Pushing - anyone else not feel the urge?

[bunnyfrance]

Hello,

I've been through labour once, 2 years ago, am expecting another baby in 4 months' time.

With DS, I had an epidural, which wore off before the "pushing" stage - the midwives didn't want to top it up because they wanted me to feel when to push. Problem was, all I could feel were very painful contractions. I felt absolutely no urge to push.

So then they were all yelling at me when to push and saying I wasn't pushing in the right way! Well, can anyone explain to me what is the "right" way to push? And did anyone else not feel any urge to push?

DS was eventually born with ventouse and it's marked in my notes "instrumental delivery due to insufficient maternal effort"!! Well, thanks for that!

So am looking for advice to avoid this scenario second time round.
Thanks everyone!

What a mean thing to write. I had a drug free birth (1st child) and I also had no urge to push. I just pushed when they told me. It felt very unnatural, took two hours and was very painful. With number 2 I think I did have the urge but since the pushing lasted 5 mins,it was all over without a lot of instruction. Good luck.

With dd1 I had an epi and had no idea how or when to push

DD2 - natural and pushed when told and all was fine and v quick

DS - had been drinking raspberry leaf tea for weeks and weeks and with 2 involuntary pushes he was out. The mw's kept shouting, "stop pushing, we're not ready!" and I was totally unaware that I was! Get the RLT!!! x

I would second the rasberry leaf tea, although I had absolutely no urge to push with either ds.

Even though I had no urge to push the rasberry leaf tea seemed to make ds2's birth a wholoe lot quicker, think I was only pushing for around ten minutes.

I did get told off for shouting whilosdt pushing as apparently it means all you effort is going upwards rather than down where you need it to be

I got the 'poor effort' comment on my notes too!

No urge to push at all. In fact I remember calmly saying to the midwife 'would you mind just checking that I've reached 10cm before I try and push this baby out'.

Well DS ended in EMCS, so for DD I was trying for a VBAC.

The first bit went quite quickly, but once I was fully dilated the MW and student were immediately trying to get me to push. However despite everything I had read about how "your body just takes over" etc, at this stage I was getting no urges to push and didn't feel my body was really doing anything. I tried to follow their instructions, but it seemed like I was doing all the work very consciously and deliberately (no instinctive feelings at all) and especially at first, finding it quite difficult to "do it right". As a result DD was not moving much...

After a while of this and trying a few different positions, I got the hang of what they were trying to get me to do a bit more and started getting a bit more progress, and I also started to get at least a little more of a "pushing feeling", though still not much. Did eventually manage to push her out though, and was very happy to have got my VBAC!

Looking back, I wondered whether what was actually going on was that the MWs were feeling under time pressure because it was a VBAC and the consultants were possibly breathing down their necks and wanting to go for CS if it was taking too long, and whether maybe they were trying to get me to push before my body was quite ready, to avoid this? DH overheard some comment at one point about the "consultants being on their way round" or something, and they did seem very keen to get DD out as quickly as possible even though she wasn't in any distress.

I do wonder whether actually I was still in transition at that point and might have got more urge to push and more "automatic" pushing if we had been able to wait a bit longer for it to kick in. Does that sound possible?

However I really would not have wanted the consultant trying to push me into a CS at that point, and was very happy to be able to get DD out naturally (given there was nothing wrong), so I am not complaining about the results if that was the case!

With my first I had no urge to push. I think it is because she was in the wrong position, she hadn't moved far enough down, I was pushing because they were telling me to but she wasn't budging. It ended up in a cs. With my 2nd the urge to push was very strong. I had to have an episiotomy, then he came out in one contraction, two pushes.

I remember one of the MWs who had been with me earlier in labour with my first came to see me the next day and wondered what had gone wrong as it had all been going so well. Now I have experienced another labour where it all went right, and there was no time for pain relief, I can say without doubt that my first labour was not going well from quite early on. The amount of pain I was in during that first labour was utterly horrendous The two labours were in no way comparable, the pain was on a completely different scale. I hate that they put it down to something the mother did or didn't do right ffs. Surely they should know that sometimes things just aren't quite right.

That's a bit of a harsh thing to write. With mine I did feel the urge to push but I labour quickly and arrived at hospital just in time with DD and pushing with DS.

