Got to have a CS- but can't do it!

[secondtimemum]

Hi
I posted in pregnancy about being breech at 34 weeks, and having to have an ECV at 37 weeks. Just had scan and been told that ECV would not probably work due to size, position of baby and fluid and everything it felt like.
I've been told that I've got to have a CS. I know the risks of a natural birth and I know a healthy baby is the most important thing but...
I just can't have one. It's really freaking me out, could not explain to the consultant without sounding loopy, so said nothing and asked no questions. But I just know I can't have one. I just want to run away. please can someone reasure me that they felt like this but was then ok when it happened.

well.....it is possible to have a natural birth with a breech baby...

what frightens you about it?

Starlover - nope not possible due to problems with previous labour. I know I can't risk it, and consultant would not agree to it.
Bundle - loss of control, being cut open, not being able to do stuff for myself. I just "know" it would be wrong. totally irrational I know but that's how I feel and I just want to burst into tears when I think about it. have not enjoyed this PG ever since found out it was breech, it just feels like it's gone "all wrong"!

perhaps there is some kind of ante-natal counselling you can have? I really thin you need to discuss your fears with the consultant

i was terrifeid of the prospect of having a c/s with my first, in fact it was my worst nightmare, but because of a failed induction i ended up with an emergency c/s. for me the worst part of this was having laboured for 36 hours without getting anywhere and without real contractions, just being incredibly uncomfortable and so unable to sleep, to then have ac/s after all that was upsetting and draining, i felt like crap for ages after.

BUT with ds2 who was breech, and because of my previous section i was told i had to have a section with no option of ecv, i had an elective c/s, which i have to say was fantastic! it was so calm, the staff were chatty, the spinal procedure was easier as i wasn't having any contractions. i'm not sure why but it just felt like a positive experience al round. so much so that now i'm pg with no3, and got my c/s scheduled for 16th march i feel that the consultant and his team have a lot to live up to.

ps. positive mental attiutde, maybe a load of psychobabble but i feel that it helped me. i was positive that all would be fine and it was i was much more able to do things for myself, aware of limitation (read up on what to do after, speak to your midwife/consultant/other mums who have had positive experience of c/s and find out what worked/didn't for them). my hospital also offered c/s classes so that you knew what to expect and you met the team who were going to be delivering you, all this helped it feel much calmer and nicer.

c/s may feel "wrong" but unless you can find an experienced midwife who could help you to deliver a breech baby (these skills are being lost I'm afraid) then a c/s seems the obvious answer...and even if you did opt for a vaginal birth, there are circumstances in which you might end up having an emergency c/s (which could then be under a general anaesthetic, like my 2nd c/s which does feel more out of control). I think you should talk to the midwife/consultant about your fears. They are very real and natural, having an operation is a big deal, but I knew that I wanted my babies to be born safely so found out as much as possible about the c/s (who'd be in theatre, where the scar woudl be, how much i could expect from myself in the first few days, breastfeeding etc) to take some of the mystery and fear out of it. please talk to someone about this.

How many weeks are you now, and do you know all the stuff you can do to encourage the baby to turn?

Would you consider giving birth vaginally if it was still breech?

(if you want to know about either of these, say, and masses of info will appear from several dozen mn-ers!)

I was determined that I was having homebirths with both of mine. dd was footling breech and I had a planned cs (planned the day before when I found out she'd got her feet down). With ds I had placenta praevia and had an emergency cs when I went into labour (with lots of accompanying blood) at 34 weeks.

Not what I wanted. Both were calm and lovely experiences, in slightly bizarre and unexpected ways. It took a long time to come to terms with the first cs; I was very cross about it. In fact, knowing that the second cs saved both mine and ds's lives kind of helped. When I look back now, I mostly remember the joy from both births.

If you decide that the cs is the safest option (and it is your decision, make an informed one!) then - cs's are not that bad. Lots of good things about them. I can do a list if you like!

There are also things you can do to plan a good cs. I'll find the website with a list on...

