Oh God Melody
. I was in pieces when I had all my injuries and was facing surgery so I can't imagine what you must be going through
and
.
I don't know what to say that's of any help. I think you have to find out what it is that they are intending to do and whether there are any other options before your pre-op assessment so you can think things through, what the relative risks and benefits of the procedures are and make your decision. After everything you have been through, you need to feel that you are making the right decision and the uncertainty at the moment must be killing you.
I think that PALS can and should be more helpful. It's fine to say you can ask as many questions as you like at pre-op, but it's a bit late to then decide that you need to do your own reading and research round the area. Can you go back to them and explain that you did not have sufficient time or emotional strength to discuss what will be happening and that you do not feel that, even with a pre-op discussion, you are in the position to give informed consent to this surgical procedure? Can you go to the hospital and physically sit in their office? Cry if you need to? Refuse to leave if you need to?
Which hospital is this at? I think Michelle was at St Georges? Even though you had this done privately, if your repair is at St George's then I think they owe you an 'extra' duty of care to make sure you have all the time and information you need to make the correct decision. Maybe stress this point? In any case, even if it's not at St George's (and it's only my hazy recollection that Michelle was there), can you stress to PALS that this surgery is because of poor practice by a surgeon who is currently suspended by the GMC and is under investigation?
If you were my friend in RL, I'd say get pay for a private consultation with Vik. tell him what's gone wrong. Tell him that you only went to Michelle because your surgery was cancelled at Mary's and you couldn't cope any longer. Tell him that you were referred to him but never saw him. See what he says. And see what he recommends.
I know seeing another doctor may be more than you can stand right now. And going 'back' to him may be distressing. But Vik really does care and may be able to help. He and his team do mesh removals and sort out surgical procedures performed by other teams that has gone wrong. If you want his secretary's details, PM me.
I feel so bad for you.
XX