Public or Private Hospital? What did you choose?

[LondonT]

Hi Mums, I need your help please. My husband and I are deciding between registering with Private Care for childbirth, or using the NHS facilities. My husband thinks £10K is an insane amount of money to pay for "normal" childbirth (we have private medical insurance, but it doesn't cover "normal" pregnancy). His rationale is that if there are any complications, then our private medical insurance would kick in. I, on the otherhand, think of course one would go the Private route if one could afford it. I want to have one Consultant care for me throughout my pregnancy. This is my first pregnancy, and the benefit and trust gained through regular and stable care from one medical professional is something I really want.

But, please tell me Mums, am I being unreasonable here? Is my husband right? Is Public care just as good as Private?

Why would your DH insist on 'painfree'? Does he think that life will be without pain? Does he think that childbirth should be without pain? He sounds a bit of a control freak to me...

It definitely isn't about fluffy towels. Its continuity of care and joined up thinking hopefully. It's about reducing the risk of shit happening. Its about a difference of 80% unassisted VBs versus 38% in the local NHS hospitals. When something crappy has happened due to weaknesses in the NHS system and you have the money, it's not selfish, it's a real individual choice.

OK perhaps fair point about the portland (but I don't think the OP was as specific as to say she wanted the portland) but if baby admitted to NICU there it's going to be way way more than the 10k she's budgeted. Out here in the provinces things are not as well set up privately largely because there is no need because the NHS is superb

Tiggers, there's at least one paed on duty all the time. It's a shame that the person you spoke to today didn't see them. My boy did, at 2am, when he suddenly developed breathing problems.

The post birth care for babies at the Portland is NHS I think so you don't need to budget for it. Same at Watford, SCBU/NICU use would also be NHS. The mother is seen privately for delivering her baby. The baby care is back to the NHS. I don't know of any private intensive care settings for babies (or adults). To be honest in my experience ICU etc is fabulous in the NHS if there are enough beds.

Anyone with great NHS/maternity services near them is very lucky. It isn't the case around here!!!

Startail, should I buy branded goods or my local supermarket's own brand? You seem to be very adept at how my family's money should be spent, perhaps you can help.

Katiebeau, sorry to correct you but the entire care at Portland is private. Transfers to NHS are very rare and you're billed for everything.

It is a shame particularly as her baby did not breathe for 4 minutes.

Bloody hell Nanno, your post is really weird. Why would a partner be a contro lfreak for not wanting to see his DP in pain??????

ajmama, I thought the same thing but was scared to say it

I'm a control freak! I made my DH have root canal surgery without any more pain relief than a paracetamol! Are you calling me weird?

Calm, controlled, supported - yup - all of which can be experienced on the NHS.

But, "painfree" - I'd like to have a painFREE birth - um - does anyone realistically expect zero pain in giving birth??

Nonno, I think pain free was used a bit carelessly. There is certainly no such thing as a pain free birth. If there was, I'd have four kids by now. I can barely scrape the courage to have one However, calm, controlled, supported is unfortunately not always possible on the NHS. I'm sure it can be,and has been for many women, but for many other women, the experience is anything but calm and controlled due to the overcrowding and shortage of staff(as we earlier discussed). It rather depends on luck.
It is not really criticism when some of us say private healthcare is worth it if you have the cash, it is just advice based on very real experiences.

Both my ELCSs were pain free. Getting a canula in was uncomfortable - ok that hurt - but that was it. Rest of the time I was gently drifting in a beautiful sea of opiates.

BagofHolly, music to my tokophobic ears. Say more things like that
Oh and whats a canula? Seriously, do go on.

The canula is just the line into the back of your hand, to administer drugs etc. Stings for about 10 seconds and then nothing. I had a spinal block first time, and had a local anaesthetic injected beforehand, which was cold, and felt like a sharp scratch. Didnt feel the spinal at all, or anything else after that. It was a lovely, calm, beautiful experience, with my husband whispering lovely things to me. Then he gasped and said "he's coming out!" and there he was, all pink and gorgeous!
Second time I had an epidural (apparently this is preferable to a spinal cos they can keep you topped up more easily) and that was more of a gaff as it took 3 goes to site it but I was more nervous than anything, and once it was in, nothing. I was aware, both times of quite a but of tugging about but absolutely no pain.
What DID hurt first time was day 4, my staples were really sore and I think I have a nickel allergy but it was fine once they were out. Second time was easier as he used stitches not staples.
I had access to enough class As to stun a pig and took full advantage. Morphine is delightful!

Oh I know what the canula thing is! I had it when I was in hospital a few years back. Ouch. I had blocked that out.
Thanks for sharing your experience though:) I'm getting a c section too if I get pregnant. I hope I don't get shot for saying that.

Your womb, your way! Best of luck!

Absolutely:) Thank you!

Nanno, I had a totally pain free birth at the Portland and through this I bonded straightaway and successfully breastfed from the word go. Everyone I know who had a baby on your precious NHS did not achieve this. Lots of them are still traumatised by their experiences 6 years on! Is that calm and supported??????
Dancingwind, Im so sorry that you are tokophobic. If you really want another baby and you can then why not have a chat with one of the lovely consultants at the Portland? xx

No worries BagofHolly, I have no problem been corrected.

DancingWind I cannot understand why anyone would be critical of you wanting things done so you are happy (especially as you are considering paying for it!!).

I struggle more with the number of people more than happy to take 2 midwives full time with them for homebirths without giving a damn that if we all did that the NHS midwifery services would collapse. I fully support homebirths but honestly, what if everyone wanted one? The service couldn't possibly cope.

God, you're all very helpful when in all honesty the OP sounds as if A researcher from the Wright Stuff is doing their homework. Interesting replies though .

You can have a pain free birth if you want, if you are induced and have your epidural sited before they start. Just saying. :)

ajmama, actually I'm so scared that I don't even have one baby. But I have some money saved up over the years so its probably Portland when the time comes. Now all I have to do is get married to a nice man.