Home birth - should I do it?

[Flowerface]

Sorry, this has probably been done to death on here.

But I am tempted by the idea of a home birth. We live about four minutes drive from the hospital, so could be there in an instant if anything went wrong. It is my second DC. With DD, my contractions weren't strong enough once I was fully dilated and I needed an IV, but my MW seems to think there is no reason for this to happen again. And I suppose we could just go in if it did. But the questions are:

Is there a massive mess? (My DH is VERY worried about this?!)

What did you do about older children? My MW seems to think that they sleep through the whole thing if it's at night, but I am a bit dubious about this... (our house is small). What if it's still going on when they wake up in the am.?

If you had one hospital and one home, did you really find the latter more calm?

I like the idea of having more control over my interactions with the baby after birth, and us getting straight into our own bed. But I am also haunted by a nightmare scenario of DD crying, neighbours calling the police, blood splattering the walls...

Yes yes yes do it!!

I've had all 3 of mine at home so I can't compare to a hospital birth but I felt so calm and comfortable at home.

Mess is all contained by good preparation. Lots of floor/ bed/sofa coverings and midwives will dispose of it all. My 2nd and 3rd births were in the day so the older dcs went out with grandparents.

Good luck!

I have had 1 hospital birth and 1 home birth. I would always suggest a home birth to anyone unless they have a medical reason they can't.

No one rang the police, there was no blood on the walls. Mine was during the day too so DS1 had a day out with his grandad and then had a sleep over at my Mums.

Go for it!!!!

I would say go for it. DS was a planned home birth, but we transferred. I laboured so much better at home than in hospital. The next one will be a home birth
Can you get a friend/relative/doula to sit in, or go out with the kids if you need it? Also, how old are they, do they understand what's going on? Some kids deal with birth really well, I know one little boy (4yo) who (after watching lots of "Home Birth Diaries" with his mum) was devastated he slept through his sister's birth! Even if they are not present, they will be less worried about it if you have a chat to them about what is going to happen, focus on the positive about how there will be a lovely new sibling, but explain there may be some strange people about and mummy might not be feeling very well for a bit, but it will be OK.
Have you considered a birth pool? They contain any mess quite well. Other than that, shower curtains, old towels and old duvets.

I was much more relaxed with my home births even though I had to fight to have them as my first was nearly 17 years ago and not the 'done thing' then. Everyone looked at me in horror when I suggested it.

I really hated being in hospital with DD1 although I was induced and then constantly monitored so that may have been part of the reason. I have also had an emergency transfer during labour which all went smoothly too.

Everyone else cleared up the mess . I used an old waterproof table cover and lots of towels. MIL looked after the others when DD2 was born, no one looked after the others when DS2 was born, that all went a bit pearshaped as he was early

Its so lovely being at home straight after. DH cooked the midwife bacon butties!
Good Luck

Do it! Do it!

I had a horrid hospital birth for DD1 and a lovely home birth for DD2.

Regarding older children, my labour was overnight (which is apparently very common amongst second time home birthers - as in, a bit more common than you would expect by chance). Our house is small too and DD1 did stir a couple of times (I was loud) but DH nipped up to see her and she settled off. She's a pretty good sleeper these days, which helped. I gave birth early morning, but if I hadn't the plan was for DH to take her round to friends to be looked after - just as he would have done if I'd gone to hospital.

I had a water birth and my waters only went at the end, so no real mess, except in the pool itself. Oh, plus some blood on towels where I had got out for the placenta. If your DH isn't a dab hand with washing, brief him on a cold wash first for any nasty towels, stops the blood setting as badly. We used one good towel by accident and it came up fine.

I am toying with a no. 3, eventually, and would definitely plan for another homebirth if we do.

I had dd1 at home and was booked for HB with dd2 until she decided to come early and we were told we had to go in :( There was virtually no ,mess as dd1 was born in a pool and all gunk went into the water!

have had three homebirths,

very good experience everytime - stats for 2nd timers are really good

something like 12% Transfer, so most likely you would deliver at home.

all mess vanished with MW.

average time in labour is abut 2.5 hours shorter than in hospital.

my older kids ..first time she had a long afternoon nap (she was 17mo) and i had both DH and my mum so one could manage toddler whilst i got on with producing baby.

second time they slept, and came in when the MWs left in the morning to say good morning to their littl esister.

Go for it DD2 was born at home.
It's a wonderful way to have a baby.

Labouring without the whole ward watching. Attempting to finish a cup of tea while watching DH build the babies crib rather than pacing the hospital corridors. Washing afterwards in your own bath.

Learning to BF in private. Eating lunch in bed snuggled up with DH, DD1 and a 6 hr old DD2. Friends coming round that afternoon and being able to let their DDs meet DD2 (no hospital siblings only rule).

