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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Visitors after ELCS

50 replies

scaryfairy28 · 07/05/2011 16:42

have section booked and have been given a time to be there of 10am meaning we are third of the day. My mother isca nurse and thinks this and the fact I've been told to fast from the night before means I'll get take about 12. She has decided this means I'll be back on the ward and ready for visitors in time for afternoon visiting at 3 I've told her to wait till evening but she says no! What's the chances of visitors being allowed in at 3? Also what's the chances of ward staff subtly sayIng no to her if we say we're not ready? I'd rather she waited till evening visiting or even the next day but of course she's a nurse and knows best!!

OP posts:

LIZS · 07/05/2011 18:52

If there is an emergency section needed or complications on an earlier one you will get moved back. I'd say you will want the afternoon to recover even if it goes as you describe and you will need to eat at some point. You are likely to have a catheter and possibly drains in so may not feel your best. Some hospitals will only let partners in immediately afterwards anyway. I'm sure she is excited but do try to insist she waits until you are ready.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 07/05/2011 19:11

I'm hoping when I go in for the pre op stuff they'll say definately no way till evening visiting at least.

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HappyAsASandboy · 07/05/2011 19:32

I was going to say put them off until the next day! I had my section at 9.30, and went from recovery to ward at 3pm. My DH let all parents etc know the good news ASAP as he'd been asked to do.

At about 4.30, having settled me and our babies on the ward, DH left the ward to phone my parents (the only local ones) and ask them to wait until the morning cos I was knackered, emotional and just wanted me, DH and our babies to have some time. He met my parents ^in the corridor and they all came back in.

My parents only stayed 20 mins or so, then left cos they said they wanted to give us time alone. But to be honest, by just turning up, they'd been really intrusive, and had caught me just as I'd made the decision not to see them. It made me feel very disorientated (not hard post-section and new mum and breastfeeding) and I really wish they'd waited for DH's call to invite them (or not).

I think you should tell your mum that you'll have no idea how you'll be feeling, and that you'd really appreciate it if she'd just wait for your DH to ring her whenever you feel ready for visitors.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 07/05/2011 19:36

Thanks I'll have a think about it there an hour away so plan to be waiting for 3pm visiting just in case they can come in! Think I'll definately say no way till evening hoping the hospital will say that's the case anyway, then I can blame hospital policy!

OP posts:

VeryHungryKatypillar · 07/05/2011 19:42

My section was at around 12pm/1pm ish, took an hour all in (although v quick to deliver DD), and then we were in the delivery room until at least 5pm. Just together, first feed, getting to know DD etc. I'd be really surprised if you were on the ward by 3pm anyway...

Your mum is a nurse and also your mum - so of course she knows best now.. but once you are a mum YOU will know best! That's what I told my mum anyway!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 07/05/2011 19:44

I felt that I could have any visitor having a pee bag and being half naked. I knew the drill had an elcs after an EmCS (not even my mum! not a problem there she lives far away) but some friends (1) didn't get the message, very uncomfortable!!!

Unless you are particularly open minded and can be seen with only a light shit covering you and the tubings, delay the visits until you can get up.
It is also frustrating when people just walk and hold/grab your baby and you can't do anything about it...

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 07/05/2011 19:45

I could NOT have any visitor

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 07/05/2011 19:46

ooops sheet I should proof read

catsareevil · 07/05/2011 19:47

I think that you would be unlikely to be ready for visitors by 3 with a 12pm section.

My last section was done at 9am, and even then I think that it was about 3 before I was on the postnatal ward.

4pudding · 07/05/2011 19:56

I wouldn't want anyone until the next day! You are just lying there afterwards, doped up on drugs with a catheter bag and midwives having to change your sanitary pad for you. Plus (possibly more importantly) I wouldn't want anyone just picking up my baby that soon! 9 months is a long time to be carrying someone, it takes a while to get used to others holding them.

At least the next day you are a bit more with-it and can ask for the baby back!

littlemisslozza · 07/05/2011 19:59

I had my ELCS at 11am and was back on the ward by 2pm.
My mum brought DS1 to meet his baby brother at about 3.30pm as we had discussed (DH rang to tell her we were back on the ward) and it was lovely, she is also a nurse and did considerate things like making sure my catheter was under a sheet so evening visitors wouldn't see. SHe made sure I was comfortable and in a pretty nightie, covered up well with sheets on the lower half.
In the evening DH had taken DS1 home and the grandparents all visited. It was really nice but I am lucky that I get on well with them all and they are considerate people (I know some people have tricky relationships within their families). Maybe I am unusual in this but I enjoyed having visitors in hospital. however it was my second baby so breastfeeding was second nature compared to the first time so was able to do that if necessary quite discreetly, I remember that being tricky first time round especially with visitors.

