worried about bonding if I need a c-section, tell me I'm being silly

[painfullyhonest]

Really really don't like the idea of a c-section, every time I watch one on TV I hate the idea of baby only being on my chest briefly before being taken away, and the coldness of a doctor pulling baby out of me - and I really just don't want to be cut open, every time I think about it it seems wrong to me.

Had a 3rd degree tear last time and am continent, but have to sometimes be careful (eg. doing star jumps with a full bladder etc)

and may need to be induced due to Obs. Cholestasis. Early days but just in case it looks like it wd be safer to have a c-section, is there anything I can read or request to put my mind at ease?

Am very close to my DD even tho she didn't feed immediately at birth and I know that if I do have csec I will be weeping till my baby is safely in my arms. Please help me get over myself, I do understand rationally that the c-sec can be a safe option!

I had an emergency c section with my DD (first baby) and whilst there are things I would do differently next time if i elected to have a section again I can honestly say it did not affect the bonding process one bit. In fact I had quite a difficult pregnancy and did not enjoy the experience at all so I was quite worried about bonding etc...BUT the minute I held her in recovery it was amazing and has been pretty much ever since then! Don't worry if it comes to it it will be fine. Also read about what others on here have said about what they have done to enhance their elective sections for ideas on how to make it more bearable for you! Good luck

I could have written Steben's post.
Difficult pg. Planned a water birth, had an EMCS.
Bonded no problem at all, recovered quickly.

You could think about negotiating a CS birth plan to include things to increase your chance of BF and bonding.
e.g.
delayed umbilical cord clamping

-skin to skin contact with baby on the OR table; if mom is not able, birth partner is encouraged to do skin to skin with baby until you can do it herself
(and no cleaning of baby as the smaell of amniotic fluid helps stimulate bonding)

Some hospitals will even -propping women up on the table to help her see her baby emerge

www.guardian.co.uk/society/2005/dec/03/health.medicineandhealth
dou-la-la.blogspot.com/2010/01/c-section-birth-plan-oxymoron-not-even.html

I had an EMCS (but pretty calm) after failed induction for OC and PE. DD had to spend 3 days in SCBU so we were apart, but we still bonded immediately. DH also bonded really well with her.

Not all hospitals or consultants are happy doing delayed clamping or skin-to-skin in theatre. My hospital didn't do it because 1, the theatres are kept too cold to be ideal for skin-to-skin and 2, when they're sewing you up, the screen is at your boob level so there's little room on you for baby. If you're having a CS because of complications, they are also more likely to want an immediate paed check of baby. But my team were really lovely, they tried to not block my line of sight to DD as she was being checked, then she was wrapped in a towel (not cleaned though!), DH hugged her and then he placed her on my shoulder and she stayed there, right next to my face, while they finished up with me. The MW then really supported us to have skin-to-skin in recovery and actually helped me hand express colostrum into a syringe when DD wouldn't feed.

I had an EMCS with DS and due to the spinal failing it was done under GA, so DS was taken out to DH once he was checked and weighed. I don't feel it affected my bonding with DS. As soon as I was woken up he was placed in my arms. I suppose it could be because that was the first time I had seen him and I got to hold him then.

your baby won't be taken away from you! All my births have been sections so I have nothing to compare to but have had no trouble bonding/breastfeeding/sudden overwhelming love etc. I've had skin to skin in theatre with my last two (tbh didn't make any difference compared to the ones I haven't), they've all been handed to me immediately for a cuddle before dh takes them to be weighed & dressed (& he trims the cord) - that takes ?5 minutes & they are in sight the whole time. Then swaddled & tucked back up with me while I'm stitched up & then we're taken through to recovery where I breastfeed (though ds3 latched on in theatre while we had skin to skin!). Then to post natal ward & the baby doesn't leave my arms the whole time :)

Selina how does delayed cord clamping aid bonding? (I know about potential physiological benefits but am not sure why is would aid bonding - is it simply that the baby can't be taken away while the cord is still attached?)

I had DC3 as a planned c section, I had a birth plan which was v respectfully adhered to. All lights (other than the main surgical light) were turned off, the consultant ensured that my dh and I were first to see and acknowledge the sex of the baby. He was handed straight to me and tucked inside my gown for skin to skin. He fed in theatre as I was being stitched up and wasn't weighed until later. Then he was weighed in my sight and immediately returned.

It was a heavenly experience and considering one of my other births was a home birth and I'm not one for medical intervention in childbirth that's really saying something!

Hi - I had an emergency CS after failed induction. Couldn't have cared less about anything, just wanted her out and for everyone to stop messing about with us! After NCT classes, the section was such a let down and I remember shouting "This is absolute Shite!" as I stared at the Theatre lights whilst people rummaged around in my abdomen as if looking through the bottom of a shopping bag. All the team were laying bets on the birth weight! DD was briefly shown to me and then whisked away. DH stayed with me until I ordered him to go with DD. She was then wrapped up and put right next to my face. Writing this it sounds like I had a bad time, but honestly it was fine. No problem with bonding or breastfeeding. DD never even dropped an ounce of her birthweight. The midwife said I must be producing double cream.