DD1 had slept through the whole thing. Walked in while I was delivering the placenta (didn't notice) little sister was much more interesting.
There was no mess, MW were brilliant insisted on changing the bed and left the place cleaner than it usually is.

The friends had been meant to have DD1, but as she was a sleep I didn't drag them out of bed either. They had DD1 for tea instead and parents and new baby slept

My only worry is that we have no family nearby and our house is very small, so it isn't as though I could be in labour in one room and anyone could be obliviously in another! We have people who have volunteered to have DD (she is 2), but I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable with them coming over and seeing me in the throes of delivery!

On the other hand, I do really like the idea of it, so maybe I should stop being so paranoid about DD. Judging by the way she reacted when I took her with me to have a scan, she wouldn't be very happy about encountering any stage of the proceedings...

Do you hire a pool for a water birth, BTW?

Sounds like my house Flowerface. One big living area which has the front door onto it. Anyone entering or leaving the house would have to walk past me. There are things you can do - don't let your house put you off. You can move furniture, hang drapes or shower curtains from the ceiling to screen off parts of the room. That way your DD1 doesn't have to see you if she comes past.

Also, there is no reason people looking after DD1 would need to come into the house. They arrive, DH takes DD1 outside to meet them. Simple!

Yes, you hire or buy a pool for a water birth. The midwives won't provide one.

Happy to chat on PM if you want boring details of what we did to our room!

Thanks! I might do that. I am probably overthinking the DD thing - if it's at night, she will be asleep (and still in a cot, so she can't escape!) and if during the day she can go out with a friend. Last time I was in labour for 30 hours, and did most of it at home (was 8cm by the time I went in). I do really like the idea of own bed, own food, proper bonding with the baby afterwards... (last time the midwife moved DD away from me in the fish tank and said "you need to keep them far away so they can't smell you". !!) Need to work on DH. But my MW was quite pro-home birth, so maybe she could talk to him...

I had a very long latent stage with DD1 and, depending on how I count it, it was either about 48 or about 60 hours with her. DD2 was about 9 hours of full on 'this is the only thing I can concentrate on' time, which half a day of niggles before things got going.

It was brilliant being at home afterwards. My placenta was stubborn and took ages, which I could have done without. So there was quite a long period of placenta and stitches. But during that time DH was looking after DD1 (who had woken for the day) in her bedroom, introducing her to DD2, getting some breakfast. I still grin when I think about DD1 waking up to find she had a sister, and having a still naked (only wearing a towel) baby brought up to say hello.

What are your DH's concerns? Safety (in which case that recent study might help) or house size, or what?

Join here and read everything here
And get your DH to read this

You can always opt-in to a hospital birth but not necessarily the other way round

another vote for home birth

I had my first baby at home in september and it was great.

No mess (though i was pleased i put a waterproof bed sheet in my sofa as i ended up kneeling on sofa when waters went, and then gave birth on there 3 contractions later)

Wonderful to get into my nice clean bath (while OH cuddled baby), then my nice clean kingsize egyption cotton sheets bed with OH, and eat chocolate brioche afterwards (not toast) and have a whole kitchen full of all my favourite foods to eat whenever i wanted it.
Same selection of food avaliable for OH to eat / cook when ever he liked too.

I was not kept awake by any other screaming babies and could watch my TV on my sofa etc etc etc.
The house was a comfortable temperature etc etc etc

i could go on and on and on.

I think he was worried about the mess, and that he would have to do more (though he did end up doing quite a lot the last time). He tends to prefer to take the easiest/most popular route in most things, so I think he thinks that having a baby in hospital is just the done thing, rather than any specific worries. I don't think he is worried about safety, given how close we are to the hospital. Anyway, he is now saying it is my decision and he will support me...

Go for it!

Some home birth support groups and the like have birth pools to lend, you just need to buy the liner.

Definite HB. I had one hospital and two HB, hospital was awful, HB fab.

I saw no mess at all, the MW brought those disposable mats and just scooped everything up at the end.

It was wonderful.

DC3 was born at 6 am, laboured through the night, the older two (5 and 3 at the time) didn't even stir. 2 bed flat! And I'm noisy

Flowerface Can I hijack for a second?

What about pain relief? I had an epidural with my DD (I was induced).

Would I be able to cope at home with only G & A?

I didn't have any pain relief the first time round, other than G&A... It was too late by the time I went in. My DH has read this thread and now seems very enthusiastic about home birth, so thanks everyone!!

IloveGreggs - I wasn't induced with DD1, but my labour was augmented - ARM and then synoticinon. As a result, I had an epidural. I managed at home for DD2 without any form of chemical pain relief, not even gas and air. I say no chemical pain relief, because I found positioning, yelling and mooing like a cow vocalising and the pool all to be very helpful techniques, and the pool was actually genuinely pain relieving.

With regards to pain relief, i managed just fine on 2 paracetamol and TENS.

(There was gas and air avaliable and i had a pethidine prescription too, but i didnt use them)