gap between frist child and second child

[CharliesMummyMeg]

what was the gap between ur 1st and 2nd? did you 'forget' what it was like first time round? or did you have your babies close together?
I want a quite a big gap between my two so i can forget what it was all like the first time so the second feels like the first all over again if you can understand my thinking ..

Unless you're planning on giving the first one away I'm not sure how you intend to achieve that.

My gap was four years. It is absolutely fine but I wish it was smaller.

22 months, and i found it quite difficult! hats off to those mummies with smaller gaps!! xx

Five years between mine. And thoroughly wish we hadn't left it that long.

Once the contractions kick in you remember the pain anyway. Not a lot you can do about it. It's the only way to get them out!

Don't let the thought of childbirth delay you having another.

Mine will be 8 yrs!! (As long as everything goes ok with my peanut!)

2 1/2 years between our ds's.

Seemed ok, ds1 was potty trained and in a bed well before ds2 came along, but I could still remember enough of what I was letting myself in for!

I have 3 ds's. 25, 12 and 4. I wouldn't recommend this!

20 months between my two, dd was a lot easier than ds because I remembered what it was like and am hoping to be pregnant again once I am 'allowed' (am having chemo for bowel cancer at the moment)

i dont want to forget because i hated labour etc just want to forget so its nearlly new again if you understand me? want to give my first lots of love before the next one comes along, want him to be in school aswell so i can spend equal amount of time with both babies..

22 months between DS and DD which tbh I found OK. Birth much better with DD as well. And DS was young enough that he didn't really have jealousy issues and DD just fitted in with how things were going.

10 years, and I can tell you my second ds was like having my first all over again. Had to buy everything from scratch for a start. Had forgotten all the hard work bits with ds1, in fact I can remember any bad bits from when ds1 was a child, not that ds2 is particularly hard work, but he's not the perfect baby i seem to deludedlyremember ds1 was

Honestly, they keep getting love when there are two of them. Or more :)

16 months - initially v v hard work but now they're 2 and 3 i'm beginning to see the benefits of having 2 quite close together (and both boys).

funnily enough there's nearly 5 years between my younger brother and me but we're really close now (and did play reasonably well as children)

i sort of see what you mean about forgetting what it's like but don't think it's a good criterion on which to base your decision.

I see what you're thinking. I had a 15month gap then an 18month gap . It's interesting to contrast the relationship between my baby and my 18month old compared to my 3yr old. If you want a bigger gap then 3yrs+ is quite good because a 3yr old is more like a child and a toddler still has a lot of baby behaviour if you see what i mean (nappies, limited communication, still needs lots of help), so you'll have a child and a baby rather than 2 babies.

My biggest priority is how things will be long term and I feel their relationships will be better with a smaller age gap. I hope that they'll appreciate the close relationships with eachother more than how much I treasured their first few months as a baby.

23 months between my DS's.
It has been hard, DS1 was pretty put out when DS2 arrived but now they are 2 and very nearly 4 they play really well together a lot of the time and it's lovely.
Sept DS1 goes to school and DS2 will start pre-school a few hours a week and DC3 will arrive! Not sure how that's going to pan out but we wanted them quite close in age hoping they'd be buddies.

3 years. Which is an excellent gap (IMO) and certainly worked better than the 2 year gap between nos 2 and 3.

me and my youngest brother have an age gap of 15 years and i see him every day, more than the rest of my siblings. This could be because he is like a brother to my ds1 though. Although i do have 3 brothers and 1 sister with various age gaps between us and we all get on well and are a very close knit family. Dp has 16 years between him and his sister and although they get on very well and love each other they are not particularly close iyswim.

I had just under 12 months between my first two but it wasn't planned! The first year was hard but mainly because my second was hard work, my first was never jealous which made it easier. I had my 3rd with a 4 year gap but she gets so jealous when I hold friends babies, she would never have entertained a younger brother or sister (she's 16 months). I had a straightforward birth all 3 times so wasn't completely traumatised thinking about having it again.

15 months between mine.

And I hadn't forgotten.

But it didn't make any difference because in every way it is possible for a baby to be different - mine were different!

sleeping, eating...

Nappies were the same though

If it's twenty months or twenty years since your last baby, it will just all come flooding back anyway.

And there is a lot to be said for the confidence that comes second time round. You know what you're doing. You're comfortable with it. You very rarely let the baby slip out of your hands in the bath

12 months (and 10 days!) between DS1 and 2 - v hard work to start with, but brilliant now.
Took us 4 years to recover from looking after them, so 4 year gap to DS3. DS2 and DS3 'hate each other's guts' according to DS2 .
2 years between DS3 and DS3.

I don't think that there is an ideal age gap. Considering how you are going to be looking after Nr2 baby is all very well, but don't forget that they are babies for a short while, children a bit longer, and longest of all, adults.
And whether they will get on or not depends IMO more on personalities than age gaps.

Re love: every baby gets delivered with its own parcel of love - I like that idea, even though I am the least mushy-sentimental type of person - it's so true.

17 years between my 1st and last 2nd.

Wish I'd had them closer together and they'd both been children together.

Mind you, I am grateful for what I have, regardless of the age gap.

Gap of 2years and gap of 3 years. The 3 year gap was much easier,but the older two with 2 year gap, are able to do more stuff together, whereas the younger is definitely left behind. However, she's young enough to be the baby still, so both the others love her ( and are bitter rivals towards each other)

All the best knittingnovice

xx

17 months, then 19 months....

i think smaller gaps are great. my top two got on very well (with sufficient herding) and had much in common. they were quite happy toddlers together. my top one and bottom one ...it takes much effort to get them to relate to each other. the baby always spoils the childs fun, the child finds the baby frustrating...

though i think in the long run people get on with and can appreciate any age gap.... probably for a close sibling relationship better to have a smaller gap.

in terms of managing a family i think a small age gap makes it easier to find things that are fun for everyone.

My 3 dc's are 4, 6 and 8. The gap between the youngest is 16 months. I'm glad they are close together. Not only are they all good friends and support each other, but all the smelly nappies/night time feeds were done and dusted while I was young enough to (eventually) recover!