisspaps · 03/02/2012 20:49

Mention to him that it might happen, just so that if it does, and he sees it, he's not surprised.

But honestly? DH and I don't use the loo in front of each other (not even for a wee) but I had forewarned him that I might poo in labour and that was that - I'd rather he knew it was a possibility than thinking something had gone terribly wrong.

Even if you do poo, something far more exciting will follow it - a BABY!

Bibbo · 03/02/2012 20:54

The thing is, you probably will do a shit at some point. I would warn him if I were you!

Kayzr · 03/02/2012 20:56

I have had 2 babies and I haven't done a poo while in labour. So it might not even happen.

katiecoocoo · 03/02/2012 21:26

I agree with Flisspaps and Bibbo, I'd pre-warn him so he doesn't get a shock, he's less likely to be horrified if he realises its a very normal part of child birth and midwifery and medical teams see it literally every day probably multiple times some days obviously depending on how many babies they've delivered. Let the poor lamb into our little secret..if anything its one less thing for you to feel worried about hun..best of luck with it all.

Pastabee · 03/02/2012 22:17

Mention it so he knows it's normal. I didn't but I had chronic diarrhoea at the start of labour that was so bad DH had to come and put me in the shower..... Never been like that in front of him before but he was really amazing about everything that happened.

He was down the business end when she was born. I got a vague pat of the leg as 'support' he was so absorbed in what was happening!

piprabbit · 03/02/2012 22:29

Some of sensations you have while pushing may feel like the sensations you have while pooing - you may think you are pushing your baby out but really be pooing or you might think you are pooing but really be pushing the baby out.

The MW will deal with any poo very quickly and quietly. She will not draw your attention to it. You may not even know that she has.

It's not a loss of control issue, just that the baby's head will compress your bowel and may squeeze the poo out like toothpaste out of a tube.

So, there is a good chance that neither you nor your partner will notice even if you do poo.

However, I might be tempted to tell your DH that some women do poo, just so that he is forewarned (they sometimes vomit and swear too).

Dee03 · 03/02/2012 22:30

I did with all 3 of mine
The first time I had an epidural so didn't notice really....the midwives get rid of it very quickly and don't mention it, 2nd time I really was paranoid about it so when time came to push I literally shat everywhere and was mortified but midwife was lovely about it and said its natural and you can't stop it....then with 3rd I didn't even think about it but ended up doing it anyway but again it wasn't mentioned........well until afterwards when my xp commented on it as he was sitting behind me , sort of at that angle (home birth on bed) as I was on my side and he saw it .....still makes me chuckle now

piprabbit · 03/02/2012 22:31

Wow - that has to be a record for the number of times 'poo' is used in a single post.

sittinghippo · 03/02/2012 22:58

Oh yes, I forgot about the vomiting, I was throwing up furiously through most of established labour. Poor DH wiping sick of my chin and chest was not one of the highlights...
Glamorous business huh?

NightLark · 03/02/2012 23:02

I have no idea if I pooed or not, but DH described the birth of DC3 as 'very agricultural' so I'm guessing...

ChineapplePunk · 04/02/2012 18:29

Christ! You can vomit during labour as well? I feel a bit dense because I wasn't aware of that. I honestly don't care about pooing, but I HATE being sick. :(

RubyrooUK · 04/02/2012 18:40

I was talking with DH about this the other day after a friend brought up the topic. I asked: did I poo during labour?

He replied: Poo? Did you poo? How the hell would I know? I was watching a grown man bracing himself against a shelving unit while pulling a baby out of you with enormous salad tongs. You think I noticed if you had a poo?

So tell him it's a possibility. If you are concerned about what he sees, tell him you definitely want him holding your hand and mopping your brow at the non-business end.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 04/02/2012 18:44

Gotta love that man

fluffygal · 04/02/2012 18:56

I definitely pooed 2 out of 3, not sure about the first. I even put my hand in it with my last DD as I was trying to feel for her head!! We still laugh about that now! I'm not bothered though, who cares really,you are giving birth to a baby,there will be blood,gunk all over the place, all sorts! If they are your partner surely all they would care about is that you are giving birth to their child, not turn their nose up at the bodily functions that go with it?

cowboylover · 04/02/2012 21:46

Don't worry about it! I did everywhere apparently but he said by that point it really didn't matter. I had been in hospital 6 days before labour and couldn't go when there where people around so it was inevitable in the end. I must have looked great along with being sick and having a nose bleed

You never know what's going to happen I suppose, I don't remember any much of it but my rugby playing husband said he wouldn't want to fight me?!!

Southwestwhippet · 04/02/2012 21:50

I made DH promise that if I did poo, he would lie to me and say I hadn't.

Problem solved.

sheeplikessleep · 04/02/2012 21:51

I poo-ed on ds2 head ...apparently

Flip

1 2