I'm booked to have a c-section for breech baby and I'm terrified

[SuchFunSuchFun]

Long story but basically I found out at 38+2 that my baby is breech. They tried ECV but it was not succesful so I'm booked in for a C-section at 39+6 (the earliest they can do it)

I've never had surgery or even been in hospital overnight and I wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs, but I've been told this will be safest for both me and baby. Generally I'm ok about it but at other times I'm almost paralysed with fear and find myself shaking and crying because I'm so scared. I know it's irrational but I can't help it and I'm really worried I'm going to freak out on the day.

I know a breech birth isn't as safe for baby as a section is, but at times I'm considering phoning them and telling them I've changed my mind and want a breech vaginal, but then I think I just can't put my baby at risk like that and I'm back to being terrified.

It doesn't help that I'm also so angry that I won't even get the excitement of going into labour and wondering if this is it. I'm excited about meeting our baby but the magic of the arrival really has been spoilt for me now and I'm spending my last few weeks of maternity leave in fear and misery because I'm so scared, even though I know it's irrational.

I really need to sort myself and and soon because I'm driving myself insane at the moment, I know I haven't really asked any direct questions here but if anyone's got any advice I really need to hear it.

I can't see the screen properly for crying so much right now

You might struggle to get support for a vaginal birth as midwives don't have experience of it. If you do want to consider it, you will probably have to speak to the head of midwifery.

Maybe it would be a good idea to get your midwife to talk you through the options so you can be clear in your mind that CS is the safest option for you and baby.

I know you're still excited about meeting baby and this is still going to happen. However you now have the advantage of knowing when it's going to happen. There's no hanging around fat and fed-up at 42 weeks wondering if the baby is ever going to arrive. There's no worrying about how you'll deal with the pain of labour because trust me, it does hurt. The how doesn't matter because the end result is what's important - a happy healthy baby.

Would it help to focus on the day of the CS and plan how you want that to happen? Maybe plan a playlist of your favourite music to listen to? Work out a rota of which family members are visiting when so they can help with cooking and cleaning while you sit on the sofa cuddling your new baby. Also, because you have that extra time in hospital, you get plenty of opportunity and help to get breastfeeding well established. (assuming this is your chosen feeding option)

This might not be what you planned but you are still giving birth and it's only one small part of being a parent.

Good luck and enjoy your new arrival.

I knwo how you're feeling. I had just the same, tho my babyw as breech throughout my entire pregnancy. It turned out there was a good reason for her breech - I have a heart shaped uterus and she was over to one side of it and the cord was wrapped round her neck three times. The surgeon had to cut it before he could get her out. Soooo... what I'm saying is there may be a reason for your baby being breech adn in that case the CS is the safest thing to do.

Of course you don't have to accept the surgeon's advice; it is possible to birth a breech baby naturally, BUT many widwives have very little experience of this any mroe as breeches are delivered by CS! So it's a bit of a vicious circle.

It is possible to hire a doula who is experiennced in birthing breech babies and for her to come to the hospital with you/labour at home with you and have the baby vaginally but this depends on finding one you feel comfortable and safe with - and also you're almost at your due date! So I know it's a real blow, esp after you have been anticipating a normal labour, but just remember, even if you had had a normal labour it could still end in a CS for whatever reason. And you never know, your baby might turn of her own accord before CS date!

At the end of the day, the most important thing is the safety of you and your baby. To make sure you've explored all the options though, why not ring your hospital and ask what experience they have of delivering breech babies vaginally, explasin your fears, and see what they say. Good luck!

It does depend on the position the breech baby is in.
There are 3 ways it can be (apparently), and the one where its feet are upwards towards its head is supposed to be the safest for vaginal.

here's an article about it

You could always ask them to postpone the c-section and see what happens.
or ask them which position it's in.

I can totally understand how you feel - my baby seems to like to be the wrong way up (god knows where its head is at the moment!), and I'm panicking abotu the thought of having to choose a c-section.
I have been assured that you don't feel pain when you have the section, but it's the aftercare that you have to be careful about - don't strain yourself, don't lift anything heavier than your baby, make your partner do everything for a few weeks.
There's no reason why you shouldn't make a full physical recovery from the op, and of course (as gallicgirl says), it's down, to a large extent, to how much help you have in those first few weeks.

