Will be 38.5 weeks at my sisters wedding in Ireland but I'm living in UK

[corkylady]

I am 8 weeks now, we are thrilled as I have PCOS so was unexpected. We thought we would need help in having a baby. I told my family in Ireland and close friends and they are ecstatic. The only thing is my sister is getting married on the 23/08/12 11 days after my due date :0. The thing is i'm living in the UK the last 4 years. My parents & all my family (1 sister & 5 brothers live in Cork). The wedding is in Cork. My friends and family think the solution is easy and that I should move over to Ireland before the birth. My husband agrees as he has a good few hols built up so says he can take a month or so off :). They are all stressing to me that I will have so much support from family & close friends while there.

The thing is don't think it will be that easy. Has anyone done anything like this to go to a siblings wedding?

As I'm not resident in Ireland I think I will have to pay for the birth etc but the care the weeks before are covered by the European health card as far as I know from reading other websites. Does anyone know how much the birth and accommodation would cost in a public hospital if I were to go back at say 35 weeks (all going well with pregnancy that is)?

I know the easiest options is to count my blessings for getting pregnant and accept I can't go, but I want to explore all avenues first. She is my only sister, we're really close and I'm chief bridesmaid so would really love to be there. Do you think I'm even thinking I could be there on her big day?

I was due my first dd on 2/10/11 and my brothers wedding was 1/10/11... I made it to his wedding !! Ended up going into labour on the 29th, delivered dd at 8pm on the 30/09/11, out hospital the morning of his wedding and drove myself and my 23 hr old baby the 30 min journey to the hotel. Almost gave everyone a heart attack when I turned up!!!

After having dd that night, I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be at his wedding and was honestly heartbroken. The next morning, he and my dad turned up at the hospital a few hrs before they were due to leave for the wedding. I was in tears, he was in tears.. It was all very emotional . Then when the midwife poped her head round to ask if I was ok, I told her the story and begged to be let home! She managed to get all the paperwork sorted and I was out at 5pm. It was home, shower, dressed and off we went!! So glad I made it just for a few hours, I couldn't have missed it!

I kno everyone's situation is different, but just wanted to share my story with you . Good luck!!

Can you get back after the wedding? I know people are pointing out that you could have given birth/be in labour by then, but you very well may not have either. I was induced at 41+6 so would have had three weeks to get back! Is this feasible on the ferry?

That's a good point. Will you be 'stuck' in Ireland if you go overdue? I guess technically you could go two weeks over, end up with a c section and unable to travel for 4-6 weeks afterwards, so if you travel over at 36 weeks you could end up in Ireland for 12 weeks...

xmas baby, yes have a great family. All I can do is explore the possibility and hope all works out for the best in the end. Thank you :)

TimothyClay, Its doesn't seem too much hassle to me , really don't want to miss the wedding. I go back to my parents at least 3 times a year and my family come over to me also. Ireland is a 'home from home' for me. iIf the pregnancy doesn't go uncomplicated then I would not risk going but hopefully everything will be positive. We'll see what happens.... Thank you :)

GrovyRach, Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I will be heartbroken too if I miss it, but only time will tell what happens. Thank you :)

working9, Yes this is something I am discussing with my DH, Stena Line do allow pregnant passengers to travel with no limit once there is a doctors note. I will have to see how the pregnancy goes and what the consultants and doctors think at a later stage. However, I do feel if I am going to the wedding and ok to travel back to UK that I should still prepare for the possibility of that I may go into early labour in Ireland. Thank you :)

KD0706, I do hope to be settled back in the UK after 8 weeks at the most (allowing for myself to go over by 2 weeks and then 2weeks after birth) but this does depend on the labour etc. I do know if I end up having a c section and all is healing well I will be allowed to travel back after 2 weeks although will want to DH with me. Thank you :)

Ifyou want to fly to Ireland, check carefully the airline's policy regarding the latest in pregnancy that you can fly. I had to cancel a holiday in May because the airline's cut off is 34 weeks...they will not allow you to fly once you enter the 34th week. I would have been 33 weeks on the outward leg so could have flown out but they would not have let me return as I would have been 35 weeks by then.

