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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Anyone else who had an epidural feel they cheated?

36 replies

yellowflowers · 02/04/2011 18:50

I had an epidural. It was simply marvellous. No pain and couldn't even feel to push. Was given it at 1cm dilated as waters had broken and no real contractions so was induced with a drip.

Am fully in favour of pain relief but just recently, three months later, I have started to wonder if I cheated a bit. All the women I meet at baby activities share their birth stories and though I am thrilled I don't have a horror story (well, with a manual removal of placenta and a five day stay in hospital with a poorly baby before taking her home it certainly wasn't plain sailing) I feel that by not even feeling a real contraction I totally cheated. Am I being ridiculous? I probably am - after all if there is a next time I fully intend to have another epidural.

OP posts:

belgo · 02/04/2011 18:52

Not as cheated as you would feel if you had had the epidural and it hadn't worked properly, which is what has happened to several friends of mine!

ragged · 02/04/2011 19:21

You're being ridiculous (is it possible to say that in a nice way?); it's not a competition. Just be glad that it's been so good so far. I promise you'll end up having other horrendous (enough at the time) problems with your baby/child that the other parents sail thru without a hiccup. When you're standing on the sidelines thinking "WHY ME?!" about whatever it is, remember back to how nice the birth experience was for you but not for others.

Original poster

yellowflowers · 02/04/2011 19:26

Very possible Ragged and thank you. X

OP posts:

ragged · 02/04/2011 19:44

I suppose it's perfectly reasonable to feel a bit like you missed out on something.
But honestly, contractions are over-rated :). I wouldn't have minded giving them a miss myself .

BarbaraBar · 02/04/2011 19:51

A "friend" of mine has had 3 children, all at home and all without pain relief. I'm bored of hearing how she "top trumps" all of us in terms of childbirth. I had em section with ds1 and then wonderful vbac with epidural with ds2. You do what works for you.

And congratulations!

strawberrie · 02/04/2011 19:51

Hell no. My epidural transformed me from a writhing mess into my normal lucid, articulate self.

No 2 is due in a few months, and I'm keen to have a labour without epidural but at the same time if I feel like I need one, I will not be holding back in asking for one.

0891 · 02/04/2011 19:54

I didn't feel like I "cheated" when I had anaesthetic for root canal..

expatinscotland · 02/04/2011 19:55

No.

Quasimojo · 02/04/2011 19:57

You had no choice, so whilst I understand wondering what it may have been like otherwise, I would just try to accept thats what happened. My first was similar to yours, my second was a no-time-for-pain-relief living room floor birth (oops!) but both were fab in thier own different ways. The birthing experience is so different for each baby and each woman, there is no norm I suspect

pippala · 02/04/2011 20:52

Hallo yellowflowers,
No you didn't cheat
Contractions with a drip absolutly warrant an epidural!
When I had my kids I was into active natural birth and yes I did think that other women who chose an epidural were cheats but as 0891 very cleverly points out no one cheats to have an injection for a root canal.
As my children grew and I learnt more during midwifery training I realised that epidurals are helpful especially with induced labour and agumented labour.
What is cheating is women who expect an epidural on admittance ie 2/3 cms refuse all other methods of pain relief, don't move off the bed at all and then when no progress is made ask for a CS. These women are, in this day and age mostly well informed but would rather a CS than to work at getting their babies born!

SilverScarf · 02/04/2011 21:14

Nope, loved all of mine.

winnybella · 02/04/2011 21:18

Of course not. I had it with dc1 (same story, waters went, but contractions have stopped, so they induced me) and it was lovely. For dc2, I went into labour in the morning and stayed home til the contractions were 4 minutes apart as I found I could deal with the pain, but an hour after arrival in the hospital they got so painful that I asked for epidural and had at literally the last moment- but I was so happy to have it. Labour is very painful and pain relief is there for a reason.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen · 02/04/2011 21:19

A little. I had a bit of pain before I had the epidural but nothing major and after that it was pretty much a breeze. I don't feel I know what childbirth is really like somehow.

