Is it just me or does anyone else HATE the vaginal examinations during labour?

[MentalMuslimMummy]

Hi mumsnetters, Ive just joined :D

was laughing about what you all had to say on the 'How to be a good mother' documentary. v amusing I must say ;)

Ok so i really want another baby.....BUT the thought of having a VE scares the shite out of me. I just detest them beyond belief and feel not only violated but so upset about having to through them again. Ive had two children, 2 natural births alhamdulilah (thanks to God) but jeeez man Im just considering an epidural next time so I cant feel anything when they have to do them. I swear childbirth is a breeze compared to a VE.

what do you think?

I've never had one. Can't you decline them?

I hated them too, I was very opposed to an epidural but had one in the end because of the VEs not the labour itself. I will refuse them next time.

You don't have to have vaginal exams. You can refuse.

I didnt find them bad at all compared to everything else thats going on except wen a contraction would peak at the same time as a VE. Dont they need to do them to check dialation and all?

Oh no I LOVE them.... no, wait, I hate them too.

The way the NHS random midwifes who changed each time one was due, yes. Had an epidural in place but was under the care of a student midwife (this was about twenty hours in) and she said "ohh, that's strange, I'll just go and get my superviser." And off she went, OH and I sitting there going 'what's stange?'. She comes back with the supervisor, who proceeds to stick her hand up my chuff as well, her comment being 'ohh, yes I see what you mean" OH and I 'what, what's going on?' ' Your cervix is nice and stretchy and we can move it but every time you have a contraction, it gets smaller again. And by the feel of things, your little girl has a lot of hair. Which was all tmi!
But totally different experience with the private midwifeson my second birth, very respectful and there was no way they were going to try and pressurise me into having them.

Kayjay, there are other ways of guestimating how far along you are, length and timing of contractions, behaviour during transition (a huge blue line running down my backside on birth number two, can't remember what it's called)) but for the NHS, it's easier to try and do it 'scientifically'. But even then it's not very accurate as measurement will vary according to the person doing it.

Well morning of DDs birth i went in their and was 2cm dialated contractions 3 every 10 mins then after 4-5 hours my contractions slowed down so they took me off the monitors n told me to relax sleep a bit n that nothing was happening anytime soon as i was still only 3cm dialated.. An hour an a half later i had to call the nurses cause i was still in pain n couldnt get comfy they gave me pethadine and checked a hour and half after the pethadine and i was 6-7 cm dialated they freaked out and quickly sent me back to delivery DD was born hour later! My contractions had practically stopped when i dialated the most

I don't think anyone likes a vaginal exam. It is extremely instrusive although it is no worse than a cervical smear or having a coil fitted.

The people doing VE are not doing them for enjoyment purposes. It does seem sad that hospitals can't do some kind of utra sound to see how far a cervix is dilated. Although its probably a good thing as it would make birth even less active if there was a machine that could monitor the cervix.

I had two VE with both labours.

I am expecting my first DC in March and the horror stories I have heard on MN about VEs have scared me! I am not bothered by smears or colposcopies - are VEs worse or if I don't mind the former, am I likely to be ok with the latter? Thanks.

i think it depends, make sure if you have one they do it when you are NOT having a contraction! some midwives are just better than others i have had some that i hardly felt at all and others that were awful! you can ask for gas and air whilst they do them :)

but like others have said you dont need them, with dd once they broke my waters i only had one ve and that was at my request.

with ds4 once my waters went i didnt have any, i got in the pool and laboured int here, the midwife could tell when he was about to arrive by my behaviour, the mooing! and also by looking at my back?

infact with ds2 and ds3 i think i only had one ve each time as well once they broke my waters.

i found i could just breathe through them like i do a smear test but you can have gas and air for them, i also found if i put my hands in a fist under the small of my back then somehow that made them easier? think it tilts your pelives/cervix so it is easier for thee midwife as well :)

Loveinacoldclimate I think you are on the wrong thread here if you are still waiting to give birth, it's likely to attract lots of posters who hate VEs isn't it! I was utterly relaxed about them, didn't know there was an issue, didn't find them any more difficult than any other part of labour. I'm sure there are ohter people like me out there. Don't add it to your list of worries!

Good point, Surgeon - and thanks!

I have always been asked beforehand if it's ok for them to do it, which I assume gives you the option to refuse.
I can honestly say I can't remember them being uncomfortable or painful whilst in full Labour Zone.
I had a sweep with DS1 that was horrible and left me waddling round uncomfortably for a couple of days.

I hate having a smear and hated even more having the mirena coil fitted, I think in labour your mind is on other things but with a smear or a coil fitting it feels all too raw and medical.

I gave birth yesterday and the VEs were the least of my concerns

Hated VEs whilst in labour, absolutely hated them. Much worse for me than a smear or having my coil fitted.

Just say no.....you cant be forced to have one.

Off topic but how early have you ladies had the coil fitted after birth??

About a year with me.

I had 3 with the last one being in the pool I think (very hazy) to confirm I was fully dilated! They didn't hurt as they were timed to avoid a contraction.

You dont have to have Vaginal exams, i only had one in two labours. I didnt have an epidural so was quite clear when i was in transistion and when i needed to push!

Just say no!
No one is going to force you to have one (if they did it would be assault) So write it in your birthplan, tell your birth partner and scream NO if anyone comes near you with a glove on. You do not have to have one.

I was fine with sweeps and VEs in early labour although I found my MW far far too keen on them which started to panic me with no reason (having debriefed with my labour notes) IMO it's because no one was willing to make a decision.

The fourth in one hour I screamed no. My husband shouted stop. The consultant told him he was being inappropriate & was upsetting his flunky.

This time I am refusing. Luckily I have a very understanding private midwife.