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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Visitors after ELCS

50 replies

scaryfairy28 · 07/05/2011 16:42

have section booked and have been given a time to be there of 10am meaning we are third of the day. My mother isca nurse and thinks this and the fact I've been told to fast from the night before means I'll get take about 12. She has decided this means I'll be back on the ward and ready for visitors in time for afternoon visiting at 3 I've told her to wait till evening but she says no! What's the chances of visitors being allowed in at 3? Also what's the chances of ward staff subtly sayIng no to her if we say we're not ready? I'd rather she waited till evening visiting or even the next day but of course she's a nurse and knows best!!

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 08/05/2011 19:47

Tell her you made a mistake over the date, and it's actually the day after you told her originally.

Deal with the fallout later, at least you'll have had some recovery and bonding time beforehand.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 08/05/2011 20:40

Decided I'm going to tell her definately no for afternoon maybe for evening. But yes for both visiting times Friday, and that she might even get to stay longer as OH is self employed and has to go into work in the afternoon.

OP posts:

PrincessScrumpy · 08/05/2011 20:42

I'm banning visitors for a week! Everyone decended on us with dd1 and it was too much. My parents will bring dd1 in the day after twins are born but then they're going to take her back home with them for a sleep over for a few nights. In laws can come when we are home and have had a few nights as a family together.

Feeling like I'm being harsh now. In laws live 4 hours away so would have to stay.

4pudding · 08/05/2011 21:17

if i end needing a section, after reading this thread I think I will tell everyone it's for the day after it's actually booked!

COCKadoodledooo · 08/05/2011 21:19

Mine was booked for 8am - I went into theatre at 1pm

The only visitors I had that afternoon were dh and ds1 (oh, and my best friend who'd been looking after ds1, but she literally popped in for 2 mins to drop him off).

My mum and dad came the next day (they drove 200 miles, stayed for an hour at afternoon visiting, went home with dh and ds for tea then came back for half an hour in the evening before heading home). Other than that, no visitors in the hospital which suited us fine!

If your mum works in the same hospital, and you have a good relationship, then I'd say there's nothing wrong with her popping in on the first day, just for 5 mins, not staying the whole of visiting time though. Obviously it's your choice though, and not hers. And if she does work in a hospital she should know that theatre schedules don't always run to plan, so she should wait until you let her know it's ok first.

Meglet · 08/05/2011 21:24

Lie . You're the one having the op, you're not a zoo animal to be gawped at (my experience of recovery from my EMCS ).

My ELCS was fab as I told everyone I didn't really want visitors, except my sister who came with M&S sandwiches and fresh juice. XP's parents didn't come for 2 weeks , it was great!

Chynah · 08/05/2011 21:58

I would lie. No one but DH knew about my first ELCS til after DS was born. Only inlaws knew about my second ELCS and then only because they were looking after DS while DD was born. I had no visitors after #1 other than DH which was fine as had real trouble feeding DS which meant I did not sleep for 3 night/days afrer birth - visitors would proal have been sworn at :)

littlemisslozza · 09/05/2011 07:07

Agree, tell as few people as possible, then they get a nice surprise when you ring/text to tell them of baby's arrival rather than hassling you or waiting around to come and visit immediately. When people asked when DS2 was due I would always say my due date even thought I knew he was coming 6 days before that, we did tell our close family and a couple of friends but that was it.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 09/05/2011 17:55

Yep we've told no one except parents and OH's best friend so she has someone to go for a drink with at night. Its nice knowing its just us that know. Have told my mother we definately wont be back on ward by 3 and havent had to lie as hospital told me we have to go to observation for 4 hours before going back to the ward.

OP posts:

Wormshuffler · 09/05/2011 18:51

I was still throwing up until 8pm after my lunchtime CS, and my aunty and cousin turned up! I was not best pleased!

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 09/05/2011 19:12

I've told them we'll confirm at 5.30 that its ok for them to come up. Have also told her it might only be 10mins and she seems happy driving an hour for that.

OP posts:

Eglu · 09/05/2011 20:08

Make sure that you have someone who will chuck her out after 10 minutes.

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 09/05/2011 21:16

When I spoke to her tonight I said I didn't know if id even be up for evening visitors and she said they didn't mind driving an hour each way to stay ten mins if that's all I was up for. PFB think she might be about an excited as we are!

OP posts:

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 09/05/2011 21:18

Sorry just realised I've repeated my last message hopefully she'll take the hint if I'm not well.

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nunnie · 09/05/2011 21:23

I had my EMCS at 10 something am, and wasn't taken to the ward till 9pm as I had a couple of issues that needed monitoring. So visitors wasn't an option and weren't missed if I am honest, I didn't have my catheter removed till 6am the following day then I had a shower and felt reasonably human, so was happy for my parents and my MIL to come that evening, but I don't think I would have been comfortable with an earlier visit really.

I also wouldn't rely on the midwives to as people not to visit as if they are busy at the time then they might not get chance it is something you need to try and be firm abour before I know it's probably hard being your mother but you really do have to be firm if you don't want her visiting same day.

stegosauras · 09/05/2011 21:29

I had a c-section with DD2.

I was first on the list to go in at 9AM but didn't go in until about 11:30.

DD2 was delivered at 12:09. I was in HDU about 1PM.

I was desperate not to miss visiting hours which finished at 6PM as I really wanted to see DD1.

They said I should have been kept in HDU until 6PM but if I ate and managed to stand up before that I could go onto the ward earlier. I stood at about 5PM and was on the ward at 5.15 and that was with a LOT of pushing from me.

I hid my bag of wee under the covers

Really, I think you'll have no problem putting visitors off if you want to.

stegosauras · 09/05/2011 21:29

Meant to say mine was an ELCS.

stegosauras · 09/05/2011 21:34

at "a lot of pushing from me" when I had an ELCS

femalevictormeldrew · 09/05/2011 22:00

I was told to be in the hospital at 7am. DD2 was born at 3pm by ELCS under General anesthetic. I went back up to the ward and sat up in the bed puking into a sick bag, parched with thirst, sore throat so unable to speak properly, bag of urine,blood gushing from me, pair of humungous boobs without even a bra for support. My mother dropped DD1 in. My MIL sat and took pictures of me looking my very best. Next time there won't be one visitor until I am able. Please don't commit to any visitors until you see how you feel after it, because you just don't know until that time. Good luck with your baby x

Georgimama · 09/05/2011 22:04

Be firm, say no. No one visited me in hospital when I had DS (not even by section) except my husband and no one is visiting me this time either. Their excitement is of no consequence compared with your comfort after major surgery.

ckny1 · 10/05/2011 10:23

I'm so sorry you're placed in this stressful position, scary, though your mum means well and thinks she has some expertise (as a mum and nurse) to be "helpful". In my 5 days at the hospital, we were only allowed 1 visitor, a friend, and that was hectic enough with all the MW coming in and out of the room.

Essentially as mentioned earlier, that first day is a lovely (though doped up) time for you to discover your baby, techniques of feeding, re-establish your love for your DH, etc. It's a wonderfully emotional day in which you need the space to focus. Close family/friend visitors (not many!) would be nice the next day. I'd lie, too (even if mums always know)! :)

Original poster

scaryfairy28 · 13/05/2011 08:22

Thanks for all the advice she arrived yesterday totally perfect, no nasty effects from section and was able to spend an hour with the grandparents last night, no problem.

OP posts:

gkys · 13/05/2011 08:30

massive congratulations

Eglu · 13/05/2011 13:50

Congratulations Scary.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 14/05/2011 05:35

congratulations!

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