positive childbirth stories?!

[mooms]

i'm 32 wks tomorrow, first baby and i've made the decision to give birth (with good luck and a fair wind!) at a birthing centre, so no option of epidural, 15 mins transfer to hospital if anything goes wrong.

The thing is, all women keep telling me is their horror labour stories, how painful it is, traumatic, emergency c sections, tears, all the negatives.

i want to hear some positives, i want to be as calm as poss and to know that yes it bloody hurts but it's bearable, that not all labours end in emergency c sections, etc i don't want to be scared before i even start! i'm not naive enough to think it'll all go as planned, i'll do whatever is necesary to give birth to a healthy little one, and i may end up being a total wuss but only 4 people (2 of whom are my mum and a work colleague who are obviously older and it's a while back for them!) have anything positive to say!

anyone else feel like this or have any positives for me? should i just ask people not to tell me any more?!

don't fight the contractions, go with them.

trust yourself. don't panic. focus or think about something good and positive in between contractions.

many congratulations and bloody good luck

i have had 1 bleh birth, 1 fantastic birth, and 1 that was um, a bit too quick!

but my fantastic one was well, fantastic!
ds2 was born at home, 6 hours of labour, progressed well despite being back to back. I was attended by 2 lovely, lovely, lovely midwives who kept their hands to themselves and let me labour how i wanted to.
It was the most amazing experience, i wanted to do it again straight away!!!

why do people insist on sharing their horror birth stories with pg women?

no horror stories from me. 3 dc, no epidurals just gas and air.

dc3 born in birthing pool (managed to deliver her myself, no help from mw was FAB!)

speedy recovery with each. After pains are not much fun but having a beautiful little one to snuggle makes up for that!

now the sleepless nights are another thread entirely!

all the best with the birth.

i had dd at home, no pain relief. bloody fabulous. enjoyed every minute of labour and would do it all again tomorrow if:

1)we could afford more than 2 children
2) i didn't spend most of pg being sick!

i am sure you will be fine, people seem to enjoy telling pg ladies their birth horror stories!

oh and as basking says, don't fight it. it's a cliche but do try and relax as much as poss. it really does help.

I had a great birth - at home, in water, with just a bit of gas and air in the last bit. It was hard and it did hurt, but it never felt impossible. I was well supported by my Mum, DH and midwives, and had done a lot of reading up/nct/yoga etc, which helped me mentally as I am a research a lot kind of person. I realise I was very lucky to have good care, a well positioned baby and no medical problems, and am fairly worried I may have used up all my good luck! However, I know many other Mums who had positive experiences - people much prefer to tell you the bad rather than the good.

3 straightforward ones here, too

in water, gas and air only

did tear but no big deal (honestly!)

and one of mine was a +10lber

good luck! [

mumatron, I think if a woman has a horror birth story, she tends to want to share it with anyone and everyone. It's just that pg women are so interested in finding out about childbirth that they make perfect listeners.

I had 3 fabulous home births with two lovely midwives at each (all 2 years apart). Only gas and air, my own music, house to labour in, Chinese take away after with partner and friends. Absolutely heaven.
My advice would be to relax as much as possible and trust your body..you will know what to do when the time comes.
Congratulations and good luck

YY to going with it. i found outstretching my palms really helped ie checking I wasn't clenching/tensing. I remember reading something that said the only muscle to tense during a contraction is your uterus - definitely helped.

thanks ladies,

so nice to hear some postives, every time i've gone to antenatal i've felt positive and then i hear some stories and start to worry and doubt myself, just wanted some reassurance. i've got the hypnobirthing cd and hoping for a water birth but we shall see!

oh, mine were v positive
ds1: waters went at 10pm, called hospital and they said to come in to get checked (I was 36+6), went in and contractions started on the way, around 10.30-11pm, had about 4 or 5 contractions in the car (20 min journey). Contractions came fast and furious, started pushing pretty quickly and ds1 born 00.36am
ds2: planned home birth, waters went at 11.36pm (36+6), first contraction around 11.45pm, delivered ds2 myself at around 11.55pm. MW eventually turned up about an hour later, after the paramedics due to ex-H calling 999 after baby was born.

to be fair, it does really really fucking hurt!

but you know, it helps to keep thinking "it will end it will end" each time you have a contraction. beucase it WILL end and in that respect it's easier to cope with htan say a toothache or whatever, because you know that it will soon be done.

and it's soooooo true that once you have your baby in your arms you will just not care AT ALL about anythiing else

Another good one from me as well.