With DS I got alot of your not pushing right try this position blah blah blah, after 3 and half hours of pushing they realised he was brow and stuck so it didn't really matter how my pushing was he wouldn't have moved. Eventually I was told to stop pushing that isn't possible well I found it impossible anyway, and then whilst I was losing conciousness and then pushing, the midwife said you have done everything perfectly it's nothing you have done. That wasn't what she was saying 3 hours earlier.

I am pregnant again and am sure I will have a comment on my notes blaming me for my EMCS.
I had a narky junior doctor who shouted at me when she was doing an internal, telling me to stop being pathetic internals are uncomfortable but I am exagerating, the midwife explained I was pushing and it was likely to be that, after I had finished and theurge eased I explained the issue wasn't with her hand being up my fanjo, it was the urge to push that came whilst it was there that was painful. I noticed alot of hostility between the doctor and the midwife to be honest, lots of eye rolling from the midwife and gritting of teeth, and at one point she walked out. I think that was when she decided to get the Consultant involved. She returned and told me it would all be over soon and the Consultant was on his way.

I think I have waffled sorry, just wanted to say even with the urge to push pushing correctly isn't natural. Don't beat yourself up and ignore the comment.

I second the shouting in pushing, actually when I was told to stop pushing I was told to shout to take my mind off it.

I went into hospital at 8cm dilated and was still there 12 hours and 2 MW shift-changes later. Officially I was pushing for nearly 4 hours but never felt the urge and ended up on syntocin drip at the end.

Fortunately, my last midwife realised that my waters hadn't broken fully (they'd gone about 36 hours previously before everything else kicked off so maybe no-one else had thought to check) so DD was bumping her head against the membrane every time she tried to come down. After they ruptured the membrane it took just 19 more mins for DD to arrive, which was lucky as annoying consultant kept coming in to harrass me with threat of 'help'.

Another MW was about all this when I told her at my booking appt for next pregnancy - it was all there to read in black and white when we looked at my notes. But maybe it's a more common oversight than we realise and I'll definitely be putting something about it in my birth plan if I get a chance to write one again.

What a horrible thing to write.

I was induced, lots of gel,drip etc and eventually epidural. I felt really strong urge to push for a while but was told not to as only 6cm and when it came to fully dilated, they let the epidural wear off, I knelt up and tried to push for 2 hours, very difficult as no/little urge and was told she was only half way - resulted in forceps due to baby going into dstress.

That's interesting Pootle as I also felt like I did need to push when I was probably around that stage too (prob around 5-6cm), pity I was no longer feeling the same urge when fully dilated!

nunnie I am at your doctor and MW, how horrible!

It was stressful for all involved I think, and the Doctor had probably done a stupidly long shift. Unlikely I will meet either of them again so at least I have that to keep me going in this pregnancy. The Consultant was great when he got there, one quick examination and during it I had the urge and he said I will keep my hand here if you don't mind because I want to feel if he moves, he didn't comment on me exagerating and he reacted in the way that he knew what was coming and was happy to just leave me to it. Then he told me the facts, and was very polite and helpful and all went from there.

For every bad there is a good.

I had no urge to push with DC1. I'd dilated fully within about half an hour (yay precipitous labour) but the contractions just tailed off and I didn't have any urges. I had the urge whilst dilating (thought I needed a number 2 and it wasn't labour!) but not when I was "supposed" to be upon full dilation.

Long story short - pushed for an hour and nothing happened (I was told off for not pushing hard enough despite bursting blood vessels ), until the midwife finally checked and found a swollen lip was remaining. She held it out the way and baby came out shortly afterwards. I've since been told it's quite likely that pushing against that lip so hard for an hour contributed to my later incompetent cervix with subsequent pregnancies.

After speaking to nicer community midwives (big natural, home birth supporters) with subsequent pregnancies, they all seem to think that after a precipitous first stage especially, often the body just wants to rest before the real urge to push comes and that the mother should be left for even up to a few hours until everything is ready.

Wish I'd known that.

Mynameis, I've now spoken with several doulas who've told me that you can go from 6 ish cm dilated to fully dilated just by pushing through one or 2 contractions....! Maybe we were ready to push!!!

I had no urge to push with either labour, it was a lot of conscious effort on my part - first time around the midwife told me when to push (on continuous monitoring so she could see conrtactions coming). Second time around I was told I was doing everything right, but they took my gas and air away as they said I wasn't getting the urge to push as that was distracting me...(?!)

Both times my labours have been really fast first stage and then long second stage, my contractions never hit a rhythm, and are always getting weaker by the time DC's have popped out. The threat of intervention seems to be the trigger for the delivery, my babies wait to see the Consultant's face and then... Ta-daa!

