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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Will be 38.5 weeks at my sisters wedding in Ireland but I'm living in UK

38 replies

corkylady · 02/01/2012 12:19

I am 8 weeks now, we are thrilled as I have PCOS so was unexpected. We thought we would need help in having a baby. I told my family in Ireland and close friends and they are ecstatic. The only thing is my sister is getting married on the 23/08/12 11 days after my due date :0. The thing is i'm living in the UK the last 4 years. My parents & all my family (1 sister & 5 brothers live in Cork). The wedding is in Cork. My friends and family think the solution is easy and that I should move over to Ireland before the birth. My husband agrees as he has a good few hols built up so says he can take a month or so off :). They are all stressing to me that I will have so much support from family & close friends while there.

The thing is don't think it will be that easy. Has anyone done anything like this to go to a siblings wedding?

As I'm not resident in Ireland I think I will have to pay for the birth etc but the care the weeks before are covered by the European health card as far as I know from reading other websites. Does anyone know how much the birth and accommodation would cost in a public hospital if I were to go back at say 35 weeks (all going well with pregnancy that is)?

I know the easiest options is to count my blessings for getting pregnant and accept I can't go, but I want to explore all avenues first. She is my only sister, we're really close and I'm chief bridesmaid so would really love to be there. Do you think I'm even thinking I could be there on her big day?

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Original poster

corkylady · 02/01/2012 12:22

sorry my sisters wedding is 23/07/12 sorry for typo

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Original poster

corkylady · 02/01/2012 12:25

and I and due 11 days after her wedding not before...

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Twunk · 02/01/2012 12:28

My sister lives in France and my wedding was in England. She was 36 weeks pregnant and couldn't travel - her husband came with her sons. I spoke to her straight after the ceremony and she was crying, but she couldn't have come because she lives in the far South and couldn't fly.

Sorry no help, I did miss her horribly but I wouldn't have expected her to miss the comforts of home etc for my wedding. Could you set up a weblink?

I guess it depends how you feel about living in Ireland for a while. When DS2 was born prematurely I was at my parents (I now live in Holland) and he was very sick and in hospital for 3 weeks...

I'm rambling really....

Original poster

corkylady · 02/01/2012 12:32

yes Twunk I would feel comfortable in Ireland, its only my parents in their house now so will have the room for us to stay. Yes if I don't go would love to set up a weblink so will look into that if need be. Thank you.

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Twunk · 04/01/2012 23:36

Hmmmm well you might have had the baby by then anyway! Or be in labour as she walks down the aisle . I think if you'd like to spend the time in Ireland anyway then do it, if not go down the web link route.

RunJHC · 05/01/2012 03:17

Being at your parents' house with a newborn may be no bad thing-will give you a chance to focus on baby with someone else cooking/washing/shopping/waiting on you etc!

No idea about birth costs etc-hopefully someone else will be along to help...

Xmasbaby11 · 05/01/2012 10:37

Personally I would not want to. It's far too close to the due date and tbh you will probably not feel like travelling at that stage. You have to accept you may miss the wedding even if you are in the country. It's very drastic to move somewhere for a few weeks or so! But if it's somewhere you feel comfortable, spend some time looking into it - you have some time to decide.

Neuromantic · 05/01/2012 10:44

you wouldn't have to pay though, no.

RockChick1984 · 05/01/2012 17:46

It's cutting it very fine with those dates to be honest. You may still be pregnant, or even in labour! If you had some pregnancy condition eg pre eclampsia you probably wouldn't be able to fly at that late stage. How long would you plan to stay after the birth? So long as everything went well you could apply for a passport for your DC but if anything went wrong (fingers crossed it doesn't!) your dc or you may have to stay in hospital. I don't want to sound all doom and gloom, but please make sure you have considered the worst case scenarios before committing to this idea.

cantreachmytoes · 06/01/2012 06:51

On the payment front I'm not sure about the details, but I was looking at doing something similar (EU going back to UK) and I got the EU healthcard so the NHS could claim the costs from my country. I think the UK has a similar card (form E111?? - sounds like a food colouring).

Webcam sounds good though! Even if you haven't delivered, you might not feel like being doing much other than putting your feet up!!

Neuromantic · 06/01/2012 12:20

You dont need a passport for the baby either, if you get a ferry back.

Tenebrist · 06/01/2012 12:54

You might be lucky, feel great even at the end, get through the ceremony and then give birth on time 11 days later. Or your DC might do what mine did and come 11 days early for no particular reason. Would your DSis be OK if you effectively stole the show (inadvertently) if your waters broke suddenly during the ceremony? I do somehow think it would be best to do the whole thing with a weblink.

ginmakesitallok · 06/01/2012 12:58

You also don't need a passport for flying back for some airlines - just birth cert. But would you register baby in Ireland??

ginmakesitallok · 06/01/2012 13:00

And that's another question! What if you are a week early and want to stay with family til after wedding - won't you be too late to come back and register baby in UK?

