gap between frist child and second child

[CharliesMummyMeg]

what was the gap between ur 1st and 2nd? did you 'forget' what it was like first time round? or did you have your babies close together?
I want a quite a big gap between my two so i can forget what it was all like the first time so the second feels like the first all over again if you can understand my thinking ..

23 months between my DS1 and DS2.

I think when 'they're good it's very, very, good and when they're bad, it's horrid!!!'

But I'm sure that the same with all siblings.

I seem to be in 2 camps of friends, alot of my DS1 mum friends seem to have 4 years(ish) between their siblings and really like the separate sense of identity their children have. Whereas alot of my DS2 mum friends seem to have 2 years(ish) between siblings and we all really like the way they are good playmates/muck in together.

6 years, three months and 6 days. Was lovely, easy baby and she came with us to everything her older sibling was doing. Now I have one let home and one still at home getting all the attention, in some ways it is like having two only ones as they have both had a lot of my attention when the other sibling wasn't born and then when the other sibling left home. The bit in the middle wasn't stressed either.

15 months and 2 days between mine. Planned this way as I figured if I ever got to the no nappies/sterilising/getting up at night etc stage then I would never consider going back! They are just 3 and nearly 2 now and best buddies and a plus for me is they entertain each other.

2 years between mine. Yes it was hard work.

Have a friend with a year between hers but she had tons of family support and a p/t working DH whereas I had nada of that. So in terms of what is 'easier' I think it's down to far more than the age gap.

2 years between mine and the only downside is trying to treat them as different ages

it's much easier for them both to go to bed at the same time, but is this fair on the older one etc etc

also there is alot of 'why is she allowed to do that when I can't?' when the oldest one is allowed to do something like going swimming with her friend

but on the plus side they play brilliantly together

there were 4 years between me and my older sister and we were never close

There will be almost exactly 2 years between mine. I wish it was a bit smaller to be honest, I would quite like to get toddlerhood and nappyhood behind me :)

IMO (completely my own you understand) the best time to try for DC2 is just before/around the time DC1 starts walking. I have noticed friends who have waited until DC1 hits toddlerhood and then couldn't face the thought of having another so put it off again as they deal with tantrums, often ending up with 3/4 year gaps that they never intended to have. I was pregnant by the time DD hit that stage, so there was no going back

Oh, and having had a good birth first time round (granted pain-relief all round), I am actively looking forward to it this time. I know that the start of labour heralds the imminent arrival of DC2 - I have none of the fear and all of the excitement this time as I can't wait to meet my baby.

Best of luck knittingnovice you sound very brave.

5 years and 10 days.
BTH not the best choice to wait this long. Yes you do have the one to one time with both babies, but it is very hard to start again: sleepless night nappies, not doing what you want when you want... all what having a baby entice; once you are over the 3 or 4 yo life does get so much more normal and easier.
If you have them close together you are in a haze of tiredness and automatism which just flow for a little longer, even if it is very hard work at the beginning it will be over quicker.

I have been really lucky that DD1 took it so well and was willing to help, I know that with such big age gap it is not always the case. I have many example of resentment/jealousy/nastiness with older siblings around me. If they are close together they just don't remember ever being without their brother or sister and they are just there, and part of the deal.

19 months between DS and DD. DS was such an easy baby, slept through the night from 3 months, good natured, textbook baby, not jealous, and both pregnancies and births were very easy. DD at 1 year still has never slept through the night though, so it will be a while (if ever) before I could even start thinking about a DC3 (and might just be done at 2..).

20 months between mine - and I have proof that it is the perfect age gap - DS1's arms fit exactly round DS2 when he cuddles him .

Short term pain long term gain I say.

Are you asking specifically about labour? I had a difficult time first time round, don't think I forgot about it but figured it couldn't possibly be worse and I survived last time. Second labour was stratospherically easier anyway.