I delivered DC2 in a really odd position, I wonder if my pelvis is perhaps an odd shape for delivery?!

I didn't feel the urge or desire. I desperately wanted a c section (for many reasons, not going to get into it right now). I had an epidural, but refused to push unless they topped it up for the pushing and delivery. One MW said "oh she'll do it. Her body will just naturally make her push".

That didn't happen.

They finally topped up my epidural, then I pushed with all of my might for a few hours and ended up with episiotomy & ventouse. And I must say, that pushing with a ventouse was still very hard work. But all worth it in the end, of course. It was a LOT of very hard pushing and pressure. I couldn't sit without pain for several weeks and mw's who came around to check my stitches all made this face: and said "you are very bruised ".

I've had two DCs and no urge to push with either of them. DC1 finally emerged 3 hours later with the help of a ventouse; I managed to push out DC2 myself but in each case, I was pushing when I was told, rather than in response to any urge. In fact, I would say my contractions faded for the pushing stage which was really blimmin' annoying!

My midwife with DD1 left me to 'labour down' for about an hour and a half after I was fully dilated (she went and had a sandwich and a cuppa; I'd had an epidural). By the time she came back I felt lots of pressure and DD1 came out in 3 pushes. I credit the midwife entirely for her complete willingness to just wait as long as DD1 seemed to be tolerating the contractions.

With DD2 I can't remember the urge to push - just the urge to get the pain over and done with and anger at the midwives for completely failing to believe I was in labour / telling me to be quiet (drug free precipitous labour; blue lighted in and delivered shortly afterwards). The anger was probably the most compelling reason to do anything I've ever had .

My midwives waited an hour and a half for an urge to push to materialise. It didn't. I pushed under direction for 6hrs. No baby. Had episiotomy/ventouse/attempted manual roation, no baby, no urges. Had an emcs and it turned out that she was severely malpositioned. I assume this was why I had no urge.

My notes say 'exemplary maternal effort' and 'good, correct pushing'. I had feck all clue what I was doing and always assumed they just wrote that to make me feel better. What they wrote on yours op was really upsetting.

I also had no urge to push. DD did come out naturally but only because I was pushing when the midwife told me too. I was also told that I wasn't pushing right, but I still don't know what I was doing wrong - I don't think it was written in my notes though. Doesn't make you feel good does it? It's put me off having a second.

I have had 4 VBs and for only one of them I got the urge to push. The other 3 I pushed when I was told to but got no urge to.

I started an almost identical thread last year as I had absolutely no urge to push with Ds. I ended up pushing for 4hrs. He turned out to be back to back. With Dd it was totally opposite. I got to the hospital at 6.30pm, my waters went at 8.12pm and my body just started pushing. It was the most bizarre feeling as I had absolutely no control at all. Dp had to rush and get the Mw and Dd was born at 8.16pm after just 4 pushes! If they'd told me stop pushing, I wouldn't have been able to.

Ebb my labour was exactly the same. You honestly couldnt have given me a million quid to stop pushing. My body was doing it all.

ebb and boo, you see that's what I thought happened with labour - you got this urge to push that nothing would stop. But reading everyone else's stories, this is obviously not the case and it's comforting to know i'm not the only one! It really seems like it's luck of the draw and there's nothing much you can do about it if you're not pushing in the "right" way.

I translated the comments on my notes from the French, but those are pretty much the words they used - I don't think they write them with the patient in mind! I'm also surprised at how long some people were left to push for - over here, they'll let you try for about 30 minutes and then whip out the ventouse/forceps/CS!

Bunnyfrance I was told you were allowed to push for a max of 2hrs here (UK) as long as baby doesn't show any signs of distress. I had a shift change in the middle of my pushing. I suspect the first MW told me to start pushing as I'd asked for something more than G&A. If she'd have told me I was going through transition and things would ease a bit then I would have dealt with it better. I don't think I was ready to push when she told me to start iyswim? The second MW was much nicer and far more encouraging. Ds was 'at the door' so to speak for ages but I just couldn't push him out. In the end I had an episiotomy and he flew out in one push. I think my fanjo was tough as old boots! I rode horses a lot before I got pregnant and think my pelvic floor was very strong. With Dd everything was obviously a lot saggier stretchier!

Nope. Three labours, and didn't feel an urge to push with any of them. I just did as I was told. When themidwives shouted "push", I pushed.