Original poster

corkylady · 06/01/2012 13:20

RunJHC, yes think I would like to be at my parents and once my DH there too will be happy, lots to think about and consider. Will have to look at how to keep costs down. Thanks you :)

Xmasbaby11, I don't think the travel wouldn't bother me as flight only 1 hour. I do feel if Im in the country I have a good chance at making wedding and if baby comes at the wrong time at least I know I'll have done my best to be there :) I would travel when/if the midwife says is good to go back and also only once this is an uncomplicated pregnancy. I want to make a decision soon for my own sanity. If I can not make wedding then I have a good while to accept it :(. Thanks you :)

Rockchick, I will only go once pregnancy uncomplicated, I think I would go to Ireland at 36 weeks at the latest and stay for two weeks after birth. As Neuromantic said I won't need passport for ferry. I know Aer Lingus may just want to see birth cert. Ryanair are a different story they would want a passport so definitely not an option. Thank you :)

cantreachmytoes, If I am in Ireland and not in labour, or had baby I would hopefully be well enough to go to wedding. The Church, Hotel and Hospital are all local to my parents house. At this stage I'd be happy to make the church, dinner and speeches and maybe a bit of dancing that will bring the birth on :0.

I have the EU healthcard called EHIC which replaces the E1111 card in the UK. Are you still looking at giving birth in the UK? I have read on NHS website about 'Giving Birth Abroad' and it mentioned a form called S2 (formerly E112). S2 form states that the NHS will cover treatment or that I will get same treatment as resident which means I'd have free care. Don't know how easily these forms are granted though! The NHS site gave a number for the Overseas Healthcare Team in Newcastle who issue these forms but a guy I spoke to (kept putting me on hold to ask a colleague seemed clueless) told me that no paperwork passes between the UK and Ireland that there is just an agreement and to contact Healthboard in Ireland.

Contacted the healthboard in Ireland HSE but number keeps ringing out so sent an email asking as an Irish Citizen and Uk resident am I covered with this S2 form so am just waiting on reply. Thank you :)

Neuromantic, Do you know someone in this situation who went to Ireland to give birth? From the HSE site I read that they will only cover 'ordinarily residents' which would be hard for me to prove if they ask for proof. How do think I will get it free? ie. blag it? if I meet a nice GP who will just sign forms no questions asked? or do you think they will be no problems for me at all? thank you :)

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Original poster

corkylady · 06/01/2012 13:26

Tenebrist, I hope I wouldn't end up stealing the show would be a story to tell, don't think Dsis would mind hospital local to hotel so maybe she would pop in to see new neice or nephew ;). In all seriousness though I know the webcam is the sensible thing to do but if I go over by two weeks would kick myself that I would have been ok to be there. thank you :)

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BagofHolly · 06/01/2012 13:27

Travel, at 36 weeks on a ferry, to Cork, presumably through rosslare or Swansea. Sick, high seas, waters break, then what?
I'd go a LOT sooner, or not at all. Can't she put the wedding back a bit?

Original poster

corkylady · 06/01/2012 13:30

ginmakesitallok, i have only slightly looked into this. I would have to register the birth in Ireland as like over here the hospital send details of all new births to the birth registrar. Therefore I could not register the birth in UK. With a baby born in the Uk you have 42 days to register the birth. I was thinking about child benefit when I move back wondering if there will be a problem claiming with an Irish Birth Cert. This is something I have to look into more.... Thank you :)

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Original poster

corkylady · 06/01/2012 13:36

BagofHolly, with all the organising she has done the last 18 months I could not ask her to change date although it did cross my mind at first. Just hoping I will go into labour after wedding :0. I think I'd probably fly just before 36weeks at that stage once I had doctors note it will be ok or if I'm going by ferry and doctor reccommends travelling earlier I would.

There's a two hour ferry from Fishguard to Rosslare with Stena who have no restrictions at all once you have doctors note but wouldn't leave it later than 36 weeks.

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Neuromantic · 06/01/2012 13:48

In my experience if you look and sound Irish and you have a local address, so your parents, noone would even think of trying to bill you for anything. You know what Ireland is like, there are rules and there is reality, these arent always the same thing!

I dont really see what all the fuss is about, sure anything could happen, but 99% likely is you,ll be a few days, a week late, youll be perfectly fine to go the wedding and will have your baby a good fortnight later, perfectly normally whether in Ireland or the Uk.

ginmakesitallok · 06/01/2012 13:50

This all seems an awful lot of hassle to go to a wedding..... Is changing the date completely out of the question??

Original poster

corkylady · 06/01/2012 13:56

Thank you Nueromatic, I'm going to call into my families GP and have a chat when I'm home next. So hopefully if going ahead with birth in Ireland will be all booked in with hospital after that. My mother never went early with any of the 7 of us so hopefully its in the genes :)

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Original poster

corkylady · 06/01/2012 14:00

ginmakesitallok, changing date was never even mentioned by my family. They just all think its a great idea for me to move over there for the family support. At this stage she probably couldn't get everything she has booked changed for a different date. Unfortunately I know it is out of the question :(

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Xmasbaby11 · 06/01/2012 15:35

Your family sounds great and very supportive! I think it will be lovely to go, since you all want the same thing and it means a lot to everyone. Even if you do miss the wedding, you will get a lot of time with family and enjoy the wedding before/after which is exciting!

Logistically it sounds doable - go for it! Good luck. x

TimothyClaypoleLover · 06/01/2012 15:46

I had to miss my dad's wedding as it was 2 days after I had given birth to DD. Was only 3 days overdue so wedding was 5 days after my due date. Really gutted to have missed the wedding and seeing all the family but there was no way I could have gone to the wedding 2 days after the birth.

Relocating to Ireland is an option but sounds an awful lot of hassle and you do not know what type of pregnancy you will have. Hopefully it will be uneventful. You may feel exhausted and fed up if you are heavily pregnant and just want home comforts rather than going to a wedding.

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