My waters broke at 2 pm out of the blue - I had no contractions until they went. I rang the hospital and went in, and by the time I got there my contractions were about 3 minutes apart. I used TENS, but couldn't get on with gas and air so gave up on it after a couple of breaths. Six hours later out popped DD. I didn't tear and wasn't cut.

The midwife who delivered my daughter later told me that I'd had a "textbook delivery".

I gave birth to ds2 at a birth centre and can completely recommend it - the midwives were great and care afterwards was amazing, so although it wasn't an easy labour as such (little monkey was an 11lb 2 giant!), I have very positive memories of my labour because of the supportive environment I was in. Go for it - remember it's only a day of your life and that every bit of pain is constructive because it brings you closer to the goal...your baby!

I had 10mnts each of gas and air with my second and third. (First was emcs because of chromosome abnormalities with dd).
By the time it was unbearable, it was transition and then once you need to push, it's tiring but fine.
The labour pains were also bearable. I hung my arms round someone(dh / doula) and just relaxed my body and concentrated on my breathing. Had doula or dh massage my back.
Both labours were for 5-6 hours and quick deliveries once everything hotted up.

Sure it hurts but it was ok too. After ds1 the first thought in my mind was - this was fine. I want to do it again.
Ds2 was a bit quicker and more sudden and I was more tired - and no, I don;t want to do it again!

2 easy births here.

No pain relief and no gas and air and no stitches.

First labour at 37 weeks - about 10 hours - waters went first. Spent a while in a warm bath.

Second labour - extremely quick. About half an hour from first definite twinge to baby. Only just made it to hospital - hadn't even got any clothes off before they told me to push.

Neither was particularly painful. I have had an abcess in a wisdom tooth and that was much worse than childbirth.

Don't be afraid of the contractions. They are your friend. Listen and respond to the rhythms of your body.

I know I sound like a new-age hippy but I'm not, but it was a very natural, stress-free experience (with the exception of the hospital rush part!)

my labour wasn't necessarily easy, but it was as I had prepared for it could be. It sounds worse written down

I didn't find it a horror, found it all manageable and the pain, painful but bearable.

I'm saying it could be long, back to back, asthma attack thrown in, 3rd degree tear and it can still be a positive experience and come away happy like I did. Especially if you're in a nice midwife led unit, who are likely to be better and more supportive than hospital MWs.

I had DS at home. No pain relief apart from TENS and one puff of gas and air (to see if I liked it - I didn't!!). Yes, it hurt, but each individual contraction only lasts half a minute or so, and even right at the end, none of them were any more painful than the night-time cramps I'd been getting in my calf muscles towards the end of the pregnancy. I had fab midwives who gave me all sorts of suggestions for getting through each contraction - walking helped, bouncing on the ball helped, and bonkers as it sounds, when I was in the pool (which was bliss!), my midwife told me to find an object and direct all the pain towards it (I chose the shiny handle on a cupboard door). I had a long labour (19 hours, back-to-back) but in all that time there was only one contraction that I felt I couldn't cope with, and that was the last one before the pushing! Pushing stings like hell, but at that stage you can clearly feel your baby moving down through the canal and you know you're near the end of it.

I was very, very scared of childbirth, but on the morning when I woke up in labour, all the fear had gone. I remember watching the sun come up and feeling the calmest, strongest and most focused I'd ever felt in my life. My body knew exactly what to do. I spent a good part of the day laughing and giggling, eating chips and watching Laurel and Hardy DVDs. It needn't be a scary or upsetting experience at all.