Good question! peanutbutterontoast
And thinking about it, it probably doesn't, well not in the short term anyway.
I guess if baby is in better condition by having extra oxygen rich blood they are less likly to needed resus or to go to paeds so more likely to be able to do skin to skin and early breastfeeding.
S x

ok so I guess that if it does come to having a CS, best to work out a birth plan that I'm comfortable with and be very clear well before about what I want. Good to hear that you all feel ok about yr experiences and no apparent sadness. I have probably watched too many baby programmes, I was addicted to watching women giving birth just after I had dd - was pinned to the sofa while she clusterfed and ~I cried every time... Hormones did recover and I weaned myself off them but I still love watching natural labour!

question about no cleaning - don't they usually rub babies down to stimulate blood flow and and warm them up? if they stay wet then they will cold faster no? and I thought the key thing was to keep them warm?

I've had no bonding problems whatsoever after my EMCS, but know a few women who had after vaginal birth (some of which weren't even traumatic), so I think that the it's more luck of the draw and has less to do with the mode of birth

Good luck

painfully honest no one appeared to feel a need to rub him down, also true of my home births. He was tucked into my gown all wet and slippery and I guess my body heat and the warm operating theatre were enough.

another failed induction emcs. dd oblivious though - she latched on the my collar bone as soon as they placed her on me :) really no bonding problrms whatsoever.

op i'm sure it will be fine

hth

I have had 2 ELCS and both times baby was given straight to me and lay on my chest whilst they stitched me up. They were still grubby just had a towel put over them for warmth. All the weighing and checks were done later in the recovery room. No bonding problems at all.

I'm sure if you have an ELCS you can ask for the brilliant suggestions made here to help you feel closer to your baby.

However... I really wouldn't worry about it. Ds was born at 34 weeks by cs and taken straight to SCBU. I didn't see him for hours or hold him for 5 days. No problem at all bonding and I bf him for 2 years. Although I can appreciate that it could have an effect, I think bonding must be more complicated than the immediate physical presence of your baby in the minutes after birth.

Good luck!

I had a ELCS followed by 3 VBACs and haven't held any of them straight away - that has been dh's job - but can't think that it has affected bonding as I doted on each of them the second I saw them in dh's arms :)

I too had an ELCS and we've bonded well! My hospital were too short staffed (new years) to let me have DD with me in recovery but DH had a magical hour with her on the ward, something he says was the most amazing feeling. This meant we've both bonded really well! Good luck!

all my children were crash sections,not anticipated .i love them we bonded.only to the competitive birthers is it an issue.the gave birth after 96 hour analgesia free labour,sucking a trebor mint,wafting incense and boy they love to opine about cs and too posh to push quips

MY DD was born by emergency C-section (she got stuck chin up after 23 hours of labour), they took her out, quickly cleaned and weighed her and then passed her to me, I had about an hour of cuddles and attempting feeding before I was able to go have a shower .

BF was not an issue, once we got the latch sorted and DD and I are incredibly close (mind you she is only 17 months)

I really don't think a C-section made any difference, except fopr the fact that we're both here now.

C-section here too, no problems with bonding.

OP, I could have written your post. I'm 25 weeks with DC2 and also terrified at the thought of a C-section. Partly because of the recovery time (my 2 year old won't understand that mummy can't pick him up) and partly because I had DS put on me straight away and kept him on me for well over an hour while he had his first feed and I'm scared this wouldn't/couldn't happen with a C-section and would affect bonding.

All these posts are really helpful. I plan to chat to my midwife at my next appointment about what the 'rules' are in my hospital for C-section births - I like the idea of having lights down/baby put on me straight away and not taken off to be weighed/rubbed down immediately.

Fingers crossed neither of us will need a section, but if we do I reckon having all the information and discussing all the options first has got to be a good thing.

When are you due? Congrats by the way! :)

And the surgery team were some of the jolliest most delightful people I've ever met: it was a very pleasant time in there, and I've always thought how nice it is that ds came to the world in such a happy atmosphere.

Re the worries about the older child not being able to understand - I believe they understand more than we sometimes give them credit for. We just had an unplanned and not so nice "trial run" of how my 27 months old can cope with mummy in hospital, as I was admitted to hospital with a kidney infection, and she was amazing.

She helped her dad packing my bag (unfortunately neither of them realising that at 30 weeks I don't really fit into my non-maternity clothes anymore...) and was really gentle with me, as we both kept telling her that she needs to be gentle because "mummy is poorly".

She didn't like leaving me in hospital, and I know it wasn't easy for her, but she certainly was very careful around me.

In a way last weekend's experience was very reassuring, as to see how my daughter can cope (although I wouldn't recommend getting yourself a kidney infection, they're bloody painful and scary)