Ahh darling. Poor u secondtimemum. Haven't had a CS myself so can't really comment but it will be fine. A friend of mine chooses to have her babies by CS! Just think how calm it will all be and that you won't have to go through that horrible labour and have as much morphine afterwards as you can and think of that beautiful beautiful baby you will have afterwards. I would talk to your midwife about your fears. I am sure she will be able to reassure you.

vickyumyum - you are me. You wrote EXACTLY what I was going to, from the failed induction to the emergency C/s to the elective second time round!

Kbear - LOL! i think there are a lot of us out there.

secondtimemum - i really would ring your midwife/hospital and ask to speak to someone about the c/s, i am assuming that this will all be taking place in teh next couple of weeks, so ring them tomorrow. i wouldn't recommend browsing google etc as they seem to favour the horror stories rather than the good side of what can/does happen.
i know that this doesn't help, but i'm sure that you will be fine and once the baby is born, the birth will seem insignificant to finally holding lo.
please please talk to someone who can help at the hospital, a tour of recovery, meeting the team, anything that will help you to ease your mind.

what are you frightened of not being able to do?
I felt far, far more loss of control being in labour than I did during my 2 sections, I promise you. (though tbh I'd rather be raped in a dark alley than go into labour again, as it couldn't possibly be more frightening, humiliating, degrading and would certainly be less painful, but that's another story)
I felt totally in control. it is a little strange having no physical sensation but what matters to me is staying mentally in control, being able to talk normally, feel 'me' and I certainly did that during my sections. I was able to ask proper questions, to see what was happening etc.
As for being cut open, I think you are so likely to be cut or torn during a vaginal birth, I always felt it was better to have a proper incision by a truly qualified medical person than have my flesh ripped apart.
I've never met a midwife that I would trust to trim my hair, but I felt totally safe with the consultants who brought my babies into the world.
You can have a birth plan with a caesarian. Choose music to listen to, have the baby delivered onto your chest, discover the sex for yourself - all sorts of things if you want. Even see your baby being born (I watched in the overhead light!). It's INCREDIBLY quick - your baby is out of you about 5 minutes after the anaesthetic takes effect, very calm, and you can be breastfeeding and have your sensation back within half an hour of the birth.
I thought it might help to get a very different view of caesarians, from someone whose had two and thinks they are the only way to go!

dd2 was breech - tried ecv & didn't work. Had to have a cs as she was a footling breech. Was fine. I was really worried about it but it was the safest way.

secondtimemum - I had a C section 14 weeks ago. For the same reasons as you too, my DD was a breechie and they though large (8lbs 13.5 in the end).
I was petrified. I was advised against a natural birth as I'd not had a previous birth so the risks were higher (better to have a breech in second + pregnancies apparently).
Anyway, I was petrified. Scared that something bad would happen, worried about the recovery and the horror stories that I'd heard. BUT I was fine! Once I was on the operating table, I was calm and relaxed, even more so when DD was out.
I'd said the first four weeks were crappy but after that I was fine. Trouble standing too long / walking around too long but after about 7 weeks I was fine.

Secondtimemum - pretty much the same as Elf! I had a cs for my breech baby 12 weeks ago. The plan was that I was to get prepped for a CS but they would try ECV first and then just do the section if the ECV didn't work. (I know ECV isn't an option for you - turned out that it wasn't for me either as the baby had one leg by his head and the other tucked below)

I had convinced myself so much that the baby was going to be turned and I was going home that I didn't even bring my bag into the hospital from the car!! I really really didn't want to have a section. BUT it was all over very quickly and the next thing was I was in recovery with my gorgeous baby boy. I did feel a bit of a fraud when people were congratulating me - "what for" I thought "I didn't do anything" but now the birth seems such a distant memory and I don't know why I was so reluctant!!

