Can't decide if homebirth is right for me, please come help me think.

[PinkPepper]

I can't believe I am so undecided, thought maybe some people might be able to help me think?
I'm nearly 14 weeks and my midwife has said I don't have to decide yet, It's my first pregnancy, and no complications so far. If anything comes up in the pregnancy I will be 100% happy to go to hospital if it's indicated.

I studied midwifery for a year, (stopped course for some personal reasons) and was involved in the delivery of several babies in lovely normal births and whilst I am no way involved with that training now, I do consider myself somewhat educated on matters, and able to do research and things myself.

I am quite confident in my bodies ability to give birth if that makes sense and want to move around, eat, and pretty much be left to get on with it, which I think would be easier at home. I'd like to only use gas and air. I am also ok with the thought that a any birth will not turn out any way the way I plan it, I have settled that with myself if that makes sense.
I live literally 5 minutes drive from the hospital.

My main worries with hospital birth is more that I may be excessively monitored more than at home, and this might restrict my moving and things, and I think I'd feel more comfortable in my home.

My main worries with home birth is I want to breastfeed and hear so many horror stories, and I wonder where I'd get the support if not in hospital.

Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, it doesn't make much sense in my head either.

sounds like you know both sides of it pretty well

I had my first in hosp, and then had 4 more home births - though this does not in any way mean that i had a bad time in hospital, but that i was only 15 the first time around, and as an option it wasn't really discussed.

I have had fab support both in and out of hospital for bf - although do be prepared to ask for it!

If I had another (not likely) I would definitely choose home birth - and i truly believe that unless there are medical complications it is the best way for a baby to be born.

Also the fact that you are so close to the hospital, means there wouldn't be much of a delay if anything did go wrong.

Best of Luck xx

Have a good read of homebirth.org.uk, it is fab, balanced, and evidence based.

I am also a trained HCP, not a MW though. I looked at it all and felt that the risks of hospital birth were worse than the risks of homebirth, for me. Planned homebirths for both mine. Neither were born at home in the end but would make the same decisions TBH.

If BF support is your main concern, I can reassure you that you are likely to not be missing much by not being in hospital! Maybe start going to a BF support group/baby cafe while pregnant so you know the right people for help if you need it, get the name and tel no for the breastfeeding support workers/infant feeding coordinator and numbers for ABM, NCT, La Leche or Breastfeeding Network people in your area.

I was in hospital for DS and had a HB for DD.

The advantage of being in hospital was that they did make sure I we were both confidently feeding before I left. But that was it

Being at home meant I was pottering around, doing what I wanted to so if I wanted a bath, I'd go and have one. I am sure that being mobile during labour really contributed to a quick and easy delivery, compared to a drawn out exhausting labour with DS.

I didn't even need gas and air, I felt I could listen to my body and just get on with it.

If you are worried about breastfeeding there are loads of support groups that you could reach out to, I would have a HB again in a heartbeat - and I had two midwives all to myself

Hello,
Maybe stop thinking about it just now and set a date to think about it later - maybe after your 20 week scan ?

If you like you could find out just how viable home deliveries are in your area - to be honest here it is so dependant on the availability of two midwives that it seldom happens, also might you consdier a midwife lead unit rather than full on hospital as a middle ground?

i had 2 homebirths and would recommend it to anyone.

the difference between my homebirths and the hospital birth I had before is immense.

I can't think of any nicer place to start a breastfeeding relationship than in your own home.,
in my case the midwives in hospital were next to useless with helping me breastfeed, they were too busy, they all gave different advice and none of them could get my baby to latch on.

if breastfeeding help is a worry to you then find out about local breastfeeding groups and breastfeeding counsellors now. go along to groups (they're happy for pregnant women to come along) and get a support network set up before baby even arrives.
I think that you're more likely to get off to a good start if you've had little/no intervention, which is more likely with a homebirth too...

The thing with MW led units though, is you only get the same pain relief options as you would at home, ie no epidural if you wanted one - but without being in your own home?

With your own toilet, your own fridge, kettle, guaranteed pool if you wanted one I don't see how it is better? I was eating pizza during my last labour and listening to my Queen CD while bouncing on my ball in the living room. I was as relaxed as possible anyway.

I am 39wks and planning HB with DC2, although like you I am 5mins from hospital and will be straight there if any complications.

