When your dd/ds was born did you..........?

[pepperpots]

Have them delivered straight onto you? ie skin to skin And do you think it affects bonding if not?

no... as i was having an emergency c-section and they didnt ask. after sorting her out and weighing her, they gave me the baba wrapped in a blanket for couple of minutes and then they took baba off me to put her in the recovery room and a minute later i was wheeled in the recovery room with baba

I had a c-section so dd was whisked off straight away, not even shown to DH or me til she'd had her Apgar score (she was drowsy so had a low score to begin with) and was all wrapped up. DH held her while I was being stitched up. She was put on me in recovery for breast feeding, and I held her until we got to my room. Then she was in her cot / held by visitors in the evening. I didn't get proper holds until the next day when I was allowed out of bed (still had catheter and drip in etc).

She's now 15 weeks old. I love her to pieces, and if I'm being honest, there is nobody she settles better with than with me. She can be screaming her head off, and others can hold her, but she wont settle until she's with me. So no, I dont think it affected bonding.

oh and i boned with her straight away whilst BF.. but was struggling to hold her cos of c-section

nope, I had an elective CS. The paediatrician brought him over to see me, stark bollock naked then she wrapped him up and I held him for about 20 mins. DH then took him to the nursery for weighing etc. Babies weren't allowed into the theatre recovery area so it was another hour before I got to hold him. I was anxious about the separation (I knew it was going to happen) but I was actually glad to be separated for a while whilst I got my head around having a baby

When I got back to the ward the spinal had completely worn off, so there was no problems holding or feeding him. Because all the weighing etc had been done he wasn't separtaed from me again, which was fab.

I think the immediate contact affecting bonding thing is very much an attitude thing on the part of the mother. As far as the baby is concerned, a brief separation of a few hours makes bugger all difference. DS I think benefited from a snooze for a few hours as he latched on first time and fed for a good 20 mins. What a pro

No. dd was an elective cs but the anaesthetic (or the excitement or the shock or something) made me shake so much I couldn't have held her. Also not much room - the screen was quite high up! Did skin-to-skin in recovery though.

Ds was whisked straight off to NICU and they wheeled me up to see him a few hours later. Did skin-to-skin the next day.

I bonded quicker with ds actually.

I can't remember everything, it was all a bit action stations, but I think they took him away immediately and brought him back when he was weighed and measured and cleaned up. They seemed to want to intervene at every conceivable point, to be honest, despite me having this hilarious "squatting in a field with whale songs playing" type birth plan. As soon as I decided to transfer to hospital instead of staying at home they seemed to tear up the birth plan and did it all the good old medical way.

Didn't make the slightest bit of difference. I agree a lot of tosh is talked about bonding and that it's not essential for it to happen in a blinding flash of light, but it was like that for me. All these people scurrying about cleaning him up, it didn't matter. KA-BOOM - thunder bolts - I was in love

I did with all 3 of mine. Best feeling in the world. But I don't think it had any affect on bonding. I think alot of factors contribute to bonding - from what kind of birth you had, to how they feed, how much they cry, what kind of baby they are. So I don't think if you don't have them delivered onto you it makes bonding harder.

My hospital have a really strong skin to skin policy and I held both my babies for ages. I treasure those memories of their hot, slippery little bodies! Don't know if it affected bonding, though. I didn't feel overcome with love for either for days.

No. Both electives, they were whisked off to the table for APGAR checking and handed to dh. I saw ds upside-down for a second and dd not at all as she suddenly crashed and had to be taken to SCBU.
It didn't affect bonding with either of them. Loved them dearly right away but I sometimes feel a pang about the clinicality of both my c-sections. Main thing is two healthy, adorable, maddening children

no for ds, hospital birth with instumental delivery after a long labour, meconium traces in the amniotic fluid, he was whisked away for checking over as soon as he was finally wrenched out.

yes for dd, home birth in water, got to hold her straightway - she weighed a ton! well 10.5lb anyway. i stood up holding her for ages then couldn't get up again for 36hrs!

the birth experiences were immaterial to the bonding though.

i think it does for some and not for others (affect bonding, that is). I remember reading on here that someone had asked for their baby to be delivered onto their tummy but the midwife didn't do it, and (she believes) as a result of that (and a few other factors) she suffered PND. hope i got that right. But my point is, it had a huge effect on her that she was still feeling many years later.

Dd1 had an assisted delivery, so she was taken away and checked over before I got to hold her (but I could see her, she was only five feet away). I remember when dd2 was born they just put her on the bed, and I felt vaguely miffed that I had to wait until she was given to me (not for any medical reason), but it didn't worry me overly much.

If it is something that is important to you, then you must put it in your birth plan and tell your partner to make sure the midwife delivering the baby knows your wishes.

No with DS1 and 2 as I gave birth on my kness clutching the headboard for dear life! Once I'd managed to turn around they'd already been wrapped in blankets.

With DD I was on my back and she was put straight on, but I had a t-shirt on so no skin to skin. I don't think she minds!

I don't feel that I bonded any better with DD than with the DSs (not entirely sure what that feels like anyway?)

No because I had a caesarian and they'd never heard of it. It didn't affect 'bonding' at all. I think bonding in humans is a very complex thing and NOT the same as in animals.

I don't think it makes much difference. The baby I bonded with the strongest was ds2. Bonding was immediate and overwhelming and at that point I hadn't even seen him, let alone touched him! I must admit to being a tad disappointed that I didn't get the same torrent of emotion with subsequent babies. I don't know why that should be as I can't think of anything materially differnt about the labours etc.

Made no difference at all to breastfeeding. DD is eleven months and still feeding.

I felt instant, overwhelming love both times.

Yes, and it was lovely, but don't think it had any bearing on bonding.

Big thing for me was when dd was born, dh was holding her all wrapped up warm in blankets, and I said something, and at the moment she heard my voice she turned her head to me and locked her eyes on me. She recognised me already and sought me out in that room full of people. I was so moved.

Waswondering - I don't think there's a reason why not but you'll want to check your hospital's policy and make sure your preferences are made very clear at the time.

Meant to say, didn't have skin to skin with any of my babies, and IMO no it does not affect bonding.

Moondog- thanks

The first time I saw DS1 after the birth (first time I saw him conscious and breathing) I was wheeled in to the ICU and was quite shocked because he looked so tiny and odd hooked up to machines with all the tubes etc, (I'm sure you've heard it all before) but when I spoke to him, his heart rate came down immediately on the monitor. DH started crying, he was so moved

Oh MOM,that is lovely....