I'm sure it will all work out

Sorry about that. Full text:

I'm sure it will all work out one way or another.
Babies are so unpredictable. My friend and I had the exact same due date for our DC1s but in the end there was eleven weeks between their births. (my monkey DD came 9 weeks early, and my friend went two weeks over)

Corkylady - another thing you may want to consider is whether the standard of care you'd receive in the hospital in Ireland would be the same as what you'd receive in your chosen hospital in the UK. My sister is a midwife in a Dublin hospital and from what she tells me about all the cutbacks at the moment I'm very glad to be having my baby in the UK (although in another way I'd love to be home). From my limited understanding, the UK hospitals (and neo-natal units) seem to be much better staffed and resourced than the Irish ones.

I had my DD at 35 weeks their where no signs completly healthy pregnancy!! If your going to do this u need to weigh up alot of options, babys come as early as 32 weeks commonly, also you have to think of the safetly of you and DC with traveling their isnt easy acess to hospitals or doctors, stress and pressure can put you into preterm labour, traveling as well as being chef bridesmade thats alot of stress and pressure, also what if you get a C-sec? You wont be able to travel for at least 8 weeks and is it good then for DC to get into a routine in cork then have a sudden lifestyle change back to your home? This is just my opinion as i was going to travel to see the partners family over my due date and at first we where like "yeah its all easy if we have the baby down their" after weighing up pros n cons we decided its not a good idea, lucky as i had DD a week after i was ment to go down their she was 5 weeks premi and had to stay in hospital for 2 weeks......

AnEcumenicalMatter, I have checked this out can fly up to 36 weeks with a doctors note. Stena line have no limit once there's a doctors note but would not do that long journey to late in pregnancy. Thank you.

KD0706, thank you, yes all going well it will all work out, you must have got some shock when DD decided to make an appearance 9 weeks early :)

DamsonJam, Thank you, it was something I thought about and think your probably right that some UK hospitals may be better resourced, but on listening to stories from friends and family who have had babies in Cork seems to be an excellent hospital. Although I'm sure I'll hear some bad stories as there seems to be one about all hospitals.

Kayjaybabe, I have loads to think about, If I am doing this I will travel when doctors advise me to and only once this is an uncomplicated pregnancy. I do know if I end up having a c section and all is healing well I will be allowed to travel back after 2 weeks although will want to DH with me. Thank you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP. Am originally from Cork myself, but these days move between Ireland and the UK for work, and will be having my baby in the UK (in not very long!)

I hear good things about the CUH - though I don't myself know anyone who gave birth there since Erinville and the other maternity units amalgamated there - but I agree with whoever suggested up the thread that you look into the services provided and the kind of birth you can have, as when my partner and I looked into having our baby in Ireland (not in Cork), we found there were a lot fewer options than in many UK hospitals for things like midwife-led birthing units, pools for water births, less medicalised options etc. I've had some of my antenatal care in Ireland, and have generally found it much more old-school and doctrinaire than my experience in the UK. This may not be the case in the CUH, obviously, or it may not bother you, but do check it out before making your decision.

I admire your determination to make the wedding! Having said that, try and keep an open mind on how you'll feel closer to the time as you're still so early in your pregnancy. I was zapping around the place, flying regularly, working hard and feeling wonderful throughout my pregnancy until about a week ago, and now, suddenly, I'm absolutely exhausted, finding travelling absolutely draining (getting very motion sick), sleeping badly and finding all kinds of normal things acutely uncomfortable. I realise you would have all home support etc in Cork, and it matters a lot to you to be there, but it's possible you'll feel differently closer to the time, even if the pregnancy is uncomplicated - don't put yourself under mad pressure. Best wishes whatever you decide.

Several of my friends have had their littlies at the new maternity hospital. Positive experiences all round.