With DS the bf support in hospital postnatal ward was dire. As in non existent, conflicting advice and the ward matron actually trying to bully me into FF. Had some fantastic support from baby cafe, and a healthcare assistant once I had got home (and once my community mw had noticed my sons Tongue tie and arranged for it to be corrected, which they didnt notice in hospital).

But you don't have to decide now, you book for it much much later, and even after that, once you are in labour, you are free to change your mind at any time and go into hospital.

There is no MW unit near me anyway so that isn't an option.
Thank you so much everyone for answering (and so quick!) I think writing this down, and seeing some responses has made me think deep down I do want a homebirth, and there's nothing really stopping me, (and nothing stopping my going into hospital if I decide closer to the time I want/need to). I think I'm going to change my midwife in a couple of weeks when I move (currently in slightly different area) so when I meet the new community midwife I'll have a chat with her, the midwife I've seen so far seems quite positive.

"With your own toilet, your own fridge, kettle, guaranteed pool if you wanted one I don't see how it is better? I was eating pizza during my last labour and listening to my Queen CD while bouncing on my ball in the living room. I was as relaxed as possible anyway." < see this sounds like my ideal :)

but I think there's a lot of advice saying don't get hung up on thinking you'll be able to do/have x y and z then it'll all come crashing down. But surely, I can at least plan to have it one way, but also plan that it may inevitably change. If that makes sense. No one I know has had a homebirth, or breastfed, so I think it makes it quite hard to think of it as a option for them.

DP is supportive of me whatever, I think he is a bit shaky over the idea of home birth because hospital births seem so normal.

I was in hospital for DS and had a HB for DD.

The advantage of being in hospital was that they did make sure I we were both confidently feeding before I left. But that was it

Being at home meant I was pottering around, doing what I wanted to so if I wanted a bath, I'd go and have one. I am sure that being mobile during labour really contributed to a quick and easy delivery, compared to a drawn out exhausting labour with DS.

I didn't even need gas and air, I felt I could listen to my body and just get on with it.

If you are worried about breastfeeding there are loads of support groups that you could reach out to, I would have a HB again in a heartbeat - and I had two midwives all to myself

The thing which will have the biggest impact on your first few days of breastfeeding is how well you and your baby are after the birth. Your chances of coming through labour without needing surgery or instruments is very much greater if you stay at home.

The deciding factor for me was being able to have DH stay with me, not get chucked out after the birth as it wasn't visiting hours.

One thing to consider is that you can plan a home birth, and transfer to hospital at any point if you feel you want to, but you can't go to hospital, labour there for a few hours, then decide you want to go home.

I have purposefully not read the whole thread, just the OP.

From the OP I would say go for a home birth ( I wouldn't always recommend this for first births)

But having had 2 hospital births, and a home birth myself, and heard numerous story's form women telling me about the "support" they had in hospital regarding breast feeding, I would say this is one very good reason to go for a home birth.

I would go for the homebirth, if that is what you want, because you are only 5 mins away. You are in hospital for such a short time I doubt whether it is long enough to get much support for bfeeding anyway.
I have had 3 hospital births with just gas and air and no one has ever examined me until I was at least 8cm dilated, so I wouldn't bother about that either-if you decide on hospital. They went fine and I didn't have birth plans.

Nannyogg this is important to me as well, I was saying to DP that I bet he'll feel really weird leaving me in hospital and going back home alone knowing we're both in there, and he was shocked that there were timed visiting hours. I don't think he'd given it much thought, I understand slightly with it been a ward setting and can't have too many people constantly in when people need to sleep, but I don't think it'd work for us.

Thanks Lynettescavo I havn't heard much good in the way of support either, and there are a few breastfeeding groups around I think

If we lived more than a stones throw away from the hospital I think the danger of complications might worry me more, but it is almost in the same postcode, and like many of you have said, if I change my mind in labour, I can still go in.

Mine have both been born at home and number 3 will also be a homebirth so long as everything continues to go well. Giving birth at home feels completely normal and natural. The thought of having to get into the car while having contractions fills me with dread!

As has already been pointed out, bf support isn't always great in hospital and the best way to ensure you get support is to make sure you have all the details of helplines and support groups by the phone. In hospital they should not let you leave until you are confident latching the baby on. However, often when things are busy this just involves someone ticking a box to say they ahve seen your baby somewhere near your breast. At home you have 2 MWs there with you. After the birth one of them will leave and go take care of your paperwork but the other will stay until you are showered and settled and you have fed. You have one to one attention, she won't have to dash off because the buzzer in another room has gone off, she will not leave until you are happy for her to do so.