Hey hon, I had a CS for exact same reason as you - you and babs will be fine!!! I am not making light of the CS, it is a big deal and it takes a little longer to recover but most importantly, you and the baby will be safe. best of luck

thanks, i know it's the better option, I guess it doesn't help that although I have spoken to the midwife about it a bit, I haven't actually spoken to anyone at the hospital yet, I'm going later this week to talk through the actual what where and when etc. Maybe I'll feel a bit better after that.

CocktailQueen, we can't afford a doula unfortunately.

GallicGirl, I hadn't thought about the extra help learning to breastfeed and things (yes you assume correctly) so that's a bonus!!

Can you have music on in theatre then? There's so much I don't know, I will have to write a list of questions for them when I go.

I had wanted skin to skin as soon as possible, can this still happen do you think? My friend had an emergancy section and they took her baby away to do the apgar etc and she didn't see it again until she was about to go to recovery. That's something else that bothers me about it, that it's all going to be so impersonal and clinical compared to what i had wanted.

got to pop out now but will be back later. Thanks both.

You don't have to have a section.

Google Jane Evans and Mary Cronk, "Day at the Breech"

Yes, you should be able to have music, or at least my friend did.

You should be able to do skin-to-skin pretty quickly I think assuming baby is ok. If you can't do that, there's no reason why your DH can't do skin-to-skin instead.

Ask the questions anyway. Also ask about how soon you can BF because I can't remember what we were told at NCT class.

yo ucan still make sure that the rest of your birth plac is adhered to.
they can do the apgar in front of you, if you want.

tell them that you want skin-to-skin straight away and they should be able to do it.
also, they need you to contract your womb very wuickly after the operation, so if yo ucan do skin-to-skin and get BFing started, that will help enourmously.
I would advise getting as many stories of experiences of this from people (mabye ask in a separate thread? ), and that will help yo uwork out what you need to ask the meds to do.

Some good advice on here...

I had skin to skin with DS after ELCS, you need to tell them beforehand because they did my gown up diffferently or something

It is bloody weird to have a day marked on the calendar for when your baby will be born though!

I posted on a thread a while back under an old name, let me see if I can find it....ah. Here we are:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/1115205-Booked-for-ELCS-and-really-scared

Lots of advice and experiences on there too, hopefully reassure you a bit?

Just got back in, there's some great advice on here, thank you all. Our LO is frank breech, but the head is "stargazing" which means VB would be more dangerous for him/her as the head is more likely to get stuck and cause neck or spinal injuries, despite my own fears it's not a risk I can possibly take. No offense to others who might, it's personal choice. I just feel forced into it by circumstance. I'm a bit too much of a control freak at times!

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep I've just had a look on that link, thanks, there's also some great advice on there, thank you.

Nicklebabe I'm off to do exactly as you suggested and get some suggestions on my options.

Thanks all, I feel a little better just having got it all off my chest actually, I guess I've been bottling my feelings up too much. As supportive as DH has been, I know he's worried about both of us, so I'm reluctant to get too upset in front of him as he doesn't really know how to help and I know it then upsets him as well.

I don't blame yo ufor takign the CS route if it's star-gazing.
:)

it'll be fine, you know that, of course.
It's always useful to hear opiniosn and experiences from women who have been through it - it migth help you feel less scared.
I'm glad you're going to ask :)

Thanks nickelbabe, i do know it will be fine, it's just my selfish fears, and remembering what happened to my friend.

I know that the most important thing is for our baby to arrive in this world safely, and if c-section is the only way that can happen then so be it. It just doesn't stop the fear!! It's shocking though how I can be okay one minute and suddenly i'll be thinking about it and get all scared and shaky again.

I liked one of the comments in the linked thread though, (paraphrased) that we are lucky that we live in the day and age where not only have they found out there is a potential problem before it actually becomes a problem, but that we also have doctors with the skills and knowledge to deal with it so that it is unlikely either me or the baby will have any long term ill effects, i think that is what I need to focus on, that and that I will finially get to meet our baby, however it arrives.

SuchFun - you WILL be fine - it might not be the birth you want but it will fade in importance once you have your baby.

I had four CS -not the births I wanted but couldnt be helped. The spinals were far far better than a general anaesthetic and the baby is out really quickly and you spend most of the time in the theatre with your baby. It flies.