We had arranged for them to come in advance but with the proviso that DH would ring to confirm just in case I was feeling poorly or something was wrong. As it turns out I felt absolutely fine, I didn't have pain at any point afterwards, and was dying to introduce my new baby son to his grandparents.

That's just my experience, asking her to wait until evening seems perfectly reasonable to me, tell the midwives on the post natal ward that you don't want any visitors until then if she seems to be ignoring you.

Chynah · 07/05/2011 21:09

My second ELCS was 0930 and I had in laws visit at 2.30 which was fine with me as they brought DS with them and we get on really well, and being my second section I knew what to expect. Would not have wanted anyone earlier than that though.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 08/05/2011 08:28

Thanks ladies, been lying awake since 6 thinking about this, I'm going to be harsh and say no visitors till evening its really stressing me out and I'm stressed enough about this as it is without stressing about them visiting.

OP posts:

jenga079 · 08/05/2011 12:14

'no visitors till evening' is not harsh! In fact, I think you're still being too generous. Can you really not say 'no visitors till we call & invite you?'

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 08/05/2011 12:36

I'm thinking I'll try and persuade her to stay at home (an hour away) until we're ready. Can phone her at 6 and say we're ready for evening visiting or not. At the moment her and my step dad are planning on coming up and just hanging about from afternoon visiting (just in case) till evening (when of course we'll be ready)!! I know she's excited but we're not even that close.

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Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 08/05/2011 12:38

OP posts:

jellybeans · 08/05/2011 12:40

My section was just before lunch and I had visitors at 4pm. Only parents and siblings though. Freinds came in the days after.

ChristinedePizan · 08/05/2011 12:42

I was at the hospital at 8am and didn't have my ELCS until 5pm so make sure you take loads of things with you to do - it's a bit dull. And food for when you can eat again.

I had members of my family hanging around waiting which was slightly annoying but they all buggered off after the baby was born.

hazeyjane · 08/05/2011 12:44

There is no way i could have coped with visitors for at least a day after my section (apart from dh, of course)!

My mum came in the next day with dh and our dds, which was lovely, but i still couldn't see them for long.

EvilTwins · 08/05/2011 12:44

I was told I would be first of the day with my DTDs. I had to be there for 8am. My girls were delivered at 12.27 in the end, due to a whole host of things which could not have been predicted in advance. My parents came about 5, and our closest friends popped in at about 7, just to say hi, before taking DH off for a curry.

There is no way I could have had visitors before that time - apart from anything else, I lost a lot of blood, so was a) totally out of it, and b) hooked up to a pint of blood with staff in and out. Visitors would have been in the way.

I didn't make it onto the ward for another two days.

This is despite the fact that it was planned, the girls were perfectly healthy and delivered at 37.5 weeks - at that point a good time for twins.

I think your mum should listen to you, really.

Eglu · 08/05/2011 12:47

I think with your Mums attitude I would be likely to lie and say they have changed your time for your ELCS to later in the day. It seems she is very unlikely to listen to your request.

Other than that it is a case of hoping that if you ask the mws they will not let anyone in.

ledkr · 08/05/2011 12:49

I had my 4th cs 14 wks ago,i had her at 11 and then My mum sis and dd1 came in at 3 for about half an hr,then dd stayed with dh untill 8 but she is 9 so sensible. I felt fine but mostly cos was nicely dosed up and still fairly pain free. Having said that id very firmly say and do what you actually want to do and stick with it rigidly.My pils cocked up big time,led to much animosity,pnd and a very strained relationship. Good luck.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 08/05/2011 12:52

I am highly considering lying to her not telling any friends,
when we're booked in for as we wanted it just to be about us, just parents now wishing I hadn't told them either!! Ohs parents are in London and we are in Scotland so luckily there not an issue!

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harrygracejessica · 08/05/2011 14:11

I would tell them not to visit until the next day, with my first I had him at 10.50am and had all the families pop innthat afternoon and I regret it as was so drugged up, I don't remember the visits anyway!!

C-sec 2 was at 5pm and I left the next day anyway as twins in scbu so no one visited

c-sec 3 was 2 weeks ago and was 5pm, I ended up Ill this time though and didn't get out of recovery until 1.30am and had one twin go to scbu and one with me, I wanted my son to visit first with my mum who came the next afternoon and luckily I persuaded them to take my catheter out before he turned up as he's only 4.

I would never have visitors the same day again, the next day is perfectly fine as if you end up in recovery longer then you won't be on the ward anyway!

Highlander · 08/05/2011 19:44

you'll have to stay in recovery for 2 hours post-CS.

This is you and your DH's birth, not your mum's.

You need to tell her this now, before she thinks she can take over everything after your baby is born.

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