I'm another who has had one hospital birth followed by two home births.

The difference, at home you are guaranteed continuous care by the same midwife, my DP felt that he could be both more assertive and more useful, you have your home comforts, I felt that the midwives listened to me more (could just be down to mw personality though), I could properly rest after the birth (postnatal ward too noisy and hot for me to sleep), better food and we could open the fizz to celebrate the births.

I would say, pack a bag with everything you might need at hospital. Tell your midwife you want a home birth. If at any point you think you would like to be in hospital, off you go.

I highly recommed hypno birthing. With DS2 I the hostpital midwife was scathing about hypnotically, and I did have pethadine, but with DC3 I had a pain free home birth.

My midwife said at 20 weeks do you fancy a homebirth? She also said put down you do and you can decide later, up to 36 weeks if I remember rightly. It was the best decision I made and gave me plenty to find out everything I needed to know.
After having dd the two midwives wouldn't leave until they were happy that I was happy with feeding. It takes a bit of practice and over the week they came back for the visits, showed me different positions..lying on my side...lifesaver. I also used the numerous breastfeeding cafes nearby, as well as phoning the NCT helpline.. there is a national breastfeeding line too and I also went to see the NCT breastfeeding counsellor. This was over around 3 weeks so being in hospital wouldnt have made any difference. At Kings they also have a workshop day..so I took as much help as I could.
Good luck I'm sure you will make the right decision.

I agree with emski.

It sounds like your main worry is learning about breastfeeding. There is loads of info on the web including videos, the NCT do breastfeeding courses, and depending where you are there will be some kind of BF network who can help you. The midwives should be able to help you get a latch before they go and make sure all is working.

To be honest, whether it works depends so much on mother's breast and babies' mouth shape. If they have any kind of tongue tie or if you've had any kind of breast surgery/flat nipples etc it can cause issues, but beyond that you should be able to know within the first half hour if it's going to work or not. I've had friends who have BF'd their first two no problems and really struggled with #3 so it really is individual to the child.

If there are ongoing problems, you'll be able to get support and you would have left the hospital after 24hrs anyway.

Good luck!

The key to sucessful breastfeeding prior knowledge. Ie. read loads of good books and go to a La Leche League meeting or two before the birth. I think it helps to see mothers breastfeeding.

Most mothers and babies are physically able to breastfeed. The problem is that many first time mothers have never seen a mother breastfeed a newborn. A lot of women have no clue how to hold the baby in a comfortable position for breastfeeding. Poor positioning can lead to cracked nipples and a hideous breastfeeding experience. Breastfeeding is a learned art.

This book The Food of Love is excellent. I also suggest you find out about biological nuturing or breastcrawl.

Homebirths are wonderful. The risks are different to a hospital birth. You have more attention from a highly experienced midwife. Problems get picked up faster as you don't have to share your midwife. It has to be remembered that it takes several minutes to get a theartre ready for a c section. Most women who transfer to hospital for a homebirth are not in life/death situations. A home birth midwife will carry oxygen and be trained in resusitation.

LynetteS, midwife was scathing? How weird and naughty of her to put down your choices like that!!!

OP, I transferred for EMCS (which is not as dramatic as it sounds, I was in hospital for 6 hours before we went to theatre) and DH left about 2 1/2 hours after we were out of theatre, no one was jostling him out of the door, but he was made aware he would have to go at some point, it was past 1am, and he had a 10 mile drive home. He was so out of sorts leaving us behind that he couldn't sleep, was up all night and ended up not back with me until the following lunchtime after finally getting some kip. Obviously I was in for a few days, and although the visiting hours weren't as restricted as some, he still couldn't spend the time he wanted. Some of the MWs turned a blind eye, but I remember an incident of him stalking around Mission Impossible style to avoid the scary senior midwife when he came to drop some stuff off for me after 9pm.

I am 39 weeks tomorrow and didnt decide to go for homebirth until 32 weeks. I reckon just relax about it for now and then go with what feels right nearer the time.

working9while5, that midwife just happened to be a really horrible person. I won't go into what actually happened in that delivery room. I can only say NEVER AGAIN

Luckily I had the loveliest midwife for my home birth with DD.