Cardamom,
I'm just going to write down everything I am thinking. I have not read back through your previous threads so sorry if I have misconstrued anything.
First, I'm so sorry that you were treated in such an insensitive manner - I would be in pieces if I was you. It is a horrible dilemma to face, made much harder by attitudes like that. You have been so incredibly strong in the face of all of this and I'm sure that you will reach the right decisions for you.
Secondly, re. whether you have surgery now or TTC first, before you saw Prof C you knew how old you were and so that shouldn't be a new consideration in deciding whether to TTC or have surgery now. So, really she hasn't helped you with answering this question. I suspect that after she bowled the "you might need a hysterectomy" into the conversation it was difficult to think about anything else. Do you have an email address or phone number for her? Would you feel comfortable to go back to her with a list of your unanswered questions?
I have been advised to have TVT but to wait until after my family is complete because pregnancy would "undo" it. My current OB (I am 11 weeks pregnant with DC2) when I filled him in on the whole thing said something along the lines of "of course you won't have the surgery until you are finished having children". I think that the official line is probably that TVT anyway is best left until after childbearing. So, I'm a little surprised at your gynae's advice in this respect. However, it could be that it is just best practice to leave it until after children. I think that you need to pin them down on this.
Thirdly, did Prof C express a preference for Burch or TVT for you?
Fourthly, I hope that she was just being overcautious and oververbalising when she talked about hysterectomy. I guess that all you can do at the moment is ask your own gynae about it
.
Fifthly, in terms of paying for help when you are recovering, do you have private health insurance to cover the surgery that you do have? If not, just wondering if it would be possible for your gynae to admit you as an nhs patient and do the operation? This was something which my gynae who I saw privately offered to do re having a c section for next delivery. This way you would have more money for the childcare after the surgery. Please don't compromise on making sure you have enough help and giving the surgery the best chance of working for you.
Lots of un-mumsnetty hugs.