And it was all good humoured in the theatre with music and happy staff - one nurse leant over the "curtain" and patted my hand and said "Beautiful needlework!" as the surgeon sewed me up! And it was

Have just posted on your other thread. When I found out with DD1 that she was breech and was recommended a section I was really upset and sobbed and sobbed. I did look into vaginal breech birth and weighed up all the risks but decided it wasn't for me so I reluctantly had a CS. It was fine. Yes, there were things I feel I missed out on, and I felt very annoyed by a couple of people afterwards saying that I had the 'easy option'. No method of giving birth is easy, however you do it. I think it's really normal to be upset about a planned section (or, equally, normal to desperately want a CS - everyone's different). One thing that I found helped was realising that I could start dealing in my head with having a CS before it actually happened, whereas my friends who ended up with EMCS had to deal with it after the event which I think was much harder for them.

Also, I know this is a bit flippant but DD1 came out looking absolutely beautiful and perfect with a lovely round head. DD2, a VBAC with 2.5 hours of pushing, came out with a cone head, and a very puffy and squashed-looking face. I spent the first day of her life telling everyone how ugly she was compared to DD1 .

Both of mine were emergency c sections.
The 2nd one was very much like an elective and it was magical. The screen was lowered and the surgeon held the baby out to us so we could discover the sex ourselves (we hadn't found out at the scan).
My DP held DS while I was stitched up (took about 15/20 mins) and then I held DS in recovery where he fed immediately.
You can still have a beautiful birth with a c section,particularly as it's an elective and not an emergency.

You will be fine . It is a bit odd to know the exact when and how things will happen , and it is a sad feeling when you have spent nearly nine months reading about birth stories and how the early labour feels , I know I was really down about never having that 2 in the morning waters breaking drama but .......

This is a planned birthday for your gorgeous baby , you will be prepared for exactly what is going to happen to you and honestly for me the recovery was easy . I was driving within a couple of weeks and managed to feed within a couple of hours . I also held my baby pretty much instantly . I refused to hand him back and so he just stayed on my chest while they wheeled me back to bed .

A planned CS is much better than an emergency one which you would probably end up with in your situation .

I do understand the dissapointment but for me once the baby was in my arms I couldn't have cared how he got here , just that he was here and safe with me .

Good luck and don't be afraid to ask however many questions that you have , no matter how daft they sound in your head .

Sorry you are feeling scared. My DS was transverse - gyny joked "he's not coming out like that" then my waters broke at 34 weeks so it was an emergence CS on a Saturday, didn't even have a bag packed, was shouting at my DH from the toilet - very undignified.

I live overseas and I'll be honest I think in the UK, all the info you receive is so focussed on having vaginal birth that those who end up having a CS feel they have failed in some way - this is a real shame. Where I live CS is the norm, over 50% of births are CS and the majority of these are elective. I don't think this is a good thing, but it just shows with a different perspective that CS can be considered in a positive light.

I found the CS itself no bother, had to sit still while they did the spinal, when on operating theatre I had a feeling of being tugged around which was not very pleasant and TBH is was very weird seeing them move my legs around and not be able to feel them. DS was rushed off to ICU so only saw him quickly.

The main difference I think was CS is you have no pain with the birth, the pain comes later when the spinal wears off. Ask for lots of painkillers, and try and keep on top of the pain, i.e. take the painkillers regularly, don't wait for the pain to start up as it's hard to get on top of it again. By day 2 /3 I was feeling OK, up and about, although walking slowly - ask for lots of help and take it easy. I was driving 2 weeks later and back in the gym after 4 weeks.

I completely agree that a planned CS is far better than an emergency one, which is what you may well end up with if you attempted a VB ( I know you're not considering that though)

My twins were born by emergency section. I had a general anaesthetic and DH wasn't allowed in, so neither of us saw our babies being born. A planned section with an epidural and DH there would have been so much nicer.

But in the grand scheme of things it all seems so unimportant now - my gorgeous babies are tucked up in bed safe and sound as we speak and that's all that matters

I was in the same situation with DS. I was so upset, had been booked in for homebirth , so it was a massive change. I was lucky that my DH was able to be with me all the time, but the theatre staff were so friendly too and introduced themselves and explained exactly what was going on. We hadn't found out sex before hand and the baby was held up for us to discover ourselves. DH held DS to start with as I didn't feel ready, but put him near me and we had photos taken (slightly surreal). Has skin to skin in recovery (gown on backwards, so like dressing gown) and they left us in peace for ages which was great. Was in for 3 nights with DS and self discharged after 24hours with DD (also ECS).

