boden83, I had/have severe fear of childbirth - called tokophobia - and last year had an elective CS on the NHS for my 1st DC. It was a wonderful experience and for me, the best birth option.
I talked to my MW, who referred me to the consultant MW - who referred me to the perinatal mental health team. I had an appt with a psychiatrist, talked about my fears, some of the reasons for them, and potential consequences, and they recommended I have a C section.
It's very hard to say where these fears come from and how they develop [two different people can have similar experiences, but come out of them in entirely different ways!] - I do have a history of sexual abuse and depression, and that certainly seems to be related.
You say you have seen doctors and counsellors about this? And they said there was not much they could do? That seems like a bit of an odd response to me - were you seeing them to try and get treatment for your phobia? I ask only because if you've already had psychiatric input, and they've decided you have a severe phobia which is unlikely to respond to counselling or therapy, than frankly that's a reason for recommending you have a CS.
You might just have had the bad luck to be seen by HCP's who have no experience or knowledge of tokophobia. This shouldn't be the case if you deal with a perinatal psychiatric team, so you may need to be ask to be seen by them. (they deal with women who have 'secondary' tokophobia, after a traumatic birth, or less commonly, women with primary tokophobia - no children but a severe fear of birth).
What's problematic is that they tend not to see anyone unless they are already pregnant, or as part of a debrief after a difficult birth...
I will post a link to a thread I posted on last year about this, in case it's useful. I would recommend trying to work out if you would like a vaginal birth, if it followed a certain path (no VEs, a doula or known birth partner etc. although it's worth remembering there will ALWAYS be an element of birth you can't control), but have a great deal of anxiety to overcome about it - OR if the prospect of any kind of vaginal birth feels you with horror/terror/dread.
There is a big difference.
You also say you don't know how to get the NHS to help you, with all the cutbacks. Well - CS's for tokophobia should be granted because they are on balance the best birth option for that individual. The mental and emotional risks of a VB, esp with complications were deemed to be very high for me (PTSD, PND, dissociation, flashbacks, psychosis, alienation - none of them very helpful for early motherhood and bonding). From a previous smear test encounter, which was AWFUL, and involved a reaction from me that took everyone by surprise, including me, I couldn't really guarantee not just that I would let anyone near me for examination/treatment purposes, but that I wouldn't try and attack them. That sounds awful, but when you're dealing with trauma and phobia, we don't behave rationally and aren't in control of ourselves. As cotedazur says - you have a phobia and that is a perfectly valid reason for a C section.
I'll try and post that link to the thread below.