I'm booked to have a c-section for breech baby and I'm terrified

[SuchFunSuchFun]

Long story but basically I found out at 38+2 that my baby is breech. They tried ECV but it was not succesful so I'm booked in for a C-section at 39+6 (the earliest they can do it)

I've never had surgery or even been in hospital overnight and I wanted to avoid a c-section at all costs, but I've been told this will be safest for both me and baby. Generally I'm ok about it but at other times I'm almost paralysed with fear and find myself shaking and crying because I'm so scared. I know it's irrational but I can't help it and I'm really worried I'm going to freak out on the day.

I know a breech birth isn't as safe for baby as a section is, but at times I'm considering phoning them and telling them I've changed my mind and want a breech vaginal, but then I think I just can't put my baby at risk like that and I'm back to being terrified.

It doesn't help that I'm also so angry that I won't even get the excitement of going into labour and wondering if this is it. I'm excited about meeting our baby but the magic of the arrival really has been spoilt for me now and I'm spending my last few weeks of maternity leave in fear and misery because I'm so scared, even though I know it's irrational.

I really need to sort myself and and soon because I'm driving myself insane at the moment, I know I haven't really asked any direct questions here but if anyone's got any advice I really need to hear it.

I can't see the screen properly for crying so much right now

Also, you are aloowed tinternet/phones in most places now so you could mumsnet for company!!!

I had c-section for breech with DS1. It takes time to get your head around the change, but a planned section can still be special.

I played 'the first cut is the deepest' for my section and just this week was playing the album. DS1 who is now 7 said proudly: I was born to this song.

Also have had 3 children and for various reasons haven't had skin to skin contact with them when they were born. It made no difference to our bond. DS1 (again) was given to DH first and I'll never forget that he stopped crying the instant DH touched him.

Just ask lots of questions about what's going to happen and try to go with the flow. Good luck!

SuchFun, I could have written your post 7 months ago - was in the same situation except that I knew for several weeks that dd was breech (so wasted the whole of the end of pregnancy stressing and trying all sorts of stupid things to tun her). You're not alone in being scared, I didn't sleep for nights before and arrived at the hospital in floods of tears on the day, terrified. The wait was definitely the worst bit - once it was actually happening I could deal with it and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I imagined - the spinal anaesthetic is really amazing, you literally can hardly feel anything of the op. Once dd was born (healthy, apgar of 9 and yelling furiously as soon as she was lifted out - to my relief, I'd read all sorts about babies having breathing problems, mucus etc and again terrified myself!) my focus was 100% on her and everything else ceased to matter. I can remember looking at her sleeping, tiny and perfect, back on the ward and wondered how on earth I could have considered putting her at risk to have a 'normal' delivery (which my logical brain knows would most likely have been traumatic even if it didn't end in emcs). I read something back then that really helped me - the viewpoint that by choosing cs as the safest way to bring your baby into the world you are brave and a good mother for putting your baby first - it's not an 'easy option' at all, it is scary and the longer recovery is a pain. Sounds weird but I sort of felt the pain afterwards 'made up for' missing the pain of labour. Dd is nearly 7 months old and so precious, and now I look at my scar with a kind of pride. If I had to have another cs in the future I wouldn't be anywhere near as scared - and yes I'd do it again, though if I have another I'll hope for a vbac. Oh and dd although wonderful is rather stubborn and contrary... we joke now that our 'upside down baby' was a sign of the personality to come!

Thank you all so much for your advice and stories. Just reading these helped me put things in perspective and I feel a lot better about it today, I could almost (but only just!) say I feel positive about it now.

I'm starting to appreciate that it really doesn't matter how they arrive and it won't matter after a short while anyway. That's what I shall keep reminding myself anyway!!

Knowing other people felt the same way as well really helps though, I had felt like i was overreacting and that I was being stupid (no-one had said that it was just me), but actually I think it's natural to be scared and upset when your plans are thrown up in the air like that, and as Zimbah said, at least I've got the chance to get my head around it now rather than after an emergency which must be more difficult.

I think you are lucky as hell to be having a c-section and not having to pay for it! A PLANNED c-section is a very straightforward operation and the recovery is usually swift and easy.

The spinal block is pretty much painless, the process completey stress-free and as long as you keep track of when your next morphine shot is due and remind the nursing staff you will feel little to no pain. I had ZERO actual pain with mine - just minor discomfort when coughing or sneezing for a few days afterwards. I had no trouble with carrying the baby, I went out to lunch with friends the day after getting out of hospital and my scar is practically invisible.

You will have no tearing to worry about, no incontinence, no stretched out vag, no problems with sex after the birth (we resumed our love life 4 weeks after the baby was born with no issues at all). This is by far the easiest option.

Elective is very diferent from emergency and the recovery time much easier. Really, don't be worried. You've won the jackpot!

OP - google the natural ceasarian - unless you ask for something different they will stick to their protocols.

ionysis when you put it like that I guess I am lucky

Just to say i had a planned CS and was also terrified but it was the best experience of my life! Was able to have skin to skin in theatre, BF was fine after a little practice, and i recovered really well. Same as prudence really - just to let you know cs can be a nice experience.

I've had the pre-op and I do feel a lot better now, having heard some great stories on here and kind advice, and being told by the hospital exactly what will happen and what to expect has really helped.

Thanks to everyone.

My ELCS was terribly civilised compared to my EMCS. The theatre staff were so sweet and talked me through the prep and everything .

I was quite happy to let them chat while they did the op, we left the music in the car. Even though a CS is a different kind of birth you need to bear in mind that most of the people in theatre will have their own kids, have done hundreds of ops between them and will be caring and professional towards you, your DC and your DH. It might be a clinical experience (thank goodness for hygiene, clever machines and trained surgeons!), but it's still the birth of a child for everyone involved and lots of aaawwwing and "what colour eyes does he/she have?" once the baby was out.

Have a lovely birth suchfun :)

this thread has just made me cry..

17 months ago i was in exactly the same situation with DD, who was footling breech. a CS was the last thing i wanted and i wasted the week of my pregnancy being angry, scared and im ashamed to say even resentful of my baby that i couldnt have the home birth i wanted.

on the day, my CMW attended theatre with me to literally hold my hand, the staff couldnt have been kinder or more patient with me, and although she was delivered by section, the things that were important to me - passed to me, not DH, skin-to-skin were taken into account and given. i had skin to skin as soon as apgar was done which was done in front of DH and myself, and i was feeding within 20 mins. i was wheeled back to the ward with DD firmly attached to the breast (and shes not been off it since but thats a different story!). i missed both of the above with my son - i delivered him naturally, but it left me with a 3rd deg tear which meant that i missed the first 2.5 hours of his life in theatre being stitched back up . maybe that why he's always been a daddys boy!

so, its ok to feel sad that the birth you wanted wont be yours. but thats not to say it wont be equally as fab. and its a cliche i know but as soon as you have your baby you really will not care how they got here!

good luck and enjoy your baby's birth day!!!