Definitely helps to think about it in advance. 2 of the bits that I found hard were doing the consent to have the op (thought I have no choice, I don't need to hear about all the risks involved again) and the wait on the day. There were a couple of emergencies so I ended up being 4th on the list with DS and went to theatre at about 4. It seemed like an awfully long time without food. With dd was 2nd on list and went down at about 11 I think.

It was nice having a date booked though!

I had an emergency c section and a elective c section. Both were fab, had skin to skin etc. took a while to heal but am fine now.

It seems sad that you might have had a beautiful vaginal birth, no tearing, no issues and having a c section means you miss out on that. But look up 3rd degree tears and read about the awful damage with rubbish aftercare that can happen........a c section is 1000 times better than that.

So don't obsess about the beautiful birth you have been denied, but think about the awful experience you might have avoided.

Good luck!!

I had an emergency c section 7 weeks ago due to a placental abruption at 5cm dilated, 11 days overdue. Neither DH or I saw DD being born as she was in major distress, and that was after a completely uneventful normal pregnancy.
I didn't get skin-to-skin until 3 hours after as she had to go to SCBU for a couple of hours, and I was quite poorly with blood loss from the abruption and we had no issues getting her feeding. The extra time in hospital with the support of the mw's to get her feeding was fantastic - I wouldn't have managed bf without this and the 3 days in hospital.
I was up and about within 12 hours of the section - off the drips, carrying DD around, in the shower. It's not that bad if you take it steady, and I agree with the comment above about 3rd degree tears etc. At least I'm "intact". 2 weeks after the section I was walking at least a mile a day with the pushchair (at a snail's pace, but out and about!!)
I don't feel like I failed in the slightest in not having a vaginal birth. Believe me, the 6 hours I spent in labour were horrible. DD and I are ok now and im GLAD i had a c-section. An ELCS is the best thing for both of you, just enjoy it being calm, and not painful, and not being overdue.
The last few weeks of pregnancy are rubbish - all you've got is to focus on the birth. Don't forget that after that you'll have your LO - it doesn't matter how they come out in my opinion, they're so time-consuming and funny and great when they're here that the method of getting them out for most women is soon forgotten, or at least becomes less important than the actual child.
Good luck love. It will be ok.

I can share my experience. I desperately wanted to labour and have a vaginal delivery. So when my baby was breech and and ECV failed I was disappointed to have a section.

But on the day, it was lovely. I'd done all my personal grooming, had a good night's sleep and turned up at hospital at 8.45am. We took photos and got ready, and before we knew it our baby was there. No probs with adminstering the anaesthetic, although I did have low blood pressure and nausea afterwards, so wasn't allowed to sit up for a couple of hours. DS wasn't taken away - given to me within a few seconds to cuddle. BF was fine (even lying down), and scar healed well. After 24 hours I was only on paracetamol and was able to get out of bed, pick up the baby, feed, change a nappy, etc. I was moving pretty slowly and carefully but it was the weekend and there weren't many staff around so I managed. I came home after 3 days, and I got the all-clear to drive after 3 weeks.

I realise this all sounds a bit smug and that I was lucky to heal so well, but I wanted to share that CS can be really nice experience. I wasn't lucky enough to have any more babies, and there's always a bit of sadness that I didn't go through labour, but it was a much better experience than I could have hoped for.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Hi there,

DD is 4 now, i had an unexpected but not really an emergency c section. I was more scared about staying in hospital on my own than anything else. i took music, audio books.... and never used them as very busy chatting with visitors, cleaners, cooks,nurses and my new baby! Did enjoy having the TV on - brought a bit of normality to it all!! My section was fine but I bled and didn;t heal great. But I got through it all and had some lovely expereinces of holding little one for the first time, bathing, breastfeeding help and met some lovely people. I guess I;m saying that what ever the next few eeks brings you will travel through it and have your baby for ever when you leave the hospital.

Its a cliche but its true that when you hold your baby he'she will make everything fine.

just take stuff in to make you feel at home and don;t be afraid to draw the curtains, get top naked and snuggle up. Also, please rememeber that as great as 'natural' birth is C sections were invented for a reason and you and your baby will be healthy and happybecause of the section not despite it.

Lots of love and luck!