Just remember to bring big pants to the hospital and GOOD LUCK

MB

I had a csection with dd after difficult birth with ds. I too was frightened at the prospect and at how I would cope afterwards. I REALLY LOVED THE EXPERIENCE!!!!!
It was so calm and unexpectedly emotional. Afterwards the first 48 hours you have to accept your limitations-after that as long as you are careful you will be able to do pretty much everything for the baby.
I hope you are able to overcome your fears and just enjoy your baby xx

I had an emergency section after failed induction and fetal distress with DD in 2003, and I chose (and positively insisted on) an elective section for DS last May. The elective was worlds above the emergency. I truly lovely experience. I had a general with DD because the local didn't take effect fast enough and they were in a hurry to get her out. With DS I was really worried about the localbbecause I knew I would be able to feel them tugging around in my belly but wouldn't be able to feel my legs and I thought I just wouldn't be able to handle the loss of control. But really I didn't mind it. You have other things on your mind, like your baby's first breath so I didn't even think about being legless. I also had a fantastic anaethetist who told me what was happening every step of the way. There were two anaesthetists (presumably because it was a teaching hospital) so one was free to update me.

Have a lovely time... AND TAKE ARNICA.

I second the thoughts about the c-section being a calm experience. I was a bit frightened before I had my spinal, but once I was lying on the bed, I felt calm and relaxed. Everybody was very nice and friendly, DH was at my side. I felt totally relaxed and in control (if that makes any sense, as I wasn't really in control, but more so than not being able to cope with contractoins etc).

Mawbroon - how are you? I agree, when people say "well done" I always replied "I didn't do anything! I had a section, no hardship for me!"

I had two emergency c-sections, but my first had no labour (scan showed ds was transverse after my waters broke). I must admit I would have been both scared and miserable if I had known in advance what would happen (I was down for a home birth two weeks later!), but having only 1/2hr notice, I didn't have time to be scared. The experience was slightly bizarre, but in an odd way quite relaxing! Do talk about your fears, see the theatre etc, as I think you will find it reassuring. It is amazing how many people end up with c-sections, planned or unplanned, and the planned sort are definitely better!

I've had an emergency and an elective section. I found with the 1st one, I just went along with the flow. I didn't understand exactly what was happening, I just knew that I wanted DD born safely and soon!

With the elective section, it scared me to begin with as they explained all the complications. I also had to sign the consent form after hearing what could go wrong. But, I knew I didn't was a natural birth.

The section itself was okay, I didn't feel a loss of control. I was home after 2 days and although I was in a large amount of pain, I was able to care for my DS myself.

You definately need to speak to the consultant about your fears. They have probably had the same conversation with loads of other women. Tell them all of your fears so they can advise you properly.

Hi Elf - We are all doing great. Johnny is such a happy wee boy. I'm going to start posting again on the post natal thread because I seem to be getting a bit more time to myself these days!

Secondtimemum - I also meant to say that my experience was such that I may well just have an elective cs if I have another baby. Can't have been so bad if I would do it again!!

MB

tbh, I think there are so many scare stories about caesarians. So much bad publicity and negativity. No wonder people are scared.

I've had 4 CSs, stm. The first was a shock (DD1 was 10 days late and showing signs of distress) and I was disappointed, but I don't regret any of them, and a safe delivery, healthy baby and fast-recovering mother is so much better than the other possible outcomes.

secondtimemum, poor you, i feel the same about cs but its not always that bad,
My cousin had a cs before xmas, i went to see her the next day and she was walking around, lifting baby and looked realy well, i was realy shocked as i was'nt walking as well as that after having a natural birth, she was home in 3 days and doing well.
Is there anyway you can have a natural birth? any chance the baby will turn etc...?
Good luck and remember whatever happens you are going to end up with a beautiful baby, it will be worth it!

Another 'had a c-section and they're nothing to fear' post. Mine was emergency, although suspected it was heading that way towards the end of my pregnancy - IUGR baby, induced early.. failed induction. The worst part of the experience for me was the 3 days of induction not the c-s.

If you fear the cutting - I remember the anaethestist telling me they had already started (i.e they had cut me) and I was completely oblivious. I didn't feel it and wasn't aware of it.

The best advice is to be prepared for it as the people I know who have found it the hardest to deal with afterwards are those who were in shock.

Whilst I hope for a VBAC when/if there's a next time if it comes to a c-s I have no problems with this - it just means dh will have to take more time off work to help out ! And mind you, reading these posts it makes me think maybe I'll go elective instead....