My second labour was manageable thanks to either meptid or pethidine - can't remember which one they gave me - I was absolutely amazed at how effectively it took the edge off the contractions and allowed me to relax into them. They will prob be available in your birthing unit. Was too scared to have one of these for my first birth, thinking it would affect the baby, but it really didn't affect the baby. Quick labour, and I just lay on my side throughout - changing position tends to make me uncomfortable during labour (and by uncomfortable I mean start begging for epidural) so for me, staying still and ignoring everyone works.

Hi, I've had 2 lovely and one where everything went wrong, and do you know it wasn't the end of the world, never had any pain relief other than the spinal in theatre when I was rushed in for a section. Same advice as everyone else, try and relax and think of the contractions as taking you closer to seeing your baby, each one you have is one you don't have to do again. Also don't be shy about loudly questioning anything you're not completely happy with, your labour will go much more smoothly if you are feeling happy and in control, feeling scared will just make your body close up.

I am sure you will get many positive stories in reply.

I have had five labours and only used gas and air.
Yes they were very painful and a bit overwhelming at the time but I never had any stitches and bounced back both physically and emotionally very quickly afterwards.

I would not be without the experiences and felt very proud of myself afterwards! Loving and supportive husband made all the difference too.

The most important thing is to keep moving around, and keep calm, IMO. Yes, there's pain, and that pain is truly horrid, but chances are you will be able to deal with it well. I had my one child at home, with no access to drugs, and it all went pretty smoothly. I tore a bit, but generally, it was a hugely positive experience. I tend to think that the more pain-killing you do, the harder it makes the birth process in the long-run... though, I have every sympathy with those who opt for the pain relief options - I can imagine that it might easily be a great deal more painful for someone else than it was for me.

Long, slow breaths.

I had two pretty straightforward births in birthing centres (but not in the UK). I'm glad they're becoming more widespread in the UK, as they're a great compromise between avoiding the overmedicalised management of hospitals (for uncomplicated births where none is needed) and the annoyance of the mess from a home birth (I would feel very inhibited about making primal 'gaaaahrrr' sounds because of the neighbours hearing).

The birthing centre allowed me to do what I felt right throughout the birth, and as long as the baby wasn't getting distressed, the midwives just let me get on with it. It's a very instinctive way of doing things. There was no pain relief available at all - gas and air is only in the UK - but if you know that in advance you know you need to rely on yourself - or at least you know it's up to you to ask for a transfer if it all gets too much.

I'd agree with Spiderlight that the birth made me very focused and calm. The only time I was worried both times was the car journey on the way there, because the births were very quick and being in a car stopped me from doing what felt right, which was walking round and being on all-fours - I was 8 cm dilated by the time I arrived at the birth centre both times. In retrospect that was maybe being a teensy bit too calm.

For DD1 I started in the bath (big jaccuzzi thing) but after 30 mins felt I had to move around, and did the rest with walking up and down between contractions, and on all-fours for the contractions and birth. DD2 was a more straightforward water birth (but I think I was still asleep - it was 2 hours from me waking up to birth at 6 am). The moment of crowning for both births was the sharpest - but not most painful - thing I have ever felt, in a very positive sense.

With DD1 the placenta didn't arrive, so I had to be transferred to hospital to a manual removal, but it wasn't a problem. Healthy baby born, no tearing, I was happy enough, we went home seven hours after the birth. The hospital was foul, though, I'm so glad I didn't give birth there. With DD2 the placenta deigned to arrive after a bit of encouragement and we were back at home three hours after the birth (and five hours after the start of labour) - it would have been quicker but there's a law in Germany prohibiting mothers leave the unit before three hours. We all sat there twiddling thumbs and making small talk until we were allowed to go. The midwife then visited us every day after the birth to check on me and the baby for a week or so (don't know if this is the case in the UK, but it ought to be).

So yes, the birth centre will give you the freedom to do what feels best to you, in as far as that is medically possible. I would trust the midwifes to tell you if you reach the point where they would recommend a transfer. The pre-birth transfer rate at the birth centres we used was about 15%, but some of those were at the women's wish (because they wanted pain relief) rather than being medically necessary. Best of luck with it all.