I'm not sure what I'd do next time. I would like to try for a water birth but don't think I'd beat myself up if I had another epidural.

bigkidsmademe · 02/04/2011 21:28

I feel a bit like I let myself down by not being able to cope with the (induced) contractions without an epidural. That's daft too - I'd have pain relief for removal of an ingrown toenail ffs - but I still feel it. I know exactly what you mean, and I downplay my labour and birth when discussing it with other mothers for that reason

aren't we daft.

BagofHolly · 02/04/2011 23:23

If you cheated with an epidural for childbirth, I cheated with a GA for having my gallbladder out.

HaggisNeepsnTatties · 02/04/2011 23:26

No, but I did feel cheated when my long awaited tea and toast didn't turn up....

colditz · 02/04/2011 23:29

No I did not. It was wonderful and I was grateful for being born in the 80s and not the 20s!

colditz · 02/04/2011 23:33

I've had both the gas and air vaginal birth - no other drugs, and I've had the epiduraled induced vaginal birth.

Being induced is fucking unbearable. With my second birth, i only had pain like that for the last 45 minutes and could cope with g&a because the midwife said I was nearly ready. With my first I had been screaming for 3 hours until I let them put an epidural in ( needle phobia) and was still only 3 cm dilated.

The induction pushes you to warp three with the pain and it STAYS there. There's no let up like with a 'normal' labour. You NEED an epidural unless it's progressing like hell, and as you're being induced in the first place, the guess is that you're not progressing!

colditz · 02/04/2011 23:36

BarbaraBar - I'd 'mention in passing' to your so called friend that your midwife told you that your vagina wasn't slack enough to let the baby pass out very easily - oh, not that you're implying she has a slack fanny, no no no...

BarbaraBar · 03/04/2011 18:47

Lol colditz. Dh said that he had been wondering whether no pain = baggy bits. Every time she makes this boast to a new mum who has had pain relief (and she does this a lot) dh calls her "slack susie".

Oscalito · 03/04/2011 20:52

I had gas and air, epidural, pethidine, forceps.... and I thank god for modern medicine. the baby had a big head and even though I pushed for two hours he couldn't make that final corner. With an epidural (as you'd know) you feel the sensations even though you don't feel pain and there is no way I would have wanted to feel the pain of that head coming out! I have a friend who didn't get an epidural and can barely face labour again, so even though I 'cheated' in a way, I am sort of glad that's the case. By the time I got an epidural I was out of it with pain anyway and there's no way I could have done another 11 hours of that, which is how long it took to get the baby out (a long, faffy labour). I might try to do without next time if it's faster, but quite frankly they've gone to the trouble of inventing all this pain relief, we may as well use it if we need to.

maxpower · 03/04/2011 20:56

No, I don't feel I cheated. I couldn't have coped without an epidural with DC1, but managed on just G&A for DC2. Women shouldn't feel like they have to have a horror story about childbirth as some sort of badge of honour. I'd rather share my fantastic labour/delivery of DC2 over the traumatic experience of DC1 any day of the week.

discobeaver · 03/04/2011 21:06

Why be in pain if the option is to be pain free? Daft. Sorry, but it's daft.

Why do women do this to themselves, no-one cares if you had pain relief or not, except other women who need to make themselves feel superior.

All that matters is that both you and the baby are healthy and happy.

LizzieBusy · 04/04/2011 08:16

Dont be so bloody stupid. Have done it with and without. Same result - healthy baby!
Also I dont buy into the - oh you recover so much quicker crap. I think thats because a lot of people have an epi on their 1st and due to time constraints dont on their 2nd, so of course you feel better 2nd time round.

I hate ridiculous posts like this designed to make women who have done a totally heroic thing to be made feel like a failure.

bruffin · 04/04/2011 08:38

You are not being silly OP. I had an epidural for my DS and ended up in theatre after failed ventuese and ready for an emergency CS if forceps didn't work, which thankfully they did. The whole was awful I couldn't feel to push etc. The epidural slowed everything down.
Second time round no pain relief whatsoever as I g&a make me sick and was completely different. I could go with my instinct which was to walk around, which I couldn't with the epidural.
If I were to give birth again (which I won't) there is no way I would ever have an epidural or even recommend one. I did recover so much quicker with the second birth because i didn't have to have an episiostomy. I had no stitches at all.

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